As it’s the end of the week, I thought I’d send us off into the weekend on a positive.
Admittedly, a positive for me, but hopefully the joy will spread to you in some way.
So as I wrote about a few weeks ago, I lost my wedding ring. I have no idea where or how, but having walked the streets, gone through the bins and checked the newspapers – I had to accept it had gone once and for all.
Obviously, I was devastated – made even harder by the fact it was made by fusing my Dad’s wedding ring [one of the only things I had from him] with the one Jill gave me on our wedding day to create something both deeply personal and very sentimental.
However, while I wish it had not gone, I’ve been able to find a way to move forward by creating something new.
And old.
You see, because I’d lost a lot of weight, I’d needed the ring to be resized a few months ago and as part of that, I’d been given a bit of Dad’s wedding ring that had been cut away.
That little bit has been able to be reused in the creation of the new ring which Jill added to, by giving me some teeny, tiny fragments from her original wedding ring that she had redesigned a few years ago.
And to make things as perfect as they can be, it was all crafted by the jeweller who took Dad’s and my wedding ring to turn it into something very special and unique for me.
Of course, it’s not the same as the one I sadly lost, but it’s also an extension of it – which not only makes me feel very lucky, it also helps me feel ‘whole’ again.
How crazy is it that because I lost weight, I was able to still have a bit of Dad’s ring still. And how brilliant is it that my wife thought of a way to connect it back to our original special day.
Amazing.
Though I’ll be considering supergluing it to my finger because even though it was a mistake – and my family were nothing but loving and supportive about it – the feeling I let them down by being careless still stings. Albeit this new version soothes the pain of that a lot.
Not because there’s much financial value, but the human value is priceless.
Have a great weekend, I know I will.
Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Auckland, Colenso, Colleagues, Comment, Fast Food, Food, Happiness, Health, India, Pizza
As many of you know, I’ve been on a health kick for about 18 months or so and in that time, I’ve managed to lose over 47kg.
Despite that …
Despite being very careful with what I eat.
Despite me noting down in an app every single item I put in my gob.
I never am in doubt how easily I could go back.
Maybe not to what I was, but definitely far from where I am.
Of course I allow myself some treats every now and then …
I have a whole loaf of sourdough, salted butter and jam on my birthday for example.
And now – when I go out for an occasional nice dinner – I may actually have things I enjoy rather than denying myself, in the knowledge it won’t happen very often.
But a few weeks ago, I found myself working late and needed dinner. If I’m being honest, it’s been A LONG TIME since I’ve grabbed food while working in the office … but I had my brilliant colleague, India, with me and we’d been talking about a place up the road that owns another place which serves some of the best pizza I’ve ever had.
EVER. HAD.
So off we went to Farina to go get some pies before we sat down to some late night work.
In my defense, I’d basically eaten nothing the whole day, so I was starving.
Plus I knew we had hours of work ahead of us and it was a cold, rainy night.
But while that is all contextual evidence, it doesn’t hide the fact that as soon as we were handed our pizza boxes and stepped out of the restaurant … this is what happened.
Yep, I was into it like a shark in a kids paddling pool.
Worse, I almost cried when I had fully demolished it.
Not just because it was so good – and it was SOOOOOO good – but because, like a shark who had tasted blood – my body had been reminded how fucking great ‘not-so-great-food-for-you’ is and I have to talk myself every day from going in and having another.
I don’t.
But I could.
Which is why when people talk about losing weight, the reality is that’s the easy part … it’s keeping the fucker off that’s the hardest thing. And that delicious circle of pepperoni pizza I shoved down my gob in the blink of an eye reminded me both how well I’ve been doing, but also how easily I could give it all up if I let myself.
And given Farina is 5 minutes walk from the office, that means I am currently the strongest man in the World.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Community, Context, Creativity, Culture, Emotion, Empathy, Happiness, Harmony, Humanity, Inclusion, Japan, Love, Perspective, Resonance, Respect
Over the years, my wife has told me all she wants me to do is listen to her when she faces challenges, rather than try and fix them for her.
I suspect she is not the only woman who has had this conversation with a man.
And while she knows the reason we do it is out of love, she finds it annoying-as-fuck.
Fortunately we’ve been together so long that its finally got in my thick skull, hence I now listen rather than automatically run to ‘fix’ mode.
The point of this is that I think a lot of advertising needs to adopt this trait.
Too often we think we can solve everything.
Marketing.
Politics.
Poverty.
World hunger.
You name it, our ego believes it can solve it.
But there’s something quite magical in embracing problems rather than trying to solve – or go around them.
Sure, we’re paid to help clients move forward … but that doesn’t always have to be from tackling issues head-on … sometimes, it comes from realizing some problems don’t – or can’t – be solved.
Recently I read something that embodies this perfectly.
A ‘solution’ that doesn’t fix the issue, but deals with it with dignity and grace.
It’s not unique, I’ve seen things like this before and have written about some in the past … but where they tended to be addressing issues in a private environment – such as care homes and parks in the Netherlands – this is something where the public are actively encouraged to be part of the solution.
Except it’s more than that.
Because they benefit as well.
In connection. In understanding and – at a time where there seems to be less of it about – in humanity.
It’s not just magical and beautiful, it’s important. For everyone.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Bird, Bonnie, Cats, Comment, Family, Happiness, Home, Jill, Love, Loyalty, Mum, Mum & Dad, My Childhood, Otis, Rosie, Sky
I’m back.
But I barely survived.
Part of that is because my trip was full-on.
The other part is having a puppy is even more full-on.
Seriously, it’s like having a baby all over again. Fortunately, we loved that period of our life so it’s not too bad … but bloody hell, it’s also pretty demanding.
A few months ago, I wrote about how people in agencies should be taught ‘the art of conflict management‘ … but now I think the other skill we should all be taught is puppy training.
If that doesn’t teach you how to be patient and calm when facing a barrage of noise and needs, nothing will.
That, or go work in China, hahaha.
That said, it is lovely having a pet in the house again. As I wrote before, while Rosie was a small cat, she filled the house with her presence and personality – and while we still have had Otis’, Sky, over these months, it hasn’t been quite the same.
But now, with Bonnie, the house has a new energy in it.
Sure, it’s slightly manic and lacking any degree of peace … but that’s a small price to pay to have life bubbling again. No wonder my Mum loved it when I came home to visit her. Not just because she was very happy to see me, but because my friends would come around and suddenly the place was a bustle of noise and laughter … a rewind to what daily life was like when Dad and I were around.
I get it. I just wish I could tell her that I do.
What’s interesting is we didn’t meet our dog until we picked her up … so we were totally reliant on the breeder being smart with her recommendation. Not because we were being picky about its looks … but because in addition to being a family pet, she has to be a trained support dog for Otis, hence temperament is key.
Thanks to the training she’s received from the breeder – and us – so far, it’s been good, but like Rosie it will definitely take some time until we find our own unique rhythm.
Finding the rhythm is a magical thing.
Some of it comes from ritual. Some from the environment. But most of it comes from the interactions you have and keep having together.
But when you find it, it’s special because it evolves into a sort-of invisible bridge where you can come together in the middle … with the knowledge to understand the unsaid. To interpret different sounds and signs.
It’s why that quote at the top of the page made such an impact on me when I read it.
A reminder that one of the most powerful ways to know how much someone has impacted you, is to look for those traits in others. Not so they become who someone was, but because they show you the best you can be.
So welcome Bonnie. Thank you for what you’ve given us already.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Canada, China, Colleagues, Context, Culture, Empathy, Friendship, Happiness, Jill, Otis, Paul, Relationships, Relevance, Respect, Travel
I’ve written a lot over the years about the gift of living overseas.
I’ve talked about how I totally understand why people worry about what they’ll miss … but they should also think about what they’ll gain.
I’ve highlighted how I owe everything in my life – bar my relationship with Paul – to me living and working overseas.
Everything.
My wife.
My son.
My cat.
My career.
My whole life.
I don’t say that lightly … and I don’t ignore the fact I’ve also faced things I’ve missed and miss … but overall, it’s an amazing gift the World has given me.
Recently I was given another reminder of how wonderful it is.
I was in Edmonton, in Northern Canada.
It’s the most northern city in the World with a population of 1 million.
I’d never been there before. I’d never even heard of it before. But there I was … in a wonderful restaurant called Ridge Rd, with some clients … when I received this:
It’s a message from someone I knew in China. Someone I last spoke to probably 10+ years ago. But here I was, in a city I’d never been to – far from pretty much every other city I’d been – having an old friend say they were there too. I can’t tell you how lovely that was. How wonderful that an isolated city had brought me closer to someone from my past.
Now you may think that’s kinda-crazy, and I guess it is … but it’s happened before.
It happened when I took my Mum to the North Pole to see the Northern Lights.
It happened when I was in a small town in Brazil.
It happened when I was in Russia.
It happened when I was in Finland.
It has happened a lot because I’ve lived in a lot of countries … and every single time, it’s made me feel incredibly fortunate for the experiences, places and people it has brought into my life.
I get it’s a privilege and I don’t take that for granted.
But that privilege is far more than simply being able to live in different countries or earn different amounts of money – if you’re lucky. It’s about the ability to connect to different people, cultures and contexts. Their backgrounds, their viewpoints, their ambitions, their fears, their issues, their opportunities, their hopes, their references, their perspectives … that’s what the privilege is really about.
It makes you a bigger and better person for it.
Not just in terms of your own knowledge, but your own place in the world.
Which is why, when I got that random SMS from someone I knew in China while sat in a small restaurant in a small city in Northern Canada, I was so happy. Because that could only happen because I said ‘yes’ to opportunities when arguably, it would have been easier to say no.
I get it’s hard. I get not everyone has that chance.
But if you do, grab it. Because nothing lets you feel you’re living life than hearing from people you would have otherwise never met in places you never imagined you would ever go.