The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Pride Can Come Before A Fall, But It Can Also Make You Stick Things Out To Let The Impossible Happen So A Prick Doesn’t Win…

I have written before that apart from my friend Paul, I owe almost everything in my life to the fact I left the UK and went on an adventure.

Without that, I would not have met my wife … would not have had my son … would not have had my pets … would not be working with rock stars … would not have had all the life experiences and adventures I’ve been fortunate to enjoy and almost certainly would not have the career I currently enjoy.

That’s pretty huge when you think about it and while there’s a whole list of people I need to thank for making it all possible, one of them is an old boss.

Who was a prick.

I had a rather complex relationship with this individual.

Because while they were pompous, petty, condescending and rude, they were also smart, knowledgable and experienced.

On top of that, they gave me a shot on a couple of projects that they probably shouldn’t have. I should point out that wasn’t because they necessarily believed in me – it was more there was no one else to do it – but I appreciated it all the same.

Anyway, when I decided to leave – to go explore opportunities in another country – they were pretty pissed off with me.

While I’d love to say it was because they didn’t want me to go, the reality was they were frustrated I was leaving after they’d agreed to give me a payrise.

That this ‘rise’ was still below market rate and they’d fucked me around for literally 2 years, seemed to have completely slipped their mind … which is maybe why on the day I left, they thought it would be ‘funny’ to write the following comment in my leaving card.

“You’ll be back. Come crawling”.

I remember watching him going around telling people what he had written, laughing hilariously at his own ‘joke’ and while I didn’t take it too much to heart – because everyone knew he was a bit of a prick – it still hurt.

Little did I know then, how those 5 little words would play such an pivotal role in how my career would turn out.

You see, when I ended up in this other country, I initially found it very difficult.

Not just because I didn’t have friends, contacts or a job … but because my Dad was very ill back in the UK.

In all honesty, the temptation to go back was huge but there were 2 reasons I stuck it out.

1. I wanted to show my gratitude to my parents for supporting and encouraging me to go, despite them going through a terribly tough time because of my Dad’s major stroke.
2. Those 5 little words.

While I’d like to think the former was the biggest motivator, I fear it may have been the latter.

That’s pretty pathetic isn’t it … especially as I could have gone back without having to go back to that old job.

But I wasn’t going to let him have the satisfaction directly or indirectly.

And so I persevered.

Pushed, prodded, walked the streets, did shitty, temporary roles … anything that kept me from gaving to go back with my tail betweeen my legs.

And it everntually worked out.

Not because of any talent I did or did not have, but because of my perseverence.

And willingness to take any bullshit salary … hahaha.

But for me, getting a break was my main objective … because while I knew I was not the smartest strategst, I knew my work ethic meant I could out-work most.

Now don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that is a toxic trait – but it is my trait – and back then, it was a way for me to prove my worth to agencies/clients who didn’t have to give me a chance or keep me on board.

Of course, over the years, my motivation for continuing to explore the possibilities of the World and my career have evolved.

These days it is far more about wanting to feel I’d be making my parents proud than it is me reacting to 5 little words from a toxic, little manager.

But I also have to acknowledge that without that persons toxic motivation, it is unlikely I would be in the situtation I currently enjoy.

So thank you AC … you were a strange little man, but for all the fucked up shit you did – and there was plenty – you did one thing right, even if it was wrong.

And while I doubt you even remember me – let alone care what I’ve done – it doesn’t matter.

Because I didn’t come back and didn’t come crawling and so for that, I won, so there.

It’s Easter long-weekend that then leads into a big week for me/Colenso – from us hosting Fergus and his OnStrategy podcast to me saying goodbye [for the second time] to someone who is very special to me … so have a great weekend, overeat Chocolate and Hot Cross Buns and I’ll see you Tuesday.

Till then, this is for you AC.

With thanks.

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Noise Means Life …

I’m back.

But I barely survived.

Part of that is because my trip was full-on.

The other part is having a puppy is even more full-on.

Seriously, it’s like having a baby all over again. Fortunately, we loved that period of our life so it’s not too bad … but bloody hell, it’s also pretty demanding.

A few months ago, I wrote about how people in agencies should be taught ‘the art of conflict management‘ … but now I think the other skill we should all be taught is puppy training.

If that doesn’t teach you how to be patient and calm when facing a barrage of noise and needs, nothing will.

That, or go work in China, hahaha.

That said, it is lovely having a pet in the house again. As I wrote before, while Rosie was a small cat, she filled the house with her presence and personality – and while we still have had Otis’, Sky, over these months, it hasn’t been quite the same.

But now, with Bonnie, the house has a new energy in it.

Sure, it’s slightly manic and lacking any degree of peace … but that’s a small price to pay to have life bubbling again. No wonder my Mum loved it when I came home to visit her. Not just because she was very happy to see me, but because my friends would come around and suddenly the place was a bustle of noise and laughter … a rewind to what daily life was like when Dad and I were around.

I get it. I just wish I could tell her that I do.

What’s interesting is we didn’t meet our dog until we picked her up … so we were totally reliant on the breeder being smart with her recommendation. Not because we were being picky about its looks … but because in addition to being a family pet, she has to be a trained support dog for Otis, hence temperament is key.

Thanks to the training she’s received from the breeder – and us – so far, it’s been good, but like Rosie it will definitely take some time until we find our own unique rhythm.

Finding the rhythm is a magical thing.

Some of it comes from ritual. Some from the environment. But most of it comes from the interactions you have and keep having together.

But when you find it, it’s special because it evolves into a sort-of invisible bridge where you can come together in the middle … with the knowledge to understand the unsaid. To interpret different sounds and signs.

It’s why that quote at the top of the page made such an impact on me when I read it.

A reminder that one of the most powerful ways to know how much someone has impacted you, is to look for those traits in others. Not so they become who someone was, but because they show you the best you can be.

So welcome Bonnie. Thank you for what you’ve given us already.

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I May Be The Fool, But At Least I’m Not A Gullible One …
April 1, 2025, 7:15 am
Filed under: April 1, Bird, Bonnie, Cats, Dog, Family, Home, Jill, Otis, Rosie, Sky

It’s April 1.

Normally on this day, I undertake an elaborate ‘April Fool’ post.

There’s been some good ones in the past.

The ‘Method Planning’ post.
The ‘Sniffer Dog, Retail Location Scout’ post.
The ‘AI Human Robot Focus Group’ post.
The ‘Poetry Drives Communication Effectiveness’ post.

… I say good, mainly because some people fell for them and then repeated the ‘methodology’ without realizing they were actually publicizing their own gullibility.

That said, there have been many that have just been shit … and I don’t mean that just because people saw through them like a greenhouse.

But today there is no April Fool … both because I’m trying to come to terms with the fact we’re in month 4 of 2025 already and because later this week, the joke is on me – because in just 5 days, we welcome a dog, Bonnie, into our lives and home.

A puppy is very different to a cat.

More energy.
More dependence.
More biting.
More noise.
More trouble.
More mess.

And yet, despite all that, I have to say I’m very much looking forward to the house having an additional member in the place.

While we have Sky – Otis’ bad-tempered budgie – the loss of Rosie, is still felt … despite the fact that she slept for a lot of her final years, and no one feels this more than Jill.

She used to love having Rosie sitting next to her as she worked.

Snoozing on a pillow next to her computer. Occasionally waking up to quietly judge her or her work or demand that Friskies be fed to her by hand whenever she chooses.

It was a nice interruption given she spent a lot of time on her own while I was at the office and Otis was at school.

And while she likes the momentary peace and quiet she gets from us being away – going from 1000 decibels of noise to 1 is extreme.

For her, the silence becomes loud-as-fuck with the time passing slower than a snail.

It can be pretty lonely and intimidating to be honest … and while she has never complained about it, I know that’s one of the reasons why she has always loved animals and why they’ve always been so important in her life.

So while Bonnie will, for all intents and purposes, be Otis’ pooch … she, along with Sky, will be Jill’s workday colleague and after 20+ years of waiting for a dog, I’ve never been so happy to be the April Fool.

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The Gift That Keeps On Giving Is A Gift Of Mischief …

So I’m back and it was, as expected, amazing.

Obviously I have a deep love of Asia, but I have a special place in my heart for Vietnam.

Anyone who knows anything about history will understand the creativity of the place, be that its food, its art, its industry or its ability to find ways to beat every enemy who has tried to invade in the last 1000 years.

So it’s little surprise that Spikes Asia chose to hold their judging for the creative and strategy awards there … which meant I got to see some phenomenal work, some great friends and some awesome tourist stuff.

Oh, and my eye generally held up [but unfortunately not totally, hence trips back to the hospital and meds for a bit longer] but all in all it was a really fucking great week.

But I know there’s nothing worse than hearing someone talk about how great things were for them when you were stuck in the office dealing with shit so to try and win back some errrrrm, favour, let me tell you a little story.

One day – hopefully a long time in the future – my son, Otis, will go to a lawyer to hear the reading of his old mans ‘last will and testament’.

Hopefully, when he hears there’s not much left, he will find this post featuring the latest photograph someone has sent me linked to something I did to/for them a few years back [and let’s be honest, there are a TON of them] thinks, “my Dad was a mischievous sod”, rather than – as I fear – “my Dad went broke buying stupid shit to embarrass/take-the-piss out of people he loved”.

Mind you, given I love every fibre of that kid, its safe to say he will have a lot of stuff to remember me by.

Even if it might be [read: probably is] stuff he’d rather forget.

Oh well, beggars can’t be choosers.

Thank you for giving me a smile Donn … given I bought you that jumper back in 2018, it would suggest 2 things.

1. It may offer me the best ROI of anything I’ve ever bought in my life.

2. You should stay well away from Harper’s softball buddies Dad and his weird internet browsing habits.

Always looking out for you Donn. You special bloody human.

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Reaching The Other Side Of A Decade Long Journey Through Despair …
March 9, 2025, 8:15 am
Filed under: Comment, Dad, Death, Emotion, Empathy, Family, Love, Loyalty, Mum, Mum & Dad

I know, I know … I said I was away for a week – and I am – but I couldn’t let today pass without me acknowledging it, because today is the 10th anniversary of my Mum passing.

I’ve written a lot about this over the bast decade.

From what happened … to how it messed with me … right thought to how it changed how I do things and look at things.

And while all those things are still there … a decade later the feelings are far less connected to darkness and far more about the light.

I have to say, I am so relieved.

Mum was a wonderful human.
Full of compassion and curiosity.
Driven by a real sense of respect and justice for all.

For a very gentle, quiet woman, she was a force that you felt through her actions, her choices, her emotions and – when necessary – her words.

But most of all, I think of Mum as an incredibly dignified person and nothing reflects this more than how she prepared for what she feared most.

You see Mum was going into hospital for a heart valve operation.

It was a pretty common procedure, but at 83, she was aware things could happen.

She’d already delayed the operation by a few months to ensure I could be with Jill when Otis was born – another example of her selflessness – but even though things had initially gone well, sadly the condition of her heart was far worse than expected and within an hour of coming out of theatre, it ruptured and Mum died.

I’m so, so grateful I was with her and that she knew that.

She’d told me a few months before that her greatest fear was that she may die alone – like her sister-in-law had tragically experienced.

And while I would give anything to have her back, knowing I was there – as I was with Dad – has definitely helped me deal with the loss.

But it’s what happened after she passed that reaffirmed one of her greatest traits.

Her dignity.

Something she valued very much. Even in death.

You see, when she had died, we were going through some draws back at her house. In there, I found a book she’d been compiling featuring all the account numbers associated with her, all the contact information of her friends, and a compilation of stories and articles that she wanted me to see or know if the worst happened.

To do that both blows me away and breaks my heart …

Blows me away for the incredible generosity of wanting to ensure in my darkest hour, I am not being further impacted by the complication of trying to find or access information.

Breaks my heart because not only did it represent her acknowledging the potential of her death, but that she did it alone.

I don’t know how she felt doing this, I just hope that any emotional struggle she felt was softened by knowing she was doing something that was important to her. Important because I – as her only son – was her world.

She never left me in doubt of that. Ever. Even when we had little disagreements over the years …
Because the undeniable fact was she loved me and I loved her.

And I still do.

I’m so grateful and honoured she was my Mum.

Which is why, as much as today is a connected to something deeply sad in my life – she’d be very happy to know, the feelings I have today are far more associated with love than tragedy.

For all she did.
For all she was.
For all she continues to be in my life.

I love and miss you so much Mum.

Give Dad a big kiss from me.

Rx


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