The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Halloween On Steroids Isn’t As Scary As This …

Yes, I’m still away but it’s Halloween so I couldn’t miss a chance to pre-write something.

After all, it’s a day where ghosts and ghouls come into our homes to haunt us and yet can be scared away – or satisfied, no one has actually stayed around long enough to ask – by some sweets.

What a bunch of cowardly fucks.

Anyway, it’s Friday so if there’s any day that is perfect for Halloween – it’s today.

Around 2am.

When all the piss-heads fall out the pubs.

Covered in their vomit.

Or someone else’s.

But that isn’t scary enough for me – oh no.

Even the shot at the top of this post – which was a video we had playing and shining out one of the windows of Colenso towers last halloween – is far too tame.

No, I’m going to show you something truly petrifying. But before I do that, I have to take you on a bit of a story.

You see recently I was talking to someone about how blogging used to be.

A real community where people went out their way to help and support each other … not like the toxic fuckfest that is all social media platforms these days.

Anyway, one of the people who was prevalent in those wonderful early days was Marcus.

Marcus would nudge, push, and encourage masses of people to participate in his madcap ideas … of which one, back in 2007, was called, ‘iPod Singing’.

Basically, the premise was you had to record yourself singing along to a song you were listening to on headphones and look a bit of a prat so others could take the piss out of you.

Or said another way, ‘my area of expertise’.

Anyway, I was explaining this to my mate and showed him my iPod Singing extravaganza to which – after a moment of stunned silence – they said:

“That’s the scariest thing I’ve ever seen”

He wasn’t wrong. Which is why I repost it for your Halloween pleasure.

‘Pleasure’ maybe not being the right word.

Oh well … have a good weekend. I’ll be back ‘properly’ on Monday … which is – without doubt – the most terrifying thing that will happen this Halloween.

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Don’t Let Strategy Take The Excitement Out Of Possibility …

So I have good news.

This is the last post for a week.

Yep, I’m away. Again.

Not because of whatever happened with the result I wrote about yesterday – but something else. Though if the result wasn’t good yesterday, the week away for me is going to be very bitter sweet because something that should be full of crazy wonderfulness is going to be infected by sheer fucking panic. But let’s stay positive shall we and ignore the fact I started a company called cynic – hahaha.

[I also, let’s not forget, started a company called Sunshine, which proves I am the living embodiment of a ‘gemini’, haha]

Anyway, I say you have ‘a week’ rest from this blog but I have written a post for next Friday because it’s Halloween and I couldn’t resist posting something truly horrific.

A blast from the past that no one needs seeing again but still makes me laugh.

So apart from that, you’re free from me for one whole week.

What a way to see in the weekend …

So with that, I’m going to leave you with this …

I saw the above recently and it reminded me of a meeting I was in once, where an HR person talked about ‘cultural fit’.

Now I get what they meant – from a theoretical place – but it was what they were trying not to say that bugged me.

Because in essence, they were saying they valued the complicit and consistent over the interesting and challenging.

They didn’t care that people who questioned or pushed were actually doing it because they wanted to help the company be even better … to them, they saw them as ‘problems’ who they could discount or disregard under the guise of being a ‘wrong cultural fit’.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate good companies have strong cultures … a set of principals, values and behaviours that the people within shapes who they are and how they act. But too many organisations mistake this for control and complicity when in reality, it’s about expression, standards and possibility.

And it’s why I loved that piece But here’s the thing, these people make great shit a possibility.

Sure, I get they often need to be surrounded by those with the skills and abilities to both interpret what they say and action it … but without them, you are forever lost in the middle.

Yes I get for some that is exactly where they want to be … but for those with hunger, ambition, a desire for originality, craft and possibility, that’s literally the worst place you can find yourself positioned.

And yet too often, it’s these ‘big talking companies’ who have embraced protocols and processes that filter these people out immediately … replacing them with an endless stream of plastic and beige puppets. It’s why as much as these sorts of individuals can cause all manner of headaches and mayhem – and I say this both as someone who fits this description as well as someone who seeks out people of this description – they remain the individuals who I love to work with and hire the most.

And there’s a reason for that …

Because not only do you never know what they’ll come up with – and often they don’t know wither – you can be sure it will be smart and impossible to forget.

Or to be more poetic …

They are like comets flying across a night sky. They might not stay around for long, but boy … do they always shine bright.

Which leads to something else.

Recently London School of Economics [LSE] asked me to write a piece for their business management and strategy curriculum.

I don’t know if was because they thought my perspective would educate their students or serve as a warning of what NOT to do, but it was lovely to be asked.

The one thing they wanted me to specifically talk about was how I have been able to build and lead successful teams wherever I’ve worked.

And without blowing my own trumpet, I have.

Whether it’s been at different agencies or different countries, I’m proud I’ve been able to help nurture strategically intriguing, creatively interesting teams. Where every place I’ve been, has enjoyed a period that has come to define the department, the agency, the client, the category, the work we create or – most importantly – the people who are there.

The reason that’s so important to me is that where strategy is concerned, you can never be sure if you’re making a difference or you’re just riding on the coat-tails of the talent that was – and is – already there.

Or said another way, are you good or are you lucky?

And while I’m definitely lucky – both in terms of where I’ve worked and who I’ve got to work with – I do believe I’m pretty good at developing people and gangs – and I choose the word ‘gang’ very deliberate.

You see the word ‘gang’ means you have a motley crew of different people with different talents and outlooks who are united by a common philosophy, enemy and planning identity … whereas a department tends to be a production line of similar people, doing similar things with similar backgrounds and expectations.

Or as Lee Hill, my mentor and friend once said, “you can choose to partner with people who find interesting ways to open possibilities or people who are only focused on keeping things the same”.

And while there is nothing wrong with being boringly expected, it’s not what I value or what drives the greatest commercial growth … which is why – as part of the piece I was asked to write – I wrote this:

[Click on the image above to read it properly]
_________________________________________________________________________

It’s why I always say you should beware of those who offer convenient answers.

Or solutions that are more complicated than the actual problem.

Because you may find they end up costing you far more than the people who challenge or push you in terms of who you are pr who you want – or could – become.

See you properly a week on Monday – via something stupid on Friday.

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I’m A Burning Platform, Out Of Control. Apparently. (And Sadly, Not In A Good Way. Goddamnit)
October 23, 2025, 6:15 am
Filed under: Advertising, America, China, Doctor, Emotion, Empathy, Experience, Eye, Health, Travel

So today, I am going to the surgeon for my eye.

As I’ve written a bunch about, it’s not going great – in fact this is the first time in my life I’ve had an issue that [1] has lasted almost an entire year and – despite being diligent about the treatment I am on – [2] has got worse rather than better.

Last Tuesday I was given some medical results that led to – with no hyperbole whatsoever – the 4th worst day of my life.

Given the days that ‘beat it’ include my Dad dying and my Mum, you can tell it not only was bad, but really fucked me up for a bit.

To be quite honest, it the impact it had on my feelings, thoughts and behaviors scared me – which is why I am so grateful to so many people for reaching out and checking in, with a special mention to Peter, who – with the people he represents and works with – not only organized for one of the World’s leading surgeons in my diagnosis to get personally involved in my case, but to also provide me access to a place where they offer very specialized help and support to people in my situation an an island far, far away from distractions, interruptions and noise. I don’t know what I did to deserve it, but it’s pretty obvious words won’t do it justice.

On the bright side, it also led me to churn out my Life vs Age ‘thing’ … which was more my way to try and drown out the noises and concerns screaming in my head than any act of magnanimous generosity … and yet it led to 2 publishers, a Grammy winning founder of a production company, BBC Radio 4 and literally hundreds of people getting in touch to share their stories and offer their help.

For one of the worst days of my life, it was nice that some sunshine was still able to find a way through the cracks.

Anyway, the reason why last Tuesday was so bad was because of a result I had relating to the pressure in my eye.

Despite being put on the ‘nuclear option’ of meds, my surgeon broke the news to me that not only had they made no difference whatsoever – which is obviously bad – they didn’t know what was triggering it, which is an extra-level of bad.

In fact his exact words were:

“I’m sorry to tell you this Robert, but your eye pressure is currently out of our control”/

If they are words you don’t want to hear, what happened next was definitely not what anyone would to hear.

Made worse by the fact I was the one that inadvertently opened the door to it.

Because when he said that, I stupidly asked, “Just how out of control is it?”

To which he described this …

Yep, an oil rig on fire with oil not just fueling its anger, but spreading it.

As images for a patient to consider, it’s not just scary it just destroys all your hope and confidence which is why later today I get to discover if the treatment we’ve done to try and counter it has been the equivalent of calling in Red Adair – the US oil rig fire fighting legend – or just throwing more petrol all over it.

For fucks sake, I hope it’s the wrinkly, Yank with a penchant for putting out flames option.

Guess I’ll find out later today … but I don’t mind admitting I’m not just shitting myself, I’m terrified. I feel so bad for the doctor who will be giving me the test because not only will they have a patient who will be as tense-as-fuck, they will feel me trying to read their every movement, expression and reaction in a bid to work out if they’re about to tell me good news or utterly fucked news … despite the fact they’ll literally be passing me the result about 3 seconds after the tests are complete. [Once an only child, always an only child, haha]

Anyway, this is all my way of saying there will be no more posts from me for over a week – you lucky bastards.

Well, I say that, but there’s one that I pre-wrote for tomorrow and one utterly terrible pre-written one for Halloween … but I don’t come back properly until the 3rd November – Mum’s birthday. Though they’re pre-written too – haha. That said, I should point out my absence is not down to whatever the results of my eye will be – I’m actually off on a ridiculous and wonderful trip to Shanghai, Beijing and Nashville – and so I just hope the news I get later today doesn’t take any of the shine off it.

Or should I say take any of my shine from being able to truly enjoy it.

We’ll see. But look after your eyes because I tell you, it’s only when you realise you may not be able to see the world around you that you actually start valuing the World around you. What a fucking sick way to find out … biology is a dark, sick and twisted bastard, haha.

Till the 3rd Nov, bye lovely people …

________________________________________________________________________________________

AN UPDATE:

Had the test results and sadly, they were not good. Again. But there were some very positive news.

1. I’m officially a ‘medical celebrity’ who will apparently be studied and talked about by surgeons and trainee doctors for years so that’s a great achievement, obviously – haha.

2. The problem that started this whole journey off way back in January is finally fully under control [even though I’ll need meds for it for the rest of my life]

3. Because of this, the operation is still going ahead on Nov 12th, made possible by the intervention of Peter, who I mentioned above – who has ensured one of the world’s leading specialists in my area of diagnosis will come to NZ from the US to assist my surgeons with the approach for my treatment. Which is, let’s be honest, fucking amazing.

Whatever happens, the kindness and generosity of so many is what I’ll remember most from this whole shitshow. Though PM’s generosity is more than anyone else’s, haha.

While today had both shit and not-shit news, I feel way better than I did last week as we have a plan and an even stronger medical team. In fact, when telling a friend how much pressure had lifted from me, I told them I felt “like a new man” before correcting myself by saying, “I feel like the old me” which may be bad news for many but was meant to convey how I could feel my mischief, energy, take-no-prisoners-or-shit attitude rushing through my bones which means all is good and why I send big hugs and thanks to each and every one of you.

Everything you said and did meant the world to me.

More importantly, it made a big difference.

❤️ Rx

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Sometimes You Just Have To Stick Around Even If You Outstay Your Welcome …

One of the most special times of my life – not just career – was working at Wieden+Kennedy.

Specifically Wieden+Kennedy Shanghai.

Of all the adventures and experiences I’ve had in my life, it stands out highest simply because I feel a deeper sense to China and its people than any other place I’ve ever lived.

It helped that I was there during a time where the World needed China more than China needed the World – so I found myself invited into meetings and situations that frankly, few people – let alone strategists – would ever get to experience.

Wieden were amazing to me personally and professionally but I paid them back in droves.

But that said, leaving was very difficult.

They wanted me to stay.
A big part of me wanted to stay.
But I’d been there for a lonnnnnng time, I’d done pretty much everything that could be done – including starting and running The Kennedys – plus I had a young boy who needed a different environment to grow up in.

So with very bitter sweet tears, I said goodbye to a magical place in a magical country. Except I said it in a way where they would forever remember me. Specifically as the pain-in-the-fucking-arse I’d been to every single person in that place for seven fucking years.

You see about 6 weeks prior to leaving, I had 600 of these stickers made.

I then proceeded to spend the next 5 weeks hiding them everywhere.

From the – then – refurbished Shanghai office to all the local W+K hangouts, like Baker & Spice, Jamaica Blue, Little Catch and, of course, Nike HQ.

It made some people furious. Specifically one person. Which made me especially happy because in terms of making a final decision whether to stay or go, they were the determining factor on why I left.

And over the years, people would send me a photo where they had come across one or two.

And despite it now being 8 years … there’s still some there.

In fact, there’s now more than just some.

You see a few weeks ago, I was in Shanghai and was invited to visit the office.

I had not been in the place since I left … but given I’d now been away longer than I was there, it felt OK to go in.

And it was lovely and familiar.

But then it was a place where I did a lot of growing up.

And made a lot of friends … friends who are with me for life.

Which is why it was extra special for me to see some familiar faces from my time there.

And because of this, I wanted to honour the place and give them something new to show my gratitude and love.

So I gave them this:

That’s right, I made a new sticker to accompany the old ones.

“But how many stickers?” I hear you cry.

Well I couldn’t possibly divulge that information because it would ruin the fun of finding all of them, but in the interests of friendship, here’s a clue:

Now I fully appreciate this act of ‘love vandalism’ may result in them never inviting me back, but I do hope they see it as my own special way of showing my deepest and sincerest respect to a place and country I truly love.

Because Wieden Shanghai and China wasn’t just a place I lived and worked …

It was where I was reborn.

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It’s Worth Remembering That Customer Service Is About The Customer …

A recent area of growth has been the importance of the NPS score.

NPS – which stands for Net Promoter Score – is a way for companies to evaluate how their customers view them.

The higher the score, the more satisfied they are with the company. Or so they say …

Because while I appreciate there will be a lot of evidence to back up this equation, I find it fascinating that the way they do it is by adding a layer between brand and customer.

More than that, it dimensionalises ‘satisfaction’ into a numerical value … meaning humanity, nuance and individuality is washed over. Now I appreciate when you’re dealing with potentially ‘millions’ of people, it would be almost impossible to achieve this with more texture and intimacy, however I can’t help but feel this methodology also suits the C-Suite in companies because it allows them to be incubated from having to deal with customer issues and simply point to an outsourced number to justify how well they are doing.

Add to the fact that when asked to evaluate a company, most people will just choose a random number – simply because the service they experienced was transactionally efficient rather than something more meaningful or memorable – and the whole NPS score should be taken far more as a guide than a fact.

Of course, we live in a time where everyone sells everything with the confidence of unquestionable authority … which is why I saw two things recently that reminded me what good customer service is, without having t refer to a number between 0 and 10.

First was this:

A young boy was at a baseball game [Philadelphia Phillies] and his father was able to retrieve a ball that had been hit into the stands to give to him. Almost immediately, another fan came up and claimed it was theirs [it wasn’t] and basically intimidated the father into giving it them. Someone in the team saw this and immediately made amends … first sending them a bag of ‘team goodies’ while they were still in the stands, and then following it up by inviting him – and his Dad – to meet the players and receive a signed baseball bat from one of the stars.

It probably cost the team $100 max, but the emotional value was way, way more than that … which was also only increased by the speed of their action.

No processes to go through.
No layers of approval to obtain.
Quick, decisive action from the whole team – rather than just one department.

You can read about it by following these links.

First the incident.
Then the first follow up.
Then the meeting of the team.
Then the positive internet reaction.

The other is much closer to home and involves a courier company I wrote too.

I had got an email saying an item had been delivered to my house. Except it hadn’t.

I wrote to them to tell them that and almost immediately, they responded and told me they’d checked and could confirm delivery. Crucially they were able to tell me what was sent and I realized they were right and had confused their original notification for another product I was waiting for.

I wrote back to apologize and explain they were right and then – again, almost immediately – they sent me this.

Now I appreciate there may be an element of ‘lost in translation’ in this reply … but ‘we wish you a happy life’ is delightful. Even more so given it was my fucking mistake. But the real power of it is that as ridiculously over-the-top as it is … it’s also undeniably human. Not some contrived, often repeated set of words that have been carefully designed to ensure the company does not convey an inch of accountability in any interaction.

That’s customer service.

Everything else feels more like being in-service to the company legal department or C-Suite ego.

So while I appreciate we have to have systems and processes in place to deliver a level of consistency … when they take the precedence over ensuring customers comes out of any situation feeling at least seen or heard, then it’s no wonder we’re seeing more and more companies hiding behind NPS scores rather than listening, interacting and enabling their teams to deal with the needs of their customers, rather than the egos of their C-Suite.

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