The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Maybe The Thing Making Us Be Apart Is The Thing That Can Bring Us Together …

So today, I start working from home due to the devastating spread of corona virus.

As someone who has lived through SARS, avian and swine flu, you’d think I would be fine with it … but the way the government and media have responded, I have to say has left me on edge.

It feels like 28 Days Later – as we hide, hoping the invisible virus won’t get us while looking suspiciously at anyone who is outside or has a casual sneeze.

Personally I don’t think the government are taking it seriously enough.

I also think a lot of people are being way too blase about it.

But what’s worse is that while many of us are going to be inconvenienced, the elderly, the homeless, the single parents, the temporary workers, the unemployed and the small business owners are going to face a horrific time and no one seems to be creating plans for how they can cope.

I’m addition, it’s showing the worst of society.

From that fat, lying, cheating bastard who is the President of America – to the rapid increase in gun purchase in the USA [seriously, WTF?] to the disgusting locust like behaviour going on in across supermarkets all over the World.

I tell you what, any of these people who ever negatively judged immigrants, refugees or boat people better not do that from now on.

Though what’s the betting they’ll claim their situation is different.

I guess they’re right.

Refugees, migrants and boat people are trying not to die. They’re just trying to continue living in comfort and wipe their arse with 3-ply.

But through it all there have been signs of humanity showing their best side.

Coming together.


Looking out for others.

From the wonderful singing that is happening on balconies across Italy to Waitrose making sure all small business suppliers are paid the next day to LVMH doing this …

Given there are some companies you’d expect to jump to societies help who are acting like absolute wankers, it’s even more amazing LVMH are acting so swiftly and generously.

When this all passes, some companies will discover profit before people ends up costing them profit and people.

It’s a strange time but we will get through it – but what will make it better is if we can find ways to help those who feel left behind.

I’m working on something and there’s options already in place for the elderly – like this – but if you have more ideas, please let me know.

Most of all, look after yourself.

So far, 2020 has a lot to improve on.

About As Subtle As A Banana Put Down A Pair Of Axl Rose’s Leather Pants …

Saw this recently on Linkedin.

Do you think it’s an employee randomly singing the praises of his company.

Or an employee who is doing this as a blatant attempt by his company to look good?

Either way, I want to smash the smarmy, corporate toady in the face.

God Bless Communism …
October 1, 2016, 7:30 am
Filed under: China, Chinese Culture, Culture, Cunning, Holiday, Unfair Life, Wankers

Want to know the definition of bittersweet?

Knowing you have a weeks holiday from my blogging because from today, China has a week-long national holiday.

That’s right, I’m going to be on holiday. Again.

Yes … I know I had one only a few weeks ago and I know I had a month off only about 6 weeks ago, but hey, I’m just a humble servant of the Communist party so don’t blame me.

So unless you live in LA – because I’ll be knocking on your door – enjoy the break, because I know I will. Till the 10th …

Same But Different … And Not In A Good Way

A long time ago, there was a report that claimed the only thing the general public thought was lower than being an ‘advertising executive’ was being a used car salesman.

Well, judging by this letter in The Guardian newspaper, there is good news and bad news as regards how things have changed.

The ‘good’ is there is another industry group deemed lower than us/me.

The ‘bad’ is it appears used car salesman have leapfrogged us in the distain charts.

Which begs the question, how the hell do you stay exactly the same and yet still end up worse?

Only advertising has the answer …

It’s pretty damning isn’t it?!

I can’t help but feel my Dad would be in total agreement with it too.

I’m utterly petrified for the day Otis asks me the same sort of question.

What do I say?

Do I reframe it so he won’t hate me?

Do I tell him the truth so he hates me, but maybe respects my honesty?

Do I just start talking about Birkenstocks and hope he forgets what he asked?

I honestly don’t know … so I’m relying on the fact that at 46, the ad industry will soon kick me to the curb so I can be a part-time receptionist at a used car garage and make him proud.

Ironically, I’d actually really like to do that job too.

They’re Nuts. Literally And Figuratively …
September 20, 2016, 6:20 am
Filed under: Brand Suicide, Crap Campaigns In History, Egovertising, Marketing Fail, Wankers

OK, so from an ethical point-of-view, the ad I featured yesterday is waaaaaaaay worse given smoking will kill you rather than help you live a ‘full-on’ life … but in terms of marketing bullshit, this has to take the gold medal.

The smartest praline in the World?

What the hell were they thinking!

Another campaign that says more about the client than the audience.

Seriously, how many more times are companies going to confuse marketing with lying?

Of course they will say they’re just exaggerating or using creative licence … but the fact is, it’s bollocks packaged to satisfy the ego of the client.

While some may say that is a smart way to keep the client on side, the reality is that once the sales figures come in – or the lack of them – they’ll soon forget who told the agency to make such a ridiculous claim and put the business up for pitch.

And if by some grace of god, the sales figures do come in … then the client will take all the credit for their genius [when the likelihood is it’s their distribution power that they should be thanking] and the agency will forever be at the clients whim … that is until the their demand for ever-reduced fees means they literally cannot carry on as they are going.

And everyone loses their job.


Seriously, when I see stuff like this, it literally makes my blood boil over.

Not just because it undermines the industry. Not just because it turns more people off than on. Not even because it means the people with talent are getting held back by the people who will do whatever gets them a pat on the head. But because chocolate is wonderful and lovely and deserves work as charming and emotional as this little spot we recently made for Milka.

FYI: I’m not slagging off Ferraro because I work with Milka. I really like Ferraro chocolateI’m slagging them because this whole ‘smartest praline in the world’ is ridiculous.

But it gets worse.

You see after a bit of searching, I finally tracked their ad down – or at least the German execution of it – and guess what … it didn’t even have anything to do with praline’s, let alone ‘smart ones’, which means it’s even more marketing bollocks than I originally thought.