Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Age, Agency Culture, Ambition, America, Aspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Brands, Colenso, Colleagues, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Curiosity, Cynic, Distinction, Emotion, Empathy, Environment, Experience, Fulfillment, Individuality, Innovation, LaLaLand, Love, Luck, Metallica, Miley, Mr Ji, Mum & Dad, Music, My Childhood, Nottingham, Parents, Perspective, Play, Relationships, Relevance, Resonance, Respect, Rick Rubin, Rockstar Games, Standards, Talent
A few weeks ago, I found myself wandering around Marina Del Ray, in LA.
It’s an area I know well given I both worked and lived relatively near the place a few years ago.
Anyway, as I was strolling around, I was looking at the boats moored along the marina. Be under no illusion, you need a bunch of cash to own a boat in LA and even more to be able to afford to keep it in a shared dock – but that’s the thing about Los Angeles, it’s a place of financial extremes.
There were all manner of boats in all manner of shapes and sizes … but the thing that grabbed my attention was their choice of names.
I love hearing what people call things.
Years ago, with cynic, we did a project with a video rental company [told you it was years ago] which included us exploring the ‘passwords’ people had on their account.
We didn’t know whose account it was – or the details of the recipient – it was just a list of random passwords. Anyway, it was pretty fascinating.
No random letters or numbers.
In fact, nothing approaching any level of security protocol whatsoever.
Instead, it seemed to be words that reflected a family ‘trait’, an individual’s alter-ego or something mischievous that the creator forgot would have to be said out loud to the store assistant every time they rented a film.
I say this because as I looked at the boats, there seemed to be a similar approach to its naming protocol.
Of course a boat name is very different to a password, but for all the choices you have, many seemed to fall into certain groups.
+ Reference to life on ‘the high seas’.
+ An individual persons name.
+ A sea-reference pun.
+ Or a mark of achievement …
… of which, none was better than this.
For those who can’t read it properly, it’s called, ‘Dream Worked’.
I have to say, I bloody love it.
Of all the names I saw, this was arguably the most honest.
A statement that whether through hard work, luck or other means … their ambition to own a boat in LA had come off.
They’d done it.
Hit the goal.
I wanted to meet the owner. To hear their story. To understand their journey.
Was the boat the prize or a byproduct of it?
Maybe my interest in the boat was because we all like a good news story. Or because I like learning how – and why – people do stuff. Or maybe it’s simply because I’m approaching that point in life where you’re running out of time for dreams to work and so you’re questioning what you’ve done or still want to do.
This is not in any way trying to say I’ve suffered.
If I’m being honest, the life I live is beyond anything I could ever have imagined or hoped for. Probably more than my teachers imagined for me too.
But despite being 54, I still have a lot of ambitions.
Things I want to do.
Things I want to try.
Things I want to see.
Things I want to achieve.
However – as I’ve mentioned many times – the older you get, the more you realise not only will you not be able to do all of them, you won’t even be able to pursue all of them. You have to be more focused with your energy and time. You need to prioritize rather than chase down every rabbit hole.
Frankly, that part of growing older is shit especially as I’m someone whose entire bloody life has been chasing the intrigue, the possibility and the creative opportunity. But whether I like it or not, I’m slowly learning how important it is to be more measured in my choices if I want to keep moving forward rather than standing still.
Sure I’ve had to accept I’ll be working at a different pace than before.
Sure I’ve had to accept I’ll be working from a different place than before.
But it means I don’t have to accept what others expect me to do and frankly, that’s all the motivation I need.
However despite all this, growing older in your career does ask questions of you.
Uncomfortable questions.
You realise your relevance in the industry you work in is reducing.
Your abilities haven’t – quite the opposite – but their desire to hear or work with it has.
And it can feel like you’re being left behind when you’ve got so much still to give.
Like you’re screaming in a vacuum that no one gives a shit about, hahaha.
A while back I saw a quote from an ex-footballer than summed this up perfectly …
I get it. We all will at some point …
It really forces you to question who you are and what you’ve done.
And how you deal with it defines where you can go with it.
So while it was more luck than judgement, I consider myself very fucking lucky that I fell into a new chapter of my life … where I have got to learn, express and discover how my creativity can be used in new ways with incredibly talented new people … the best and most successful of the best and most successful … who, despite all they’ve achieved, value what you do and bring far more than who you are and what you have.
I’m under no illusion it could all end tomorrow, but it’s going great right now and the stuff I’m getting to do and be a part of is not just creatively exciting, it’s allowing my creative ambitions to flex and be pushed.
To be able to do that at any age is awesome, but to do it at 54 – alongside rockstars, fashion gods and creative legends – is fucking incredible.
Which is why I realized – as I walked around those boats in Marina Del Ray – that if I had a boat, I wouldn’t call it ‘Dream Worked’ … it would be ‘The Dreams Working’ … because to be at this point of life and still be able to look forward and see exciting possibilities rather than just look back at what you’ve done, feels like the greatest achievement of all.
___________________________________________________________________________
As an aside, today is the 3rd annual ‘Fuck Off And Pie’ Colenso Planner Bake-Off competition.
A time where, contrary to this post, I am reminded I’m the biggest failure of all time.
Or should I say the ‘silver medal’ biggest failure.
I’ll let you know if I maintain this standard or – god forbid – achieve gold loser status.
Given this years theme is ‘birthday cake’ I’m in with a shot and to be honest I like what I’ve done.
Not just in the fact it tastes pretty good – no, seriously – but because I’ve created a design and theme that will never be forgotten. Especially by our HR department. And probably by my colleagues and team mates who run the risk of spending Christmas with gastro. The gift that keeps on giving. Cue: Evil laugh.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Billionaire, Business, Colleagues, Comment, Contribution, Creativity, Culture, Distinction, Effectiveness, Emotion, Empathy, Equality, Imagination, Leadership, Loyalty, Management, Marketing, Relationships, Relevance, Reputation, Resonance, Sentimentality, Success, Teamwork
After the joy of yesterday’s post – which is more because of Otis celebrating his 10th birthday than anything I wrote – I thought I’d seize the good vibes by writing possibly the longest post I’ve ever written in the near 2 decades of writing this rubbish.
Of course I don’t assume anyone will read it – because who reads any of my stuff anyhow – but it is about an important lesson I learned recently and I wanted to document it – for me, if no one else.
So, one of the private clients I work with is worth an inconceivable amount of cash.
As in billions of dollars. Tens of them in fact.
Now I totally agree that having that amount of money is obscene, but what makes it easier – at least for me – is that:
They’re entirely self-made. They’re a true entrepreneur … taking on all the risk, rather than expecting others to cover it. They’re a patron and advocate for creativity. Not just in terms of their business, but creativity as a whole.
And if you think this all reads as being very ‘corporate toady’, you’d be right … because I am most definitely a fan.
But what’s interesting is how they make their money. Or should I say, how they create the conditions to be able to.
A few weeks ago, they asked me if I could fly to another country to meet someone for dinner.
Not just any person, but a bona-fide superstar. And no, I am not being hyperbolic.
Now there’s obviously a backstory as to how I found myself in this situation and why I was asked to do this by my client rather than [1] them or [2] someone more obvious and suitable – and the reason for it is more bonkers than you could imagine – but within a couple weeks, there I was, sitting opposite this world famous star, chatting about life while trying to act like it was all completely normal for me.
Of course, the person in question had done their homework so knew this meeting was legit, but at one point, they asked why I thought they should consider it.
After reinforcing I was the last person they should listen to, I simply said this:
“All I can tell you is everything they’ve done – and do – is built on wanting a long term relationship not a short term, quick-win”.
That was it. That was all I had.
Now there were 2 reasons I explained it this way.
One is because it’s true and the other is I wanted to convey that their ‘business model’ is playing the long game because it would be easy to assume anyone worth that amount of cash must be ruthless in how they operate and that could be very off-putting for someone who values their creative freedom and integrity.
What I mean when I say ‘long game’ is they invest in the individual, rather than ‘short-term opportunities’ … which means they not only are they happy to give the artists/partners the creative freedom – and control – that made them want to work with them in the first place, but they also don’t expect or demand a return on their investment in the shortest time possible because they see this as a relationship that will be measured in years, not projects.
Now, of course, there is method to this ‘modern-business-practice’ madness.
First is they believe that by investing in trust, transparency and relationship consistency, everyone will achieve a much greater return over a much longer period of time. Secondly is they obviously have no problem in knowing how to make money out of what they do so they know they’re not going to lose out being patient. And to top it all off, they’ve done a similar thing with many other high-profile celebrities/partners which – as they are all still engaged and involved years later – kind of proves they mean what they say.
Which leads to the point of this post.
Relationships matter.
I’m not talking about the sort where one person serves the whims and demands of another – which is how a lot of business today operates, especially in adland – but the type where the relationship acknowledges and values the skills, talent and benefits that each person brings to the table.
No short-changing or undermining. No downgrading or threatening. A relationship where the focus is on ‘what we can make create together’ rather than ‘what I you make out of you’.
How refreshing eh?
Except it shouldn’t be … it should be obvious, however thanks to procurement departments and corporate short-termism – we don’t see a lot of it these days.
At best, it’s a quick collab. At worst, its commercial exploitation.
In this case, my client wanted to work with this individual because they believe in them.
They like what they do.
They believe in how they think.
They’re excited by what can be made possible if they enable them to express their creativity at a different scale and through different art-forms than the ones they normally operate in.
But what makes this work is their appreciation of the artists mind.
The vulnerability of the creative process.
The need to explore before you commit.
The acknowledgement that when you try to create something no one has done before, it will fail before it wins.
And they’re there for it.
All of it.
They understand that to get to something great, the first step is to create an environment of encouragement and faith. Not just at the beginning of the process … but ongoing. Over and over again.
That doesn’t mean you pander. Nor does it mean you hold your opinions to yourself. But it does means you start off from a position of true alignment. Not just in terms of what your hopes and ambitions are, but how you want to realise them in terms of approach, expectations and responsibilities. Meaning everything you do comes from a position of shared responsibility and authority.
The other element is they also understand the adage of ‘it’s business, not personal’ is bullshit.
Business is personal.
Always.
The people who try to claim it isn’t are trying to justify bullshit behaviour.
It’s why my client spends a lot of their time connecting and committing to the other person. To make sure they’re not just in it together, but feel it.
Does that make ‘personal’ approach make things challenging at times?
Probably.
However by ensuring transparency and clarity from the beginning of the relationship – they not only build a relationship based on openness and honesty, they ensure the barriers that often get in the way of focusing on doing great things, get removed.
It all makes perfect sense, except we live in times where people choose to ignore it.
Preferring to optimise interactions.
To put themselves in positioning of authority.
To approach the relationship in terms of ‘what I can get out of them for the least amount of effort or loss of power’.
We’ve all met people like that.
Over the years I’ve had a bunch of people I’ve not heard from in years – or [thanks to Linkedin] never heard from in my life – get in contact wanting me to do something for them and I can literally feel the distain when I tell them, “I’m so sorry, I won’t be able to do that for you”.
I should clarify I have always tried to help people who ask for it … especially in terms of advice or a listening ear. However, when their ask is for me to connect them to friends, colleagues or clients for a shortcut to personal gain … unless they’re an old friend or someone I’ve had a long and personal experience of working with/alongside, they can fuck off.
It might sound harsh but I learned this the hard way.
One person in particular did this to me for a few times.
Continually contacting me under the guise of connecting with me but really wanting me to do something for them.
Contacts.
Introductions.
Feedback and advice.
And I did it, until I stopped.
Because I finally realised they were never contacting me for any other reason than to get something from me. They never just got in contact just to say hi. They never told me how my friends/colleagues had helped them. They never got back in touch to ‘ask me’ the questions they claimed they wanted to know – mainly because that was their ruse to get me to help them with other introductions.
I felt a bit stupid it took me so long, but I got there. And I cut them out my life because who needs that toxic shit.
And I get that sounds harsh, but I don’t care … especially as they still tried to use me until when the point they realised I wasn’t going to … so they went on a public rant about me that reinforced their ego, delusion and fragility.
Which gets to the final point of this post …
The word relationship is badly used, mis-defined and treated with ignorant flippancy.
It’s not about interactions or benefits, it’s about generosity, openness, understanding and trust.
You build it over time by investing and putting time into it.
Time to listen, share, discuss, engage, and give a shit.
It’s an act of consistency, equality and consideration … through good and bad.
And while I appreciate in these optimised, maximised, never-stray-from-the-process-or-rules, big-yourself-up-at-all-costs times, that may sound inefficient … but I have first hand proof, it’s much more effective.
In fact, it’s more effective than every marketing guru with their proprietary process/hyped-up, self-serving academic ‘degree’ – can ever imagine, let alone deliver.
Filed under: Birthday, Dad, Daddyhood, Emotion, Family, Jill, Love, Mum & Dad, Otis
Following the sadness of yesterday, today is pure joy.
I think Lisa would have absolutely loved that.
You see today, my brilliant boy – Otis – reaches a milestone …
He turns 10.
TEN!!!
Even though it seems only a few years ago he came into our life, he’s packed a hell-of-a-lot into his first decade.
Born in China.
Moved to LA.
Touched down in London.
And – it’s safe to say – thrived/thriving in Auckland, New Zealand.
But on top of all that change, he’s also dealt with a whole lot of challenges along the way.
Saying goodbye to his buddies …
Watching his Dad fall apart at the loss of his Mum …
Watching his beloved Rosie leave us …
Watching his Mum have a pretty big operation …
Go through his own operations.
Deal with a global pandemic and all the impact that had in terms of education, isolation and trepidation.
Then there’s been the new schools, new friends and – let’s not forget – the daily challenge of dealing with dysgraphia.
And while there’s definitely been some hard days, he approaches life with a level of kindness, compassion, curiousity, cheekiness and love that takes my breath away.
It’s all his Mum’s work and influence, but still … it’s incredible.
That doesn’t mean he’s naïve to the impact all these challenges have had – and continue to have – on him.
In fact, one of the things I’m proudest of is his emotional intelligence.
His ability to not just identify when he’s having a tough time, but to express it to others.
Of course it’s not easy hearing your kid tell you he’s feeling down, but I don’t take it for granted how fortunate I am that he does and that he feels he can.
It’s why I’m in awe of how his crew of mates are so supportive to each other and any challenge they’re facing or dealing with. That certainly wouldn’t have been the case back in my day – where it would have been used to taunt and tease mercilessly, even if not meant maliciousously – which is another reason why I hold more faith in Otis’ generation to make a positive difference to how we all live, than mine.
As you can probably tell by now, I could not be more proud of being Otis’ Dad.
Not just because he’s a great kid … not just because he’s my kid … but because he has made me a better person than I’d otherwise be.
They’re not empty words, I mean it.
OK, I wasn’t a total nightmare prior to him [I think], but he has definitely inspired me to be a better person.
More calm. More understanding. More compassionate. More open.
I appreciate some of my colleagues may raise their eyebrows in surprise reading this – or they would, if they read my rubbish – but as much as I may be a short-fused, temperamental, call-a-spade-a-fucking-shovel, challenging, confronting, emotional prick … I was a whole lot worse before, haha. That’s why I know if Mum and Dad had got to meet him, they wouldn’t just adore him from tip to toe for being their first grandchild, but because they’d see how he has been able to inspire me to be better in ways they never quite pulled off. [Sorry Mum and Dad]
Now kids ‘growing up so fast’ is nothing new.
But as I’ve written before, the reason parents can handle it is because at every stage of their kids ‘accelerated development’ they get introduced to a new trait they fall in love with … a trait so adorable that it helps them let go of the last trait they thought they could never live without.
Now some of these traits are ‘stereotypically cute’.
A smile.
A sound.
A reaction.
An evolutionary development. Or sometimes, something they just love to do … which in Otis’ case, was sweeping – be it the floors of home, cafes or even Shanghai streets. Which he has DEFINITELY grown out of. Unfortunately, ha.
But as they get older, these traits evolve in more ‘unique’ ways – and yet are still utterly adorable.
For example, right now Otis is in the ‘moments of cringe’ phase of his development. Or should I say, I am igniting that in him.
It could be because of a song I’m listening to … a program I’ve watched … a phrase I’ve said … but the result is him laughing his infectious, cheeky laugh and telling me how cringe that is.
And you know what? I love it and I think he loves it too because in a weird kinda way, it’s a bonding moment between us.
Something that’s ours and no one else.
But I also love it because it reveals his growing independence, evolution and frame of reference and surely, if there is any ‘marker’ for a parent to check if they’re doing their part OK, it’s that?
So to my wonderful, delightful, brilliant son, I say this.
Dear Otis.
Congratulations on hitting double digits – it’s a big moment in anyone’s life.
And while you may feel it’s taken you an age to get here, don’t wish things away too quick.
You’re a brilliant kid.
Not just in who you are, but how you are …
Stubborn on the right things, effervescent in everything else.
That’s about as perfect a combination as anyone could hope for …
It means you don’t spend so much of your time looking forwards you fail to see all you can squeeze out of the present.
The weird, the silly, the wonderful and the ridiculous.
That stuff matters.
Not just for enjoying now, but for getting the most out of the long life of double figures ahead.
So keep doing all you’re doing, because you’re playing it great.
The good, the bad, the happy and the hard.
Dealing with life with honesty and grace.
No arrogance or distain, just consideration and deliberation that belies your years.
A desire to do the right thing, even when you occasionally find yourself having done the wrong.
It’s an honourable way to live and we’re lucky to be witnesses to it.
So keep playing your own rhythm.
Don’t let others try and drown you out with their melodies and noise.
We’re so very proud of who you are and excited to see who you will become.
So enjoy those double digits, but don’t start acting quite like them yet.
There’s a lot for you to leave your mark on today, as well as tomorrow.
Happy birthday, dear Otis.
We love the hell out of you.
Mum and Dad
xxx
Filed under: Australia, Authenticity, Colenso, Colleagues, Comment, Creativity, Culture, Dad, Death, Emotion, Family, Fatherhood, Friendship, HSBC, Love, Loyalty, Management, Relationships, Relevance, Reputation, Resonance, Respect
As you read this, I am in Sydney for the memorial of Lisa – the wonderful client who tragically died recently.
It is believed there will be a lot of people attending.
I mean 4-figure levels of attendees … which is testimony to the impact she made on people.
While I didn’t know her long, we bonded pretty deeply and I saw first hand her ability to connect to people. It was in many ways, her superpower. Not in the sense it was some sort of manipulative trick, but in the sense she saw the good in others and wanted to help them realise it in ways they may not have seen was possible.
But she did it time and time again.
Different people.
Different cities.
Different jobs.
We need more people like that.
People who give rather than just take.
People who share rather than just keep.
People who view success as helping others achieve, not just elevating their own glory.
But what made her truly special was that she didn’t play down to populism, she lived up to a standard.
She wanted to do great, she wanted others to be great and she had the experience and taste to know what both were.
That’s the essential ingredient missing from so many people in the industry – especially the Linkedin guru’s – but she had it in her droves.
I’m still utterly distraught about her passing. We all are.
She didn’t just make the work better, she made you want to be better and as talents go, that’s a pretty amazing one.
Relationships are strange.
You can know some people for decades and not really be impacted by their presence and there’s some you can meet for what seems like a moment in time, and be impacted by them for years. Decades even.
Lisa was in the latter and that’s why, from a purely selfish level, I feel robbed.
Robbed of the time I was going to have with her.
Robbed of the conversations and lessons I’d have learned with her.
Robbed of the possibilities and opportunities I’d have created with her.
I appreciate it feels crass to say this when there are people who have lost so much more with her passing. My intention is not to offend and if I’ve done that, I apologies wholeheartedly. This is just my very clumsy attempt to say that if Lisa could make a relative stranger feel so strongly towards her – as a person and a professional – in just 4 short months, then I cannot imagine the sense of loss the people who knew her … worked with her … and loved her for much longer are feeling.
And to them, I offer my deepest and sincerest condolences.
She may be gone, but my god … she won’t be forgotten.
I’m back tomorrow to celebrate my dear Otis’ 10th birthday.
Death and birth …
A reminder the circle of life is real, even if it feels cruel.
And with that, I say goodbye and thank you to Lisa.
For everything you did and all that you were.
I feel very fortunate to have known you.
Rx
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Agency Culture, Apathy, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Comment, Complicity, Corporate Evil, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Mediocrity, Relevance, Reputation, Research, Resonance, Respect
This is a month or so old, but I am finding it impossible to get out of my mind.
Like a car crash. Which this is.
Have a look at this.
What you’re seeing is part of a research report a company put out recently in NZ.
Look at it. Look!
This is where a bunch of ‘for profit’ research companies are these days … spouting ambiguous rubbish that [I assume] they believe is insight gold.
What makes it worse is some companies will no doubt have read this … been amazed by it … and then paid them handsomely for more of this … resulting in everyone [and I mean everyone, bar the company flogging it] losing.
Not just losing in the present, but in the future.
Which begs the question, how bad/ignorant/blinkered/out-of-touch are some organisations that they’re ‘informed’ by this? Worse … how bad/ignorant/blinkered/out-of-touch are some organisations that they’re satisfied with this level of superficiality?
For me, this sort of thing is an act of social criminality.
Actually, that’s not harsh enough, it’s an act of commercial criminality.
And the reason people are getting away with it is because too many companies have leadership who value ‘scalable convenient answers’ rather than truth, context and real commercial understanding. Only wanting news that paints them and their plans in the most positive light, regardless of what the reality may be. In other words, they seek ‘information’ that feeds and/or reinforces their God-complex … and far too many companies are happy to oblige because it’s an extremely profitable business approach for them.
But even this isn’t enough for some, with many now aspiring to become their clients strategic consultancy … meaning the work they do is as much about their future as their clients … and that’s why I’m so grateful for the researchers and research companies who believe in the craft, role and truth of the discipline.
The people who want to reveal rather than package-up.
Who see people as more than just walking wallets.
Who understand nuance rather than the optimisisation of efficiency
[to maximise their own profitability].
Who look for the why, not just the what.
Who are more interesting in exploring truth than flogging their ‘proprietary system’ … which more often than not, involves using bots and AI that are – to paraphrase Top Gun – are writing cheques reality can’t cash.
In other words, I’m grateful for people/companies like Ruby Pseudo, ON ROAD and a few others who play up to a standard not down to a convenience.
Research is important as hell, but only if it’s good research and there’s far too much out there being peddled that falls far short of that standard. And that’s why the discipline – and us, as an industry as a whole – need to expect more, demand more and most importantly, respect real stuff more. Because witnessing mediocrity is one thing, but when we let it undermine what we do – and can do – is another thing altogether.