The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Hello Son, It’s So Good To Finally Meet You …
December 12, 2014, 6:00 am
Filed under: Comment, Daddyhood


So at 6:27pm on Thursday, December 11th, Otis Roger Edwin Campbell was born in Shanghai, China.

He is beautiful.

I don’t mind admitting I cried my eyes out when I saw him.

Mind you, so did he when he saw me … though, I suspect for different reasons than the overwhelming joy I was feeling.

Regardless, achieving ‘like father, like son’ status within 3 seconds of entering the World is, in my eyes, still pretty impressive.

He is well.

Mum is well.

Grandma is well.

I … well, I am traumatised and don’t even get me started on how Rosie is feeling.

In all honesty, this is mindblowingly mental-amazing.

I am totally and utterly in awe. And in love.

Oh, and you’ll be happy to know he came too early for our insurance payola which is why I got my own back by doing this as our official ‘birth’ announcement.

He’s now got 18 years to get his revenge and I’m already looking forward to every single day of it.

Guess this means the next chapter of my life has officially begun.

[Though I hope Jill has still got me a cool gadget for Christmas!]

85 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Congrats, this is great news.

Comment by Miguel

…for you, your family and your insurance broker

Comment by Miguel

Congratulations to all of you. You look happy in that photo Rob, which is more than your son will be when he sees what you did to announce his birth. It’s brilliant news, love to all of you from all of us. Love the name by the way.

Comment by George

Yes. I thought it was a good idea to set him up with a goal from the very earliest of days.

Comment by Rob

I’ve followed your blog, via Geore Parker for a few years now. I disagree with a lot of what you say. I don’t really care for your foulmouthed friends who think they’re ‘witty’. But having lost my own child when my pregnant wife was murdered, I just want to wish you, your wife, and your son, all the love and the luck in the world. Because at the end of the day, that’s all that matters. Best wishes Tom

Comment by Tom Callaghan

Differences keep the world interesting. Tip of the hat to you for the comment though.

Comment by DH

I’m sorry for your loss Tom, I simply cannot comprehend what you have had to go through and contend with but I am not sure detailing your distaste for the fathers views or the way people comment on here represents your goodwill in the manner you intended. On any other post it would be fine, but on this one, it feels inappropriate.

Comment by George

Wait, you came via Parker’s blog and you don’t like what is said on here?

Comment by Billy Whizz

Just wish Rob the best, now is not the time for anything else.

Comment by Pete

Wow, that’s some comment Tom. I’m going to say thank you for the best wishes because as you said, that’s all that matters.

Comment by Rob

nice way to put all the fucking attention on yourself tom. maybe you didnt intend to do that and im not trying to dismiss your tragedy but this should only be about campbell and clans happiness, save the dissing for another fucking post.

Comment by andy@cynic

Who the fuck is Tom… And who the fuck is GEORE Parker… Not that wanker in Idaho, I hope…
Cheers/ GEORGE Parker

Comment by adscamgeorge

Your son still had his new birth conehead head in that first photo. Another thing he’ll make you pay for in the years to come. #teamotis

Comment by DH

Jill’s got you a washing machine, an iron and a recipe book.

Comment by John

Wonderful wonderful news. Big hugs to you and Jill and a big kiss to Otis.

So happy for you guys.

Jemma xxxx (a kiss for each of you, including Rosie)

Comment by Jemma King

Kid, you’re about to be the most spoilt kid in the history of kids. Abuse the fuck out of it. Jealous.

Comment by Billy Whizz

What a wonderful, beautiful Christmas present. He is gorgeous, we can’t wait to meet him. Sending all our love.

Comment by Mary Bryant

Fantastic news. Surprised his name is free of any Queen reference. (I assume Roger is for your Dad, not Queen’s drummer)

Comment by Pete

Yes. But that thought had actually escaped me. Win:Win in some ways. Ha.

Comment by Rob

Thanks folks. It’s a beautiful mindfuck. He looks like a miniature, grumpier version of me so I’m hoping when he fills out, he starts looking more like his mum.

As for the whole childbirth experience, that is worthy of a post somewhere down the line because it was the most brutally beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and if I ever was in doubt of women’s superiority over men before (which I wasn’t) I certainly wouldn’t be now. Amazing. Utterly amazing.

Comment by Rob

congratulations on your boy!

Comment by M's mind

Congratulations. My best wishes to all of you.

Comment by Lee Hill

fucking hell campbell, you pulled it off. well fucking done though your involvement took 3 seconds and jills took 9 months. hes got more fucking hair than you too. so with that and the early delivery date, otis is my new fucking hero. now stop fucking blogging and be a dad for a few weeks. then start blogging but not about being a dad. that would be more boring than hearing about someone elses dream. confuckingratulations.

Comment by andy@cynic

Congratulations Rob, absolutely fantastic, best wishes to the three of you.

Comment by Ciaran McCabe

im smiling. congratulations, daddy. you survived childbirth, which has undone lesser men. The look on your face in that photo is unforgettable.

And congratulations to Jill, too, for putting up with your fidgets and alarums and panic attacks with the good grace I know she has.

still smiling. Be well, Rob. Let the games begin.

Comment by judyt54

Congratulations Mom, Dad and both your families.

Hi Otis and welcome.. there’s bacon sandwich, football, music, books, brie and all kinds of great things your parents will help you discover.. you’ll love it and you couldn’t ask for better guides..

Comment by niko

I love this post. I love the Facebook post. Otis is gorgeous. Look forward to hearing more on your adventures as a father.

Comment by Naoko

Congratulations. Best wishes to all of you ^^

Comment by Thao Midori

Oh, Rob, I am just so happy for you!!! Congratulations!! You are going to be a wonderful father!

Comment by Molly He

Congrats Rob! You’ll be a fantastic father.

Comment by Rachel Chew (@rchewgum)

This is wonderful news for me to hear. Much love to mama, papa and beautiful Otis. Your mother must be so happy Rob. Kisses to her as well. This news has made today very happy for me.

Comment by Katerina

Hooray !

Comment by toto

This comment is in response to your new post.
You get the support because you are a good and generous man and by the look of things, you are also becoming a good and generous father as well. Congratulations once again Robert. Our best wishes to Jill and Otis. (And Rosie)

Comment by George

How happy is your Mum? She must be thrilled.

Comment by George

She is beside herself with happiness. I can literally see her beaming smile from China.

I knew it would be an emotional time, but just telling her he was born – literally minutes after he was born – and then telling her the names we had chosen had me sobbing my eyes out. It’s an amazing thing, a thing that I now realise you can never truly comprehend unless you’ve gone through it.

That said, I don’t know how you have 3 … within 24 hours, he had broken us so maybe the CIA should adopt that as a terrorist interrogation technique rather than all the other stuff they’ve just been caught for.

Comment by Rob

dont pretend youre doing your fair share campbell. to be fair, you really do think handing over an ass wipe once a day at 11am is doing 50% of the workload just like you thought offering a client a fucking drink entitled you to 50% of cynics profits. pretty fucking sure jill and i will be on the same fucking page on this.

Comment by andy@cynic

I want to know how many shitty nappies you’ve changed.

Comment by DH

My guess is 1 and that’s only so you can talk about it for years.

Comment by DH

You know me so well.

Comment by Rob

its called being fucking predictable. more importantly, how is little otis and his mum?

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by DH

Congratulations Rob. I’m very happy for you and Jill and Otis is a cool name. I’m guessing Jill chose it. Enjoy the new life, you’re going to be great parents.

Comment by Bazza

Are you sending Otis an ipad mini, mini?

Comment by Pete

No. He can one of his Dad’s 500. But I’ll sell him one. He does deserve new and untouched.

Comment by Bazza

you fucking tight bastard.

Comment by andy@cynic

Hi Robert. I tried calling today but couldn’t get through. How is Otis? Based on your social media publications, all is going well, but I would like a personal update. I will try again this weekend but if you see this message before then, call because the girls are demanding an update.

Comment by George

I am assuming you did not answer due to extreme tiredness. Get used to it, it doesn’t change for many years.

Comment by George

He can sleep when he goes back to work. That’s what he does there anyway.

Comment by DH

How are the 3am feeds going Rob? Sarah and I hope all is going well and we look forward to the recommencement of this blog in 2015.

Comment by Pete

Oh they’re going Pete. They’re going like bloody clockwork unfortunately. Hope you’re all good and I’ll speak to you soon, probably in person, on the phone and yes … via this blog.

Let’s face it, I have nothing else to do at 3am after he’s fed, burped and I’m just sitting there, waiting for him to shit his nappy so he’ll stop crying. Ha.

Comment by Rob

Does this mean what I hope it doesn’t mean? At least if you’re tired you might make more sense than when you’re wide awake.

Comment by DH

Thanks Rob. That news has just ruined christmas and 2015. Bastard.

Comment by Billy Whizz

i fucking knew he would break. big fucking question is when. theres money riding on this.

well fuckers, its almost time to celebrate some kid being born in a shed so im off to get plastered and claim its all for festive fucking cheer. to all you pricks on here, even campbell and especially otis, i wish you a decent time with too much turkey and leave you with two fucking questions.

1) why are selection boxes so fucking shit these days?
2) where the fuck are my presents?

clue. the answer to both is “tight bastards.”

Comment by andy@cynic

Is that our Queen’s speech?

Comment by John

Thanks folks, it means a lot to know I would deeply upset yo if I was to start this again.

The bad news. I have written some posts. Don’t know if they will ever see the light of day [well, one will, when Northern goes to see Queen] but I have to admit, I sort of miss writing it. How pathetic am I.

And to the lot of you, happy Christmas. May the best times of 2014 be the worst times of your 2015.

That is actually a nice compliment, but I understand if it initially sounds like I’m taking the proverbial. See you soon. Maybe. Probably.

Comment by Rob

for once billy was fucking right which is doubly fucking depressing.

Comment by andy@cynic

Unhappy 2015 everyone.

Comment by DH

I wrote some posts today.

Haven’t decided whether they will see the light of day [which means, they probably will] but just thought I’d ensure your last few days of 2014 are filled with trepidation. Hahaha.

Comment by Rob

You’re dragging this out to inflict maximum pain on me aren’t you Rob? What if I wish you a happy 2015? Would that change your plans? Well I dont, but I do for Otis and his Mum and cat.

Comment by DH

First you threaten to stop the blog and drag it on for ages and now you threaten to come back and stay silent. Stop fucking with us and get on with it.

Happy new year to Jill and Otis. And your cat.

Comment by DH

It will take a few weeks Dave, I have to pre-write 6 months of posts first. Ha.

Comment by Rob

It doesn’t take long to cut and paste your three ideas.

Comment by John

why oh why oh fucking why did i decide to have a gander at this fucking blog today. everything was fucking fine 10 seconds ago and then i read this fucking news. on the bright side, the wife told me that since campbell went on his fake fucking hiatus, ive been too happy so this news should cheer her up no fucking end.

Comment by andy@cynic

what the fuck is going on. still no fucking post. have you found a single kind bone in your body and decided to save us from any more of your shit? of course not, youre just writing endless inane posts about fucking planning. you sick bastard.

Comment by andy@cynic

andy you old softie, you miss him. thats the sweetest ‘honey come home’ ive heard in ages. I hope you didnt dislocate anything

Comment by judyt54

I’ve not had a great beginning to 2015. U look forward to it getting worse soon.

Comment by DH

That was supposed to say “I”, not “U”. I wasn’t trying to put words in anyone else’s mouth (that’s Rob’s job) or try and emulate Prince from the 1980s.

This blog isn’t even active and it still has the power to trip me up. Congratulations Rob.

Comment by DH

Dave the purple wannabe. That has a special kind of ring to it. Or it will when I repeat it 10,000 times.

Comment by Rob

dave the purple fucking head has a better catchiness about it. come on then campbell, lets fucking get this over and done with. rip it off like a band aid except you’re the sort of guy who who peel it off slowly wincing in pain like youre having your arm amputated. with no fucking anasthetic. like an italian soldier who stubs his toes and cries for his mama to change his fucking nappy.

Comment by andy@cynic

at the risk (and futile hope) of offending everyone here with politically incorrect speech in this the most rapidly morphing holiday on the calendar, Merry Christmas to all of you, even Grumpy Andy and Whizzy Billy–oh wouldnt Dickens have had fun with those names–
And especially to Rob, and Jill, and their own little Christmas child, long may you all wave.

Comment by judyt54

Thank you Judy54. I know you’ve not been on here long, but I appreciate that [1] you haven’t run off to complain to the Police and [2] been nice.

Hope you have a wonderful festive season.

Comment by Rob

oh, Judy works just fine, I dont think we need to that formal now
the police wouldnt believe me, they thought I was making it up

And you realize, of course,that nice is, like Time or Beauty (or even screaming Ugly) in the eye of the beholder, and relative to the circumstances.

I can’t believe I actually said that without looking it up

And yes, thank you, we plan to, after the pre Christmas sales turn into the post Christmas sales, and then we can relax. ho. ho.

Comment by judyt54

Just wanted to wish anyone who bothers to still come here a very happy 2015. I hope you had a great holiday season and got more than you deserved … which for most of you on here, is having a comment on a defunct blog, wishing you a happy holiday season and prosperous 2015.

Comment by Rob

this reminds me of trying to remove oneself from Facebook permanently. You go back to see if you really really have been removed, and you get the huge WELCOME BACK page. unsubcribing is a bitch. after the fourth time around you realize they are poised just inside the door waiting with noise makers and party balloon, to attack the curious.

and you know if you post it, someone will answer. someone, apparently who has stolen my keyboard.

It’s not defunct until you stop posting here silly

Comment by judyt54

I got what I deserved. Nothing.

Comment by John

Can’t complain then can you John.

Comment by Rob

I’ve never been known to.

Comment by John

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