Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Australia, Comment, Corporate Evil, Customer Service, Marketing Fail
So as any poor, regular reader on here knows, I’ve been getting emails from APAC Insider magazine saying that Cynic was in the running for a Business Excellence Award in Australia.
Now while this is flattering, you’ll also know that Cynic legally closed their doors in 2010 so APAC Insider are basically a bunch of con-merchants.
Well, now I have unequivocal proof of it because – as I suspected we would – we won.
Yep, Cynic – a company that has not been in legal existence for SEVEN YEARS – has won a Business Excellence Award.
Now they may claim our excellence is in the fact we sold the company, but frankly, this would have been more believable if they’d not left a 7 year gap before bestowing us with their award.
But that’s all by-the-by because I know what you want to know what we won.
Is it a massive trophy?
Is it a huge cheque?
Is it a staring role at a lavish ceremony?
No, it’s this …
That’s right, our ‘prize’ is the chance to get a discount to advertise in their magazine.
A magazine that gives out prizes to companies that don’t exist anymore.
A magazine no one has heard of.
Oh hang on, they also give you a ‘digital certificate’ that you can put on your website. Oh that’s alright then … I mean, who wouldn’t want to advertise a bullshit magazine’s award on their website that basically say’s We’re a bunch of gullible fools.
I hate this company … I hate what they are trying to do to small business.
Sure, the small companies might have some blame to share if they do it, but as I wrote a while ago, when you’re just starting out, you are so desperate to feel you are moving forwards, you tend to grasp onto anything that feels like a positive step.
That’s what those fucks at APAC Insider magazine are exploiting and managing to get away with it.
But there is some good news because last week I received an email from them expressing their interest in being nominated for the International Magazine Publishers ‘Promotion of the Year’, so maybe they’ll be learning their lesson more quickly than we all hoped.
And I’ll be there applauding them when they get their moment in the spotlight.
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fuckers.
Comment by andy@cynic August 16, 2017 @ 6:19 amwheres roger cook and estha fucking ranzen when you need them.
Comment by andy@cynic August 16, 2017 @ 6:20 amNah, get them on Disruption and Media Arts, that’s far more fraudulent
Comment by northern August 16, 2017 @ 6:26 amI like to see the venom is still there, despite choosing to wear pink cycle shoes.
Comment by Rob August 16, 2017 @ 7:56 amYou’re in no position to comment an anyone’s sartorial choices
Comment by northern August 16, 2017 @ 8:29 amIn many ways, it’s the logical conclusion of the awards circuit
Comment by northern August 16, 2017 @ 6:25 amPay a fortune to win meaningless gongs no one cares about who really matters to business growth
Taking advantage of smaller agencies who are desperate for some traction
Etc
Watch out for fake model agencies Rob while you’re at it, don’t let your new tech help success go to your head
It’s physically impossible for anything to make Rob’s head get any bigger.
Comment by DH August 16, 2017 @ 6:27 amPay to win. Sounds like FIFA.
Comment by DH August 16, 2017 @ 6:28 amOr conservative MP’s.
Comment by Rob August 16, 2017 @ 7:56 amI met Esther Rantzen once by the way, best dressing down from a client I ever got
Comment by northern August 16, 2017 @ 6:28 amwhat the fuck were you working on?
Comment by andy@cynic August 16, 2017 @ 6:38 amChildline would you believe. She rightly called us out on wanting to win awards rather than help
Comment by northern August 16, 2017 @ 8:28 amThey value their front cover like it’s Vogue.
Comment by Bazza August 16, 2017 @ 6:37 ammore like vague.
Comment by andy@cynic August 16, 2017 @ 6:38 amOn the other hand, an agency that closed down seven years ago is probably the best one for an Australian business to work with.
Comment by John August 16, 2017 @ 6:56 amFor once Robert, I fully endorse your act of revenge. Totally deserved.
Comment by Lee Hill August 16, 2017 @ 7:01 amThat’s all the validation I needed.
Comment by Rob August 16, 2017 @ 7:57 amI don’t think my validation would make the slightest bit of difference to your choices Robert.
Comment by Lee Hill August 16, 2017 @ 8:17 amYou should follow the magazine to discover which small businesses fell for their scam and then direct them to this post.
Comment by George August 16, 2017 @ 7:49 amThat is a great idea.
Comment by Rob August 16, 2017 @ 7:56 amThe ones that started as big businesses?
Comment by John August 16, 2017 @ 9:05 amIt reminds me of China, where you could buy a certificate from the Government to say you were a ‘Famous Brand’.
Comment by Ian Gee August 16, 2017 @ 7:48 pm[…] Which all says to me that the owners of Photologo are the most insane people I’ve ever ‘met’ and I can only assume that the people who convinced them this was a good idea also own APAC Insider Magazine. […]
Pingback by When Marketing Is Nothing More Ego And Delusion … | The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!] November 9, 2017 @ 6:17 amwell i can certainly relate with the feeling of not feeling forward as a small buisness & their email felt ‘heartwarming’ , wow, i struggled during the lockdown but still am in running for an award.
Comment by zasami February 22, 2021 @ 12:11 pm