When I was in London, I went to Borough Market.
It had been years since I’d last visited, but the allure of TikTok videos saw me heading there early one Saturday morning.
I knew I was going to go a bit crazy with eating stuff – but in my defense – I live in NZ so I knew I wouldn’t be doing it very often.
When I arrived, I basically attacked it with military precision.
By precision, I mean I went straight in … sampling everything I had seen on the socials as well as anything that caught my eye.
And a lot caught my eye.
Breads.
Sausage Rolls.
Specialist sandwiches.
Fruit covered in chocolate.
Fancy pants pastries.
Doughnuts with exotic toppings.
You name it, I spent a fortune buying it, scoffing it and – if truth be told – being disappointed with it.
Not all, but most.
In fact, the best thing I ate was the easiest to make … the strawberries covered in chocolate.
Admittedly they were fucking good strawberries – and how can you go wrong with chocolate? – but even so, to have that as the tastiest thing I put in my mouth that day is pretty sad. That said, it does explain why that stall allegedly clears 20,000 quid profit a day.
A DAY!!!
[I know that sounds mad, but it came from a person in the know so don’t shoot the messenger]
What blew my mind was how packed it got …
People of all ages and places flocking to it like it was a new type of religion. Except instead of bringing bibles, they brought their cameras, smartphones and selfie sticks to flood their socials with more appetite illusion.
Me included, obvs.
Anyway, as I approached the whole experience like it was some sort of bizarre race, I was in and out within 2 hours … which is good, as I then proceeded to walk 29,000 steps to offset what I’d put in my mouth, but if it was based on taste rather than calories, I reckon I could have got away with about 40 steps.
Another reminder social media may wet the appetite, but its reality rarely satisfies.
Filed under: 2025, A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Confidence, Content, Context, EvilGenius, Relationships, Relevance, Revenge, Rivalry, Social Media, Stupid, Twitter, Viz
Monday.
On the second week of this blog of the new year.
So what better way to start it than a post from Satan about Jesus.
There’s a lot of talk at the moment about the dangers and damage the internet – specifically social media – can do. And it’s all true. But then, anything in abundance with minimal control will do that – albeit, it’s worse when the person ‘in control’ is the egotistical, arrogant, spoilt, delusionist, that is Elon Musk.
However, among all the darkness is light.
Glimpses of the brilliant madness that the internet offered us all in the earliest of days.
Where people found ways to use it that served little purpose other than to add colour, weirdness and humour to our lives. Things like Star Wars Kid or Eric Conveys An Emotion.
But one other place that was a beacon for the good weird was, at least in its early days – when it was 100% Bird and 0% X – was Twitter. And while it is now a cesspit of hate, porn and ego, it still has some magic on there and two of my fave people are God and Satan.
Given I am not religious at all, that may seem strange. But what is even stranger is that they often post shit that I find far more sensible or insightful than many of the self-professed geniuses on there. Or Linkedin.
Of course, what they write has zero to do with religion and more pisstaking out of it. But like The Stones vs The Beatles … Oasis vs Blur … Coke vs Pepsi … Democrats vs Republicans … Kodak vs Fuji or Delivereasy vs Uber Eats … they make it – intentionally or otherwise – a 2-horse race so the cultural narrative around the topics and subjects they represent or cover are sucked up and conducted by them or about them.
In other words, they have a disproportionate influence in the direction of how and where the category travels … meaning it’s harder for others to break in and mess with stuff.
Not impossible. But harder.
Of course, there is also the danger of it backfiring. Where you get so obsessed looking to your side to see what your core competitor is up to, you fail to see what is happening behind you. Or in front. Or around. Just ask Nokia, for example. However, when done well – and with the right amount of self-awareness and openness – the power of the 2-horse race is almost unprecedented in its ability to shape a cultural and category narrative in your favour.
Which all sounds incredibly serious given this is coming from a photo of a tweet where someone is pretending to be Satan and taking the piss out of the ‘virtue signaling’ of Jesus.
Maybe it’s funny because it’s challenges the righteous pomposity of Christianity.
Maybe it’s funny because we all know someone a bit like this.
[Minus the death/crucifixion]
Maybe it’s funny because it’s petty and that can be funny.
But whatever the reason, it’s good … but still not as good as this masterpiece about Skegness by the Mablethorpe Tourist Board, courtesy of the twisted brilliance of Viz:
God, 2nd week in and I’m already at the barrel scraping level of posts.
It doesn’t bode well for the rest of the year does it?
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Colenso, Colleagues, Comment, Communication Strategy, Complicity, Creative Brief, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Emotion, Empathy, Honesty, Leadership, Loyalty, Management, Marketing, New Zealand, OnStrategy, Perspective, Planning, Point Of View, Positioning, Relationships, Relevance, Reputation, Research, Resonance, Social Media
Late last year, the silver-tongued man with the honey voice – that’s Fergus of OnStrategy fame, if you were wondering – asked if we could do a podcast about our work with our latest client, Delivereasy.
I’ve always steered away from talking about work I’m a part of because – for all my ego – I don’t like the idea one person becomes the spokesperson for it. Especially a strategist. However on this occasion, I changed my mind … not just because it was Fergus doing the asking – and no one can say no to him, including Putin, probably – but the story behind how we ended up working together is funny and definitely about me.
Or said another way, about my inability to be professional.
And while the work we’re doing together has only just started … it’s already setting the foundation and tone for something special.
From the new logo we designed that had 17 members of the company tattoo it on themselves [Including one of the founders who had 1.5 million people watch it on TikTok resulting in him sitting next to someone on a plane from China, who recognised him because of it]
To promising the coach of the All Blacks a curry and naan bread every week if he brought back the Rugby World Cup to New Zealand./ [Which we downgraded to just a curry because he failed, ahem!]
To a bunch of ridiculous ads like the one above …
But better yet, there is sooooo much coming.
Mad, ridiculous and brilliant stuff.
And while I would say that, the reality is that with our situation, we know the only way we can win is to outsmart the competition rather than outspend them.
But what’s interesting is that while this approach is founded on a strategically sound argument, it can only happen when your client understands it as well as the implications of it.
And in this case, they do.
Not just strategically. But also in terms of the ambition we have for each other and what we want/need the work to be to help us get there.
Truth over harmony.
Transparency over power.
Trust over control.
The reason I’m telling you this is because you can hear what a great client sounds like by listening to the podcast.
Sure you’ll have to put up with me, but in the case of listening to Jean … you’ll definitely leave with a better taste in your mouth.
Have a great weekend and happy invasion, I mean Australia Day.
Filed under: America, Attitude & Aptitude, Australia, Authenticity, China, Content, Context, Corona Virus, Creativity, Culture, England, Environment, Government, Perspective, Social Media, Technology
So I’m back.
I had a lovely time and Croatia is proper beautiful.
I know that’s a big call given I spent 2½ days there, the rest travelling, but it was.
God I miss travelling.
You’d think after almost 20 years of basically living on an airplane, I’d be over it … but there’s something so magical visiting new places and meeting new people.
Of course the environment is even more important – and COVID has shown we can do a lot without having to be in the same room – however being in another country and culture is a powerful and important experience. Especially given all the nationalistic bullshit going on … so having people engage with each other in different environments and geographies – rather than just stay in their own bubble – is probably better for the state of the World than just keeping to your own shores.
Nothing highlights this more than the paranoia regarding TikTok.
All apps are harvesting data, but because the parent company of TikTok is Chinese, governments and business are telling their employees they can’t have the app on their phone.
And yet TikTok, unlike other social media firms, have not – as far as I understand – been caught using the data in illegal ways. And even if they have, I am sure it’s no where near to the level of other companies that have been caught.
But here we go … the classic racism and prejudice towards China.
I know I’m biased.
I also know China has many issues.
But as I’ve said many times, the actions of other governments are equally as bad … they just hide it better, package it better [if that’s what you can call something as sick as Guantanamo Bay] or use the focus on China to distract people more convincingly.
Then there’s the fact some of the stuff the Chinese Government do get away with – and they do – is other politicians wet dream. Specifically the Republican and Tory parties.
Anyway, I don’t know what the problem is because as you can see from the photo above, if TikTok thinks I’m 15, then the data they’re harvesting is nothing to worry about.
Oh hang on, unless that’s my mental – not physical – age, and then we have a lot to worry about indeed.
Sorry for the rambling, jet lagged, post.
I wish I could say tomorrow will be better, but we all know it won’t be.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Australia, Brand Suicide, Comment, Corporate Evil, Embarrassing Moments, England, Influencers, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Perspective, Positioning, Pretentious Rubbish, Revenge, Social Divide, Social Media
The media – and marketing – have perpetuated all manner of stereotypes over the years.
They spend enormous amounts of time and money painting psychological beliefs into society so they can profit from others shortcomings or vulnerabilities.
They don’t care if it destroys lives, to them that’s just canon fodder in the quest of riches, so everything is justifiable.
Which explains why we see so many things being labelled by the media and marketing industries … because it’s the perfect way to achieve mass social psychological manipulation.
You name it and they’ll have given a name to it.
Superfast.
Superfoods.
Superhair.
Supersoup
They’ll use a label to sell anything … from kale to self-help books to gender roles.
And while that is a fucking horrible way to behave, there is one thing that is pretty impressive and that’s their ability to not just never stop doing it … but to never stop inventing new bullshit labels to fuck with people.
Take a look at this …
A CEO body?
A fucking CEO body?
What does that even mean?
Do all CEO’s share a particular physical format?
I mean, I know Elon and Jeff went from dweeb to muscle mountains, but I’ve still met a bunch of CEO’s with very different body shapes to them.
Also, what sort of CEO are they talking about?
A CEO of a big company? A start-up company? A fast-food company?
Do they lead 3 employees or 33,000 employees?
Are they heading up a profitable company or a crypto disaster?
Do they write thought leader pieces on Linkedin or are they living in a social media blackhole?
And why are you only showing a man?
A white man.
Is it because you think only white men can become a CEO?
Have you inadvertently just explained the real reason behind corporate racism, prejudice and the glass ceiling all in one go?
And while I’m at it, can you explain what you mean by the term ‘midlife’ in your headline?
What is that?
Is it a specific number?
Is it 30?
What about 40?
I bet it’s a mid-number like 45 or something … just to mess with us.
Come on, don’t keep it to yourself. Is there a standard ‘midlife’ no one told me about.
You can tell me. I know at 52 I’ve likely passed it, but I’d still like to know.
Finally – and I really don’t want to be picky here – but why are you telling everyone what the 16 foods ALL men should be eating are?.
Is it CEO food?
Don’t CEO’s eat fancy and expensive stuff?
And if all men eat it, does that mean all men will become CEO’s?
How will that happen? Are there enough CEO jobs to go round to make that happen?
And what about the women who are CEO’s? Do they eat that food as well? Is that how they got to the top … they ate like a man and had a body like a man?
I’m so confused.
In fact the only thing that’s clear to me is how you’re using marketing labelling bullshit to add even more expectation and judgement on people’s lives just so you can attempt to profit even more from making society question how they are supposed to look and live.
All this coming from The Times newspaper.
The fucking Times!!!
Once the pinnacle of journalism and standards, now a peddler of utter horseshit.
Even more so when you think what their CEO’s body is like …
Maybe I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure no one would want to look like that, let alone be like that.
And if The Times think they do, it may help explain why their readership keeps falling.
Dickheads.
Oh I really enjoyed writing that.