The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Kids Today …

So a while back, I wrote a post about Martin Bassot.

Martin worked for me at R/GA as a very talented comms/connections planner but then fucked off to Wieden+Kennedy.

Anyway, as part of his leaving present we gave him a jigsaw.

Of himself.

You see as one of his bucket list goals before he turned 30, he wanted to do a big jigsaw.

There’s 2 very big problems with the previous sentence.

1. He was incredibly talented and only TWENTY BLOODY NINE.

2. The other was he wanted to do a jigsaw as a life goal.


Anyway, because I’m a bit of a prick, I found the photo of the one time he wore a suit for work [to pick up an award, the bloody corporate crawler] photoshopped it onto a pic of a ‘used car forecourt’ and made that the image of his jigsaw.

Zoom forward a few weeks and we caught up.

I told him it was because I wanted to see how he was doing, but it was really to make sure he was not letting Wieden down, as I still feel a ridiculous sense of loyalty to Dan, given all the mayhem I apparently caused when I was there.

So the call started off interestingly when the Crystal Palace supporting scum came onto the video chat sporting a background specially designed to provoke trouble.

[See photo at the top of this post]

He would have got away with it too had he not later sent me a photo of where he was at with the goodbye jigsaw.

Amateur mistake.

You see, at the time of writing this post, he has been gone from R/GA for 2 months.


And not only was he working from home for most of that time, he had 2 weeks off sick …

That means, he had 1,344 possible hours to finish this jigsaw … and how much has he done?

This much …

And to think I thought he was one of the brightest minds I’d met.


On the bright side, showing his jigsaw dyslexia to the World [or the 8 sad bastards who visit this blog everyday] is some sort of revenge for the Forest Shit zoom backdrop.

And yet I still like him and miss him.

I’m a saint. A bloody saint.



Since writing this post, Martin sent me a message saying he had finally completed it.

Worse, he said it with a distinct ‘smugness’ in his tone.

OK, it was an SMS but I could still sense it.

So I sent him a 3000 piece jigsaw of this.

That’ll teach him.

Probably for the next year.

Cue: Evil laugh!

27 Comments so far
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First to comment. That’s what 3 hours sleep and an embarrassingly early client call achieves. Though that might be all it achieves today.

Comment by Rob

Assume you’ve already got a 4000 piece jigsaw waiting in the wings?

Comment by Bazza

I would guess he had supplies up to a 10,000 piece jigsaw.

Comment by George

Probably bought the company so he can keep doing this till it kills Martin.

Comment by Bazza

This is working for you in a post. Anyone thinking of working with you or hiring you should read this and then decide if he’s worth the hassle. They might say no and they’d be missing out because ignoring the annoying traits (of which there are many) it is an opportunity that is special and valuable. See Rob, that’s a compliment. It’s late here so it must be the tiredness talking.

Comment by Bazza

You can’t ignore the annoying, but the lessons, fight and loyalty you get makes up for it. Just. ; )

Comment by Pete

Though I have never got a custom jigsaw out of Rob. I got that long invoice as a leaving present. And because it was vertical rather than horizontal it looks strange on any wall I hang it on.

I’d prefer a jigsaw. Even Martin’s jigsaw.

Comment by Pete

Better than what I received.
Endless demands for freebies or discounts.

Comment by Bazza


Comment by George

Peter. The framing for your leaving card was very difficult to organise and cost a lot of money..

Comment by Katerina

Pete’s almost as selfish as Martin. Hahaha.

Comment by Rob

Sorry Kat.

Comment by Pete

pete. you want a fucking cheap shit jigsaw with a pixelated image of your face? well i wanted a fucking birthday present but none of you fuckers gave me a fucking thing so suck shit.

Comment by andy@cynic

and when kat is giving you shit youre a proper twat.

Comment by andy@cynic

Everyone had their fill of character assassination fun?

Comment by Rob

Just got started.

Comment by Bazza

I want to feel sorry for Martin, but everyone knows you save your most annoying traits for the ones you like the most. Though it could be for his anti-Forest stance.

Comment by George

Definitely the anti-Forest stance.

I doubled my revenge by using a dead eagle [part of the Crystal Palace’s logo] as my zoom background when we spoke last week.

I am nothing if not spiteful. Ha.

Comment by Rob

losing friends and alienating everyone as per fucking usual campbell.

Comment by andy@cynic

He’s so effective at it.

Comment by DH

If you haven’t completed a jigsaw that size by the age of 11, you clearly have intellectual deficiencies. If you want to complete a jigsaw that size after the age of 11, you clearly have intellectual deficiencies.

Comment by John

To be fair to Martin, working with me may have made his mental age go back to 8. Or maybe he is just intellectually deficient. Hahaha.

[I know you’re not Martin … though you did win that award for a reason, hahaha]

Comment by Rob

a fucking zoom background taking the piss out of a team that has taken the piss out of themselves every fucking saturday since the 80’s. is that all hes got? fucking wimp.

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by DH

About as threatening as the forest defence?

Comment by George

Wow … you went there George. Shall I start bringing up your ill-informed birthday cake purchases?

Comment by Rob

put your fucking handbags down pansyfucks.

Comment by andy@cynic

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