Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Communication Strategy, Confidence, Corporate Evil, Culture, Effectiveness, Linkedin, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Mediocrity, Professionalism
Did you have a good Valentine’s Day?
Did you get loads of cards … flowers … money?
Nah, neither did I and frankly, I’m still in shock at how positive I was about it so let’s get back to normal with a rant.
About Linkedin.
Specifically people on Linkedin who seem to think they can do whatever the fuck they want.
I’ve come to the realisation that Linkedin is full of people who used to write posts in early Facebook days that said, ‘like this post if you want to end World hunger’.
I say that because the modern equivalent is when someone stupidly accepts an invitation and within a second, they’re in your ‘inbox’ flogging their advice and/or services and expecting you to want to desperately book a meeting with them to hand over your cash.
Except their emails tend to have a couple of fatal flaws.
They often have absolutely nothing to do with what you do.
Or they have everything to do with what you do, but they don’t realise that.
And they are written with such an attempt at casual professionalism, you know the same email has been received by 10,000 people that day.
Recently I got one within minutes – LITERALLY MINUTES – of absent-mindedly accepting a request.
It said this:
God, I have so many issues with this.
Even the first paragraph pisses me off.
Yes … I do mind them asking me that question. Any question.
I especially mind that they don’t give a fuck because they just launched into it anyway.
And then there’s a matter of that question.
That patronising, overly-simplistic, bullshit question that’s expressed with the sort of casual confidence of an arrogant junior planner who spouts all over Linkedin that they know the answers to why every brand is/isn’t successful, despite having never worked on them, their competitor or their category and yet they still don’t find that a hinderance to talking like they’re the CEO of the brand and their ‘newsletter’ [which claims to be read by people working at major brands, despite the fact it’s likely the intern] holds the secrets to untold fortune so you really should sign up for it NOW.
Breeeeeeeeathe.
And then after that question is their follow up ‘facts’.
And I haven’t even started on the fact what they’re saying is literally my job and frankly, its more insulting than the time I met Phoebe Philo of Celine fame wearing a T-shirt with my cats face on it. Despite her being a bloody awesome and beautiful cat.
I cannot tell you how much I hate this shit.
How over I am of all this bollocks.
Because while I’m all for people having a go, at least put in a bit of effort.
By all means fail gloriously but don’t do it because you’re lazy as fuck.
Jesus, I’m more professional than these fuckers.
Me.
And I went to a meeting with Phil Knight wearing a pair of Birkenstocks.
And as laughable as that, it’s still not as funny as getting an unsolicited email from someone proudly proclaiming they can help me get ‘a deeper understanding of my customers’ while inadvertently demonstrating how they have absolutely zero fucking understanding of the person they’ve just peddled their bullshit too.
Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Culture, Family, Jill, Love, Valentine's Day
So today is Valentine’s Day.
Also known as the florist industries ‘profit day’.
Now I’ve written a lot about Valentine’s Day over the years and it’s never been that positive. Namely because I think it has far more to do with fear than love. Hell, I even asked Jill to marry me a few days before Valentine’s Day because I didn’t want to be a victim of the marketing.
However I am conscious that my opinion is not everyone’s opinion and frankly, with all the shit going on in the World, Valentine’s Day is at least more positive than a bunch of things going on out there – despite the undertones of fear – so with that, I thought I’d link to 3 posts that I think embody the true meaning of love.
At least to me.
And what is even more scary is I’m not being sarcastic.
So with that, let me introduce you to some love stories that I connect to.
First the beautiful romance of Martin and Mercedes, then the story of Arthur Thomas and how love can last beyond a lifetime. And finally, Dan Aykroyd and his acknowledgement that even when love rips you apart, you can want the other person to be happy and hope they know how you will be forever grateful for what you had and what they made you feel.
Just for the record, I was going to link to a post about my parents and my love for Jill – but the former felt a bit too indulgent and the latter would mean upsetting Jill as she hates being mentioned on here [for obvious reasons] so I just hope she knows she is my bloody everything and I’d be lost without her.
I appreciate this is strangely positive for me, so let’s just double down on it by saying that whatever your situation, I hope today is one filled with good things, even if that’s positive memories of past love.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
Except to the florist and card industry – those money-grabbing, exploitative fucks.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Brand, Cannes, China, Comment, Complicity, Context, Creative Brief, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Differentiation, Distinction, Effectiveness, Honesty, Imagination, Marketing, Martin Weigel, Metallica, Nike, Paula, Planners, Point Of View, Provocative, Succession, Uncorporated, Wieden+Kennedy
When Tiger and Nike recently ended their relationship after close on 3 decades, there was a lot written about why.
Hot takes.
Wild ideas.
Conspiracy theories.
But among them all was a post by Tom Bassett – a brilliant ex-Wieden strategist who was there when so much of what became Nike folklore was written.
The reason his voice stood out is because it wasn’t WHY the relationship ended, but why it started.
At the heart of his story was the brief Phil Knight gave for NIKE Golf.
He said: “Get NIKE to be #1 in golf or we get out the category all together”.
Having had the errrrm, pleasure(?) to meet and present to Mr Knight a few times, I can literally hear him saying/barking this … and what I love about it is the stubborn, blinkered ambition.
We seem to live in a world where the majority of conversation is around optimization … efficiency … brand assets … and basically how to get the most out of what you’ve got.
There’s nothing wrong with that, except it’s all about not being wrong than being as good as you can be.
Or said another way, being comfortable with what you’ve got as opposed to being impatient for what you want to have.
Get to #1 is a proper goal. One where the evaluation criteria is very fucking simple.
No hiding behind incremental growth or internal metrics … #1 is a criteria that dictates decisions and investment rather than the other way around.
Sure, there are ways #1 could be reframed in an attempt to look like you’re doing better than you are . Let’s face it, we see this sort of shit in the ad industry all the time, especially around award time … but Phil Knight wasn’t about skewing results but going right at them … which is why he didn’t place any additional burdens on how to achieve goal, other than demand it was true to the sport and how NIKE see’s the athlete.
Sounds easy, but it isn’t.
To do that takes a lot of confidence.
Confidence in who you are … confidence in your team … confidence in what your company stands for and confidence your company is full of people who know what that translates to in terms of behaviour, consideration and action.
And that’s why we often undermine the value of confidence and right it off as bravado.
Of course it can be that, but it is also about trust, experience, knowledge and openness.
As a chef once told me when we were doing Tobasco research at W+K, “the more confident the chef, the less ingredients they use”
And that’s why I love the clarity of Phil Knight’s objective.
He could have added a million mandatories, but he knew that would add a million reasons why his objective would then be almost impossible to achieve.
At least in a realistic timeline.
Which is why, as difficult as the objective was, he increased its chances of success by being clear as fuck and – to a certain degree – open as fuck. Enabling the team to not just tackle the project head on – rather than tap-dance around politics and restraint – but to also place responsibility back on the company in terms of what it needed them to do to help make it happen.
Not just in terms of money, but action and change.
It is one of the many reasons why I loved my time in China … why I loved Branson’s brief for the Virgin lounge … why I love working for Metallica and Mr Ji.
Sure, in China’s case, it was often more the ambition and scale than the clarity … but for the others, it is/was the single-minded, stubbornness of their objective, the trust they placed in the people they were asking to help them do it, the commitment of the whole organisation to give it the best chance of making it happen and the willingness to walk away rather than accept a poor substitute of what they wanted to change.
We need more of that.
Creative work would be more amazing for that.
Effectiveness would be more powerful for that.
But sadly we’re in a world where it’s all about hedging bets, outsourcing responsibility and managing internal politics rather than being focused, fierce and open on creating change.
Proper change.
Real change.
Massive change.
It all kind of ties in with the ‘Strategy Is Constipated, Imagination Is The Laxative’ talk Martin, Paula and I did in Cannes last year.
The obsession with playing to the process while being continually outsmarted by those who are focused on enabling the possibility.
And while some claimed we were being irresponsible, unrealistic and even unprofessional in what we were saying, the reality is we have – and are – in the incredibly fortunate position of working with brands/people who prove the most responsible way to create powerful and lasting change is not by hedging your bets, but being willing and open to fight for it all.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Colenso, Comment, Confidence, Culture, New Zealand
Late last year, I talked about a photo I was sent from when I was much younger.
I talked about how I looked like the mass murderer Chopper Read and that it scared the hell out of me because while I never was a looker – bar the photo above, on my first day at ‘big school’, albeit with a ‘school badge’ on my jacket that was the size of Africa – I never realised I was that visually challenged.
On one side that is to be expected, because there is a huge amount of research that has identified that our brain is designed to protect us from harmful truth – hence ‘rose tinted glasses’ is not purely delusional, but also biological – but still, it was pretty confronting.
However, once the initial shock passed, it was kind-of liberating because when you know that your youth wasn’t your golden age, you don’t really care about all that stuff and then you can embrace who you want to be rather than feel oppressed by who society expects you to be.
Which is my way of explaining – and justifying – why I recently went to work dressed like this …
I should point out that I thought I was going as Patrick Star … a character from SpongeBob SquarePants, however seeing this photo, I realise I went as the Pornhub version, because I am a giant penis.
I appreciate many of you have long thought I was a dickhead, but my god – this is bad.
HR violation bad … made worse by the purple ‘cow print’ lower half which, in a certain light, looks a big like old man testicles.
That said, I went to great effort to colour code my footwear to my outfit with pink socks and yellow Jordan’s, which may be the first time in my history I have been so co-ordinated. Just a shame I decided to save it for the time I dressed as the biggest dick since Elon Musk.
So to my colleagues, I wish to publicly apologise and – in my defence – point them to this post, to explain how they are really all to blame for this alarming lack of judgement.
Have a good day … that is, if you can burn that image from your mind.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Brand, Comment, Communication Strategy, Creativity, Culture, Emotion, Family, Fashion, Fulfillment, Happiness, Health, Individuality
So as I wrote a couple of weeks ago, my health situation has had a profound affect on me.
Not just physically, but emotionally.
From actually liking myself a bit to suddenly being interested in clothes – simply because now I feel I have access to choice, whereas before I was left behind by it.
I know that might sound weird for a person who has seemingly only ever worn shorts/jeans, black t-shirts with weird logos on them and Birkenstocks … but while I love those items and still wear those items, I have to acknowledge some of this may have been influenced by their accessibility to me.
But now a whole new world has opened up.
Different shapes, different styles, different colours and different brands.
Admittedly, part of this has been helped by having a client who is the Godfather of Street Culture Fashion and who keeps sending me clothes from the brands he’s started/bought/owns … but maybe, for the first time in at least 3 decades, I not only can explore and experiment with fashion, I want to.
It’s stark, raving, bonkers.
And you know what else is crazy … they’re not too bad on me.
OK, I know I’m never going to be Mr Stylish, but I’m also not Mr Blobby anymore either.
It’s made everyone happier.
Me.
My family.
My friends.
My colleagues.
My clients … especially the fashion lot, who – maybe for the first time – are happy to be seen with me rather than just work with me.
But there’s one item of clothing that has now entered my life that really highlights the impact of this healthier lifestyle.
Again, part of it has been influenced by freebies – which in this case, the copious amount of NIKE’s I’ve been given over the years – but I’ve started buying socks.
FUCKING SOCKS!!! Who the hell am I?
But it gets worse, because they’re not the cheap, ultra-thin, black sock shit from the local supermarket that I’d have grabbed in the past [unless NIKE gave me some] … they’re socks like this:
Yep, designer-ish socks.
OK, so these are sweary socks – or KFC fan socks, depending where you look – but I have loads of different ones. In different colours. With different imagery and messages.
And I bought them.
With my own money.
And why did I do this?
Because – get this – I CAN COLOUR CODE THEM WITH WHAT I’M WEARING.
I find this both sickening and hilarious all at the same time. But I’m here for it, because it is a symbol that I am starting to care about myself in ways I never cared about myself. Not in some desperate need to look stylish – because we’ve already acknowledged I’ll never be that – but to remember than my health has given me choice.
Now I appreciate this sounds stupid.
And I appreciate most people have been this way for decades.
Plus – as a mate recently said – I acknowledge I’ve swapped one daft fashion addiction for another.
But for 53 years, I’ve never had a chance to explore this side of my character and so it’s all new, intriguing and fascinating. At least right now.
Of course it doesn’t mean I’ve ditched the birkies.
Or the jeans/shorts.
Or the black tees with weird logos on them.
It just means they’re more of a choice than a necessity and while there is a disgusting amount of superficiality behind what this has ignited within me, it’s quite an infectious feeling. Which is why I want to thank my family, friends, colleagues and clients for all their support and encouragement on this journey, because I couldn’t have done it without them. I should also thank them for not raising their eyebrows too much at some of the things I am turning up in each day, hahaha.
Hopefully you can tell from how much I’ve written about this subject in the last 4 months, that this has been an incredibly powerful and liberating experience for me. I may muck up in the future, but how I feel because of it is too strong for me to completely forget.
Which is why I can’t work out why health companies have not talked about this benefit in their advertising. Some may have mentioned it – albeit in very contrived and superficial ways – though most tend to either be utterly rational or all about body shape.
Now while I am sure those approaches connect to some audiences, from my perspective the most surprising and enjoyable benefit has been feeling I have been welcomed back into life. That I have choice. That I have a way to explore and express who I am and who I can be.
Or said another way, I get to play dress up, but for adults. And not in a weird way.
Well, not in the weird way some people could read that.
And while that may not sound exciting in words, for those experiencing it, it’s about as uplifting as you can get. Because you’re not just living life, you’re rediscovering it … but with all the experience and lessons from the years before. [But sadly, without the ability to exploit history to make loads of cash … damnit!]
As I’ve said before … should anyone be interested in knowing what I did and how I did it, just let me know. I’m no expert – and I still have a way to go – but I found a way to make it work for me and if it can help you, I will be happy to share.
No judgement. No expectations. And no recommendations on socks. Promise.