Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Awards, Cunning, Devious Strategy, EvilGenius
No, the title of that post is not wrong.
I have recently been informed that I’ve been named one of the top 10 leaders of 2021.
How good is that?
I cannot tell you how happy and proud I am at receiving this accolade.
Unfortunately, it’s for an industry I don’t work in … by a ‘magazine’ I’ve never heard of … with an award that no one cares about.
That’s right … it’s another one of those dodgy awards, like the ones we used to get for cynic, despite the company having closed – where someone who describes themselves as a ‘magazine editor’ then asks for money so they can feature the accolade they bestowed on you, in their own magazine.
So basically it’s a scam.
But beggars can’t be choosers – especially when your iPhone tells you each of your passwords has been involved in countless data breaches – so I felt I should honour the accolade by writing back to the magazine with this …
_________________________________________________________________________
“What an email to receive.
I cannot tell you what this means to me. I have already ordered all my stationary to be updated to include this accolade.
Please can you tell me what happens next?
Do you fly me to wherever you are to pick it up?
Will you cover flight and hotel costs?
Can I bring my family?
Can I approach security companies with an offer of me being a social media influencer?
I may be in security but you have stolen my heart with this news.
Thank you, thank you, thank you … I cannot wait to hear more”.
_________________________________________________________________________
So far, I’ve heard nothing.
But I have my fingers crossed.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Communication Strategy, Confidence, Cunning, Design, EvilGenius, Marketing, New Zealand, Standards
So recently I went to a semi-posh restaurant in Auckland with some clients.
I know this is too much info, but I needed the loo and off I went.
As I walked in, I saw this …
How brilliant is that?!
I bloody loved it and actually burst out laughing.
Fortunately I was able to take a photo without someone walking in and then rushing out to call the Police … but I can imagine Alpha Males seeing this and claiming it is a blatant attack on their human rights. Which – if you ask me – makes it even more perfect.
Of course, whether a restaurant should be happy one of their customers is raving over the interior design of their male loos rather than their food is another thing altogether … but hey, at least I’m raving about something of theirs.
Many companies talk about how brand experience, well … when you make sure your loo leaves a lasting impression on customers for all the right reasons, then you can say you really understand what experience really means.
Not many can.
🔎 🍆
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Chaos, Comment, Content, Context, EvilGenius, Experience
Of all the types of revenge you can get, petty revenge is one of my favourites.
The beauty of it is that it’s petty. Meaning it’s for something the aggressor doesn’t even realise they have done. At least not until they experience the act of revenge.
The other wonderful thing is that the pettiness often extends to the act of revenge.
In most cases it’s about forcing some sort of ‘inconvenience’ upon the victim … even if organising it took longer than the actual inconvenience lasted.
It’s why the question asked of many revenge makers is, “was it worth all that time just to do that?”
And almost universally, the answer is “yes … it most definitely was”.
Over the years I’ve embarked on a reign of petty revenge terror. Seeking to even the score against people who have either inadvertently- or consciously – tried to fuck me or a mate over.
This has resulted in all manner of acts.
From stealing a single wheel from their desk chair so it was annoyingly lopsided … to having stickers printed so I could put the word “last” over all their out-of-date ‘agency of the year’ posters … to placing a ‘honk if you hate the police’ bumper sticker to the back of their car to having badges made that said “I’m a sexist twat” that we sent to every male boss who had harassed my female friends to – in the very old days – changing the keys around on their laptops in the knowledge they couldn’t touch type so every time they wrote words like ‘they’, it would type a very different word.
I would like to point out 3 things:
1. They all deserved it.
2. This was all a very, very long time ago.
3. I’m much more sensible these days.
Well, I say that, but when we lived in London, a neighbour denied they had taken delivery of my Amazon order – despite me being sent photographic evidence of them accepting it – so I spent 2 days signing them up to every catalogue I could find and I hope they’re still getting them. I added a nice touch by addressing it to, ‘Ima Lyer-Antheef’.
But compared to my friends, I’m still an amateur. The stuff they’ve done is incredible in it’s pettiness and time consumption.
There’s one involving a famous cereal manufacturer – that I can only say when on my death bed – that still raises a smile even though it occurred 16 years ago.
But all that pales into insignificance compared to this …
They say heroes wear capes.
Well sometimes they wear their pettiness on their sleeve.
All bow down to a true master at work. Bravo. Bravo. Bravo.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Colenso, Comment, Cunning, EvilGenius, Planning, Point Of View, Presenting, Resonance, Respect
Some people say planners are a waste of space.
That they don’t know what they’re doing.
That they have egos is writing cheques, their talent can’t cash.
To be fair, there’s a lot of truth in all of that.
But recently I came across a bit of planner genius that deserves applause.
Have a look at this …
The handsome bastard in the photo is Henry.
Henry is one of the brilliant planners in my gang.
And while his brain can take you to places normal minds can’t see, let alone reach, I can’t help but think that as subliminal cues go … showing a client your thinking while standing under a light bulb – to reinforce “this is a brilliant idea, you must approve it immediately” – is next level impressive.
Well done Henry, you have single handedly make planners ask their agencies for lightbulbs to be hung down in meeting rooms all over the world.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Apathy, Apple, Attitude & Aptitude, Brand Suicide, Comment, Corporate Evil, Creativity, Culture, Digital, Egovertising, EvilGenius, Fake Attitude, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Politics, Relevance, Social Commentary, Social Divide, Technology
OK, I should point out I actually think the Metaverse has incredible potential.
It could revolutionise education, medicine and ignite the creation of industries that don’t even exist yet. Which is why I am still utterly baffled why Zuckerberg thought the best way to sell the technology was by putting out that utterly shit video … where you saw him and his ‘mates’ not only do things that are all possible right now, but were worse in terms of quality, creativity and interactivity.
And then I saw this picture and everything became clear …
Maybe Zuck doesn’t give a damn about the Metaverse.
Maybe he doesn’t want to help humanity evolve and develop.
Maybe the only reason he’s doing it is for the same reason a lot of conmen do things …
Because when you can distract your target, you can rob them when they’re not looking.
Now before Mr Z’s lawyers try and sue me for every penny I’ve got for saying that, I would like to point out two things.
1. I said ‘maybe’ …
That means I am absolutely not suggesting Mr Zuckerberg is a conman or only doing Metaverse for conman purposes. I am only suggesting that could be possible, however unlikely that is. Similar to me saying I could be a catwalk model.
2. Be honest. That photo is very, very creepy.
Whoever allowed that photo to get out at Facebook … I mean Meta … was either an idiot or a hero. Because when I look at that photo, I can’t help but think of this ad … except with a totally different ending.
Rather than everyone being saved in the nick of time – thanks to the hero coming in at the last moment and destroying the screen that is hypnotising and blinding the audience so they follow the words of evil – no one comes to save them, so evil walks past all of his hypnotised and blinded victims, smiling to himself that’s he got them exactly where he wants them.