I was recently invited to speak to a class of exec-MBA students at Cambridge University.
If anything reflects the state of education, even at the most respected of institutions, it’s this.
Given the closest I got to university was driving past Nottingham Polytechnic when I was a kid, of course I said yes.
Maybe you think being asked to talk would be enough to satisfy my ego.
Maybe you think I would want to present myself as a mature, professional.
Maybe you have forgotten what I’m like.
Because despite it being midnight in Auckland, I was awake enough to exploit my moment of power by saying that they needed to give me a wave before I would start.
I know … I know … what a prick move.
But it wasn’t total stupidity, because it ensured they looked pleased to hear from me at least once throughout my talk. #strategy
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Brand, Brand Suicide, Comment, Communication Strategy, Confidence, Consultants, Corporate Evil, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Cunning, Devious Strategy, Effectiveness, Fake Attitude, Grifting, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Planners, Planners Making A Complete Tit Of Themselves And Bless, Planning, Relevance, Scam, Strategy
I’m all for people expressing their opinion.
I’m all for people being excited about things they see as having great possibilities.
I’m all for people trying to find new ways to evolve, grow and make money.
But come on …
It’s getting to the point where Linkedin should be renamed Disneyland given how much fiction and fantasy are going on.
What’s worse is among all the ‘consultants’ and ‘new business development people’ claiming expertise, are a bunch of strategists.
Now I know as a discipline we think we have the answer to everything … but we don’t.
Fuck, even the people who are developing the technology, don’t.
But what bothers me is the reason behind why so many people are claiming expertise.
OK, so I know some have a real understanding of the technology and its possible implications. And in that, I include certain strategists – we all know who those brilliant people are.
And I also appreciate some mistakenly believe that because they’ve used ChatGPT, they think they now know everything about the technology.
But others – and this is potentially the majority of them – are doing it because they see it as a chance to personally gain from it.
In essence, their perspective is that as long as a subject matter is highly topical and others – especially companies – don’t know about it, then they can profit from it because they can say anything because no one will know enough to tell them they’re wrong.
You can tell who this group are because they’re the one’s who are either the loudest to declare their knowledge or the first to say they had identified the trend … despite never doing anything with their ‘expertise’ or because of their ‘vision’.
Putting aside how this sort of behaviour can damage the reputation of real experts, disciplines and entire industries … the issue I have is how it is often justified as hustle culture.
I’ve written my issue with hustle culture in the past, but the fact is, this isn’t hustling … it’s grifting and the impact of it is not just damaging people and companies, but it killing the potential of technology before it has a chance to find it’s real possibility.
I appreciate this is quite a heavy post from what was just a piss-take image of Homer … but the best comedy is always based on a truth we often like to deny.
Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Brand, Brand Suicide, Comment, Corporate Evil, Culture
I recently saw this ad …
I must admit, when I first saw it I thought it was a spoof …
While my interaction with security guards is limited, the one in this image resembles the sort of ‘fancy dress’ version you see on a stag night. Or a shit Hollywood movie.
But no, apparently it’s a real ad.
Which means their definition of ‘professional’ is someone who wears sunglasses, has their finger in their ear and can’t do their tie up properly.
I appreciate I am the last person who should talk about professionalism … and I also accept where bodyguards are concerned, the focus should be on how they protect rather than how they look … but I suppose for an industry that wants to remove the stigma of being seen as thugs in suits, this approach seems to reinforce it rather than change it.
Mind you, given how many celebs are using ‘quantity of bodyguards’ to express their fame and fortune to society, maybe the real opportunity is just offering people who look the part – albeit a bad version of it – than actually being able to do the job their title suggests they’re there for.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Brand, Brand Suicide, Comment, Context, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Cunning, Devious Strategy, Effectiveness, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Martin Weigel, Mischief, Relevance, Resonance
In April, I have been asked to speak at a conference in Croatia.
Croatia! What a country … I cannot bloody wait.
I know … I know … I can hear you all from here, screaming ‘another holiday freebie’. And while I accept this is a terrible misjudgement on their part, does the fact I have to take 3 planes over 24 hours to get there from NZ make you feel any differently?
No … didn’t think so. Doesn’t for me to be honest.
Now this conference is apparently a big deal with some very big names appearing so when they asked what I would be talking about, I thought it best to honour the occasion while representing my abilities, which is why I told them this:
There are many ways I could describe this talk. I could say it’s an investigation into why so many brands fail to connect to audiences despite having more data, research and marketing investment than at any point in history. Or I could take a more controversial path with ‘What if the tools and processes of modern marketing are wrong?’ And while both of those questions will feature within this talk, the real narrative is if you want to be culturally, commercially and creatively powerful … please stop being so bloody boring.
And to double down on that premise, here is slide 2 from the upcoming preso …
While I fully appreciate this seems like I’m not taking things seriously, I am.
Very seriously.
Because the industry seems to only have 2 settings: serious or stupid.
Or said another way, purpose filled or sponsored comedy.
And while they can both work in the right context – and with real talent creating it – it’s all got so expected that it wins by relentless repetition, rather that intrigue and interest.
At least with agencies like Mischief – who I adore – they are painfully aware of who they are, what they do and how they do it.
They’re less ad agency of brand communications, and more meme agency of the internet. And they do it so, so well.
But even they run the risk of their approach ending up being expected. A bit like brands who ‘hijack culture’ … which has now got so common, you have to ask if it is hijacking anything.
Thank god in Mischief’s case they have the brilliant and irrepressible Greg Hahn at their helm – someone who not only is phenomenally creative, but also can read and play with the pulse of culture – so just when things get expected, he takes people somewhere new and interesting.
Or said another way, he kills boring before boring takes hold.
But the reality is what Mischief do is not new.
There are many brands – even industries – who have been doing this sort of thing for decades.
Fashion. Gaming. Hell, even certain TV shows have been doing it.
[Albeit, to different degrees]
And they do it in ways that builds their brands role and position in culture more than just gaining a moment of space for it to be seen and discussed in culture. [That sounds like a diss, it’s not meant to … it’s just my bad writing because Mischief already have achieved more than companies who have been around a century]
The real issue is that in our desperate need to be validated by business, we’ve forgotten what business we’re in.
Because to use creativity just for short-term sales goals robs creativity of it’s true commercial value and power for brands, products, tools and services.
To be intriguing … enticing … interesting and inviting.
Because as the title of this post, stolen from my beloved Martin Weigel so perfectly states …
“You can be relevant as hell and still be boring as fuck.”
Filed under: Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Brand Suicide, Planners, Planners Making A Complete Tit Of Themselves And Bless, Planning, Point Of View, Pretentious Rubbish, Professionalism, Quotes, R/GA, Relevance, Resonance, Wieden+Kennedy
To people who have worked with me in the past … what I am about to say may sound strange. But the older I get, the more I realise what a total bloody nightmare I must have been as an employee and colleague.
I know … I know … you’ve known this for years, but I genuinely didn’t.
Sure, I got I was opinionated, persistent and refused to accept someone’s opinion I disagreed with – even if they were senior or important – but my intentions were always for good.
Good for the work.
Good for the audience.
Good for the clients ambition.
That didn’t mean I always pulled it off – after all, I have a spectacular track record for disaster and stupidity in the quest for doing something brilliant – but it did mean I always gave my all, learnt from [most] of my mistakes and pushed myself to keep finding ways to be original.
And yet, despite that, I still couldn’t help being a cheeky bastard.
Or – in the words of Andy and countless other colleagues and clients – an annoying bastard.
Talks.
Articles.
Client presentations.
You name it, I would find a way to mess with it.
Never maliciously … but because I hate the industries pomposity.
I should point out that doesn’t mean I don’t take what I do seriously.
Nor does it mean I don’t respect the industry that I have worked in my entire career.
It’s simply that I don’t think I have to take myself so seriously in doing it.
Now at 52 you’d think I’d have got my shit together.
But I don’t. In fact, I was recently called by the management of Metallica, ‘resistant to maturity’.
I think they meant it as a compliment … I mean, they renewed my contract again. But while I do believe that there is some benefit to not taking everything so seriously – both attitudinally, creatively and enabling a team to feel free from judgement – I also now appreciate it can be fucking annoying as well.
Which is all my way of highlighting the 2 articles that helped me see what a pain in the ass I may be.
Yes … yes … I appreciate this should have been obvious ages ago.
After all, I once was quoted as saying ‘wank’ on the front page of Campaign … closely followed by me saying I was an ‘annoying’ prick’. And then Campaign got in the act by accusing me of having an affair with a reindeer. But despite that and – let’s be honest – a fuckton of other episodes, including getting drunk on cough sweets and then inadvertently insulting a client [Sorry Lee], I was still none the wiser.
First is this in Little Black Book … where they asked a few planners to comment on some research about people’s habits/trends in Australia.
When it came out, I read it and saw all the other planners being thoughtful and considerate, whereas I go in with 2 guns blazing, blatantly taking the piss out of the whole premise and approach of the research.
Nice one Rob.
In my defence, I did think the research was questionable … both in terms of approach and in findings … but I could definitely of handled my response with a greater level of professionalism, let alone maturity.
And yet it gets worse …
You see every year, BBDO global do some sort of questionnaire to strategists about the trends they think they’ll see coming in the upcoming year.
While Colenso is part of BBDO, we never think – or act – as if we are and, to be fair to BBDO, they never ask us to be and generally leave us alone.
This is all my way of trying to explain why I used a tone in my answers that sounds so piss-takey you’d imagine they’d want to have me buried in a dark whole, let alone my answers.
And yet they then went and ran it all over social channels.
All. Over.
Which means I admire their lack of judgement but question their standards.
Unless, of course, it was an attempt to get me sacked … which would totally make sense.
I So to anyone I’ve ever worked with – or for – I am sorry.
I know it’s too late.
I know I should have known.
I know I’m not going to change.
But – finally – I appreciate I am a fucking nightmare.
[I’ve never been so glad to have comments off. And I will be ignoring the impending emails, ha]