The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


The Post Where I Turn Into Gwyneth Paltrow x Oprah Winfrey x Paula Abdul …

So here we are. December.

9 days to my beloved son Otis’ 10th birthday.
18 days to the last blog post of 2024.
23 days to the festive season.
30 days to 2025.

Bloody hell. I mean … if I thought the last 11 months have gone fast, how quick are the next 30 days going to go? Worse, how quick will the gloriously long New Zealand summer holiday fly past.

ARGHHHHHH.

OK, before I wish everything away before I’ve had a chance to do it – and acknowledging I can’t write my ‘year in review’ post quite yet – I’m going to dedicate today’s post to my mob at Colenso.

Not Colenso – they will get that later – but my planning mob.

God they’re annoying.

A bunch of banter-loving, fault exposing, pricks.

But you know what else they are?

Smart, funny, caring, curious humans. All of them. Even the dodgy ones … of which there’s definitely more than one.

As I’ve written many times before, I’ve always been very lucky with the teams I’ve got to work with. Sure, there have been a couple who have been toxic wankers, but given I’ve been in this industry longer than dinosaurs, I take that as a massive win.

What I’ve loved about all of them is that rather than know interesting things, they’ve done – and do – interesting things. I adore that. I value that. I deeply respect their ability to jump head first into stuff and then naively tell me about what they did and what didn’t work in the naive belief I won’t hold it against them for the rest of their days.

They keep me young and make me old.
They teach me and frustrate me.
They challenge and want to be challenged.
But most of all, they give a fuck.

About the work.
The job.
The standards and each other.

That doesn’t mean it’s a love-fest, oh no … there’s competition. But when the chips are down, they’ll do whatever needs to be done to look after each other. And I mean that … because I’ve seen that. A lot.

Does this mean they’re perfect?

Hell no.

Can they be better at what they do?

Absofuckinglutely … but then, regardless who you are or however long you’ve been doing this, you can be.

Even Paula Bloodworth and she’s as near perfect as anyone I’ve ever met, let alone had the pleasure of working with.

But can you find a better bunch of humans?

Well that would be pushing it.

And the good thing about that is in my experience, the best people in this industry – by that, I mean those who consistently create the best work and ideas – tend to be great humans who just so happen to work in this industry.

They have varied lives, varied backgrounds and varied interests.

What makes them interesting is not simply how they think, but how they live in the world.

At a time where strategic thinking is seemingly being forced into an evermore formulaic approach, this gang of brilliant fools are all – in their own way – trying to break that apart.

It doesn’t always work. It doesn’t always go far enough. But where so many in the industry crave the comfort of the tropes and tribes of strategy, this bunch like to play in the messiness of life.

Or said another way …

They get that interesting lives lead to interesting thinking. Which is why they believe more in the power of creativity than whatever the latest framework, format or buzzword that is being banged on about on Linkedin by someone who has never made anything of note.

I love that about them.

I love we believe in a planning identify more than a process.

And we’re pretty good …

Good enough to have won Global Effies, Grand Prix’s and WARC awards.

Not as one offs, but on going.

Not bad for a teeny-tiny agency on the other side of the planet.

So to Martin, Meg, Gi, Augustine, Tobbi, Emma, Lizzie, T, Syd, James, Caitlin, newbie India – and not forgetting Amy – thank you. For being who you are, for turning down all the agencies who keep trying to hire you [oh I know which agencies you are and what you tried to do – cue: evil laugh ] … but most of all, for putting up with all my HR-violation shit.

Enjoy this, it literally will never happen again.

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Thank Goodness For Ridiculous …

Over the years I’ve written a bunch about weird colabs.

There was Prada and LG.
And of course, Ferrari and SanDisk.
Then the classic, ‘should ink stink’ of Montblanc and Perfume.

[Though since that post in ’07, Montblanc have evolved into more of a proper ‘lifestyle’ brand]

Anyway, there’s been loads, but it has felt that recently things have slowed down – or should I say, have become a bit more ‘logical’ – which is why I was kinda-ecstatic when I saw this.

Yes … it’s Coke Zero x Oreo.

In drink form [where it takes of Oreo] and in biscuit form [where it tastes of Coke Zero]

Now while I LOVE Coke Zero and used to love Oreo [can’t/don’t eat them anymore] … there is absolutely no reason why these 2 brands should come together.

Zero. Nada. Zilch.

And I can say, having tasted them [well, at least the drink version] I completely stand by that view … however that doesn’t mean I was not utterly thrilled when I saw them do it.

Now this is not simply because it’s all kinds of incredible that 2 of the most sugar-based brands in the history of the World have been able to create a product [at least in drink form] that has ZERO SUGAR in it … but because it’s the sort of madness that is being seen less and less in the world. And yet, it has captured the imagination – whether in terms of curiousity, aspiration or disgust.

Finally, something that provokes a real reaction in us.

Not ‘mildly pleasing’ or ‘generally nice’ but LOVE or HATE.

Fuck me, what a relief.

But it’s also a smart business move because as I wrote when Walkers launched their ‘mince pie’ flavoured crisps … it forces you to notice.

And while some may say, “being noticed means nothing if you’re noticing it because you hate it”, I’d say it still achieves a better return on investment than the approach of making everything so bland you don’t care, even when you see it.

Also known as current marketing practice philosophy.

So while I appreciate a limited edition is always going to provoke a response that is faster/greater than an established brand or product, it’s worth remembering – at this time where so many Effie submissions are being judged all over the world – that nothing drives commercial effectiveness like creative ridiculousness.

Or, to quote The KLF, if you want to win, ‘don’t give them what they want, give them something they’ll never forget’.

It’s not hard … we just make it that way because of ego, procurement, mediocrity or logic.

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Play To Be Proud, Not Just To Satisfy …

As many of you know, over the past 8 years, I’ve found myself working with a number of artists/musicians/bands on a whole bunch of projects.

The Black Keys.
Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Journey.
Metallica.
Muse.
Massive Attack.

Some have been one-offs assignments … some have been more long-term collaborations … some have been direct with the artists … some have been via their managers/record labels/third parties … but overall, bar the RHCP/Kiedis ‘experiment’, they’ve all been creatively challenging, fascinating, and fulfilling.

Now to be honest, there are many things I love about working with artists, however a couple of the things I love most are the questions they ask and the attitude they have towards what they want to do.

Their questions are never with an underlying agenda. Of course, I don’t doubt they’re capable of doing that … but I’ve never personally experienced it. Yet. Hahaha.

Personally, all I’ve ever heard are questions expressed with a genuine sense of curiosity behind them … a real desire and willingness to explore something that’s in their head and on their mind.

But more than that, there’s an openness to hearing what you think in response.

A willingness to discuss, debate and talk it out.

I think I’ve written about the first time I did a project for one artist who, frankly, hated what I’d done. Actually, hate is probably not a big enough word for how much they loathed it.

Not because it was wrong, but it was wrong for them in terms of their specific values, beliefs and approach to what they did.

Anyway, at the end of the meeting – thinking they were going to tell me this wasn’t working and we were going to ‘part ways’ – I asked, “so what should we do next?”

You can imagine my surprise when they responded with: “Well, now you’ve heard why we don’t like it, we assume you’ll take that into account with whatever you suggest we should do in your updated reccomendation .”

I was stunned. Not just by how they answered, but the impact their response had on me.

Because while they had made it very clear they didn’t like what I’d done, they made sure I understood their comment was purely in relation to the specific task I’d done rather than a judgement on my overall ability or approach. In fact they went further than that … through their choice of words, they actively showed their belief and support in who I am, what I do and what I could do for them that they may otherwise not be able to see or pull off.

Now let’s face it, it could have been so different.

We’re talking rockstars here, so its not hard to imagine that they could …

Dictate what I had to do.
Demand how I had to do it.
Dismiss my involvement and opinion.

… after all, we see clients try and pull that shit every single day. But instead, they let me walk away from a pretty bad meeting feeling confident, encouraged, inspired and ambitious.

For someone who has been doing this job for a very long time, I can tell you that meeting was up there with the very best experiences I’ve ever had with the very best clients I’ve ever worked with.

A sense of shared transparency, responsibility, ambition, expectation, standards and support.

And it’s a sense that has continued to this day, even though there’s been some more awful meetings in-between, haha.

But that’s not the point of this post …

You see I’ve recently started working with another artist.

An incredibly successful solo musician. A singers, singer – so to speak.

Anyway, I was involved in a meeting with them recently where they were discussing an opportunity, they’d been presented … and watching their thought-process as they decided whether they wanted to do it was amazing.

Halfway through the conversation, they said: “I don’t care if the audience are bored, I want to make sure I’m doing something that doesn’t bore me”.

Now I get that on face value, that can sound incredibly arrogant … but that isn’t the tone they said it in, nor was it what they meant.

What they were saying was they needed to find a way to make what they were being asked to do, interesting for themselves, because otherwise they could not work out why anyone would find what they did interesting.

In many ways, they could just turn up and people would be thrilled, but that’s not their approach, attitude or standard.

Of course, part of this explains why they are where they are … but it was a beautiful thing to witness.

Where so many brands seem to have an attitude of ‘minimum viable satisfaction’ [MVS], here was someone who felt praise was only worthy if they knew they’d done something they felt had been truly valuable to them too.

Not for ego.
Not for arrogance.
But for growth, fulfilment and expression.

Imagine if companies adopted that same attitude in what they did.

Some absolutely do. Most, sadly don’t.

Seeing effort as an obstacle rather than a door to incredible rewards.

Not just financial, but personal.

And while money makes the world go round, the key thing I’ve learned from the artists I’ve worked with is if you play repeat, you satisfy everyone but yourself.

Then you don’t even satisfy them either.

And that’s why for all the processes, systems, models and marketing practices being peddled and pushed, the foundation for a fulfilled future is being open to challenging yourself, rather than always playing to where you’re comfortable.

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Don’t Let Your Independence Become Someone Else’s Commodity …

I recently interviewed a successful artist.

What made them especially interesting to me was less their fame and more the fact they’d left a very popular group to go out on their own.

Not because they were ‘guaranteed’ success, but because they didn’t like how their management and record company dictated what they had to do.

As they told me the thinking that went into their decision, they said something I loved:

“Working for yourself is like being an artist in a studio. You’re free to create … you’re open to possibilities. Where most people have a dream, those with the lust to go out on their own stand the most chance of making their dream happen. Even if I failed, I would have felt good I had failed on my own terms”.

How good is that?!

Of course, I appreciate that when you’re successful it’s dead easy to say you would be OK to have failed … but I believed them.

Part of that is because they walked away from a very successful group. Part of that is they did in the knowledge their contract stated they would no longer be eligible for royalties. Part of that is before they launched their own career, they took time off to reclaim who they were. But most of all, I adore how they equated working for yourself as an artist who is in their own studio.

Despite having – and still – working for myself, I’d never thought of it that way and in the big scheme of things, the work I do for myself is the most indulgent, wonderful shit I have ever done. Not just in terms of freelance work, but in my whole career … and a lot of that has been pretty wonderfully indulgent.

But even with that, I looked at working for yourself much more in the way Michael Keaton looks at working for yourself …

Put simply, you love that you have more freedom, but you’re also aware you are the business … so every decision is weighted with more consideration or deliberation.

It’s why the two things that have helped me embrace what excites me rather than do what makes sense is Harrison Ford’s know the value of your value and the conversation I had with Metallica’s managers before I started working with them.

Now I say all this, but the fact is I also work for Colenso – however the reasons I did that were less about financial security and more about appreciating what makes me happy:

1. I need to work with people and build teams. I’m good at it, it makes me happy and I love seeing people grow and the reality is, when you work on your own, you rarely get the chance to do that.

2. Colenso is a place I’ve always loved and so to have the chance to work at a place that truly believes in creativity when so many just want to monetize any-old-shit was both hugely appealing and exciting.

3. They were totally open to me working a different way, which – for all the talk – few companies would ever consider, let alone allow.

4. When you work on your own, your development is more influenced by the projects and clients you work with, whereas when you are part of a team, your development is pushed and prodded every day. And I like that.

5. It offered us a chance to leave COVID-stricken Britain, even though within months … it hit NZ, ironically via the parents of a planner in my team. The second country brought to its knees by someone I’d managed. Oops.

So while I completely appreciate the privileged position I was in – and am in – the point is there was a lot of consideration about working on my own and working at Colenso … not just in terms of what I can gain but working out what I don’t want to lose.

Of course, there are going to be sacrifices along the way … but if you don’t think it through, you may find you’re running away from something rather than running towards something.

For me, that differentiation is a really important one to identify.

Don’t get me wrong, I get that sometimes you just have to escape the situation you’re in, regardless of where you’re going to end up.

I’ve experienced that situation twice in my life and it was horrible. Horrific even. And so getting away was real, urgent and necessary.

But I’m not talking about people in those situations, I’m talking about the folk who simply didn’t want to work for someone else. Didn’t want to deal with the expectations, the politics, the time pressures and the bullshit.

I get it.

I appreciate the appeal.

I basically covered it in a conversation with WARC back in 2020.

But there’s a major difference between not wanting to do things and creating the conditions to ensure you never have to do them and I’m surprised how often people haven’t done that.

Especially planners.

For example:
Do you know enough people at a high enough level who could be clients?
Do you have the experience that can command the rate you want/need to make?
Do you have the reputation that can protect you from commodification?
Do you have the expertise that ensures you don’t just shitty jobs no one else wants to do?
Do you have the network to ensure your abilities grow rather than stay where they are?
Do you have the commitment to keep learning and developing when it’s all dependent on you?

And while they may sound big questions, they’re not. Not really.

In many ways, they’re the difference between full independence and short-term escape.

I should point out I don’t mean this to sound like criticism.

I also don’t want this to be an obstacle to someone going out on their own.

My intent actually is the opposite. I want more people to prosper on their own terms … and by prosper, I don’t just mean financially, but also professionally and emotionally.

This is not because I am some wannabe Saint, it’s because it’s the only way creativity and strategy can regain the influence, credibility and power over the whims, wants and egos of agencies and companies.

Of course not all agencies and companies are like this … but sadly it seems more are than not.

And the more they try to commoditize the value of the independent professional – and boy, do they want to do that – the more we all end up paying the price.

Because suddenly people have to take whatever they can get.
Have to do whatever someone wants them to do.
Has to accept what someone wants to pay them.

I don’t blame them. Fuck, if I was in their situation, I’d do whatever it took – or whatever I could get – to put food on the table.

But it doesn’t have to be this way, or at least the odds can be improved if we – as an industry – talk more about how to think like an independent rather than talk about the benefits of it.

You see, while I love the sentiment of the artist I interviewed and their definition of ‘working for yourself’, I also deeply value the attitude of Michael Keaton. And maybe you need to embrace both to ensure you can be as free as you choose and be able to stay that way for as long as you want.

Because while the benefits of independence are very easy to see … it takes a fuckload of hard work to achieve it.

But it’s worth it. Or at least worth giving it the right shot to achieve it.

Just ask Zoe Scaman, Graham Douglas, Ruby Pseudo, Jason Bagley, Joy At Large.

And a million others who have done it. Not always the easiest way, but have done it.

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How A Bad Experience Revealed My Inner Meatloaf …

A few weeks ago, I told a private client I wasn’t going to work with them any more.

We hadn’t worked together very long, but while their team were great, this person wasn’t.

The basic issue was they thought they were paying me to be their servant.

Or more precisely, subservient.

It became very obvious very soon that they thought my job was to:

Agree with what they say.
Do whatever they want or demand.
Be quiet when stupid decisions were being made.

In essence, they thought they were God but unfortunately, I’m an atheist.

So I politely told them I wasn’t the person they needed right now and I wish them the best.

Before I go any further, I totally appreciate the privilege I have being able to do this, but this was never going to work.

They didn’t take it very well and wanted me to spell out why I was walking away.

So I calmly explained that for someone who had failed many times in an area where I had a lot of experience and success – they did not want to acknowledge, discuss or change any element of their approach which was objectively, flawed.

On one level I understood why.

This was their company and so to admit failure would mean having to admit they had failed. Or at least been complicit in it. And that’s hard. No one wants to do that. But I wasn’t doing it to make them feel bad, it was – as is always the case – because I wanted to win better.

Now the reality is for them to act this way towards me meant they had acted this way to others before me … and maybe that’s what this point they started to get pretty rude and personal. Given they were wealthy, they were probably used to getting their own way with companies who are fine with being paid well for complicity.

Now I am no Saint, far from it. I’ve made a cavalcade of bad choices and decisions over my time, which is why I won’t judge anyone who chose to accept their expectations – even if I do feel for whoever was told by their bosses to accept their shit – but, to paraphrase Meatloaf, I will do anything for great, I won’t do that.

No no no no no no no.

As I said, I completely get the privilege of being able to have this attitude.

In many ways, its the very definition of privilege on a multitude of levels.

And while I can’t defend that, for what it’s worth it’s one that has taken years to form – of which becoming a Dad has been a major factor – but I am at a point in my life where valuing my sanity, health, self-respect and whatever reputation I have, is worth more than any of their money.

Which, for me, is maybe a sign of success that I can genuinely feel proud of achieving.

I hope everyone gets the chance to do this.

Not just because of how good it feels, but because everything would be so much better with more honesty rather than ‘commercial harmony’.

[And yes, I know I’m living in delusional land, but it’s nice to dream]

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