Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Brand Suicide, Consultants, Corporate Evil, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Culture, Embarrassing Moments, Marketing, Marketing Fail
Sorry Lee, but seriously … WTF?
You need to tell Mr B to ditch the management consultants and get people who actually know the soul of the brand.
Or at the very least, people who will say, “this is a terrible idea”.
I can’t even work out who this is for …
Most young people won’t know who the fuck the Pistols were.
And the people who do know are self aware enough to know how tragic this makes them look.
I know the history between the two brands but …. nooooooooooooo.
No, no, no, no, no.
And it is underpinned by Mastercard.
The ‘priceless’ people.
How can you all get it so wrong?
Well, I know how … but come on, even Stevie Wonder can see how bad an idea this is.
I appreciate you will have personally had nothing to do with it, but christ on a bike.
I bet you’re grateful comments are still turned off? Hahaha.
I’m genuinely so upset about this, but I am also willing to sort you out. For a price, hahaha.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Apathy, Attitude & Aptitude, Brand Suicide, Comment, Corporate Evil, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Fake Attitude
I love new business.
I love the thrill of getting stuck into something new.
The inquisition into how a business runs.
The exploration of how others see it and the category it plays in.
The history of why it started not just what is is doing.
All coming together to help formulate a point of view for the discussions you’ll have.
I’m not saying it’s easy. And in this economy, it will not only be harder to encourage new ways to tackle old problems … they’ll be more companies trying to do the same thing, often using price as their leverage rather than rigour.
Oooooh, look at me being all judgemental. But I’ll stick with it.
Anyway, the point is, new business is the lifeblood of all business.
What you do and how you do it may alter, but bringing in new clients and projects is oxygen. Not simply for the financial strength of the company, but the ability to reinvent who you are with every assignment.
Now there’s lots of ways people and companies approach new business but one I loathe is the speculative letter. Blanket and blind correspondence trying to make you care about something that you didn’t ask for and don’t really want to consider.
But as bad as that is, there’s now one that is even worse.
The blanket and blind lazy letter.
I know … I know … what could be lazier than blanket and blind?
Well, I’ll tell you, this …
Everything about this is hateful to me.
+ The suggestion they know someone who has told them what I am looking to do at work.
+ The blatant disregard for who I am, what I do and what my company does.
+ The claims of experience and reputation, despite their previous sentences proving otherwise.
+ The idea that the only difference between finding entry level talent and senior level talent is simply the payment of an additional $15 an hour.
+ The desperate attempt to close with a call.
Does this approach work?
Does anyone take them up on this scam?
What makes it even more of a joke is the Clustox website claims they ‘build software that grows businesses and startups’.
What software is that exactly? Spam software.
I tell you what would help you Clustox … know who the fuck you are talking to.
It’s not hard.
At the very least, make sure the person you’re writing to has some relevance to what you’re flogging. Has some connection to the industry you claim to serve and can assist with.
In fact the only effective thing this piece of unsolicited communication has done is ensure I will never work with you – even if I suddenly want to hire oodles of tech engineers.
And that’s exactly what I’ll tell Patricia when we talk next week.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Australia, Brand Suicide, Comment, Corporate Evil, Embarrassing Moments, England, Influencers, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Perspective, Positioning, Pretentious Rubbish, Revenge, Social Divide, Social Media
The media – and marketing – have perpetuated all manner of stereotypes over the years.
They spend enormous amounts of time and money painting psychological beliefs into society so they can profit from others shortcomings or vulnerabilities.
They don’t care if it destroys lives, to them that’s just canon fodder in the quest of riches, so everything is justifiable.
Which explains why we see so many things being labelled by the media and marketing industries … because it’s the perfect way to achieve mass social psychological manipulation.
You name it and they’ll have given a name to it.
Superfast.
Superfoods.
Superhair.
Supersoup
They’ll use a label to sell anything … from kale to self-help books to gender roles.
And while that is a fucking horrible way to behave, there is one thing that is pretty impressive and that’s their ability to not just never stop doing it … but to never stop inventing new bullshit labels to fuck with people.
Take a look at this …
A CEO body?
A fucking CEO body?
What does that even mean?
Do all CEO’s share a particular physical format?
I mean, I know Elon and Jeff went from dweeb to muscle mountains, but I’ve still met a bunch of CEO’s with very different body shapes to them.
Also, what sort of CEO are they talking about?
A CEO of a big company? A start-up company? A fast-food company?
Do they lead 3 employees or 33,000 employees?
Are they heading up a profitable company or a crypto disaster?
Do they write thought leader pieces on Linkedin or are they living in a social media blackhole?
And why are you only showing a man?
A white man.
Is it because you think only white men can become a CEO?
Have you inadvertently just explained the real reason behind corporate racism, prejudice and the glass ceiling all in one go?
And while I’m at it, can you explain what you mean by the term ‘midlife’ in your headline?
What is that?
Is it a specific number?
Is it 30?
What about 40?
I bet it’s a mid-number like 45 or something … just to mess with us.
Come on, don’t keep it to yourself. Is there a standard ‘midlife’ no one told me about.
You can tell me. I know at 52 I’ve likely passed it, but I’d still like to know.
Finally – and I really don’t want to be picky here – but why are you telling everyone what the 16 foods ALL men should be eating are?.
Is it CEO food?
Don’t CEO’s eat fancy and expensive stuff?
And if all men eat it, does that mean all men will become CEO’s?
How will that happen? Are there enough CEO jobs to go round to make that happen?
And what about the women who are CEO’s? Do they eat that food as well? Is that how they got to the top … they ate like a man and had a body like a man?
I’m so confused.
In fact the only thing that’s clear to me is how you’re using marketing labelling bullshit to add even more expectation and judgement on people’s lives just so you can attempt to profit even more from making society question how they are supposed to look and live.
All this coming from The Times newspaper.
The fucking Times!!!
Once the pinnacle of journalism and standards, now a peddler of utter horseshit.
Even more so when you think what their CEO’s body is like …
Maybe I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure no one would want to look like that, let alone be like that.
And if The Times think they do, it may help explain why their readership keeps falling.
Dickheads.
Oh I really enjoyed writing that.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Apathy, Attitude & Aptitude, Brand Suicide, Business, Confidence, Context, Culture, Fake Attitude, Marketing, Membership, Planners Making A Complete Tit Of Themselves And Bless, Pretentious Rubbish, Revenge, Twitter
Over the last 12 months, one of the things I’ve had an almost adverse reaction to is twitter.
I can see Andy reading this – and I expect an email from him reinforcing this – and shouting:
“Now you know why I always called it twatter”
And he may … just may … be right.
I used to like twitter.
It had a similar feel to the early days of blogging.
Community. Supportive. Elevation of knowledge and debate.
But now …. well, it’s a cesspit of hate, ego and imposters.
Full of people on self-made pedestals claiming to be the next incarnation of Christ. Who believe they are better and smarter than the bastard love-triangle-child of Weiden, Edison and Ocasio-Cortez. Who are disturbingly confident in their claims of being more knowledgable about companies histories, operations and decision making than employees – or even founders – of those very companies. Or even the CIA.
And yet, when you look for any of the work these genius’ have actually made … what you tend to find is more tweets.
Tweets about what others are doing wrong.
Tweets about how they could do things better.
Tweets about how they know the answer to everything and beyond.
Tweets about how they want others to give them answers to questions that someone else is paying them to provide.
Tweets about how they claim ownership for business or societal behaviour change via articles that they had nothing to do with that talk about business or societal behaviour change.
Tweets about how their ego, arrogance, aggression, bitterness and dismissal of others know no bounds.
Tweets. Tweets. Tweets.
And this was before Elon Musk, the World’s comedy villain, overpaid for the bloody thing.
Of course not everyone is like this. There are still some amazing people on there who are generous and open with their comments and consideration … who can disagree without aspiring to demolish those who have a different point of view … however they’re increasingly becoming the minority, drowned out by wave after wave of hateful, spiteful, vicious commentary which – for the first time in my life – pushed me away for my mental health.
This was shocking to me for 3 reasons.
1. Having worked in this industry for so long, I have the thickest of thick skin.
2. I’m a social-media tart. Not just in terms of platforms I belong to, but in terms of ‘content’ I churn out.
3. No one was personally attacking or abusing me.
Basically, twitter has become exhausting to me.
A firehose of cliquey, self-congratulatory, pseudo-intellectual commentary that tries – and fails – to hide it is ego and insecurity shouting into an echo-chamber.
Personally this has devastated me.
I loved twitter – like I loved blogs – because I genuinely felt they helped me be become better at things I do or wanted to do.
It gave me a direct line to people I respected where I was able to listen, learn, interact, explore and debate.
Twitter wanted me to be better.
It wanted me to be exposed to new ideas, ideals and considerations.
But not now.
Now it’s like a digital version of The Hunger Games.
Destruction in 280 characters.
Words used as bombs and swords.
People elevating themselves by bringing others down … through verbal attacks, gaslighting or building a wall of imagined exclusivity between them and others, even if it only exists in the minds, ego and insecurity of those who post so often, you wonder how the hell they have time to do their actual job.
Anyway, the reason for all this is that I recently read a quote from Musk about what he thought Twitter was:
I couldn’t agree with him more.
In fact, I think he encapsulated why I have fallen out-of-love with his $44 billion indulgence.
Because mediums are neither rare nor well done.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Brand, Brand Suicide, Business, Comment, Consultants, Context, Creativity, Culture, Distinction, Effectiveness, Individuality, Innovation, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail
I was never a fan of Seinfeld.
Then I’ve never been much of a fan of Jerry Seinfeld either.
I always found him a bit of condescending, self-righteous prick.
Oh I get he is smart.
His observational skills are almost unparalleled.
But you can be a genius and still be an asshole. Step on down Elon Musk.
However recently I read something Jerry said that made me dislike him less.
Not simply because he didn’t know who McKinsey were, but because of what he highlighted is the problem with them. Or more specifically, the problem companies who use them, have.
Now don’t get me wrong, I appreciate this paints Jerry as a control freak.
And I also acknowledge that many companies hire McKinsey because they think the challenge they face is hard – rather than easy.
But what I do like about what he says is he won’t outsource his responsibility.
Sure, he could trust those around him more … and sure, his words smack of egomaniac … but to be fair to him, the product he sells is himself – his personality, his character, his humour – so it makes perfect sense he is obsessive about what goes out under his name because he cares deeply about his reputation, values and his quality control.
And that’s a major problem these days.
Too many don’t.
Oh they’ll say they do.
They’ll run internal and external communication that reinforce they do.
But then they’ll go and outsource their responsibilities and decisions to ‘for profit’ external organisations. Either because they don’t want the pressure … the issue is beyond their abilities … or they want someone to blame if things go wrong.
And the issue with this is the external organisation who are now responsible for answering this challenge, often do it with little to no consideration of who they’re doing it for.
How their clients look at the world.
The nuances and quirks that define who the company is and how they act.
So they provide a solution that does exactly what has been asked of them and nothing more.
Solutions agnostic of client values, beyond some superficial characteristics.
And this has resulted in a world filled with identikit functional solutions. Solutions that answer the issue, but at the cost of commoditisation. And all because senior people – who are paid handsomely to be responsible for their organisations wellbeing and growth – decided to outsource their responsibility to another organisation, even though they know they will never care as much about them as they should care about themselves.
Of course not everyone is like this.
Some are as committed and obsessive about how they do things as what they do.
But there are far too many who look for quick wins.
Easy answers.
Less pressure or responsibility.
Which is why I have always thought whether you are a shareholder or an employee, knowing how much the most senior people understand, value and protect the standards, nuance and quirks of the company they represent – not simply the balance sheet – acts as a good indicator you’re with a company who respects the value of their own value.
Not simply in terms of profit.
Nor in reputation.
But in the standards and values that drives all they do and create.
Which is my way of saying that while I still think Jerry Seinfeld is a bit of a dick, I now respect him for knowing where his responsibilities lie.
To both himself, his future and his fans.
Now if only there were more companies and brands who lived by the same mantra.