So at 6:27pm on Thursday, December 11th, Otis Roger Edwin Campbell was born in Shanghai, China.
He is beautiful.
I don’t mind admitting I cried my eyes out when I saw him.
Mind you, so did he when he saw me … though, I suspect for different reasons than the overwhelming joy I was feeling.
Regardless, achieving ‘like father, like son’ status within 3 seconds of entering the World is, in my eyes, still pretty impressive.
He is well.
Mum is well.
Grandma is well.
I … well, I am traumatised and don’t even get me started on how Rosie is feeling.
In all honesty, this is mindblowingly mental-amazing.
I am totally and utterly in awe. And in love.
Oh, and you’ll be happy to know he came too early for our insurance payola which is why I got my own back by doing this as our official ‘birth’ announcement.
He’s now got 18 years to get his revenge and I’m already looking forward to every single day of it.
Guess this means the next chapter of my life has officially begun.
[Though I hope Jill has still got me a cool gadget for Christmas!]
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Congrats, this is great news.
Comment by Miguel December 12, 2014 @ 6:06 am…for you, your family and your insurance broker
Comment by Miguel December 12, 2014 @ 6:07 amCongratulations to all of you. You look happy in that photo Rob, which is more than your son will be when he sees what you did to announce his birth. It’s brilliant news, love to all of you from all of us. Love the name by the way.
Comment by George December 12, 2014 @ 6:09 amYes. I thought it was a good idea to set him up with a goal from the very earliest of days.
Comment by Rob December 12, 2014 @ 6:54 amI’ve followed your blog, via Geore Parker for a few years now. I disagree with a lot of what you say. I don’t really care for your foulmouthed friends who think they’re ‘witty’. But having lost my own child when my pregnant wife was murdered, I just want to wish you, your wife, and your son, all the love and the luck in the world. Because at the end of the day, that’s all that matters. Best wishes Tom
Comment by Tom Callaghan December 12, 2014 @ 6:10 amDifferences keep the world interesting. Tip of the hat to you for the comment though.
Comment by DH December 12, 2014 @ 6:15 amI’m sorry for your loss Tom, I simply cannot comprehend what you have had to go through and contend with but I am not sure detailing your distaste for the fathers views or the way people comment on here represents your goodwill in the manner you intended. On any other post it would be fine, but on this one, it feels inappropriate.
Comment by George December 12, 2014 @ 6:23 amWait, you came via Parker’s blog and you don’t like what is said on here?
Comment by Billy Whizz December 12, 2014 @ 6:30 amJust wish Rob the best, now is not the time for anything else.
Comment by Pete December 12, 2014 @ 6:41 amWow, that’s some comment Tom. I’m going to say thank you for the best wishes because as you said, that’s all that matters.
Comment by Rob December 12, 2014 @ 6:52 amnice way to put all the fucking attention on yourself tom. maybe you didnt intend to do that and im not trying to dismiss your tragedy but this should only be about campbell and clans happiness, save the dissing for another fucking post.
Comment by andy@cynic December 12, 2014 @ 9:51 amWho the fuck is Tom… And who the fuck is GEORE Parker… Not that wanker in Idaho, I hope…
Comment by adscamgeorge December 12, 2014 @ 10:45 amCheers/ GEORGE Parker
Your son still had his new birth conehead head in that first photo. Another thing he’ll make you pay for in the years to come. #teamotis
Comment by DH December 12, 2014 @ 6:12 amJill’s got you a washing machine, an iron and a recipe book.
Comment by John December 12, 2014 @ 6:14 amWonderful wonderful news. Big hugs to you and Jill and a big kiss to Otis.
So happy for you guys.
Jemma xxxx (a kiss for each of you, including Rosie)
Comment by Jemma King December 12, 2014 @ 6:25 amKid, you’re about to be the most spoilt kid in the history of kids. Abuse the fuck out of it. Jealous.
Comment by Billy Whizz December 12, 2014 @ 6:31 amWhat a wonderful, beautiful Christmas present. He is gorgeous, we can’t wait to meet him. Sending all our love.
Comment by Mary Bryant December 12, 2014 @ 6:37 amFantastic news. Surprised his name is free of any Queen reference. (I assume Roger is for your Dad, not Queen’s drummer)
Comment by Pete December 12, 2014 @ 6:43 amYes. But that thought had actually escaped me. Win:Win in some ways. Ha.
Comment by Rob December 12, 2014 @ 6:51 amThanks folks. It’s a beautiful mindfuck. He looks like a miniature, grumpier version of me so I’m hoping when he fills out, he starts looking more like his mum.
As for the whole childbirth experience, that is worthy of a post somewhere down the line because it was the most brutally beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and if I ever was in doubt of women’s superiority over men before (which I wasn’t) I certainly wouldn’t be now. Amazing. Utterly amazing.
Comment by Rob December 12, 2014 @ 6:51 amcongratulations on your boy!
Comment by M's mind December 12, 2014 @ 7:17 amCongratulations. My best wishes to all of you.
Comment by Lee Hill December 12, 2014 @ 7:38 amfucking hell campbell, you pulled it off. well fucking done though your involvement took 3 seconds and jills took 9 months. hes got more fucking hair than you too. so with that and the early delivery date, otis is my new fucking hero. now stop fucking blogging and be a dad for a few weeks. then start blogging but not about being a dad. that would be more boring than hearing about someone elses dream. confuckingratulations.
Comment by andy@cynic December 12, 2014 @ 9:45 amCongratulations Rob, absolutely fantastic, best wishes to the three of you.
Comment by Ciaran McCabe December 12, 2014 @ 10:26 amim smiling. congratulations, daddy. you survived childbirth, which has undone lesser men. The look on your face in that photo is unforgettable.
And congratulations to Jill, too, for putting up with your fidgets and alarums and panic attacks with the good grace I know she has.
still smiling. Be well, Rob. Let the games begin.
Comment by judyt54 December 12, 2014 @ 12:24 pmCongratulations Mom, Dad and both your families.
Hi Otis and welcome.. there’s bacon sandwich, football, music, books, brie and all kinds of great things your parents will help you discover.. you’ll love it and you couldn’t ask for better guides..
Comment by niko December 12, 2014 @ 1:14 pmI love this post. I love the Facebook post. Otis is gorgeous. Look forward to hearing more on your adventures as a father.
Comment by Naoko December 12, 2014 @ 1:27 pmCongratulations. Best wishes to all of you ^^
Comment by Thao Midori December 12, 2014 @ 2:45 pmOh, Rob, I am just so happy for you!!! Congratulations!! You are going to be a wonderful father!
Comment by Molly He December 12, 2014 @ 3:00 pmCongrats Rob! You’ll be a fantastic father.
Comment by Rachel Chew (@rchewgum) December 12, 2014 @ 7:04 pmThis is wonderful news for me to hear. Much love to mama, papa and beautiful Otis. Your mother must be so happy Rob. Kisses to her as well. This news has made today very happy for me.
Comment by Katerina December 12, 2014 @ 8:14 pmHooray !
Comment by toto December 13, 2014 @ 1:25 pmThis comment is in response to your new post.
Comment by George December 14, 2014 @ 3:36 amYou get the support because you are a good and generous man and by the look of things, you are also becoming a good and generous father as well. Congratulations once again Robert. Our best wishes to Jill and Otis. (And Rosie)
How happy is your Mum? She must be thrilled.
Comment by George December 14, 2014 @ 3:36 amShe is beside herself with happiness. I can literally see her beaming smile from China.
I knew it would be an emotional time, but just telling her he was born – literally minutes after he was born – and then telling her the names we had chosen had me sobbing my eyes out. It’s an amazing thing, a thing that I now realise you can never truly comprehend unless you’ve gone through it.
That said, I don’t know how you have 3 … within 24 hours, he had broken us so maybe the CIA should adopt that as a terrorist interrogation technique rather than all the other stuff they’ve just been caught for.
Comment by Rob December 15, 2014 @ 5:41 pmdont pretend youre doing your fair share campbell. to be fair, you really do think handing over an ass wipe once a day at 11am is doing 50% of the workload just like you thought offering a client a fucking drink entitled you to 50% of cynics profits. pretty fucking sure jill and i will be on the same fucking page on this.
Comment by andy@cynic December 16, 2014 @ 6:18 amI want to know how many shitty nappies you’ve changed.
Comment by DH December 15, 2014 @ 7:37 amMy guess is 1 and that’s only so you can talk about it for years.
Comment by DH December 15, 2014 @ 7:38 amYou know me so well.
Comment by Rob December 15, 2014 @ 5:42 pmits called being fucking predictable. more importantly, how is little otis and his mum?
Comment by andy@cynic December 16, 2014 @ 6:15 amGold.
Comment by DH December 16, 2014 @ 7:38 pmCongratulations Rob. I’m very happy for you and Jill and Otis is a cool name. I’m guessing Jill chose it. Enjoy the new life, you’re going to be great parents.
Comment by Bazza December 16, 2014 @ 9:25 pmAre you sending Otis an ipad mini, mini?
Comment by Pete December 17, 2014 @ 1:01 amNo. He can one of his Dad’s 500. But I’ll sell him one. He does deserve new and untouched.
Comment by Bazza December 18, 2014 @ 6:38 amyou fucking tight bastard.
Comment by andy@cynic December 18, 2014 @ 7:27 pmHi Robert. I tried calling today but couldn’t get through. How is Otis? Based on your social media publications, all is going well, but I would like a personal update. I will try again this weekend but if you see this message before then, call because the girls are demanding an update.
Comment by George December 18, 2014 @ 8:35 pmI am assuming you did not answer due to extreme tiredness. Get used to it, it doesn’t change for many years.
Comment by George December 18, 2014 @ 8:36 pmHe can sleep when he goes back to work. That’s what he does there anyway.
Comment by DH December 19, 2014 @ 4:35 amHow are the 3am feeds going Rob? Sarah and I hope all is going well and we look forward to the recommencement of this blog in 2015.
Comment by Pete December 22, 2014 @ 2:37 amOh they’re going Pete. They’re going like bloody clockwork unfortunately. Hope you’re all good and I’ll speak to you soon, probably in person, on the phone and yes … via this blog.
Let’s face it, I have nothing else to do at 3am after he’s fed, burped and I’m just sitting there, waiting for him to shit his nappy so he’ll stop crying. Ha.
Comment by Rob December 22, 2014 @ 1:40 pmDoes this mean what I hope it doesn’t mean? At least if you’re tired you might make more sense than when you’re wide awake.
Comment by DH December 22, 2014 @ 8:46 pmThanks Rob. That news has just ruined christmas and 2015. Bastard.
Comment by Billy Whizz December 22, 2014 @ 10:35 pmi fucking knew he would break. big fucking question is when. theres money riding on this.
well fuckers, its almost time to celebrate some kid being born in a shed so im off to get plastered and claim its all for festive fucking cheer. to all you pricks on here, even campbell and especially otis, i wish you a decent time with too much turkey and leave you with two fucking questions.
1) why are selection boxes so fucking shit these days?
2) where the fuck are my presents?
clue. the answer to both is “tight bastards.”
Comment by andy@cynic December 23, 2014 @ 5:04 amIs that our Queen’s speech?
Comment by John December 23, 2014 @ 6:29 amThanks folks, it means a lot to know I would deeply upset yo if I was to start this again.
The bad news. I have written some posts. Don’t know if they will ever see the light of day [well, one will, when Northern goes to see Queen] but I have to admit, I sort of miss writing it. How pathetic am I.
And to the lot of you, happy Christmas. May the best times of 2014 be the worst times of your 2015.
That is actually a nice compliment, but I understand if it initially sounds like I’m taking the proverbial. See you soon. Maybe. Probably.
Comment by Rob December 23, 2014 @ 1:39 pmfor once billy was fucking right which is doubly fucking depressing.
Comment by andy@cynic December 24, 2014 @ 3:30 amUnhappy 2015 everyone.
Comment by DH December 24, 2014 @ 5:12 amI wrote some posts today.
Haven’t decided whether they will see the light of day [which means, they probably will] but just thought I’d ensure your last few days of 2014 are filled with trepidation. Hahaha.
Comment by Rob December 29, 2014 @ 5:39 pmYou’re dragging this out to inflict maximum pain on me aren’t you Rob? What if I wish you a happy 2015? Would that change your plans? Well I dont, but I do for Otis and his Mum and cat.
Comment by DH December 30, 2014 @ 4:29 amFirst you threaten to stop the blog and drag it on for ages and now you threaten to come back and stay silent. Stop fucking with us and get on with it.
Happy new year to Jill and Otis. And your cat.
Comment by DH January 7, 2015 @ 6:11 amIt will take a few weeks Dave, I have to pre-write 6 months of posts first. Ha.
Comment by Rob January 8, 2015 @ 8:18 amIt doesn’t take long to cut and paste your three ideas.
Comment by John January 8, 2015 @ 6:29 pmwhy oh why oh fucking why did i decide to have a gander at this fucking blog today. everything was fucking fine 10 seconds ago and then i read this fucking news. on the bright side, the wife told me that since campbell went on his fake fucking hiatus, ive been too happy so this news should cheer her up no fucking end.
Comment by andy@cynic January 9, 2015 @ 6:30 amwhat the fuck is going on. still no fucking post. have you found a single kind bone in your body and decided to save us from any more of your shit? of course not, youre just writing endless inane posts about fucking planning. you sick bastard.
Comment by andy@cynic January 12, 2015 @ 8:17 amandy you old softie, you miss him. thats the sweetest ‘honey come home’ ive heard in ages. I hope you didnt dislocate anything
Comment by judyt54 January 12, 2015 @ 8:51 amI’ve not had a great beginning to 2015. U look forward to it getting worse soon.
Comment by DH January 13, 2015 @ 5:51 amThat was supposed to say “I”, not “U”. I wasn’t trying to put words in anyone else’s mouth (that’s Rob’s job) or try and emulate Prince from the 1980s.
This blog isn’t even active and it still has the power to trip me up. Congratulations Rob.
Comment by DH January 13, 2015 @ 5:54 amDave the purple wannabe. That has a special kind of ring to it. Or it will when I repeat it 10,000 times.
Comment by Rob January 13, 2015 @ 12:20 pmdave the purple fucking head has a better catchiness about it. come on then campbell, lets fucking get this over and done with. rip it off like a band aid except you’re the sort of guy who who peel it off slowly wincing in pain like youre having your arm amputated. with no fucking anasthetic. like an italian soldier who stubs his toes and cries for his mama to change his fucking nappy.
Comment by andy@cynic January 15, 2015 @ 4:10 amat the risk (and futile hope) of offending everyone here with politically incorrect speech in this the most rapidly morphing holiday on the calendar, Merry Christmas to all of you, even Grumpy Andy and Whizzy Billy–oh wouldnt Dickens have had fun with those names–
Comment by judyt54 December 23, 2014 @ 10:23 amAnd especially to Rob, and Jill, and their own little Christmas child, long may you all wave.
Thank you Judy54. I know you’ve not been on here long, but I appreciate that [1] you haven’t run off to complain to the Police and [2] been nice.
Hope you have a wonderful festive season.
Comment by Rob December 23, 2014 @ 1:40 pmoh, Judy works just fine, I dont think we need to that formal now
the police wouldnt believe me, they thought I was making it up
And you realize, of course,that nice is, like Time or Beauty (or even screaming Ugly) in the eye of the beholder, and relative to the circumstances.
I can’t believe I actually said that without looking it up
And yes, thank you, we plan to, after the pre Christmas sales turn into the post Christmas sales, and then we can relax. ho. ho.
Comment by judyt54 December 24, 2014 @ 4:11 amJust wanted to wish anyone who bothers to still come here a very happy 2015. I hope you had a great holiday season and got more than you deserved … which for most of you on here, is having a comment on a defunct blog, wishing you a happy holiday season and prosperous 2015.
Comment by Rob January 5, 2015 @ 8:50 amthis reminds me of trying to remove oneself from Facebook permanently. You go back to see if you really really have been removed, and you get the huge WELCOME BACK page. unsubcribing is a bitch. after the fourth time around you realize they are poised just inside the door waiting with noise makers and party balloon, to attack the curious.
and you know if you post it, someone will answer. someone, apparently who has stolen my keyboard.
It’s not defunct until you stop posting here silly
Comment by judyt54 January 5, 2015 @ 11:56 amI got what I deserved. Nothing.
Comment by John January 6, 2015 @ 6:42 amCan’t complain then can you John.
Comment by Rob January 6, 2015 @ 8:21 amI’ve never been known to.
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