The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


The Most Confident Man In The World …

One of the most overused words in advertising is ‘confidence’.

It’s a characteristic that tends to fail in 2 key ways:

First, it tends to represent who the brand wishes was their customer, rather than who is.

Second, too often its presented in superficial, contrived and over-the-top ways … as if the brand is scared their audience won’t be able to tell what they’re trying to convey unless overt.

Thirdly, a lot of the time it ends up reeking of a brand insecure in who they are and what they believe.

The result of which is that the work often ends up bring a repellent to audiences, rather than a beacon.

There’s an obvious reason for this and that’s real confidence is expressed – and felt – in the small stuff, not the big, which is why one of the best true expressions of confidence was this brilliant Southern Comfort spot from WKNY back in 2012.

I still remember seeing it for the first time.

I was visiting WK Amsterdam and Martin Weigel showed it to me.

Didn’t need any explanation.
Didn’t need over-the-top behaviour.
Didn’t even need any bloody words.
Confidence oozed out of every moment, by nature of it not trying to.

Now, I appreciate being half Italian, I saw these men on the beaches of Pescara, every year that I was growing up – so it could be argued I was ‘pretuned’ to comprehension. But truth be told, whether you’re from Italy or Iceland … everyone got it.

Not just intellectually, but emotionally.

And that line, ‘Whatever’s Comfortable’.

How good was that? The embodiment of confidence, without having to say it.

Just a way to acknowledge some people are at ease with who they are. That they have a belief in who they are. That they are accepting of who they are, regardless of comparison or competition.

No delusion.
No arrogance.
Just a comfort in who you are, rather than pretending to be who you’re not.

And frankly, there hasn’t been anything that has come close to that piece of work since that piece of work, because all I see these days is either more blatant try-hard shit – which reveals a brands lack of confidence, rather than an abundance of it – or manosphere, toxic bullshit.

That was until recently …

The photo above is Simon Vicars, our CCO – also known as the nicest man in advertising.

He is the living proof that ‘good guys’ don’t always come last. He is also proof that being a good human doesn’t mean you’re not talented. Because he is, sickeningly so.

But as I wrote before, he is also a bit of a cheeky bastard. Never with malice, but with a slight mischievousness that somehow, you can’t help finding endearing.

And how does he pull this off?

Well, because he may be the most confident man since the Southern Comfort man.

Sure, he’s whiter than the Dulux Dog.
Sure, he has a nose that Concord would be jealous of. [and I’m hardly one to talk!]
Sure, he has the upper torso you would imagine a slight gust of wind could knock over.

But this just proves my point because how else can you explain him going to a pub [with me] to interview a potential job candidate … asking if they were hungry [it was lunchtime to be fair] and despite them and me saying ‘no’, goes ahead and orders a fucking massive Chicken Parm before proceeding to scoff it down in front of both of us.

To be fair, he looked a bit sheepish as this photo captures – but he still did it – and frankly, it may be one of the most incredible and understated acts of confidence I’ve ever seen.

Partly because he is so nice that I know he did it because he was starving with hunger and was going to be starved of time. Partly because I got a kick of staying quiet at different moments of the interview so I could watch him have to swallow massive pieces of chicken so he would be able to respond to the questions with no massive pause. And partly because – where so many would deny their truth so that they ‘fitted in’ – he did what was good, right and comfortable for him … which, when you come to think of it, is one of the greatest acts of self-respect and transparency you could receive from someone.

So here’s to Si Vicars. He may not look it, but he may be the most confident man in the World.

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Stubbornly Greedy …

I’ve known Rachel Mercer and Shann Biglione for quite a few years.

I met Shann when we both worked in Shanghai and I met Rach when we both worked at Deutsch – albeit her in NYC and me in LA – and then at R/GA, where she was still in NYC but I’d moved to London.

Though we don’t speak or see each other much, I’ve always been taken by how smart, decent and normal they are, which is why I was thrilled when they started a podcast called ‘The Overthinkers’ – a celebration of those who make the work rather than talk about making the work – and then asked me to be on the very last episode they were going to do together.

Now I must admit I don’t know if the reason I was chosen to be their final guest was because they thought I’d be a good contributor or the person who would ensured it was dead forever – though given we recorded it over a year ago, I suspect the latter. That said, I am not only grateful to them for asking me, I enjoyed it immensely.

The chat was ultimately focused on one key question: ‘when is enough, enough’?’

And while their viewpoints were eloquent and beautifully articulated, I proved – as an only child with immaturity issues – that I was the absolute worst person they could have, and should have, asked.

You can listen to me rambling like a lunatic – covering everything from birth, death, aging, immaturity, babies, parenting and the arrogant pricks of marketing, here – and you can listen to Shann, and his new co-host, Lynette, here.

What a way to start the week.

On the bright side, it can only get better … achieved by listening to any of the other people Shann and Rach had on their podcast.

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Money. For Nothing …

When I was growing up there was a newspaper cartoon called ‘Andy Capp’.

Andy was a cliche of the working-class – albeit he never actually works – and lives in Hartlepool in the North East of England.

Andy is married to his long suffering wife, Flo – and despite her working – they are almost on the verge of poverty because apart from Andy being unemployed, he lacks any motivation and thinks he can ‘beat the system’ because of his smarts.

By that, think early stage manosphere but replacing the sexualization of women with more pure sexism.

Anyway, the reason I say this is because I remember one cartoon where Flo told Andy that they were in debt to the tune of £1000.

To which Andy replied something like:

“I told you Flo, if you owe £100 you’re a failure. If you owe £1000 you’re an entrepreneur. If you owe a £10,000 you’re a businessman and if you owe £1,000,000 you’re a government. So what this means Flo, is we’re on the way up!”

I don’t know why I remember that cartoon among the millions of things I’ve seen over the years – but it has always left a lasting impression on me, which may explain why I’ve tended to only seek – or listen to – the advice I’ve got from people who either failed trying or succeeded by doing. Sounds obvious doesn’t it? Yet everyday I read/hear/watch people spouting unsolicited advice about subjects they have almost zero right or credibility to do – mistaking opinion as fact, interest as knowledge, knowledge as expertise or ego as cleverness.No wonder a famous football manager once told me to always learn from winners, not players.

Look, I get we all do this to some degree, but there’s a big difference between spouting an opinion or perspective and acting like you’re the indisputable, all-knowing, God-of-all.

The point is, regardless what Andy Capp says, we would not take his proclamations as fact.

We might accept it’s what he thinks is fact, but not what is true for all.

And yet, more and more, I’m witnessing business blindly follow the statements and proclamations of people who are the real-life, modern version of Andy Capp.

Kinda.

Because while they DO have jobs … and while they have even been successful in them … they are now telling people how to succeed in areas they have absolutely no right to talk about.

Not just because many have never worked in those areas, but they have a track record of making terrible choices when developing ideas outside of their core area of knowledge.

Enter Mark Zuckerberg.

I’m not doubting he’s smart.

I’m not doubting he loves technology.

I’m not even doubting his successes.

However, why are so many people listening [and investing] in his version of the future when not only is it designed around his ego and need for power and control – not to mention his desperation to be talked about in the same breath as Steve Jobs – this is a person who spent/blew/lost US$80 BILLION on the Metaverse??

EIGHTY. FUCKING. BILLION. DOLLARS.

I get innovation is expensive.

I appreciate all technology needs time to evolve.

I acknowledge that I have two of their Quest headsets.

But 80 billion?

To put it in context, the iPhone is said to have cost anywhere between $150 million and $3.2 billion. The creation of Google Maps is said to have cost around $1 billion to initially develop. Even the A380 aircraft – the biggest passenger aircraft in the history of aviation – ‘only’ cost around $25-35 billion to build.

And to add even more context …

80 billion dollars is the equivalent of being the 90th placed country in the World by GDP.

OK, so Zuck’s 80 billion was spent over a long period of time compared to how GFP figures are calculated, but still …

In fact, this suggests Zuck is someone who stubbornly believes he is always right.

Or at the very least, refuses to acknowledge where things aren’t working or where things need improving.

Sadly, we see this same sort of arrogance in our industry …

Where someone is successful in a particular disciple or with a particular agency or with a particular piece of work or with a particular promotion… and then suddenly, they believe they are more knowledgable, more successful and more authoritative than every other person in every other industry regardless of their actual level of experience and expertise.

And what is worse is they get away with it …

Because like Zuck, too many people hang onto their words like gospel, even though in many ways they’re speaking the same delusional clap-trap as Andy Capp, which suggests 2 uncomfortable truths.

1. The real problem with ego is not the person spouting the nonsense, but the people who choose to believe loud confidence over real experience.

2. Andy Capp may have been right because it does seem in business. ‘the more you lose, the more people believe you’re a success’.

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A Reminder That Covid May Have Revealed The Best Of Humanity And The Worst Of Our Industry …

I was going through some old photos when I saw this …

That’s right, Banana Republic used the pandemic as an opportunity to shame people who were struggling to work from home – while trying to also care for the people in their home, including having to teach their kids their schoolwork – to look better for their work calls.

Oh I know some people will say this was ‘good marketing’ … seizing an opportunity to drive their business at a time where commerce was expected to suffer [when we know the opposite was true] … but it’s not, if anything it’s ambulance-chasing marketing. Where the only consideration is ‘can I make money out of this person, regardless of their situation.

And that’s the thing between good and shit marketing … the knowledge that just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

The fact they literally call these scarves ‘video chat accessories’ is so overt it’s breath-taking.

And sickening.

But to be fair, they weren’t the only one adopting this ‘strategy’.

I remember a UK-based kitchen company that suggested you should go thousands into debt to have your kitchen ‘updated’ so you can do your future work calls in a room that presented you in a more ‘professional, wealthy, successful light’.

The big problem with a lot of our industry is our disregard for customers.

Actually that’s wrong … it’s our ability to pretend we’re doing everything for our customers.

The reality is though many companies don’t know who their customers are or even what industry they’re in … they simply believe that people – all people – are lining up to buy whatever it is they want to sell, whenever they tell people about it.

I once worked at a place that was obsessed with D2C – direct to consumer.

They were heavily pushing ALL their clients to follow suit … claiming it was what customers wanted, how a modern brand behaved, where retail was heading.

And, to be fair, there was a lot of that happening at the time and they were well placed to leverage it … but I, and more than a few others, weren’t convinced. Mainly because the brands who did it well were very clear on who they were, what they did, who they were for and how long they intended to be around whereas they were trying to force it on organizations who were the antithesis of this. Worse, they were the antithesis of this but were being told that didn’t matter … it was what the future was all about.

I kept bringing this up … highlighting this was not a blanket approach for all and there were serious implications on the brand, customers and category over time. Or at the very least, we shouldn’t be advocating clients let go of all they have done and built and stand-for just so they can exploit a new opportunity for cash.

And I was told I was a dinosaur.
Harking back to a time that was no longer relevant.
That technology was changing everything and they were at the forefront of it.

And while they were a good company, they were lost in their own ego and greed … refusing to look beyond the world they had created, because it was a world that positioned them as visionary rather than acknowledging this was a temporary wave where they were well equipped to benefit from.

Don’t get me wrong, we have to continually innovate.
We have to identify the possibilities, opportunities and waves of change.
But it only works if you know who you are, what you do, who you are for and what they value and want.

It also needs self-awareness, objectivity, honesty and transparency and the realization everything and everyone evolves – regardless what you wish people did.

Which may explain why many of the clients they had, are now brands who are a case-study for what not to do.

A warning that when you think the things that define you, guide you and build you are superfluous, then you can – and probably will – fall for everything.

Just ask Wework.
And Nike.
And The Line.

There’s a big difference between making money and building a business. Sadly, today, few seem to care about what they can become, just what they can get now.

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Be More Like Walken …

So I’m back and let’s start the week as I intend to go on. Kinda.

With the obsession of marketing practice, our towns and cities are increasingly being wrapped in advertising that all looks the same – just in different colours.

Doesn’t matter if it’s an ad for a bank, a car, a holiday destination or a cold and flu medicine … everything feels interchangeable, which results in people – ironically – being able to ‘tune them out’ rather than being attracted to how they stand out.

It’s why the thing that is increasingly capturing the attention and creating some sort of differentiation are the ‘walk-in’ signs designed by the people who either own the shops we walk past, or run them.

One of them I saw recently was this:

Is it brilliant? Not really.
It it it clever? A little, but not much.
Does the store have anything to do with Christopher Walken? Not at all.

But I tell you what, it caught my attention, made me smile and made me pay attention to it – and the store it was for – far more than I do with many of the dot-to-dot, paint-by-numbers ads that have been tested to within an inch of their life to ensure the message achieves maximum comprehension, does not – in any way – offend or alienate audiences and hits every category cue, brand ‘asset’ and ‘purchase driver’ to ensure the people behind it can tell their bosses it ‘achieved all the metrics’, even if no one in the real world paid the slightest bit of attention to it whatsoever.

Now don’t get me wrong, I know there’s a world of difference between developing the communication for a major, national/internation brand and doing a ‘walk-in’ sign for a local suburb – but somewhere along the line, we seem to have forgotten the point of ads is to stand out, not blend in which is why it might be a good time to end this post by dusting off this quote by the great Mr Weigel,

‘You can be as relevant as hell and still be boring as fuck’.

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