Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Childhood, Comment, Corona Virus, Daddyhood, Emotion, Empathy, Family, Fatherhood, Jill, London, Love, Otis
I found this photo recently.
It’s a few years old, when we lived in London … but there’s something about it that just warms my heart.
Not just because it features my son – though that helps – but because it in a period of pandemic chaos, it shows how love can make everything OK.
Covid had just taken hold.
We were all confined to home.
No one was offering any clarity.
People were dying at unprecedented numbers.
And Otis desperately needed his hair washing.
However …
… he was also playing a video game he absolutely didn’t want to stop playing so – because his world had been turned completely upside down – his wonderful, kind, considerate Mum found a way for him to keep playing while she could do some hair washing.
Obviously it is an utterly ridiculous way to do things, but it’s my ridiculous.
A moment of twisted normality at a time where nothing felt normal whatsoever.
And while I appreciate this is an utterly indulgent photograph, I love the way he seems oblivious to his surroundings. His little legs stretched out to the tip of his toes. And a kitchen that has been rapidly turned into a school, a playroom and a hairdressers all at the same time.
While we were painfully aware of the privileged position we were in – from having an income to having a teeny garden to escape in – the fear of COVID was starting to take a hold which is why, as I look at that photo today, I realise how much my ridiculously beautifully family let me feel we were strong together at a point where everything was feeling like it was falling apart.
Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Dad, Daddyhood, Emotion, Empathy, Family, Mum, Mum & Dad, Otis, Parents
So if this blog being back wasn’t bad enough for you.
I’m ending the first week of posts with something sad.
At least for me.
You see, tomorrow will be the 22nd anniversary of my Dad passing away.
Over the years, I’ve used this anniversary to write both good and sad memories about dad.
From his last days to reminiscing about some of my favourite ones.
Recalling moments burned in my heart and mind.
Some big, some so small … it could easily have got lost in a corner.
Except to me, they are everything.
Despite him being gone 22 years, I still feel an urge to make him – and Mum – proud.
I am pretty sure they would be anyway – despite the odd ‘episode’, which only Dad ever knew about – but it still is a driving force within me.
But here’s the thing, he – and Mum – never put any pressure on me regarding what job I should do. None at all.
Of course they wanted me to do well, but it was about my life, not theirs.
OK, so they would have loved me to follow in the families footsteps of law, but while I adored the idea, I just couldn’t stand the idea of ending one period of education and then heading straight into another.
Hell, even when I told them I didn’t want to go to university, they backed me.
Of course they wanted to know why.
They also wanted me to apply just in case I changed my mind.
But they never guilt-tripped me into doing something I wasn’t interested in.
That doesn’t mean they were passively interested in what I did.
Nor does it mean they were going to pay for my life while I worked it out. [We all knew there simply wasn’t the cash for that, even if they wanted to]
It’s just their focus was ensuring I never settled.
I don’t mean that in terms of being arrogant or picky.
I mean it in terms of them viewing contentment as a terrible waste of a life.
What they wanted for me more than anything was to feel fulfilled.
That whatever I did made me feel better because of it.
Not because of what it enabled me to do, but because of what it was, how I did it and how it made me feel.
I don’t know if I really appreciated how huge that was until much later.
To give me the time, space and backing to work things out on my own.
Of course they were there for questions, worries, challenges and failures … but they were steadfast in wanting this to be about what I wanted for my life, not what they wanted for it.
Because at the end of the day, all they really cared about was me being happy.
Of course they knew there would be bad days … challenging days … days where I would want to give everything up. But they trusted me – and the lessons they’d taught me in terms of how to deal with life – to be able to work it out and keep moving forward.
It’s possibly the most wonderful, generous gift anyone could give their child.
It’s behind most of the things I’ve done in my life … from where I’ve worked, where I’ve lived and what I’ve done.
It’s also – contrary to popular belief – why I work bloody hard.
Because apart from the fact I deeply enjoy what I do [most of the time], it’s my way of repaying the faith my parents showed in me.
Showing them it wasn’t wasted or lost on me.
I’ll forever be grateful to them for it.
And hopefully so will Otis.
So thank you Dad. I miss you. I wish you were here for us to chat about the adventures.
Give Mum a kiss for me while holding her hand.
Rx
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Brand, Brand Suicide, Business, Chaos, China, Colenso, Comment, Communication Strategy, Creativity, Culture, Deutsch, Diversity, Emotion, Empathy, Experience, Family, Imagination, Innovation, Insight, Jill, London, Management, Marketing, Martin Weigel, Metallica, Nike, Otis, Planners, Planning, Point Of View, Purpose, R/GA, Shanghai, Singapore, Social Divide, Sport, Technology, The Kennedys, The Kennedys Shanghai, WeigelCampbell, Wieden+Kennedy
When you’re my age, you get to look at your career and see the different phases that it passes through.
I remember one year at Wieden, we seemed to make more beautiful, highly-crafted physical books on culture than we did ads.
Now I’m a huge fan of these – and still do them – but that year I think we made about 10, which was frankly ridiculous.
Then there was the year I got told I’d spoken at more conferences than anyone at Wieden.
It wasn’t said as a diss, more a fact – though I do remember Luhr looking at me with the face of someone who couldn’t work out why anyone would want me to talk at their event.
He wasn’t wrong.
Then there was the year I seemed to be in every bloody Asian marketing book or article and then of course, The Kennedys.
It happens. It’s rarely an intentional thing, but the nature of the business means it can be like that … and while I’ll always prefer to be involved in creating stuff, it does let you feel things are evolving and that’s a good feeling.
Well this year is another one of those years.
Part of this is because of the situation the World is in and part of it is because of the situation I have found myself in.
However, whereas previous years have seemingly had singular focuses, this year has had two.
Icons of culture and podcasts.
Both have been pretty awesome.
Musicians … Fashion superstars … Gaming Royalty … Billionaires.
Frankly people who should know a lot better than to ever want me to work with them … and yet, for reasons I don’t understand but am utterly grateful for, they have.
It’s certainly very different to the work I’ve done in the past, but it not only is introducing me to a whole new world of creative expression – from developing new concert experiences to video game design to stuff that is genuinely almost impossible for me to describe as it’s just plain beautifully bonkers – it’s letting me work with people who are recognised as being the best in their field so to be in this position … and to have Colenso to look forward to in addition … feels like winning the lottery.
I know this all sounds like humble bragging – but that’s not the intent.
To be honest, it’s more about me writing it down so I never forget this feeling.
This moment.
Because as tough as it is for people all around the World, I am very, very fortunate so many good things have come my way.
But that’s not what this post is about, it’s about the other thing I’ve been doing a lot of.
Podcasts.
I’ve done a ton this year.
[Here and here and here for example]
Why people want to hear from me – especially when I write so much bollocks about my life on here – is another thing I don’t get … but it’s been fun.
Recently the lovely/stupid people at Colenso had chat with me for their Love This podcast …
We cover all manner of subjects … from running a planning gang to developing creativity in a pandemic to how to be a fucking idiot … so if you’re bored, an insomniac or are jealous of Colenso’s brilliance and are looking forward to the pain they’ll experience with me in the building, you can listen to it at one of these places.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Childhood, Comment, Emotion, Empathy, Experience, Friendship, Fulfillment, Insight, Love, Otis
Contrary to retailers attempts, the official Christmas countdown starts now.
Of course, for some of you out there – including my wife and I – a loved one may also be having a birthday during this month as well, which just adds to the stress of what to get them.
Well I am here to help with a handy Christmas/Birthday guide …
Now just ‘any guide’ but something that will ensure you can give a gift that is tailor made for whoever you are buying it for.
All you have to do, is invest the time in knowing who they are, what they’re really interested in or what they wish eo explore.
Here it is.
You’re welcome.
Filed under: America, Attitude & Aptitude, Australia, Childhood, China, Comment, Culture, Daddyhood, Emotion, Empathy, Environment, Family, Home, Jill, Love, My Fatherhood, New Zealand, Otis, Parents, Respect, School
3 different nationalities.
4 different countries [In 4 different continents]
5 different homes.
4 different schools.
Two major long lockdowns.
All of this in just 6 – but soon to be 7 – short years.
And yet despite all that change … all that waving goodbye and learning to say new hellos … he remains a happy, curious, cheeky and compassionate kid.
And while he loved his life in China, America and the UK … he is blossoming in NZ.
Sure, some of that is because he has been able to get back into some sort of routine, meet new friends and play with other kids his own age – at least until Delta struck and he got locked down with his parents for weeks on end – but it’s more than that …
Outdoor life is a way of life here.
Being outside is no longer a conscious choice.
The line between indoors and outdoors is now very slim.
No need to change clothes. No need to wear shoes. Spontaneity is allowed to flow which – let’s be honest – is exactly how a kid should be able to live their life.
I’ve lived in similar environments before … in Australia and America for example … but whether it’s because I’m older or now live in a bloody treehouse or have a kid of my own, I appreciate it so much more.
Watching him be able to run around outside is a real privilege.
Of course, for people born here, that’s a normality … but I have lived in environments where that’s not the case, which is why even seeing him watch his iPad in the sun is something I don’t take for granted.
We cannot discount the importance of being able to play outside, but sadly many governments and councils seem to.
Viewing it as ‘a favour’ rather than a fundamental right.
Playing outside helps kids in so many ways.
Bond … learn … imagine … express … play … explore … compete … respect.
It’s not a ‘waste of time’, it creates a deeper foundation for life.
An ability to think outside of lines and others definitions.
Giving kids an environments where they can be outside is basically an investment in a countries future.
A nation of curious, interested, healthy people.
But not everyone gets this.
Some actively try to stop this.
Often people of immense privilege who either associate outdoor life as something for either the elite or the rough.
Fortunately NZ does not see it this way.
They revel and celebrate it.
They have the best parks I’ve ever seen in my life.
Parks made to enjoy and encourage kids to push their boundaries.
A new discovery of what you’re capable of with every visit.
And while for most kids it’s about developing, for Otis it’s also about grounding.
A place he can feel is his.
A connection to where he lives in a way he’s not had before.
Because while he is young, I do not underestimate what he has been through.
Fuck, there’s people I have worked with who have literally freaked out when asked to move office desks … and yet here’s my kid, who has moved countries, homes and friends and still embraces the possibilities of every situation.
So much of that is down to his brilliant Mum who has helped that change happen in the most comfortable, seamless way … but it still requires a mindset to look at what you’ll gain rather than just what you lose.
And while I know one day I’ll no doubt be dragging him off for another adventure somewhere else on the planet [but don’t worry, it won’t be for ages. Probably] I want you to know that I love you from tip to toe and let you know I’m so, so proud to be your dad.
Thank you Otis, you’re a little legend.