As many of you know, my best friend in the whole, wide World is a guy by the name of Paul.
I’ve literally known him all my life and he is, for all intents and purposes, my brother.
I’ve written a lot about him on this blog.
I’ve talked about my childhood with him.
I’ve talked about how much he means to me.
I’ve talked about how he has been part of the best moments in my life.
I’ve talked about his propensity for stupidity. [Beyond just being my mate]
I’ve talked about how much I miss not being near him.
And yes, I’ve talked about the size of his penis.
Over the years I have faced a barrage of abuse and derision from those who comment on this blog about this.
Not – I should hasten to add – because you find it inappropriate, but because you think I have some sexual urging for him.
I don’t.
It is true that if I was gay, I’d happily marry him – but I’m not – so my love for him is purely in the friendship sense of the word, though I can’t say his feelings towards me are as innocent.
The point is, the only reason I mention it in posts is because he big ‘down there’ and when I write it, I’m simply stating a [jealous] fact … there is no other reason.
Anyway, to put this tittle-tattle finally to rest, I’d like to provide you with some empirical proof.
A few months ago, Facebook did a video for ‘Friends Day’.
On Paul’s, there was a photo of him kicking a guy out of a concert [he is a part-time security guy at festivals] and the Facebook video showed the comment I wrote at the time.
“Wanted your cock again? He’s only human I suppose”
I know … I know … I’m an immature, pathetic man, but there is a point to this.
You see by me writing this comment on Paul’s Facebook, it proves there is widespread acknowledgement that his ‘appendage’ is huge, but if you’re still in doubt, here is a photo of the comments Paul and I made after I watched his Facebook ‘friend’ video.
See … not only does Paul acknowledge it in words, he does it in emoji’s.
HE HAS A BIG COCK, THAT’S FACT … NOT MY FANTASY.
And with that m’lud, I rest my case while also accepting this might be the worst post in the history of all blog posts.
And it’s only Monday.
Now normally I would say ‘you’re doomed’, but you’re not.
NOT because you’ve grown immune to my rubbish.
NOT because you’re all big and strong.
But because I’m in Tokyo all week so I [probably] won’t be posting until Friday … which is handy, because that’s about as much time as you’ll need to get over today’s mental violation.
Sorry.
25 Comments so far
Leave a comment
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
This has to be classed as an act of evil. I mean the subject matter of this post and the fact you’re on another blagging “work trip”.
Comment by DH March 14, 2016 @ 6:35 amtheres worse things than being known for having a massive cock except when its your male mate doing the telling. agent the fuck away from him paul, it might already be too fucking late.
Comment by andy@cynic March 14, 2016 @ 6:46 amGold.
Comment by DH March 14, 2016 @ 7:41 amAll publicity is good publicity isn’t it?
Comment by Rob March 14, 2016 @ 7:42 amno campbell. no it fucking isnt.
Comment by andy@cynic March 14, 2016 @ 7:57 ambet the poor fuckers in tokyo think another tsunami has just hit. except this one does even more fucking mental damage.
Comment by andy@cynic March 14, 2016 @ 6:47 amIsn’t Paul your sons godparent?
Comment by Pete March 14, 2016 @ 7:01 ambetter than having a dad with the cock the size of a fleas dick.
Comment by andy@cynic March 14, 2016 @ 7:12 amHe’s Otis’ oddparent. Now you – and he – knows why.
Comment by Rob March 14, 2016 @ 7:42 amPaul may be your best friend but I am not sure if he should feels the same towards you. However, as his publicist, he should be paying you a fortune.
Comment by George March 14, 2016 @ 8:29 amI wonder what Paul thinks of all this.
Comment by Lee Hill March 14, 2016 @ 9:26 amHe probably loves it. Or should I say, he likes the bits that compliments his best assets, rather than the bits that highlights his moments of mentaldom.
Comment by Rob March 14, 2016 @ 11:11 amhas paul fucking defriended you yet campbell?
Comment by andy@cynic March 15, 2016 @ 6:00 amTokyo! I see two posible explanations – he’s training to be a geisha, that or he’s finally got into sumo school.
Comment by john March 15, 2016 @ 7:05 amOr he’s just created the unique sumo geisha category.
Comment by DH March 15, 2016 @ 7:31 amMore likely gadget shopping in Akihabara.
Comment by Ian Gee March 15, 2016 @ 10:12 amThere are no words. None.
Comment by northern March 16, 2016 @ 7:39 pmI disagree. There’s a few 4 letter ones.
Comment by DH March 17, 2016 @ 5:24 am[…] DH on Now That’s A Big Cock … […]
Pingback by Design Problem Solvers … | The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!] March 18, 2016 @ 6:15 am[…] Now That’s A Big Cock … […]
Pingback by The Best News For Your Monday … | The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!] March 21, 2016 @ 6:43 am[…] To his appendage. […]
Pingback by Happy Birthday King Dong … | The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!] June 16, 2016 @ 6:16 am[…] best friends penis. [Hey, it wouldn’t be this blog if I didn’t reference […]
Pingback by The Last Week Of 2016 … | The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!] December 12, 2016 @ 6:21 am[…] said, it is my beloved best mate Paul’s birthday today [not to mention it was Jill’s yesterday] so I wish them both a spectacular […]
Pingback by The Cockroach Of Advertising Blogging Is Back … | The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!] June 16, 2017 @ 6:18 am[…] Through moments of stupidity where we should have immediately denied knowing each other. […]
Pingback by My Friend Paul Is A Hero To Me … | The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!] March 1, 2018 @ 6:16 am[…] driveway at midnight, Rock City on Friday night, Bangkok Shakes tours, sawing my finger off, his insanely large appendage, Passport to Pornland …. he has been involved or connected to every single event in my […]
Pingback by A Half Century Of Beautifully Ridiculous … | The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!] June 16, 2020 @ 5:21 am