The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Why The Answers Are Rarely Delivered In Words But Always Hidden In Plain Sight … [AKA: The Dangers Of Chasing And Communicating The Literal]

As many of you know, Otis has dysgraphia.

For those who don’t know what that is, it’s a condition that means – while his capacity to learn is the same as everyone else’s – the way he learns is different.

I’ve written about how his school has tried to accommodate him and how grateful we are for that, but the reality is – understandably – most schools are designed to cater to the masses, not the edge … so as much as Otis did well, it still meant he was being taught [and measured] to a standard more than his potential.

Anyway, this year – because he was due to change school having turned 11 – we decided to take the plunge and enroll him in a specialist creative school that follows an educational model that has been specifically designed for kids who have ability, but learn differently.

I am massively against private education, but within minutes of walking in – I got very emotional because I knew this is what he needed. What would help him thrive. Not to be better than others, but to be better for himself.

Within a few days of attendance, he proved we were right.

On about the 3rd day, he came home and told us why he knew this school was right for him.

It wasn’t because there’s only 90 kids in the entire school
[when previously there were 70 just in his class]
It wasn’t because the building feels more fun ad agency than place of studious education.
It wasn’t even because it’s next to a beach which the whole class goes to every day.

No, it was this: He doesn’t need to charge his laptop every day.

Now you may think that means he’s not doing much learning … but you’d be wrong. In fact, you couldn’t be more wrong.

You see, at his old school, all he ever did was use his computer.

Part of this was because dysgraphia affects your ability to write with a pen, so he did everything on a laptop. But the other part of this is because his teachers – in a bid to keep him busy while also needing to give attention to the rest of the class – gave him endless worksheets to fill in.

In essence, his education was more about data entry than learning.

That’s not a diss, we understand the situation they were in and were very grateful for the genuine interest in trying to help … however in just a few days, Otis has discovered what education really is about … what it really means … how it really feels.

And while he has stated he finds this harder … he’s not just happy about it, he’s happy about how he’s being encouraged to approach it.

Learn not follow.
Think not repeat.
Experience not reference.
Inclusive not exclusive.
Engaged not left to type.

Which is why the fact his computer only needs charging once-a-week rather than everyday is so noticeable and powerful.

Not just to him, but to his Mum and Dad as well.

It reminds me of the time I was doing a project for Coca-Cola in Indonesia.

We’d launched the Open Happiness work and I’d been sent to Indonesia to talk to kids about what optimism meant to them.

I remember talking to some kids – about 15 years old – when one of them took me to the other side of the street and pointed into the distance.

All I could see was a skyline filled with tall buildings and cranes that were building even more tall buildings so I asked him what I was supposed to be looking at.

“The cranes”, he said. “I’m seeing my future being built in front of my eyes”.

I loved it. I loved how they’d just communicated something pretty fluid and morpheus in a way that suddenly was clear-as-fuck. Something I didn’t just understand, but felt … while somehow also ensuring I was very aware of the context, conflict and challenge they’d gone through leading up to that point.

Like with Otis’ and his use of the battery % on his laptop to help me truly appreciate the journey he’d been on, the comment about the cranes made a lasting impression on me.

Which highlights a really important point.

People very rarely connect, project, express and see meaning in things in ways that reflect how we want them to communicate to us.

That doesn’t mean they lack ability, it means we lack the ability to translate them.

Some of that’s because we’ve become an industry that values convenience over nuance. Some of that’s because we’ve become an industry that values answers over understanding. Some of that’s because we’ve become an industry that values the functional not the emotional.
Some of that’s because we’ve become an industry that values what the clients want to say more than what the audience want to hear. Some of that’s because we’ve become an industry obsessed with the ‘science’ of marketing, not the people it’s for. But most of it’s because we’ve become an industry that places greater value on audiences repeating a specific set of words based on our communication than having them express its impact on them through their individual feelings, emotions and behaviours.

My son … and that kid in Indonesia … not only helped me understand what education and optimism meant to them in ways that no focus group or data set could ever achieve, but they gave me access into their world.

How they see it.
How they interpret it.
How they live within it.
How they cope inside of it.
How they hope to experience it.

The more we open our eyes and ears to what is going on in our audiences world – rather than focus on what we want them to specifically repeat in their world – the more we not only can make a bigger difference to our clients in the work we create, but the more our clients will make a bigger impact on the people they need.

Or as my friend Andy once said:

“Just because someone repeats what you want to hear, exactly as you want to hear it … doesn’t mean they believe a fucking word of it”.

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When You’re So Obsessed By Speed, You Fail To See What’s Happening Around You …

Do more.
Be faster.
Think quicker.
Create more.
Be more efficient.
Be more effective.
Give me more options.
Give me more answers.
Give me less questions.
Read my mind.
Do what I say.
Cut costs.
Cut time.
Go faster.
Deliver now.
Be agile.
Be ready.

Sound familiar?

What I find increasingly hilarious is that more often than not, the people who bark these demands are the opposite of ‘efficient’.

In fact, it seems the obsessive focus on speed is more to make up for time they’ve spent/wasted on indecisions … internal process … stake holder ‘management’ … or just not getting round to what needed to be done.

Look, I get stuff happens.
I also get we live in a fast-moving, competitive world.
But while there are times where speed can be a commercial advantage, what about quality???

Do I think everyone is like that?

No.

But by the same token, I’m increasingly hearing speed being talked about as the ‘goal’ rather than standards or quality.

It’s why there’s almost constant chatter about the need to embrace AI.
Or companies smashing themselves together to ‘increase efficiency and value’.
Or the creation of single creative groups, regardless they’re inhabited by talent born from agencies with totally different ethos and standards.

Maybe it’s because the people asking for this stuff – or selling this stuff – believe quality is inherent in their request and/or offer, however there’s 3 key issues with not openly talking quality:

It conveys speed is the ultimate priority.
It positions ‘care and craft’ as ‘nice to have’ but not necessary.
It minimizes the opportunity for an upfront conversation where issues regarding taste, standards, expectation and time can be discussed and aligned on.

This last point is especially important because the time allegedly ‘saved’ just getting on with stuff, often ends up taking even longer than if you’d been given the time to sweat the details in the first place, because what happens is the work is pants and it ends up in an endless review loop to confirm it.

Though there is an even worse scenario.

And that’s when the work gets approved and put out into the world … because then not only does it enter into the public domain, it hurts the brand, hurts the customers and hurts the industry as a whole. And if you think that doesn’t matter, then you’re revealing you may talk about customers, quality and value … but you haven’t got the faintest idea about any of them.

Increasingly the most important job in agency and clients is ‘quality control’ … but sadly, in both agency and clients, they’re no match for the allure of speed.

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Is Your Audience Research Designed To Create Prejudice ?

Recently I had to interview a relatively well known singer songerwriter.

While their major successes were in the 90’s, they’d always had a place in popular culture – albeit British culture.

I went into the call only knowing what I had read up about them and what I had thought about them when they were making hits … so while I was intrigued to chat, I wasn’t exactly sure how it was going to go.

Fortunately for me, I had a secret weapon and that was a Mum who had instilled in me to ‘always be interested in what others are interested in’.

What this means is your job is simple: listen to them and follow where they take you.

That doesn’t mean you can’t ask questions.
Nor does it mean you can’t challenge them when you feel their answers contradict each other.
However, rather than go into it looking for faults or specific answers, your focus is simply to understand how they think and see the world.

And I am so grateful for that because the conversation was amazing.

Not just in terms of what was discussed, but how much I understood and – even related – to many of the choices and decisions they made on their journey.

A reminder that whoever you are … whatever plans you have … or wherever you’re from … we’re all bumbling along trying to make sense of the stuff we experience and are exposed to, while trying to keep on some sort of path we feel we can manage or hope to navigate.

I came out of our chat with a totally different perspective of this indivudual – both as a musician and as a human.

More than that, it allowed me to look back on my perceptions and realise how much I had let prejudices, associations and media [mis]shape my point of view. Or said another way, how I had chosen to ‘tune out’ their reality and ‘tune in’ to the noise surrounding them.

Noise created by people who often didn’t know them and certainly didn’t know what they were going through.

We all have experienced a version of that in our life. Now imagine it on a national and international scale?

Which is why that chat not only helped me see their choices and career through an entirely different lens … it made me feel deeply ashamed of myself.

Of my prejudice.
Of my judgement.
Of my wasted energy.

And I told them and they were incredibly kind and gracious about it. Far more than I deserved, let alone expected … but I can honestly say, I now look at who they are and what they have done – and do – with deep respect rather than judgement or ridicule.

That doesn’t mean I suddenly love their music – I don’t – but I do now completley understand where it came from and what it represented. Especially to them. And that – ironically – has allowed me to connect to them as an artist and a human far more than I ever imagined was possible … amplified by their openness, warmth and willingness to be vulnerable about moments in their life that were most definitely not easy.

I say all this because I think where I started prior to the interview represents what our industry is doing day after day.

Relying on cherry-picked data points, shortcuts and convenient answers, rather than going out their way to truly understand the textured lives, perspectives and challenges of the audiences they want and need to connect and engage to.

What’s making this even worse is how many research companies are now outsourcing ‘data gathering’ to AI driven bots … reinforcing that business increasingly values speed, convenience and efficiency over depth of underrstanding.

And the result of all this?

False perceptions.
Self-interest driven solutions.
Increased category convention advertising.

Or, to sum it up even more devastatingly … Maxwell House idiocy thinking.

It’s why I’ve always seen strategy as an outdoor job more than a desk job.

It’s why I’ve put-out books about what society is thinking over what marketing is claiming.

It’s why I’ve always favoured working with people like On Road and Ruby Pseudo over the conglomerate research companies.

And finally, it’s why – when told by planners they don’t have time to go out and talk to people – I’ve said that even if they talk to 3 people in the streets, that’s likely 3 more than anyone else. Because as much as it is always the right thing to make time for more understanding, the point isn’t about scale of opinion, it’s about scale of the nuances you will discover … because when you’re open to that, you’ll not only learn how much you never knew, but see how much your creativity can now impact and achieve.

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Groundhog Day Was A Documentary …

A few weeks ago, I was writing the Colenso strat gang plan for 2026.

What we want to do.
What we want to change.
What we want to break.
What we want to create.

In doing that, I wanted to reference what we had experienced in 2025 against what mates at other agencies around the World had gone through. Not to compare necessarily, more to understand their perspective of what was happening.

Now, despite the fact I have a reputation for never being satisfied, I knew we’d had a pretty good year.

Not maybe by the measure others value, but by a lot of things I do.

Of course there’s things we can, should and need to improve – and we will – but overall, we’d built a foundation of interesting things that was good by any criteria.

Or so I thought …

You see, I spoke to a friend of mine in the US and when I told them some of the stuff we’d done, they kept saying …

“How did you make that much stuff?”

At first I thought they were either being kind or mistakenly believed that because NZ is so small, it’s impossible for the entire industry to produce more than one thing a year … but that wasn’t it at all.

Despite them working in America.
Despite them working in a big agency.
Despite them working on a massive client.
They’d produced nothing.

Nada.
Zero.
Zilch.

Actually, that’s not quite right … because they did tell me they had produced something.

In fact over 60 somethings …

Presentation decks.
For the same idea.
Which the client still didn’t buy.

Now you may assume with that many presentations, my friend is a fucking idiot. But you’d be wrong because she’s utterly brilliant. But – as I’ve written before – this is where we’re at these days. Endless presentations to endless people in endless departments just to get the smallest bit of work through.

But as mad as that is, it’s not as mad as this …

Despite no one making much work, they told me how everyone is as busy-as-fuck.

“Doing what?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I think they’re just creating, shuffling or editing papers”.

Now I’m not saying we’re immune from writing the odd needless presentation at Colenso …

Nor am I saying we’ve not beem asked to present the same deck to different ‘stakeholders’ within the same organisation a multitude of times over the years …

And if the reason for it is because the client spotted or questioned things in the agencies thinking that the agency hadn’t so they had to go back and keep updating it to re-present it … I get it.

But over 60 times?

For the same campaign?

That never moved forward?

If that’s the case, either the client is bad or the agency is.

Who is paying for this shit? Why are we letting this happen? It’s not just utterly inefficient, it’s utterly soul-destroying.

Worse, it also is completely destroying the value, reputation, purpose of our entire industry.

I get consultancies can operate this way – because ultimately, they get paid to offer advice rather than apply it – but we are an industry made for making, creating and doing.

That we are often positioned by business and procurement departments as ‘costly and unprofessional’ while they happily pay salaries to whole departments who never move anything forward or to consultancies who never take any responsibility blows my mind.

So while hearing the situation my friend found themselves could have made me look at the things we achieved in ’25 with a slightly more positive gaze, it served more as a cautionary tale. Because what we’re seeing is the marketing industry potentially turning more and more into the worst of the legal industry … where the goal isn’t to get the right result, but to keep the problem going.

Not because – as is the case with law – it keeps the money rolling in.

But because it keeps mediocrity feeling important and looking busy.

Hell, with this news, I may be nicer to my clients and colleagues from now on.

Emphasis on ‘may’. Hahaha.

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When Coffee Leaves A Very, Very, Very Bad Taste In Your Mouth …

It’s been a while since I’ve had a real rant, but this is going to be one.

So if you need a peaceful start to your week, look away – otherwise strap yourself in.

One of my real worries for the future o f our industry is not AI … it’s our lack of seriousness.

Before I go on, there’s a couple of things I need to clarify.

First, I am not advocating we add even more process, systems, data and/or logic in what we do – frankly, they’re increasingly becoming an obstacle to both creativity and commerciality as they increasingly view audiences [or worse, ‘consumers’] as walking wallets and the only aim is to bombard them at the moment of potential transaction.

Neither am I suggesting we should be treating all we do like we’re saving the planet with high-concept art. There may be cases where this approach is the right approach … but when I say a lack of seriousness, I mean it in terms of how we think about what we do, more than what we actually create.

For years, the ad industries ‘piece de resistance’ – The Super Bowl – has been a car crash for advertising and marketing. An endless stream of contrived, unsubtle – and often, unfunny – sponsored jokes that feature a production line of celebrities who are all willing to destroy their legacy for a dump-truck of cash being poured into their retirement pension plan.

It’s so depressing.

Sure, every year there’s one – maybe two – ads that really stand out. This year, for me, it was Manscaped … an ad that didn’t feature a celeb, had an actual idea and was actually related to the product they make. But even then, was it up there with 1984 … or Born of Fire? Probably not, but it was fun, memorable and – while not related to the Super Bowl per se – was made for the Super Bowl audience’s entertainment. As was Coin Base’s ‘karaoke’ spot … which, in terms of understanding the Super Bowl ‘ad break’ context they were in and the typical US audience mindset in that context … was a clever idea.

Look, I get how much pressure is in a Super Bowl spot. I’ve been there. It’s a fucking nightmare. There’s an almost endless amount of pressure placed on the work as every-man-and-their-dog adds more judgement, demands and mandatories … fearing their multi-million-dollar investment will be negatively judged by a global audience. And they’re right to worry about that … except the one thing they all seem to forget is the ad agency knows how to write and craft a spot better than all the C-Suite execs put together, so maybe if they let them get on with it, they’d have a higher chance of their work being loved rather than [at best] ignored or [at worse] openly mocked for how bad, contrived and/or embarrassing it is – thanks to either a terrible story/idea, endless and meaningless product features being crammed into the spot and/or the huge pointers in the script to make sure audiences get the gag, because they think people may be too stupid to get it. [When it’s more because they just won’t care]

All this data. All these systems. All this marketing science. And we’re actually getting worse.

And while I appreciate ad agencies have a lot to answer for, they’re not the only reason for this decline – but we’re not allowed to say that are we? Oh no.

We’re not allowed to talk about the impact of procurement departments.
We’re not allowed to talk about the lack of respect for marketing in companies.
We’re not allowed to talk about the dehumanization of people in the research.

And while you may think my tone is being influenced by it being a Monday morning, you’d be wrong – because it has nothing to do with it being the start of the week and everything to do with this:

What the fuck?

Seriously, what the actual fuck!?

And no, it is absolutely NOT an April Fool joke … which would still be bad, but make some sort of sense.

I thought the Ritz Cracker ad at the Super Bowl was possibly the worst thing I had ever seen [and if you haven’t seen it, I am so envious of you] … but I was wrong.

Who came up with this?

How the hell did it get through the endless committees, hierarchies and research?

And why – given the big PR announcements – are they so bloody proud about it?!!

Hell, even the infamous Kendall Jenner Pepsi ad had the good grace to only be tone-deaf and stupid for 40 seconds … but this? THIS???

It actually makes me angry. Properly angry.

Angry our industry is associated with it – even though it smacks of something an internal group at the client came up with or an outside agency who wanted to pander for more business. Angry they will claim this shows how much they ‘understand their customers’. Angry they think they’re sooooo clever and smart for it. Angry that an agency either came up with this or didn’t speak up about this. And angry this is what marketing has become.

Sure, we’ve all suggested some radical [read: daft] ideas down the years.

Name changes.
New product variants.
New category extensions.

But more often than not, they’ve either been killed or they’ve been done with a lot more care, craft and reality than this.

Maxwell Apartments?!
Maxwell fucking Apartments?!
What I find even more confusing is that the owners of Maxwell House – Kraft Heinz – have been so bloody good with their communication over the past few years – or at least Heinz have – which is why whoever sold this [or mandated this] should be both promoted and fired all within the same meeting.

And while I’m sure there’s some people out there that think I am being a snob … I have 5 things I want to end this post with.

1 I understand there may be reasons for this work only those involved would know and – if made public – may help explain why this approach was undertaken. [see: Mouldy Whopper]

2 I understand good intentions don’t always turn into good work for of a million different reasons. [So while I get my hatred may sting, it’s because I know no one intended this to happen]

3 I understand different cultures/audiences have different tastes and maybe I’m not either of them. [Though I did work on Maxwell House at Wieden, so I am aware of the brand and its audiences]

4 Ideas tend to represent the standard of creativity, company, colleague and agency that you’ve been exposed to in your life, and this one smacks of people blinkered by data, inhibited by corporate politics and/or residing in an echo-chamber bubble.

5 And finally – if you think I’m being an asshole – maybe if I tell you how I found out about this idea, you’ll realise I’m trying to encourage us to aim higher, because not only does our industry need it, I know we are more than capable of doing it. You see, I learned of this work – which has been in market since Sept 2025 – from watching a ‘news blooper’ … a news blooper where the TV presenters found it so fucking stupid, they couldn’t stop laughing at it. On air. That’s right, people who are paid to keep a neutral face – whether announcing the best or worst of humanity – couldn’t keep a straight face about this. Not because they loved it, but because they were openly mocking it.

Maybe it made sense at the time.

Maybe everyone involved was suffering an unknown illness.

Or maybe they need better people or a better work culture where this sort of thing can be stopped because people can speak up without being put down so you don’t make newsreaders and the World think you’ve left them with the worst possible taste in their mouth.

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