The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Terrifying Tuesday. That Is A Thursday …

So I’m back.

And after an October where I went to Fiji, Australia, China and America … November is wonderfully static.

Don’t get me wrong, I love travelling … but that was ridiculous.

For all the talk of how COVID would change the way companies would work and interact, I’m meeting more and more people who are travelling more than they did pre-pandemic.

And that’s scary for a whole lot of reasons.

Personal, environmental, commercial.

Scarier than the that day where ghosts and ghouls are supposed to come out and haunt us. Also known as the day kids keep coming to your door demanding sweets.

Yes … that’s a terrible link to the point of this post, but I wrote it to originally appear on Halloween, but then I went to the US and missed my chance, so here we go.

Halloween in NZ is definitely less full-on than the US.

Oh my god … they love holidays and Halloween is one they embrace full-on.

When we lived in Manhattan Beach … it was like a community event.

The whole street would basically come out, all dressed in god-knows what, embracing the mood and the moment.

Obviously I hate that level of sociability … but even I got caught up in it, buying a ridiculously sized baby head from a shop, which I tried on in the car before casually looking to my right and seeing [1] I was next to a bank and [2] I had a security guard looking at me as if I was going to rob the joint.

Good times. Ahem.

Anyway, to keep with the ‘scary’ mood, Otis recently became the proud owner of these …

Yep … Crocs.

Fucking Crocs.

I know we talked about them recently in our ‘Strategy is constipated, imagination is the laxative’ talk … I know I have some sort of grudging respect that they are cool with charging $8 for each ‘personalised attachment’ you can add to the shoes … I know, with Otis’ dysgraphia, they are much easier for him to put on than many others … I know I can’t talk with my love of Birkies … but, but, but THEY’RE FUCKING CROCS.

Seriously, compared to them, Birkenstocks are liked pieces of art.

And yet they continue to live.

To thrive.

Like cockroaches of the footwear category.

Which means I have to salute their brand management and imagination.

Which is better than 99% of brands out there.

Which is why we put them in our Cannes talk.

And why I felt scared enough to put them in a post that was supposed to appear on halloween.

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Some Names Are Too Perfect …

Welcome back.

Hope you didn’t vomit too much with all the chocolate eating.

I didn’t eat any.

No seriously.

I fell ill on the Thursday with a virus and basically spent all the time in bed.

No food. Just feeling sorry for myself.

But of course I felt better just in time to come back to work. Bloody karma.

So with that, shall we get on with things …

Over the years I’ve written about the hilarity of naming strategies.

Specifically those from consultancies who sell their process as a proprietary system and then talk about how they start with 10,000 possibilities and then use their filtering algorithm to whittle it down to 3 bland or meaningless options.

Except they don’t say that last bit, obviously.

I still remember working with a client who had paid for this ‘expertise’ only to end up with a name recommendation that [1] wasn’t actually a word and [2] sounded like a cheap water brand than an international digital services company.

This is also the company that tried to charge the client for a ‘signage’ strategy.

By that, I mean they wanted to be paid to help the client know where their signage should placed on their building to achieve maximum effectiveness.

I almost caused World War 3 when I said,

“In my experience, placing signage outside – at the top of the building – works best”

Anyway, the reason I’m saying this is Briar, one of my colleagues came to work with a new set of glasses recently and the company behind them had the best name ever …

How brilliant is that?

Of course it’s provocative … risqué … challenging … but it’s also hilarious, fun and memorable.

The thing is, I doubt most of the consultancy naming processes would even come up with it as an option to dismiss.

In addition, Happy To Sit On Your Face put their glasses in a custom made case that folds flat. This might not sound much, but it means you don’t end up with your drawer or bag filled with a bulky, odd-shaped lump.

While I appreciate the name of this brand may not travel easily … it’s also a brand name that has made glasses memorable and if you can do that, then you are already doing better than 95% of brands.

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Let Imagination Live …

Over my career, I’ve had a lot of ‘annual reviews’ and in all that time, there’s been a couple of topics that have made regular appearances in my bosses observations.

I am sure you can guess a lot of them, but one is that I approach every brief like a chance to change or impact everything.

Sometimes it was said in a positive tone.

Sometimes it was said in a less than positive tone.

And they were right.

They still are.

Because whenever we/I get a brief, my starting point is ‘what excites me about the brief’ … quickly followed by ‘how insanely big could we make the idea’ … quickly followed by me getting ridiculous excited about the potential, totally ignoring the fact that all they wanted was a shelf wobbler. Or something.

You think I’m joking don’t you? Well I am, but only just.

My strength/weakness is I always dream massive. Proper massive.

Sometimes it’s paid off – creating the first 4×4 on 2 wheels for Peugeot Mopeds in Vietnam.

Sometimes it’s been a total and unmitigated disaster – trying to get Porsche to bring rally car culture to China.

But pretty much all the time I’ve been able to look in the mirror and know I gave them what they needed, albeit in bigger, more provocative ways than they may have wanted … imagined … or expected.

And you know what, I’m good with that … which probably explains why the quote from the KLF – ‘Don’t give them what they want, give them what they’ll never forget’ – resonated with me so hard.

Anyway, the reason I say this is because waaaaaaaaay back in 1973, this ad appeared in the good, old Nottingham Evening Post.

It was an ad to design the Nottingham Forest Football Club badge.

If that sounds strange, wait till you hear the reason.

Originally, the Forest badge was the Nottingham Coat of Arms … it’s the emblem featured in the middle of the ad.

After discovering they could not copyright it, they decided they had to come up with a new badge and – for reasons no one has really got a good answer for – they decided to run a competition in the local paper, recruiting two lecturers in art and design as advisers.

Despite this being before the glory years of the Clough era, and a prize of just £25, the response was massive.

There were 855 entries from as far away as Australia and Germany … with one man submitting 27 designs.

After a judging process, David Lewis was crowned the winner with this …

David was 29 at the time, working as a graphic designer and lecturer at Nottingham’s College of Art.

He was a football nut and fancied a shot at winning the cash, but there was one problem … one of the judges, a man called Wilf Payne, was the head of the department where he worked.

David said …

“I didn’t think that any design I entered could have been judged fairly if he knew it was mine, and I also didn’t want to embarrass the judges. I did want to enter, though, so I decided to use my mother’s maiden name to hide my real identity. My mother’s side of the family were Italian immigrants and her maiden name was Lago. So I submitted my design as Lago and it wasn’t until afterwards that the judges found out my real name.”

Thank god he did that, because otherwise he may not have won and football – not just Nottingham Forest – would have missed out on one of the most beautiful and distinctive football club logos of all time.

Simple, yet powerful.

Accessible, yet iconic.

Universal, yet truly Nottingham … thanks to the tree representing Sherwood Forest, the wavy lines reflecting the river Trent [where the City Ground stands next to] and the red/white colour formation to reflect the club colours.

Forest’s badge has remained unchanged ever since David’s design – except for the addition of 2 stars to celebrate Forest’s back-to-back European Cup triumphs in 1979 and 1980.

Hell, the club is known to fans as ‘the tricky tree’s’ thanks to the logo.

And a few years ago, an American magazine ran an article on the most memorable and liked sports logos across the world and Davi’d design was in the top 10.

THE. TOP. TEN.

The point is, David Lewis could have approached the competition ‘pitch brief’ as many approach real pitch briefs.

Giving them exactly what they ask for in ways they would expect or feel comfortable with … which in this case would be a badge that represents Nottingham Forest and takes design cues from the existing logo.

But David thought bigger than that.

He wanted to create a design for Nottingham Forest that would be known, respected and revered across all sports and across all countries. A badge that could play outside the lines of the game and into culture.

A designer badge. Literally and figuratively.

And he did it. Beautifully and brilliantly.

Which is why the next time you get a brief – whether for a pitch or an existing client – just remember this story, because the whole industry could do with being more David Lewis.

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When Life Gives You Angostura, Make A Cocktail …

Recently I read the story behind Angostura’s strange bottle.

For those of you who don’t know what Angostura is, it’s a bitters used in cocktails.

For those of you who don’t know what is strange about their bottle, it’s this:

Yep, that’s their normal product.

A bottle, hidden inside fucking massive packing.

The story – as told by Abraham Piper – is the business was taken over by the founder’s sons in 1870.

To help grow its awareness, they decided to update the ‘look’ and enter the finished product into a competition in the hope the exposure would drive the business.

They didn’t have much time so to maximise efficiency, one brother designed the label and the other, the bottle.

One slight problem … they didn’t discuss the size.

Another slight problem … they didn’t realise until they brought both sides of their work together and by then, they didn’t have enough time to alter things before the competition was due to commence.

So they decided to enter it anyway.

Unsurprisingly, they lost.

Except one of the judges told them they should keep it exactly as it was because no one else was going to be stupid enough to make that sort of mistake … which means it was unique and would stand out.

So they did.

And that dumbass mistake – the sort of dumbass mistake that captures Dan Wieden’s classic Fail Harder philosophy, perfectly – was the foundation of a business that continues to evolve and grow to this day.

Now there is a chance this is not true.

They don’t mention it in their history timeline on their website for example.

But history is littered with happy accidents … from making Ice Cream to making Number 1 hit records … so there’s just as much chance it is.

And if that is the case, I’d bloody love it.

Because in this world where everything is researched to within an inch of its life, the products/brands that gain a real and powerful role and position in culture – not to mention whatever category they operate in – are increasingly the ones who keep the chaos in, rather than actively try to filter it out.

Whether that’s because they know it’s better to mean everything to someone rather than something to everyone is anyone’s guess. There’s a good chance they’re just lucky-accident dumbasses. Or they might understand the value of resonating with culture, rather than being relevant to the category.

Whatever it is …

The brands with the strongest brand attribution, assets and audience are increasingly the ones who never have to talk about it, let alone spend their marketing dollars trying to create it.

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The Fine Line Between Evil And Genius Media Planning …

A few weeks ago I saw something on twitter that has deeply conflicted me.

It was this …

That’s right, they’re lawn bowl mats … sponsored by Co-op Funerals.

Now I don’t know much about bowls.

I know they attract a much broader age of ‘player’ these days, but I’m still pretty sure the majority still are of the more elderly variety.

And given I’m 52, we’re talking proper old.

I could be wrong.

But given someone thought it was a good idea for Co-op funerals to sponsor the mat, it seems I may not be. And this is what has had me conflicted for weeks.

On one hand, it’s just fucking genius isn’t it.

Old people.
Funerals.
Chance to make arrangements before someone else has to.

But it’s also just a bit evil, isn’t it?

Old people.
Out enjoying themselves.
Message to remind them of their impending demise.

If I allowed comments, this is the sort of post where I know they would come into their own. But I don’t … which means I’ll be getting extra emails of commentary and abuse from the same people who used to do that on here.

And I don’t mind admitting I’m quite excited about that, And quite interested in what they’ll say.

Because I have the sneaky suspicion they may think it’s clever.

And that old people may find it both slightly amusing and kinda useful.

And that by doing something like this, it becomes a social media campaign by fact of it being infinitely shareable.

Or … they may say no one will give a shit because all it will be to them is a free mat so they can rest their knee as they try to destroy that prick from up the road who always seems to win.

But to whoever did this, I admire both your smarts and your mischief … because I haven’t seen something so perfect since [I think] Naked got their client – cheap meat in a can maker – Fray Bentos to sponsor some local Darts Players.

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