Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Crap Campaigns In History, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Planners Making A Complete Tit Of Themselves And Bless, Planning
Well that was quite a week.
Otis is doing OK.
He’s feeling much better and we’re hugely relieved.
Even though the risk of kids suffering severe health issues due to corona is very small, seeing your child not well is always hard – made 10,000 worse with the media all revelling in making it sound like the bloody plague.
That said, it means we are in quarantine for another fortnight, but them so is the whole country.
Fortunately Jill and I don’t look like we have caught anything, but then it’s a 2 week incubation so who knows.
On the positive, if I do, it will mean I’ve hit the virus jackpot – which is something to be proud about. Maybe.
So back to the title of this post.
Scarily, it’s entirely accurate.
To be honest, I’ve been in quite a few ads in my time.
Blackcurrant Tango.
Triple J.
Even a Nike spot.
But never have I been one of ‘the stars’ … but I am now.
Take a look at this.
The best bit is this ad was seen by someone in Portugal who was as shocked to see me in it as I was when to find myself in it. Though I note they used a photo that doesn’t really show my face … which is obviously very wise indeed, but not quite as wise as it would have been to not invite me to talk with Mr Gladwell in the first place.
Which was going to be my long way of saying this is the last post for a week but Corona Virus screwed with the conference so now you will see me on Monday.
And you thought the effects of Corona couldn’t be any worse!
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, America, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Brand, Brand Suicide, Chaos, Comment, Communication Strategy, Confidence, Corporate Evil, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Creativity, Culture, Customer Service, Daily Mail, Emotion, Empathy, England, Equality, Family, Guns, Home, Human Goodness, Insight, London, Love, Loyalty, Luxury, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Packaging, Parents, Perspective, Relationships, Relevance, Resonance, Social Divide, Standards, Unfair Life, United Nations, Wankers
So today, I start working from home due to the devastating spread of corona virus.
As someone who has lived through SARS, avian and swine flu, you’d think I would be fine with it … but the way the government and media have responded, I have to say has left me on edge.
It feels like 28 Days Later – as we hide, hoping the invisible virus won’t get us while looking suspiciously at anyone who is outside or has a casual sneeze.
Personally I don’t think the government are taking it seriously enough.
I also think a lot of people are being way too blase about it.
But what’s worse is that while many of us are going to be inconvenienced, the elderly, the homeless, the single parents, the temporary workers, the unemployed and the small business owners are going to face a horrific time and no one seems to be creating plans for how they can cope.
I’m addition, it’s showing the worst of society.
From that fat, lying, cheating bastard who is the President of America – to the rapid increase in gun purchase in the USA [seriously, WTF?] to the disgusting locust like behaviour going on in across supermarkets all over the World.
I tell you what, any of these people who ever negatively judged immigrants, refugees or boat people better not do that from now on.
Though what’s the betting they’ll claim their situation is different.
I guess they’re right.
Refugees, migrants and boat people are trying not to die. They’re just trying to continue living in comfort and wipe their arse with 3-ply.
But through it all there have been signs of humanity showing their best side.
Coming together.
Uniting.
Looking out for others.
From the wonderful singing that is happening on balconies across Italy to Waitrose making sure all small business suppliers are paid the next day to LVMH doing this …
Given there are some companies you’d expect to jump to societies help who are acting like absolute wankers, it’s even more amazing LVMH are acting so swiftly and generously.
When this all passes, some companies will discover profit before people ends up costing them profit and people.
It’s a strange time but we will get through it – but what will make it better is if we can find ways to help those who feel left behind.
I’m working on something and there’s options already in place for the elderly – like this – but if you have more ideas, please let me know.
Most of all, look after yourself.
So far, 2020 has a lot to improve on.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Brand Suicide, Business, Comment, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Culture, Marketing, Marketing Fail
Have a look at this …
According to Inc, the secret to becoming a billionaire is simply doing one thing.
ONE!!!
But what could that one thing be?
They talk about J.K. Rowling … so is the one thing writing a collection of wonderful books around a single character that became their version of the Bible for a new generation?
Well it can’t be that because it would mean there would be only one billionaire in the whole wide world and given I personally know 3 [albeit in the sense I know them and they try to deny they know me] that means that can’t be right.
So what is it?
What is the single thing that links JK Rowling – who, apparently, isn’t a billionaire anymore – Bill Gates, Richard Branson, Jay-Z and Mackenzie Bezos to name but a few?
Well, according to the worst clickbait article since anything on the Daily Mail, they – wait for it – backed themselves.
Yep … that’s it.
That simple.
Have an idea … ignore the doubters … don’t sell any percentage to any other partner or party and watch the billions roll in.
Now to be fair, independence is a key element to success.
The moment you sell any part of your company, the purpose of your purpose is no longer in your hands.
But independence alone doesn’t guarantee you will become a billionaire …
Dan Wieden may be extraordinarily rich and has been insanely vocal about keeping Wieden independent, but he’s not at billionaire status whereas Phil Knight – who is – has done it while NIKE shares can be bought by anyone, anywhere.
This article is everything I hate …
It has cherry picked stories to reinforce their blatantly flawed argument, which means either they’re stupid or they think their readers are.
Yes it is important to back yourself.
Yes it helps if you own the rights to what you do.
But even before this, is the need for an idea … something you believe in that is expressed in a way others have not seen or achieved.
That’s maybe the most important bit and even then, it doesn’t – contrary to what Inc implies – guarantee success.
As I said, I somehow know a few billionaires and while they absolutely had an idea they backed, they still had to overcome a huge amount of barriers and obstacles. Some did it on their own … some did it with outside help … but the reality is their success is not down to a single thing, but a combination of a good idea, excellent timing, a dollop of luck, some belief and support from an external party [whether that was vocal or financial] and an ability to achieve distribution on a mass scale, in a relatively short period of time.
The reality is it’s not easy to become a billionaire.
If it was, we’d all be doing it and then being a billionaire would not be rich, it would be average.
To suggest anything otherwise is utterly ridiculous.
In fact it’s damaging …
I know a bunch of brilliant people who have fantastic ideas who will never make billions out of them. Hell, some may not even make hundreds.
Not because they’re not smart or business savvy, but because the path to success is down to many factors and even then, depends on how and when it happens and the hope the goalposts don’t change for the time you have your opportunity.
But then there’s those who don’t do what they do for the financial goal.
They don’t equate success with how much money they make from their idea.
For them, success is the ability to simply do what they believe in … whether that’s full-time or as a hobby.
But imagine if they were to take the bullshit Inc are spouting on face value?
Suddenly they would feel that regardless what they do or why they do it, they have fundamentally failed.
That somehow they didn’t back themselves enough.
That their wealth is a public display of tripped up.
They won’t, because they’re smart, but what it means is that while Inc [and their ridiculous clickbait] may think they are the friends of entrepreneurs, their actions and attitude show they are the absolute opposite of it.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Brand Suicide, Comment, Communication Strategy, Corporate Evil, Crap Campaigns In History, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Differentiation, Imagination, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Planning, Point Of View, Positioning, Pretentious Rubbish, Relevance, Resonance, Wieden+Kennedy
Once upon a time, endlines meant something.
They were distinct, explained a brands value or purpose.
And more often than not, were packed with personality.
Then Dan Wieden fucked it up for everyone.
You see his famous JUST DO IT became the benchmark for all brands.
Marketing Directors craved a line that summed up who they were in 3 words.
The number of words was more important than what it said … which is why you now get this …
What a pile of shite.
Bland, contrived, sameness …
Literally doing the opposite of what it is supposed to do.
Designed to appeal to the ego of the board rather than the hearts of the audience.
All because we have fallen into the trap of believing simplistic equates to effectiveness.
It doesn’t.
Simple might do … but simplistic is the lowest common denominator that requires zero thinking because it makes zero impression.
It’s why I sit here and can remember endlines from my childhood more easily than end lines I watched 10 minutes ago.
Handmade by Robots … for Fiat.
Refreshes the other parts other beers can’t reach … for Heineken.
Do you love someone enough to give them your last Rolo … for, ahem, Rolo.
Of course there’s a few modern endlines that work … GoPro’s ‘Be A Hero’ for example [though they went and fucked it up by changing it to utter blandom] … but in the main, companies seems to like endlines that sound like they know what they’re doing but don’t really say much at all.
At cynic we used to call these ‘Yoda Statements’, but what is even scarier is consultants are being paid a fortune to come up with this sort of twaddle.
That’s right, companies who claim to know how to help business grow are coming up with statements that literally make companies blend into everything else.
And yet they still are valued more highly by clients that companies who know how to push, provoke, inspire and capture the imagination of culture through creativity.
If anything tells you how mad the World is, surely one of them is that.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Brand Suicide, Communication Strategy, Crap Campaigns In History, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Culture, Design, Egovertising, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Pretentious Rubbish
Yesterday I wrote a post about stupid.
Well, it appears it may be the theme for 2020, because I just saw this …
Yes, that is an ad for a new suitcase that is making a big deal that it comes with wheels.
WHEELS.
Actually it’s much more than that because they’re making a big bloody deal about where the wheels are supposedly from.
Now I know I once bought a wifi suitcase that the security people at the airport wouldn’t allow me to take on a plane because the ‘battery charger’ wasn’t removable, but even for me this is utterly bonkers.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely appreciate Japan’s perfectionist, craft mentality – to make a big deal about ‘wheels made in Japan’ is possibly the best example of bonkers brand manager ego/delusion that you’ll see this year.
And no, I didn’t buy it.
Cheeky bastards.