Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Colenso, Collegues, Context, Doctor, Emotion, Empathy, Experience, Eye, Family, Friendship, Health, Nurses
Yep, that’s me.
Looking more and more like a pirate.
In fact all I need is a hook and a hat and my metamorphosis will be complete.
Sadly, I don’t look like this because I am going to a fancy dress party, I look like this because I’m going blind.
Good news. Only in one eye.
Bad news. The other eye is fucked from years ago.
I’ve written a bunch this year about my ‘new’ eye problem … how it seemingly came from nowhere when I was holidaying in Penang at Christmas.
I’ve also written how it is part of a rare, auto-immune disease that’s been triggered by the trauma my other eye experienced when I was 21.
I know, it makes little sense … but the upshot is my eye is getting worse – not better – which is humbling, frustrating and terrifying.
What makes it more painful is no one knows what triggered the disease in the first place, nor do they know what is causing it to sustainably resist all the treatment despite all the tests I’ve had, and having.
And boy, have I had a lot.
Injections.
Laser.
Drops.
Photographs.
Scans.
Blood-tests.
So many eye tests, I know all the letters without looking at them. Hahaha.
I’ve been seen by optometrists, surgeons, specialists and – because it is such a ‘unique’ problem – a fuckload of medical students.
Hell, the chief surgeon called me a ‘medical celebrity’ … possibly the best backhanded compliment ever articulated.
And while an operation in November will hopefully dramatically slow down the speed of my vision loss – potentially even restoring some of it – they’ve already told me I will be facing a lifetime of treatment and care.
The problem is my eye is a fucking diva.
The disease – if left untreated – will take away all of my vision.
The medicine for that creates massive pressure that can also take away my vision.
And the pressure meds are causing weird cataracts that are already robbing me of my sight.
[And no Andy, it has nothing to do with the size of font I use on this blog … though now, when I write a post, I have to make it so big that it could easily double as a fucking billboard]
So for the Doctors, it’s like a giant game of whack-a-mole, just with eyes …
Or said another way:
My eye is a perfect storm of fucked-up, pain-in-the-ass, one-in-a-million problems.
Aren’t I lucky, hahaha.
Now, before this gets too depressing, I appreciate that compared to many, I am in an incredibly good position.
I’m not just saying that, I mean it.
I have great doctors and nurses looking out for me, which I’m incredibly grateful for. On top of that, I’ve been brilliantly supported by everyone around me – including my team, everyone at Colenso, all our clients and the artists I work for, which is epic, because it’s definitely made life more difficult for them all.
Plus I’m in the best physical – eye aside – shape of my life.
Annnnnd the operation in November offers me some real hope and positivity about the future [for my eye, at least – ha] albeit it’s not a dead cert by any stretch of the imagination.
However I must admit, even with all this good stuff, the worry of seeing [excuse the pun] the potential loss of my independence is not a great feeling.
Without positive and successful intervention, my eye will be able to fuck me up in ways past bosses and colleagues only dreamed of pulling off:
From robbing me of my ability to drive.
To robbing me being able to travel with ease.
To robbing me of my ability to experience different forms of art.
To, albeit much, much further down the road, robbing me of my ability to work.
And then – worst of all – robbing me of my ability to see my brilliant son growing-up.
I know that’s all worse case scenario … I also know I’ll find a way to adapt if/when I get to this situation … but it doesn’t feel great. Though what’s strange is it’s less about the loss of my vision and more about the loss of my relevance.
By that I don’t mean in terms of my career – though that isn’t exactly awesome either, haha – but more in terms of being able to contribute to life:
My life.
My families life.
My friends lives.
My teams lives.
My colleagues lives.
My clients lives.
Societies life.
Maybe for the first time I’ve realized how important all that is to me.
Not because I see myself as some sort of’saviour’ or any bullshit like that, just I find real joy in helping people find theirs.
And while I am sure many people have experienced or discovered this revelation – be it because of age, gender or health situation – it served as an important reminder to me about what ‘value’ really means.
Because while titles, money, success and popularity are all very nice, feeling you’re connected and contributing to life is maybe even more vital.
How fucking ironic I’ve only been able to see this because I may not be able to see anything in the future.
Life certainly knows how to write the darkest of comedies.
And I certainly know how to write the most depressing post on a Monday. Ever.
Of course, the really bad news is that ‘talk to text’ technology means that even if the worst happens sooner rather than later, I can still rant on this blog. Which may sound terrible to you, but is quite lovely to me.
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As an aside, nothing has shown how much of a previous generation I belong to than trying to use ‘talk to text’. I “ummmmm” and “ahhhh” and take about 10 goes to say the simplest command or sentence … whereas Otis – who uses it a lot because of his dysgraphia – is clear and concise first time, every time. Regardless what he is expressing or trying to make a machine do. Proving I am from the generation where type was power, whereas the future – and kids – are all about voice
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But in all seriousness, while this post is depressing as fuck – I’m OK. I just needed to get it out of my system.
Not for sympathy or a cry for help, but just to get it out …
Because as weird as it may sound, now I own ‘it’ rather than ‘it’ owns me, and that’s helped me remember the one thing I know I’m good at which is being a fucking competitive piece of shit, so now I’m sure I can give it a good fight rather than let it have an easy win.
Even more so if the op in November goes well.
And if things do go south … then I’ll have a good excuse for my bad spelling and dress sense. Plus I’ll officially be more pirate than any person at TBWA will ever be. So they’ll either have to hire me into old age to maintain their agency positioning or I’ll get to Lord it over them for the rest of my days.
Win:Win:Win in every way.
Jesus, is this post ending on a high?
I think it is …
What fucking rollercoaster of a rant … but kinda perfect for a Monday.
So with that, have a good day, normal bullshit returns tomorrow. Promise.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Corporate Evil, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Technology
It would be Freddie Mercury’s 79th birthday today.
SEVENTY NINE.
But that’s not as amazing as the fact he has been gone 34 years and yet is still a force in modern culture and society.
For all the experts in ‘brand management’, there’s few who could claim to have increased the success and profitability of their brand despite it being ‘off the shelves’ for over 3 decades.
Which leads to the point of this post – and the choice of the photo above.
You see recently I saw this comment by author and video game enthusiast, Joanna Maciejewska.
I have to say I loved it.
I loved the sentiment of what she was saying.
The problem – as we all know – is too many company execs don’t properly respect the commercial value of art, writing or original thinking and so place it in the same bracket as laundry and dishes. Viewing it as something that can be outsourced to whoever can supply it at the lowest cost as the difference in standards is – in their view – negligible.
This is ironic on 2 counts.
1. Many of the companies who adopt this view are the ones who also claim to be ‘premium’.
2. Many of these execs actions, choices and behaviours are as predictable as doing the laundry and dishes.
I should point out – as I have many times in the past – this is not anti-AI.
It’s incredible. I love it and use it in a whole myriad of ways … and let’s be honest, the technology is still in its infancy and so there’s so many more amazing things to come.
However, the reason so many companies are wildly embracing it is because they see it as offering them new ways to optimise their profits rather new ways to liberate their possibilities.
Which is why I am increasingly of the belief AI doesn’t change what companies do, it reveals who they really are.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Apathy, Aspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Career, Collaboration, Colleagues, Community, Context, Contribution, Culture, Emotion, Empathy, Equality, Experience, Eye, Health, Jaques, Jorge, Linkedin, Loyalty, Management, Martin Weigel, Maya, Mr Ji, Paula, Pride, Purpose, Relationships, Relevance, Reputation, Resonance, Respect
Many years ago, I sent letters to anyone I felt had had an outsized impact or influence on my career, as it was then.
Some had been in my life a short time, some for many years … but all of them had made a significant difference to where I was and where I wanted to be.
And not one of them responded.
Nada.
Zilch.
Zero.
Eventually I reached out to one person to see if they had received it – fearing something terrible had gone on with the post.
“Robert, how are you?” … they said, as soon as they heard my voice … “are you OK?”
I remember how weird I thought their response was but reassured them I was fine and asked if they’d got my letter.
They confirmed they had and then – after a pause – asked if I was suffering ill health.
When I asked why, they told me they thought my letter was my way of saying goodbye to them before I died or something.
The irony was within months, I would get very ill, but I had no idea that was going to happen which is why my immediate response to their fears, was to piss myself laughing.
Fortunately, so did they.
And over the following weeks, I slowly heard from a number of the other people I’d written to who all had heard through the grapevine that rather than saying my farewells, I was simply expressing my gratitude.
The reason I say this is that recently, I started writing about another set of people who I felt I owed great thanks to.
There was no agenda other than to publicly acknowledge their importance in my life and my thanks for their talent and friendship.
At the time of writing this post, I’d written about Paula Bloodworth, Martin Weigel, Maya Thompson, Chris Jaques, Jorge Calleja, Clare Pickens and Jason White.
[There will be a ton more, but that’s all I’ve done so far … mainly because I have a job I have to pretend I’m doing diligently – ha]
Now, maybe it’s because people know this time I am suffering from ill health – specifically my eye – but the response to these celebrations, while different to the previous occasion I did it, are also quite similar.
In essence, they can all be summed up in 2 words: Gratitude and concern.
Gratitude for my words.
Concern for why I wrote them.
Now I appreciate my eye situation is getting very alarming, but this has been going on for almost a year so while I recently received less than favorable news …. this and my ‘Campbell Gratitude’ series are purely a coincidence rather than some sort of correlation.
But what IS concerning is how this reveals the true state of professionalism these days … in so much that the idea of someone saying nice things about someone else with absolutely no agenda, can only be explained away by them dealing with a major health issue.
Maybe this is what’s wrong with where we’re all at …
That no one should ever show generosity without having self-interest motivations.
Platforms like Linkedin haven’t helped …
For all their claims of being a place for the professional community, it has nurtured an environment where anyone who comments/likes or accepts a request entitles them to bombard you with unsolicited, irrelevant sales pitches or non-stop declarations of ego and bravado.
Mind you, let’s be honest it’s not just Linkedin is it.
From what I know, every dating site out there is doing exactly the same thing.
Claiming love. Championing self-interest gratification.
Look, I get it’s tough out there.
I also appreciate I am privileged as fuck.
But if we can’t say thanks to the people who mean a lot to us – simply because we want to celebrate to others WHY they mean a lot to us – then it’s no surprise we are promoting a culture of transactional interactions. The irony of which is that this literally undermines the chance of what all these people aspire to achieve.
Because as I wrote here, the most important and powerful relationships are based on your commitment to who they are, not what you want or can get out of them.
Like many words advocated by my industry, the meaning of loyalty has been completely fucked-with.
Changed beyond all recognition to justify self-serving actions and behaviors.
It’s why I love something I heard recently about how one person defined loyalty …
Someone whose entire business is based on appreciating what someone has done for them in the past, rather than simply evaluating them on what they can get out of them tomorrow.
“Always leave the dance with the person you came with”.
I love it.
I love what it means and how they expressed it.
There’s a lot of companies who could do with following that advice.
There’s a lot of professionals too.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Ambition, Aspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Career, Collaboration, Colleagues, Context, Corporate Evil, Corporate Gaslighting, Craft, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Distinction, Effectiveness, Emotion, Empathy, Fulfillment, Loyalty, Luck, Management, Mediocrity, Only In Adland, Perspective, Planners, Professionalism, Relationships, Relevance, Reputation, Resonance, Respect, Ridiculous, Strategy, Success
We live in a time where the idea of ‘having a career’ is becoming more and more resigned to history.
Not purely because of technology, but also corporate culture.
Where everything is for sale in the quest for profits and bonuses.
Values.
Reputation.
Distinction.
Differentiation.
Companies will kill any baby and sacred cow in a bid to look like they have a plan – even if that plan is becoming more and more short-term, next-quarter focused.
Meanwhile, they still splutter out the platitudes of ‘our people are our best asset’ while continually reducing roles, outsourcing training, lowering salaries and demanding complicity from whoever is left.
It’s the classic story of ‘biting your nose to spite your face’ and what is tragic is we all end up losing.
Employees.
Shareholders.
Clients.
Customers.
Society as a whole.
Hell, at some point we may all be living in a world of parity products that no one can afford because no one has an income that lets them buy anything.
Worse, it feels people at the top of many of these companies know this and so their whole approach to life is ‘make as much as I can then get out before it all falls down’.
Am I being bleak as fuck? Yep.
Do I really think it will end up this way? Quite possibly.
Not soon, but eventually … hell even Elon Musk has accepted a future where society needs ‘universal credit’ to survive and you can be sure-as-fuck his version of that is giving people just enough to stay afloat rather than challenge or thrive.
Which is why the concept of a career is potentially going to be consigned to the dustbin … or at least what a career used to be.
Because rather than meaning you have worked in one industry for your entire life – slowly working your way up the hierarchy – soon, it will evolve to being about using your skills across different industries and companies … finding the optimum moment to jump to gain the maximum value from your skills. I mean, it’s already happening that way but soon it will probably be the only way.
And while this will be the new definition of ‘career’, there will be one thing that remains the same and it’s this:
You won’t be able to say you’ve had a career, if you’ve not had to deal with loss and disappointment.
Loss and disappointment are rarely talked about in terms of career.
There’s this unspoken narrative that your evolution is always a perfect, singular, straight rising line. No detours. No backward steps. No mistakes or leaps. No bad choices and no changing of minds.
And frankly, that is utter bullshit.
Maybe 50 years ago this was the case, but even then I doubt it..
Not just because humans don’t aspire to ‘evolve’ at a constant, universal rate.
Not just because companies don’t elevate their people at a constant, universal rate.
Not just because there are people – and leaders in companies – who are fucking assholes, who actively mess with plans, promises and aspirations.
But because of all those reasons.
Having a career is as much about resilience as it is about talent.
Hopefully you can do it without having to endure too much of the bullshit that so many people have shared on the Corporate Gaslighting site … but we will all face disappointment and loss.
And while we all have the right to feel sad, upset, bitter about it when we experience it, the reality is what you do next ultimately defines who you are.
I’ve personally had a pretty great career.
I’ve generally worked for and with some amazing companies, colleagues and clients.
But not all.
There have been mistakes … little ones, temporary ones, one or two missteps and a couple of great big, fat, bastard ones.
And while I acknowledge some were absolutely of my own making, some were definitely due to people and/or companies actively – and in one case, willingly – wanting to systematically undermine my confidence and ability to do my job.
And while it fucked me up for a while – which I wrote about here – I was able to get through it and past it, ensuring that while my trajectory may have had some bumps, every step still had some big wins.
Which to me is what a career really is about.
Not title, but growth.
I know others may have a different point of view but mine was forged years ago by something a friend said.
Once upon a time, I was talking to a mate about a leader we both knew. We were talking about the work they’d done – specifically one campaign – when my friend said:
“That was 9 years ago, what’s he done since?”
Now while he was being overly dismissive, he did have a point – because the work this leader was universally known for, was something they’d done in the past, not the present.
Sure it was amazing work. Sure it was still talked about. But the reality is they hadn’t done anything in the intervening years that came close to making that sort of impact … and it was at that point I realized what a real career was.
Always building your portfolio of work, rather than just resting on one thing you’ve done.
And that has been both how I define ‘success’ as well as what has driven my choices and actions ever since.
Whether I have achieved this is up to others to decide, but I’d say I’ve got a good case for saying I’m doing OK … especially because I’ve worked bloody hard to try and make it happen.
Sure it has manifested in a lot of different ways – from books to ads to new products to stage set design.
Sure it has been with a lot of different people, companies and clients in a lot of different ways.
Sure it has been in a lot of different countries and cultures.
But I am pretty proud that wherever I’ve worked, I can point to something that was pretty special – either to the subculture, the country, the client, the agency, the department or the industry.
Again, I appreciate others are the ultimate judge of whether I’ve pulled it off … but for me, I’ve always wanted a career of highs rather than titles which is why I’m proud I’ve been able to do it in a way where I can look at myself in the mirror and feel I have stayed true to who I am and what I believe as well as be in the fortunate position that – despite my age – I’ve been able to continue to evolve and grow, as demonstrated by the fact that over the past few years I’ve been able to enter a new chapter of my creative career with the work I do for a small number of very high-profile artists.
If truth be told, that came about by luck rather than talent … but I didn’t take it for granted, I ran at it. Not because I wanted to be able to say I work for Rockstars, but because I wanted to be able to do stuff I never could have imagined I’d do.
Creative highs, not professional titles.
Or as my parents always drilled into me, fulfillment over contentment.
Yes, I appreciate I have a pretty senior position … but as much as I love the job and helping teams of talented individuals create their own creative highs … the thing I love most is that I continue to face loss and disappointment, because at the end of the day you only experience that if you’re still doing what you love.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Confidence, Content, Context, Curiosity, Emotion, Empathy, Harmony, Honesty, Individuality, Meetings, My Childhood, Relationships, Relevance, Resonance, Respect
Recenty I met someone who had a profound affect on me.
I didn’t know them before we met.
I didn’t even know of them before we met.
But circumstances meant we met – via Zoom – and almost from the moment we talked, I felt a deep connection to them.
An immediate appreciation and understanding of who they were and what they were working towards … helped by their generosity of transparency and honesty.
Now we may like to think everyone we meet is like that, but we know that’s not really the case.
Even with people we know, we often express with a level of guardedness … but not with this individual. Oh no …
Within seconds all barricades were down and we had entered conversation of almost breath-taking honesty and detail.
At least that’s how I felt – hahaha.
Even looking back on it, I don’t know how – let alone why – this happened so quickly with them, but it did.
Maybe it had something to do with the fact the conversation had no agenda?
Maybe it had something to do with the fact we discovered we had some shared contexts?
Maybe it had something to do with both of us being genuinely curious and interested in how the other saw life?
Who knows, but after the call, I was left dealing with a whole range of emotions and feelings.
Confusion.
Exhilaration.
Contemplation.
Elation.
All topped off with a sense of disappointment it was over and a hunger to do it again.
Now, if truth be told, this not the first time something like this has happened …
Sure, the effect they had on me was unique to them, but I’ve definitely had similar experiences that have felt like a seminal moment.
Where I’ve met or talked to someone I would always remember.
Where there have been thoughts and questions raised that I’ll never forget.
Where they’ve felt like we’ve been connected for decades, when sometimes it’s been for less than a day.
Overall, a sense of overwhelming gratitude and amazement of encountering someone who was willing to throw all of who they were into the moment we were interacting.
Call me cynical, but for me, the only people who can do this are either those with supreme confidence, psychopathic tendencies or a comfort in their own vulnerabilities.
And while this person had some traits of the former, they definitely didn’t show any of delusional – something I’m pretty attuned to – which means their openness was born through their acceptance and awareness of their truth, while also feeling they were in a safe environment – and with a safe person – to express themselves without caution or limits.
As compliments go, that is maybe one of the most beautiful anyone can ever receive.
But what makes this even more special is that when this happens, it has the same effect on the other party. And it did … because I found myself being able to express myself in a way that ensured our conversation transcended transactional and became deeply personal.
Or said another way, it was one of those increasingly rare conversations that felt like a gift … a gift wrapped in our focus, curiosity, authenticity and deep compassion.
No judgement.
No expectation.
No agenda.
It was an experience that reaffirmed how lucky I am.
That aged 55, I still get to engage and encounter the new and interesting.
People who are willing to place and share new ideas, new considerations and new perspectives in my life.
Ideas that can trigger, remind or challenge the various beliefs I’ve held on to for – sometimes – all of my life.
Not because of arrogance, but because they are kind and willing to be vulnerable for you.
How incredibly wonderful.
Of course I shouldn’t be so shocked I still get to have this, given how my parents were …
My Dad with his incredible capacity to talk and connect to anyone …
I’ve mentioned how, when I was a teen, Dad would a bring a homeless person to our house – promising them a bath, a feed and a good night sleep in a warm bed – if they promised to talk to me about their life because he wanted to ensure I respected everyone has a story and that life is as much about good fortune as it is effort.
I must admit I hated it at the time, but now I’m older, I’m in awe.
And then there was Mum, the most compassionate and considerate person I have ever met.
Always interested in what others were interested in – regardless of age or background – as she saw them as a way to learn more about life. To get a bigger perspective of the world, which in turn, would allow her to contribute to more in her world.
And while I’m not as good as my Mum or Dad, I am a product of them … so accept I have gained some of their incredible abilities.
I certainly enjoy talking to people.
I definitely love understanding what people care about.
I deeply value learning the perspectives of those who are unlike me.
But while this person answered all of these elements, they were more than that.
Because not only did they let me see more of who they were, they helped me see more of who I was, too.
Stuff I may have not paid much attention to, or thought about or even locked away because of what it signified or triggered.
And while I may never speak to them again – let alone be in a situation where I will be in the same room as them – I will forever be grateful to them.
Because they served as a great reminder that the richness of life is not simply about what you do in it, but what you allow it to bring to you.
And they gave me a lot. Including a fuckload of questions I’m asking myself … hahaha.
At a time where we’re increasingly sitting behind desks and studying humanity through datapoints, let this be an advertisement for human interaction.
Because not only do they reveal the nuances data rarely see, they trigger the emotions, data will never be able to feel, let alone express.
John le Carre once stated, ‘a desk is a dangerous place to view the World’.
He could well have added,
‘Humans let you see the world, but certain individuals will take you to the most exciting corners of the universe’.