Filed under: Advertising, America, Attitude & Aptitude, Brand, Brand Suicide, Corona Virus, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Daily Fail, Embarrassing Moments, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Planners, Positioning
So at the time of writing this post, we are all still in quarantine at home.
That means we are all still on endless zoom calls – where the only ‘entertainment’ we get is choosing some ‘crazy’ background, which – if I’m being honest – got old within 5 minutes of it happening so is now at near death levels of annoying.
But don’t worry, I’ve found something that is even worse.
This …
Yep, it’s Banana Republic rebranding their scarves as ‘video chat accessories’.
Seriously, what the fuck!?
What next, cups being sold as ‘video chat objects d’art’?
Or maybe pens being rebranded as ‘video chat conversation markers’?
Or even posters being pushed as ‘video chat mood enhancers’?
ARGHHHHHHHH!
The worst thing is I can imagine a planner coming up with something like this.
You know the sort, the ones who sell toothpaste as ‘smile architects’ or some other bollocks.
Look, I get in these tough times, they want to exploit any opportunity to drive some revenue … but it’s just shit isn’t it?
It’s also bollocks.
Because if they were going to sell any video chat accessories, surely they would be better off selling trousers or skirts because if anyone is like me, they’ve been wearing nothing but shorts for the last 6 weeks.
Banana Republic. You slipped on your own banana skin with this one.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, America, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Brand Suicide, China, Chinese Culture, Comment, Confidence, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Cunning, Embarrassing Moments, Fake Attitude, Food, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Mischief, New Product Mentalness, Packaging, Standards, Viz
The fast food industry is having a hard time.
As tastes change and a more healthy lifestyle becomes more desirable, it is getting more difficult for them to operate as they once did.
While some brands are evolving their offering – like McDonald’s – others are taking a more pragmatic perspective.
The most famous, recent example is the BK Mouldy Burger which ignited all manner of debate – often with people quick to say it won’t work without anyone actually knowing what the goal of the work actually was.
Well in South Korea there’s a burger company that makes BK look positively innocent.
It’s not just how they used Supreme to inspire their logo in a way Uncle Martian would be jealous of.
Nor is it their audacious copyright infringement of famous cartoon characters to talk about themselves.
And it’s not even their proud claims of being ‘100% Beef Meat’.
No … it’s none of those, it’s their utter confidence of their product over their competitors.
Take a look …
Amazing eh?
Not just the aggressiveness … but the choice of words.
Linking the words ‘burgers’ and ‘shit’ makes a mouldy burger look positively appetising.
Then there’s the fact it’s in English.
When I lived in China, there were a bunch of stores that used English in their copy.
Sometimes it was for the audience it was targeting.
Sometimes it was because they thought it made them look ‘sophisticated’.
But a lot of the time – as I think is the case here – they did it because it enhanced their ‘authenticity’.
Given burgers are very American, I feel their idea was that by using English and being aggressive in their tone, they encapsulated the American spirit and as such, could say their burgers were authentic.
Of course, given Burger King and McDonald’s are also American slightly undermines that idea, but hey – it doesn’t seem they really put too much thought into how they came across.
I must admit, when I saw it, I couldn’t help feel it was like a Viz fake-ad from the 80’s.
Viz – for those who don’t know – was/is an English ‘adult-humour’ comic.
Years ago, I approached them about starting an ad agency.
They said no, which still disappoints me as not only were their spoof ads brilliant, but based on both Billionbox and BK’s recent work … there’s more and more brands seemingly trying to copy their style but without the brilliance, clarity, humour or memorability as them.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Childhood, Confidence, Culture, Cunning, Dad, Daddyhood, Embarrassing Moments, Empathy, EvilGenius, Family, Fatherhood, Jill, Love, Nike, Otis, Parents, Resonance, Social Commentary
So I’ve been doing this advertising job thing for 30 years.
THIRTY.
And in that time, I've had the huge honour and privilege to work with amazing people around the world and do work that has achieved a certain level of fame and notoriety.
Because of that, I have been invited to speak at conferences all around the World … rubbing shoulders that frankly, I should have no right to.
The point of all this is that I've done quite a lot and achieved quite a lot.
Believe it or not, this is not a humble brag, in fact it's about to be a public humiliation.
You see a few weeks ago, while working from home, I was on video conference with a very senior member of NIKE's global team.
They were talking about some stuff, and realising I didn't have a notepad, I nipped downstairs to get a notepad.
When I came back, my client told me Otis had came in, done an impromptu naked bum dance at the screen, then ran out giggling.
To top it off, they said, “… and your son is still more professional than you”
Fortunately this client has known Otis since he was born so he found it funny – as would anyone really – and the meeting carried on as before.
Anyway, as I found this amusing, I put it on Twitter and LinkedIn as ‘the perils from working from home with a 5 year old’.
Within 3 days … THREE … it had achieved more views and shares than literally any conference, presentation, talk, blog post or tweet I’ve ever written.
In fact, it probably comes second to all of them combined.
ALL. OF. THEM.
Doesn’t matter if a talk of mine had been online for 10 years.
Beaten.
Didn’t matter if I’d written an occasionally topical blog post or tweet.
Beaten.
In 3 days, my sons naked bum dance had trounced all of them.
As of the time of writing, on LinkedIn alone, that single post has been read over 190,000 times, been shared 347 times, had over 3000 people approve it, had 100 comments and ignited over 220 different people – from big CEO/CMO’s to law firms – to ask to join my ‘network’.
Yes, my sons naked bum encouraged people to want to connect to me.
What sort of weird bastards are they?
[Of course I said yes, beggars can’t be choosers]
And while I can use this story at every birthday or celebration that Otis has for the next 30 years, nothing has highlighted how utterly futile my career has been than this.
Parents are said to always want their kids to go further than they have achieved.
Well he’s done it already.
At age 5.
Good job I love you with all my heart Otis.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Confidence, Creativity, Culture, Digital, Embarrassing Moments, Emotion, Empathy, Entertainment, Immaturity, Innocence
In these days of working at home, the possibility of making a video-conference disaster are quite high.
I’ve already had some ‘incidents’ …
For example I was on a concall recently and Rosie – our cat – decided that would be the perfect moment to release the World’s biggest hairball right by the microphone of the laptop.
That went down well.
Then there was the moment Jill and Otis thought it would be fun to fire water pistols against the window I was working from. What they didn’t know was that I – you guessed it – was on a concall again.
The photo at the top of this post captures that moment.
Then there was the second ‘cat’ incident.
I was on a video conference with a client when I noticed them smiling.
“Hey Rob …”, they said, “… your cat seems to have climbed your wardrobe”.
Now given Rosie is so old she won’t even jump on my lap, I looked behind me to see what he was going on about.
“Oh,” I replied, “that’s not my cat, that’s a cuddly toy”.
The client laughed and said, “Wow, it looks very life like” to which I responded …
“I hope so, I paid a fortune to have it made to look exactly like my cat”.
He quickly changed the subject, but he had that unmistakable look in his eye … the look of, WHY HAVE I LET THIS LUNATIC WORK ON MY BRAND?
But for all those incidents, nothing – absolutely NOTHING – compares to this …
Do I feel sorry for ‘Jennifer’?
Sure. But my god, it made me laugh.
I know for a fact if I was on a zoom call and did this in front of my team, not one of them would say a word.
Not because they would be wishing they were blind, nor because they’d be vomiting on sight … but because they’d be busy instagramming the shit out of it.
And I don’t mind telling you, I’d be very proud of them for their evil genius.
Then I’d release all the bad instagram photos I’ve taken of them.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Audio Visual, Comment, Cunning, Embarrassing Moments, Entertainment, Friendship, Loyalty, Management, Planners, Planners Making A Complete Tit Of Themselves And Bless, R/GA
So a while back, I wrote a post about Martin Bassot.
Martin worked for me at R/GA as a very talented comms/connections planner but then fucked off to Wieden+Kennedy.
Anyway, as part of his leaving present we gave him a jigsaw.
Of himself.
You see as one of his bucket list goals before he turned 30, he wanted to do a big jigsaw.
There’s 2 very big problems with the previous sentence.
1. He was incredibly talented and only TWENTY BLOODY NINE.
2. The other was he wanted to do a jigsaw as a life goal.
Christ!
Anyway, because I’m a bit of a prick, I found the photo of the one time he wore a suit for work [to pick up an award, the bloody corporate crawler] photoshopped it onto a pic of a ‘used car forecourt’ and made that the image of his jigsaw.
Zoom forward a few weeks and we caught up.
I told him it was because I wanted to see how he was doing, but it was really to make sure he was not letting Wieden down, as I still feel a ridiculous sense of loyalty to Dan, given all the mayhem I apparently caused when I was there.
So the call started off interestingly when the Crystal Palace supporting scum came onto the video chat sporting a background specially designed to provoke trouble.
[See photo at the top of this post]
He would have got away with it too had he not later sent me a photo of where he was at with the goodbye jigsaw.
Amateur mistake.
You see, at the time of writing this post, he has been gone from R/GA for 2 months.
THAT’S EIGHT WEEKS.
And not only was he working from home for most of that time, he had 2 weeks off sick …
That means, he had 1,344 possible hours to finish this jigsaw … and how much has he done?
This much …
And to think I thought he was one of the brightest minds I’d met.
Pah.
On the bright side, showing his jigsaw dyslexia to the World [or the 8 sad bastards who visit this blog everyday] is some sort of revenge for the Forest Shit zoom backdrop.
And yet I still like him and miss him.
I’m a saint. A bloody saint.
______________________________________________________________________________________
UPDATE:
Since writing this post, Martin sent me a message saying he had finally completed it.
Worse, he said it with a distinct ‘smugness’ in his tone.
OK, it was an SMS but I could still sense it.
So I sent him a 3000 piece jigsaw of this.
That’ll teach him.
Probably for the next year.
Cue: Evil laugh!