To be honest, I’m not entirely sure when they will start again – hopefully in a couple of weeks, as I have a bunch of shit to write to close the year out with.
However the reality is this is the first time since I started this blog, where there’s no pre-written posts whatsoever.
Zilch. Nada. Nothing.
Now I appreciate this must be the perfect Friday news for you, but for me it’s less positive because its driven by the fact I have my eye operation on the 12th and what happens after that, dictates a lot about how a lot of things in my life then turn out.
The good news is there’s some hope. Not masses, but some.
The other good news is whatever happens, at least we’ll know where we stand pretty quickly so I can start planning – or hopefully celebrating – within a day or two after the op. Well. I say that, but there’s 4 critical time periods of which one is seven bloody months away thanks to the optic nerve working in slow-mo, or something.
But the reality is I’m pretty nervous about it for a whole host of reasons.
One is because a lot is riding on it …
Two is you don’t get the chance to know when a week could change your life very often, and I do … which just adds to the anxiety I already am feeling.
And finally, the last time I was in a situation like this – that resulted in me writing a post like this – the result was my life turned to shit. At least for a bit.
Now the situation between then and now is very different, but it still has me feeling really unsettled however one thing that has really helped is the support I’ve received from all of my doctors and nurses, family, friends, team, colleagues, clients and – bizarrely – strangers on different platforms of social media.
I say ‘bizarrely’ because my experience of a lot of social media platforms these days is it’s full of horrible, judgemental, egotistical rude pricks … and yet, when I have talked about my situation, I’ve been met with nothing but compassion and kindness and I can tell you, not only did that shock me, it also has made a real difference to me.
That said, it has also revealed some people who haven’t been all I thought they were or would be.
Most have had their heart in the right place, they just lack awareness of when to shut-the-fuck-up, hahaha … but some.
Well, put it this way … it’s the equivalent of discovering someone you went to school with is a raging racist and after the shock, you just realise they’re a pretty ugly human fullstop.
But that’s the minority because – as I said – most have been amazing.
The thing is – and I get this may come as a surprise to some, given I’ve shared all manner of personal stuff on this blog over the past 2 decades – the reality is I never tend to share stuff like this, I tend to keep it to myself … at least until it’s all well and done. However this time was different – probably because the impact of it made it impossible to hide – so I’ve had the very unusual experience of not just feeling most people wanting to help, but liking it too.
Jesus, what does this say about me, hahaha.
On top of all this, I have is the Metallica boys coming to this part of the world for the first time in a very, very long time and I am supposed to be doing some stuff for that.
While no one is expecting me to do it – given the eye situation – I really want to.
My involvement with their tour work has always been basically zero – I’m simply their cat-litter tray for their other projects – however given the last time I saw them was in LA, back in September 2023, and all the times they’ve played where I’ve lived, I’ve found myself overseas … this is a chance for me to be part of something extra special given the time they’ve been away from NZ and the situation with my sight.
That said, they have played a role in my health that I can’t go into but will be eternally grateful for … so whatever happens, I am eternally grateful they are in my life and I will even make sure Lars has his fave tea when he comes round to check on me.
Maybe, Haha.
What this all adds up to is that I am going to be quiet for at least 2 weeks and we’ll see what happens after that.
It could be longer, it all depends on the op … but I am going to isolate myself from the world in that time.
Anyway, I really want to end this miserable bastard of a post on a bit of a positive, so to do that I’m going to leave you 2 things …
First, here’s a picture of me in a suit.
No, that’s not AI, it’s real.
I’m in a suit. A suit I bought. That cost me a bloody fortune.
Given I didn’t even wear a suit for my wedding or my parents funerals, this is a VERY big deal.
But if you thought that was the funniest part, wait a second … it gets better.
Because rather than this being undeniable proof the condition of my eye has made me lose my mind … the reality is I bought the suit for a very special dinner I was supposed to have with a very special person in London back in October. Except – as I wrote here – they only went and bloody moved it to 2026 didn’t they!!!
See, told you it got better. Or for me, worse.
OK, so that’s step one of my ‘mood lightening’ agenda.
Step two is something altogether different …
It’s a clip of one of the most wonderful performances I’ve watched in a very long time.
It features Stephen Wilson Jnr. singing the Ben E King classic, ‘Stand By Me’.
There’s so much to love about it, but performance aside, I have to say I love how the host looks increasingly bewildered as the song unfolds … as if he cannot fathom how this incredible majesty of sound is unfolding right in front of his eyes.
It’s a reminder that while anyone can sing a song, only a few can truly own a song – and they don’t do that through technical ability, but emotion.
Talking of emotion, I just want to say thank you all again. You’re ace and I hope I get to ‘see’ you all soon … literally and metaphorically.
Once upon-a-time, I hired a head of planning for NIKE at Wieden Shanghai.
They’d come to my attention via a colleague who’d worked with them in the past.
On top of that, they had a good pedigree of work and – just as importantly – they loved sport.
I was excited to welcome them into the team and everything was good … until it wasn’t.
One evening, I received an email saying they’d thought about it and didn’t want to do it.
I understood the cold feet, they were US based and I was asking them to move to China … but we had spent a lot of time discussing this and they had assured me they were up for it.
And they probably were – when it was theoretical.
Everything is fine when it’s theoretical.
The problems always lie once you move to reality.
What bugged me was this person refused to get on the phone to discuss it. They sent their email and in their mind, that was the only correspondence they were going to enter into.
Was I pissed?
Yeah, initially I was … because we’d invested a lot of time and effort into helping this person get a good taste of what the opportunity was, what life was like here and what we’d do to make their move as easy as possible. Add to that, I always take huge responsibility when bringing people over from another country and it all felt like they had just wasted our time a bit.
But by the emorning, I was fine with it.
In fact, I was bloody happy about it.
Because if they didn’t want to come to us, I sure as hell didn’t want them to be with us.
Now I appreciate that may sound cold as hell – and I was grateful they made the call before they actually moved here – but I haven’t got the time to waste on people who aren’t excited about what they could be doing and learning and who only want to repeat or surround themselves with the stuff they know and have done.
We used to have a lot of those people apply to be at Wieden Shanghai.
Same with Colenso, albeit to a lesser degree.
People who want to work at the agency, but don’t want to move for it.
Oh they say all the right things.
They complain about all the right things.
But then you realise they don’t want to change any of the things.
They prefer to be a blame thrower rather than an opportunity grabber.
I find that bonkers … especially for strategists … but it happens more than you could ever imagine. People only focusing on what they lose rather than all the things they gain.
And you gain a lot. In every single possible way.
But that’s not what this post is about …
Because the person I hired to replace the person who walked away, was the brilliant Paula Bloodworth.
THAT Paula Bloodworth. The fucking weapon of strategy and creativity.
A person with a reel that is better than entire agencies, let alone strategists.
And while I take absolutely no credit for all she has gone on to achieve, I do express my gratitude to the person who pulled out the job.
Had they not done that, Paula would not have entered my life … and given she is one of the most important people in my life – not as a colleague, but a full-on friend – that is something I feel eternally grateful for.
In many ways, my job at Colenso followed a similar story.
They’d hired a CSO from Australia, but before they could move, COVID happened and they realised they didn’t want to leave where they were.
Had that not happened, I’d likely still be in the UK or back in the US … rather than at a place that is increasingly more special to me with each passing year.
‘Accidental Luck’ is everywhere …
Hell, we’re in talks with someone who embodies this on steroids.
Where they sent a VERY speculative email at the very moment a candidate we were talking to, pulled out.
OK, it helps they’re talented and have a ton of potential we see and can/will grow … plus there’s the good fortune we have a new client who is not only based in the very country they’re from, but also works in the same category they’ve been focused on for the past few years and they want to become what they want have always wanted a brand in that category to be … but suddenly a person we may never have known – let alone hired – could be someone we get to call a brilliant new member of our strat gang soon.
Hopefully.
For fucks sake, hopefully, hahaha.
[And if they don’t, they don’t – we all move on – however the real lesson they need to understand is what I write about next in this post … that is if they read this blog, which they don’t. Which is another sign they’re smart … haha.]
Which goes to the point of this post.
We can plan our careers to within an inch of their life.
We can study and follow the latest theories and systems.
We can spend time looking at every possible permutation.
We can demand every part of the job is described in minute detail.
Hell, we can even write 20 Linkedin posts a day, every single day.
But none of that – absolutely none – matters as much as being ready to act when the opportunity strikes.
Yes, it’s nice to think you will always have companies come to you.
Yes, it’s nice to think you will always have options and choices.
But often, the best thing you can do for your career is be ready to go when someone else isn’t.
If I am being honest, I owe pretty much everything I have ever done to the fact I’ve always been willing to move to wherever the best opportunities was located and then work my ass off to make great things for them.
Or said another way, if I heard of something exciting [and credible] was on the table, I was on the plane.
No if’s.
No buts.
No umming and ahhing.
I was sprinting towards it.
Doesn’t matter if it was an agency in China, an artist in America or a fashion designer in Italy … if it is interesting, intriguing and scary-as-fuck, I am there.
Now of course I appreciate not everyone has the ability to do this.
I also understand that ‘moving countries’ for a job has become infinitely harder.
And I get that there are occasions where opportunities can turn into fucking nightmares.
[Though that’s very rare as long as you stick to the rule that is detailed a bit further below]
But this isn’t really about your willingness to move countries – though that can help – it’s more about your hunger to go after what excites and interests you …
That doesn’t mean a role has to be perfect.
Frankly, when companies say there are no faults, that is ALWAYS a red flag … it’s more about whether the opportunity excites you and if the company and the person who will be your boss have a track record of consistently doing good shit. Maybe not pulling it off every time, but always pushing to do interesting things and having a on-going history of doing it.
It’s how I ended up working at Wieden … which definitely isn’t perfect.
It’s how I ended up working with Artists … who definitely aren’t perfect.
It’s how I ended up working with amazing creatives … who definitely aren’t perfect.
It’s important, because for all the good things the Bloodworth’s, the Weigel’s – and dare I say it – the Campbell’s have achieved, one of the biggest reasons for it is whether it’s a boss, a team, a company, a client or even a creative opportunity … we never, ever, ever look a gift-horse in the mouth.
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Because on the positive it would be my brilliant Dad’s 87th birthday … but on the negative, it reminds me that he has been gone 27 years.
Or said another way … almost half my life.
HALF!
That seems both impossible and insane.
Of course, because I think about him so much, he has never truly ‘left me’, but I also begrudge the fact I’ve not been able to share so many of the experiences I’ve had in the intervening 27 years that I’d have loved to have shared with him to see, hear and learn his response and reaction to.
I never got to introduce him to my wife, my son, my cat, my dog and Otis’ bird – Sky.
I never got to talk to him about Singapore, Hong Kong, China, Japan, America, New Zealand.
I never got to seek his advice on dealing with challenges, loss, possibilities and tough choices.
I never got to watch his face as I told him about my career, clients, colleagues and work.
I never got to hear his laugh as I helped him enjoy the experiences, he always wanted to try but never had the chance to do.
But most of all, I never got to keep telling him how grateful I am for the person he is and the person he helped me become.
The irony – as I’ve written before – is that so many of those things I’ve not been able to share with him happened because I am driven by a desire to make him and Mum proud. To repay the love and faith they always showed towards me … whether that was when I was failing exams or when they told me I should still travel despite the fact Dad had experienced a terrible stroke.
So to my wonderful Dad ….
You may not be here but know you’re with me every day … which I know you’d be very happy about, even if I also know you’d also be telling me ‘that I have to get on with my life rather than be held back by yours’, hahaha.
So, with that let me end this post by reassuring you that you – and Mum – never held me back. In fact, you’re two of the biggest reasons why I’ve been able to – and want to – keep moving forward, because in many ways, it’s not just how I repay my gratitude for all you did [and continue to do] for me, it’s how I can say – and show – how much I love you.
And I do. A shit-ton.
So happy birthday Dad.
I send you – and Mum – a big kiss and hug.
I hope you’re holding hands and smiling at the life your son is living more than frowning,
On the bright side, while I still seem very capable of causing all manner of trouble, at least the stuff I get up to these days has a lot less ‘police involvement’ than my earlier years, which has to be a positive doesn’t it? Haha.
Miss you.
Rx
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In fact all I need is a hook and a hat and my metamorphosis will be complete.
Sadly, I don’t look like this because I am going to a fancy dress party, I look like this because I’m going blind.
Good news. Only in one eye.
Bad news. The other eye is fucked from years ago.
I’ve written a bunch this year about my ‘new’ eye problem … how it seemingly came from nowhere when I was holidaying in Penang at Christmas.
I’ve also written how it is part of a rare, auto-immune disease that’s been triggered by the trauma my other eye experienced when I was 21.
I know, it makes little sense … but the upshot is my eye is getting worse – not better – which is humbling, frustrating and terrifying.
What makes it more painful is no one knows what triggered the disease in the first place, nor do they know what is causing it to sustainably resist all the treatment despite all the tests I’ve had, and having.
And boy, have I had a lot.
Injections.
Laser.
Drops.
Photographs.
Scans.
Blood-tests.
So many eye tests, I know all the letters without looking at them. Hahaha.
I’ve been seen by optometrists, surgeons, specialists and – because it is such a ‘unique’ problem – a fuckload of medical students.
Hell, the chief surgeon called me a ‘medical celebrity’ … possibly the best backhanded compliment ever articulated.
And while an operation in November will hopefully dramatically slow down the speed of my vision loss – potentially even restoring some of it – they’ve already told me I will be facing a lifetime of treatment and care.
The problem is my eye is a fucking diva.
The disease – if left untreated – will take away all of my vision.
The medicine for that creates massive pressure that can also take away my vision.
And the pressure meds are causing weird cataracts that are already robbing me of my sight.
[And no Andy, it has nothing to do with the size of font I use on this blog … though now, when I write a post, I have to make it so big that it could easily double as a fucking billboard]
So for the Doctors, it’s like a giant game of whack-a-mole, just with eyes …
Or said another way:
My eye is a perfect storm of fucked-up, pain-in-the-ass, one-in-a-million problems.
Aren’t I lucky, hahaha.
Now, before this gets too depressing, I appreciate that compared to many, I am in an incredibly good position.
I’m not just saying that, I mean it.
I have great doctors and nurses looking out for me, which I’m incredibly grateful for. On top of that, I’ve been brilliantly supported by everyone around me – including my team, everyone at Colenso, all our clients and the artists I work for, which is epic, because it’s definitely made life more difficult for them all.
Annnnnd the operation in November offers me some real hope and positivity about the future [for my eye, at least – ha] albeit it’s not a dead cert by any stretch of the imagination.
However I must admit, even with all this good stuff, the worry of seeing [excuse the pun] the potential loss of my independence is not a great feeling.
Without positive and successful intervention, my eye will be able to fuck me up in ways past bosses and colleagues only dreamed of pulling off:
From robbing me of my ability to drive.
To robbing me being able to travel with ease.
To robbing me of my ability to experience different forms of art.
To, albeit much, much further down the road, robbing me of my ability to work.
And then – worst of all – robbing me of my ability to see my brilliant son growing-up.
I know that’s all worse case scenario … I also know I’ll find a way to adapt if/when I get to this situation … but it doesn’t feel great. Though what’s strange is it’s less about the loss of my vision and more about the loss of my relevance.
By that I don’t mean in terms of my career – though that isn’t exactly awesome either, haha – but more in terms of being able to contribute to life:
My life.
My families life.
My friends lives.
My teams lives.
My colleagues lives.
My clients lives.
Societies life.
Maybe for the first time I’ve realized how important all that is to me.
Not because I see myself as some sort of’saviour’ or any bullshit like that, just I find real joy in helping people find theirs.
And while I am sure many people have experienced or discovered this revelation – be it because of age, gender or health situation – it served as an important reminder to me about what ‘value’ really means.
Because while titles, money, success and popularity are all very nice, feeling you’re connected and contributing to life is maybe even more vital.
How fucking ironic I’ve only been able to see this because I may not be able to see anything in the future.
Life certainly knows how to write the darkest of comedies.
And I certainly know how to write the most depressing post on a Monday. Ever.
Of course, the really bad news is that ‘talk to text’ technology means that even if the worst happens sooner rather than later, I can still rant on this blog. Which may sound terrible to you, but is quite lovely to me.
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As an aside, nothing has shown how much of a previous generation I belong to than trying to use ‘talk to text’. I “ummmmm” and “ahhhh” and take about 10 goes to say the simplest command or sentence … whereas Otis – who uses it a lot because of his dysgraphia – is clear and concise first time, every time. Regardless what he is expressing or trying to make a machine do. Proving I am from the generation where type was power, whereas the future – and kids – are all about voice
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But in all seriousness, while this post is depressing as fuck – I’m OK. I just needed to get it out of my system.
Not for sympathy or a cry for help, but just to get it out …
Because as weird as it may sound, now I own ‘it’ rather than ‘it’ owns me, and that’s helped me remember the one thing I know I’m good at which is being a fucking competitive piece of shit, so now I’m sure I can give it a good fight rather than let it have an easy win.
Even more so if the op in November goes well.
And if things do go south … then I’ll have a good excuse for my bad spelling and dress sense. Plus I’ll officially be more pirate than any person at TBWA will ever be. So they’ll either have to hire me into old age to maintain their agency positioning or I’ll get to Lord it over them for the rest of my days.
Win:Win:Win in every way.
Jesus, is this post ending on a high?
I think it is …
What fucking rollercoaster of a rant … but kinda perfect for a Monday.
So with that, have a good day, normal bullshit returns tomorrow. Promise.
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But putting aside the fact that in America right now, you don’t get to define who you are – or who you can be – the Government seem to be doing that [or should I say, ‘dictating’ that], the reality is moving to any new place enables you to reinvent or add to yourself.
It’s a wonderful feeling … to start again or to not be held back by past perceptions. It’s like a rebirth … but the challenge is being able to resist the urge to go back to comfortable.
The nice bits.
The easy bits.
That doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice everything you love, but the secret to reinvention is to be open to everything new.
I think I’ve written about the time I met someone who had just moved to Shanghai who asked me where they could get their favorite Belgian cheese … and I replied, “Belgium?”
I get when you move you want to have some things that give you comfort, familiarity and stability … but when you are trying to replicate the life you once had, then it’s highly likely you’re not going to find moving city/country works for you.
Or you’re not going to get as much out of it as you could.
Always looking back.
Always finding the faults.
As I’ve said a lot, too many people approach the idea of moving with the fear of what they’ll leave behind rather than the excitement of what they can gain. I get it, that’s normal … but at some point, you have to make a decision and embrace the ups and downs of all that will come of it – especially in the early days.
Staying in one place forever, is perfectly fine.
Being happy and comfortable where you are is a beautiful gift.
But if you want to see who you are or who you can be – and you don’t have contexts, circumstances or issues that demand you to stay where you are – then the most powerful way to do that is to change where you live.
It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.
Which is why – much to our bank managers annoyance – we’re not done with it. Hahaha.
[Just to be clear, this is not an announcement we’re moving countries again. It’s just saying we’re not moving countries yet]
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