The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Relationships Build Business Better Than Models …

After the joy of yesterday’s post – which is more because of Otis celebrating his 10th birthday than anything I wrote – I thought I’d seize the good vibes by writing possibly the longest post I’ve ever written in the near 2 decades of writing this rubbish.

Of course I don’t assume anyone will read it – because who reads any of my stuff anyhow – but it is about an important lesson I learned recently and I wanted to document it – for me, if no one else.

So, one of the private clients I work with is worth an inconceivable amount of cash.

As in billions of dollars. Tens of them in fact.

Now I totally agree that having that amount of money is obscene, but what makes it easier – at least for me – is that:

They’re entirely self-made. They’re a true entrepreneur … taking on all the risk, rather than expecting others to cover it. They’re a patron and advocate for creativity. Not just in terms of their business, but creativity as a whole.

And if you think this all reads as being very ‘corporate toady’, you’d be right … because I am most definitely a fan.

But what’s interesting is how they make their money. Or should I say, how they create the conditions to be able to.

A few weeks ago, they asked me if I could fly to another country to meet someone for dinner.

Not just any person, but a bona-fide superstar. And no, I am not being hyperbolic.

Now there’s obviously a backstory as to how I found myself in this situation and why I was asked to do this by my client rather than [1] them or [2] someone more obvious and suitable – and the reason for it is more bonkers than you could imagine – but within a couple weeks, there I was, sitting opposite this world famous star, chatting about life while trying to act like it was all completely normal for me.

Of course, the person in question had done their homework so knew this meeting was legit, but at one point, they asked why I thought they should consider it.

After reinforcing I was the last person they should listen to, I simply said this:

“All I can tell you is everything they’ve done – and do – is built on wanting a long term relationship not a short term, quick-win”.

That was it. That was all I had.

Now there were 2 reasons I explained it this way.

One is because it’s true and the other is I wanted to convey that their ‘business model’ is playing the long game because it would be easy to assume anyone worth that amount of cash must be ruthless in how they operate and that could be very off-putting for someone who values their creative freedom and integrity.

What I mean when I say ‘long game’ is they invest in the individual, rather than ‘short-term opportunities’ … which means they not only are they happy to give the artists/partners the creative freedom – and control – that made them want to work with them in the first place, but they also don’t expect or demand a return on their investment in the shortest time possible because they see this as a relationship that will be measured in years, not projects.

Now, of course, there is method to this ‘modern-business-practice’ madness.

First is they believe that by investing in trust, transparency and relationship consistency, everyone will achieve a much greater return over a much longer period of time. Secondly is they obviously have no problem in knowing how to make money out of what they do so they know they’re not going to lose out being patient. And to top it all off, they’ve done a similar thing with many other high-profile celebrities/partners which – as they are all still engaged and involved years later – kind of proves they mean what they say.

Which leads to the point of this post.

Relationships matter.

I’m not talking about the sort where one person serves the whims and demands of another – which is how a lot of business today operates, especially in adland – but the type where the relationship acknowledges and values the skills, talent and benefits that each person brings to the table.

No short-changing or undermining. No downgrading or threatening. A relationship where the focus is on ‘what we can make create together’ rather than ‘what I you make out of you’.

How refreshing eh?

Except it shouldn’t be … it should be obvious, however thanks to procurement departments and corporate short-termism – we don’t see a lot of it these days.

At best, it’s a quick collab. At worst, its commercial exploitation.

In this case, my client wanted to work with this individual because they believe in them.

They like what they do.
They believe in how they think.
They’re excited by what can be made possible if they enable them to express their creativity at a different scale and through different art-forms than the ones they normally operate in.

But what makes this work is their appreciation of the artists mind.

The vulnerability of the creative process.
The need to explore before you commit.
The acknowledgement that when you try to create something no one has done before, it will fail before it wins.

And they’re there for it.

All of it.

They understand that to get to something great, the first step is to create an environment of encouragement and faith. Not just at the beginning of the process … but ongoing. Over and over again.

That doesn’t mean you pander. Nor does it mean you hold your opinions to yourself. But it does means you start off from a position of true alignment. Not just in terms of what your hopes and ambitions are, but how you want to realise them in terms of approach, expectations and responsibilities. Meaning everything you do comes from a position of shared responsibility and authority.

The other element is they also understand the adage of ‘it’s business, not personal’ is bullshit.

Business is personal.

Always.

The people who try to claim it isn’t are trying to justify bullshit behaviour.

It’s why my client spends a lot of their time connecting and committing to the other person. To make sure they’re not just in it together, but feel it.

Does that make ‘personal’ approach make things challenging at times?

Probably.

However by ensuring transparency and clarity from the beginning of the relationship – they not only build a relationship based on openness and honesty, they ensure the barriers that often get in the way of focusing on doing great things, get removed.

It all makes perfect sense, except we live in times where people choose to ignore it.

Preferring to optimise interactions.

To put themselves in positioning of authority.

To approach the relationship in terms of ‘what I can get out of them for the least amount of effort or loss of power’.

We’ve all met people like that.

Over the years I’ve had a bunch of people I’ve not heard from in years – or [thanks to Linkedin] never heard from in my life – get in contact wanting me to do something for them and I can literally feel the distain when I tell them, “I’m so sorry, I won’t be able to do that for you”.

I should clarify I have always tried to help people who ask for it … especially in terms of advice or a listening ear. However, when their ask is for me to connect them to friends, colleagues or clients for a shortcut to personal gain … unless they’re an old friend or someone I’ve had a long and personal experience of working with/alongside, they can fuck off.

It might sound harsh but I learned this the hard way.

One person in particular did this to me for a few times.

Continually contacting me under the guise of connecting with me but really wanting me to do something for them.

Contacts.
Introductions.
Feedback and advice.

And I did it, until I stopped.

Because I finally realised they were never contacting me for any other reason than to get something from me. They never just got in contact just to say hi. They never told me how my friends/colleagues had helped them. They never got back in touch to ‘ask me’ the questions they claimed they wanted to know – mainly because that was their ruse to get me to help them with other introductions.

I felt a bit stupid it took me so long, but I got there. And I cut them out my life because who needs that toxic shit.

And I get that sounds harsh, but I don’t care … especially as they still tried to use me until when the point they realised I wasn’t going to … so they went on a public rant about me that reinforced their ego, delusion and fragility.

Which gets to the final point of this post …

The word relationship is badly used, mis-defined and treated with ignorant flippancy.

It’s not about interactions or benefits, it’s about generosity, openness, understanding and trust.

You build it over time by investing and putting time into it.

Time to listen, share, discuss, engage, and give a shit.

It’s an act of consistency, equality and consideration … through good and bad.

And while I appreciate in these optimised, maximised, never-stray-from-the-process-or-rules, big-yourself-up-at-all-costs times, that may sound inefficient … but I have first hand proof, it’s much more effective.

In fact, it’s more effective than every marketing guru with their proprietary process/hyped-up, self-serving academic ‘degree’ – can ever imagine, let alone deliver.

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Ambiguous Mediocrity …

This is a month or so old, but I am finding it impossible to get out of my mind.

Like a car crash. Which this is.

Have a look at this.

What you’re seeing is part of a research report a company put out recently in NZ.

Look at it. Look!

This is where a bunch of ‘for profit’ research companies are these days … spouting ambiguous rubbish that [I assume] they believe is insight gold.

What makes it worse is some companies will no doubt have read this … been amazed by it … and then paid them handsomely for more of this … resulting in everyone [and I mean everyone, bar the company flogging it] losing.

Not just losing in the present, but in the future.

Which begs the question, how bad/ignorant/blinkered/out-of-touch are some organisations that they’re ‘informed’ by this? Worse … how bad/ignorant/blinkered/out-of-touch are some organisations that they’re satisfied with this level of superficiality?

For me, this sort of thing is an act of social criminality.

Actually, that’s not harsh enough, it’s an act of commercial criminality.

And the reason people are getting away with it is because too many companies have leadership who value ‘scalable convenient answers’ rather than truth, context and real commercial understanding. Only wanting news that paints them and their plans in the most positive light, regardless of what the reality may be. In other words, they seek ‘information’ that feeds and/or reinforces their God-complex … and far too many companies are happy to oblige because it’s an extremely profitable business approach for them.

But even this isn’t enough for some, with many now aspiring to become their clients strategic consultancy … meaning the work they do is as much about their future as their clients … and that’s why I’m so grateful for the researchers and research companies who believe in the craft, role and truth of the discipline.

The people who want to reveal rather than package-up.

Who see people as more than just walking wallets.

Who understand nuance rather than the optimisisation of efficiency
[to maximise their own profitability].

Who look for the why, not just the what.

Who are more interesting in exploring truth than flogging their ‘proprietary system’ … which more often than not, involves using bots and AI that are – to paraphrase Top Gun – are writing cheques reality can’t cash.

In other words, I’m grateful for people/companies like Ruby Pseudo, ON ROAD and a few others who play up to a standard not down to a convenience.

Research is important as hell, but only if it’s good research and there’s far too much out there being peddled that falls far short of that standard. And that’s why the discipline – and us, as an industry as a whole – need to expect more, demand more and most importantly, respect real stuff more. Because witnessing mediocrity is one thing, but when we let it undermine what we do – and can do – is another thing altogether.

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It’s Not Hidden In Plain Sight, It’s Your Sight That Is Hidden. [Be A Viewfinder Not A Screen]

A few weeks ago, I bought a camera.

To be honest, I never imagined I’d buy one again … but after my ridiculous 12 US/Canadian cities in 12 day tour, where 2 of my colleagues were using one, I realised the images they captured felt – not just looked -better than the images I’d taken on my, albeit impressive, iPhone 16 pro.

So I off I went and got one.

A compact SONY one.

And it’s lovely.

But while it has features galore – features I’ll never know, let alone use – it has the 2 things I wanted most.

1. A viewfinder.
2. A good lens.

The viewfinder became strangely important to me.

Sure, the camera has a big LCD screen I could use, but the viewfinder forces me to focus – literally and metaphorically.

The viewfinder demands I am present … insists I am aware of the moment I want to capture, even if it is for as long as it takes me to press the shutter.

It’s been wonderful because on top of everything else it’s let me experience, it’s reminded me the value – and importance – of patience and sacrifice.

The ability to be able to wait for what I want, rather than get whenever I can have.

God, I sound like the most spoilt only child don’t I … but in this technological world, abundance is at our fingertips. And while that can also happen with a digital camera, the viewfinder tempts you to play by its rules rather than have you make it adhere to yours.

And you know what? It makes you notice more.

Despite being closed off from the world when you look through the viewfinder, your eye sees more.

More of your context.
More of what you’re surrounded by.
More of what draws your attention and emotion.

The photo above is an example of that …
[You can see it in all its glory, here]

I took it on one of my daily evening walks..

I really like the way the Macca’s ‘M’ is peeping above the tree. As if it is ashamed to be seen near the KFC logo. Like it’s trying to hide from view. Worried how it must look to passers-by.

It’s different to how this scene would look if it was in America.

There, fast-food logos are all chest out, screaming “look at me … I’m important”.

A tussle for attention.

But where I live in NZ, it’s a bit different.

Not just because NZ is a very different place to America – though if truth be told, NZ bloody LOVES fast-food – but because these places only opened about a year ago.

Where I live it’s all family restaurants and small businesses, so when Maccas and KFC turned up, the kids in the neighbourhood saw it as the ultimate symbol of ‘progress’. Hell, the Maccas is open 24 hours – which even by general NZ standards – is a revelation.

And maybe that’s what I love about the photo …

The way it captures the tension of change.

Showcasing how fast food restaurants try to look like part of the community it invades.

Wanting to fit in but unable to help itself in wanting to tempt people into its temptations.

The bright coloured logos standing out against the evening blue sky.

I’ve probably passed this location at least 50 times, probably more … but I only noticed what it says about where I live, today.

Because of a viewfinder.

And a camera that doesn’t just let more light in, but also the imperfections.

Because vision isn’t about the ability to see everything, it’s the ability to notice what matters.

Which is a pretty good metaphor for both the art of strategy and the true definition of creativity.

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Don’t Confuse A Lack Of Tolerance For Bullshit As Being Too Old To Meaningfully And Valuably Contribute …

I can’t believe next week we enter the final month of 2024.

How the hell did that happen?

My god, it’s been a whirlwind and while I’ll write my annual ‘wrap-up’ post in a few weeks, I have to say – bar three truly tragic events for me – a pretty good year.

I don’t take any of that for granted.

I know it could all fall apart in an instant.

Which may explain why I follow certain theories/behaviours/beliefs that – despite knowing they’re likely utter nonsense – help me feel I’m doing things that encourage ‘good stuff’ to happen for me and my family.

Or should I say, ‘extend’ the good stuff that my family get to enjoy.

That’s right, I’m talking about certain superstitions that I follow.

I won’t go into them in detail for fear of the men in the white suits popping around to put me in a jacket with no sleeves, but on top of working hard, doing what I promise and staying interested and open to stuff … they heavily influence and drive my actions and behaviours in equal measure.

Now I should point out the driving force of this is less about maintaining an income [though that is there, of course] and more about satisfying my curiosity and hunger.

You see, despite being 54, I’m still fiercely ambitious and hungry to do new, exciting and good things. In fact – given the stuff I’ve been fortunate to do over the past few years with moving countries and working with artists in the music, fashion and gaming industries – even more ambitious and hungry than I’ve ever been.

Of course I appreciate I’ve done a bunch of stuff but as I’ve written before, the more I do … the more I discover things I want to do. The problem is, the older you get, the more you know you won’t be able to do everything and so you want to try and ensure your time is spent on the stuff that fulfils you rather than drains you.

I get some people may read this and think I’m a fucking idiot. And I get it … because the basic narrative that is pushed out is the older you get, the less passion you have.

Hell, companies have used that as an excuse to get rid of experience for decades.

Worse, for a long time I believed that view too …

But what I’ve learned is that in many cases, it’s not the passion that gets tired, but the tolerance for bullshit.

The politics.
The processes.
The procedures.
The shiny-new-things.
The hang-on-to-the-old-things.

Corporate bullshit is endless.

And while I’m not suggesting people actively enjoy subjecting you to it – nor am I claiming all of it is pointless – I understand why so many people choose to walk away from it.

Which is all my way of saying how fortunate I consider myself …

Because while I have faced a bunch of bullshit in my time, the vast majority of my career has been working for – or with – people/companies and brands who value the work more than the politics. Who choose creativity over complicity. Who value what you do rather than devalue how old you are.

And that means at 54, the bullshit hasn’t won.

It may one day, but it hasn’t yet.

And that means I don’t just get to keep working with talent regardless of age, heritage, geography or discipline. Nor just get to learn, collaborate and create with people from all walks of life and from all fields of creativity – united by our desire to make something really fucking good, rather than something ‘good enough’. It means I get to keep enjoying it … being inspired by it and bringing my own energy and creativity to it.

So while there’ll be people out there who’ll make more money, have more things, possess bigger job titles or career positions than I’ll ever have … and while there may well come a time where the possibilities I see will be possibilities someone else has to realise … I can feel I beat the bullshit.

And while many won’t understand that.

Or even agree with that.

For a kid whose parents instilled in him the importance of living a life of fulfilment rather than contentment, it means that should I ever get to meet Mum and Dad again, I can thank them for teaching me stubbornness isn’t a fault, when done right, it’s an enduring gift.

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Living Overseas Is A Gift That Keeps On Giving …

I’ve written a lot over the years about the gift of living overseas.

I’ve talked about how I totally understand why people worry about what they’ll miss … but they should also think about what they’ll gain.

I’ve highlighted how I owe everything in my life – bar my relationship with Paul – to me living and working overseas.

Everything.

My wife.
My son.
My cat.
My career.
My whole life.

I don’t say that lightly … and I don’t ignore the fact I’ve also faced things I’ve missed and miss … but overall, it’s an amazing gift the World has given me.

Recently I was given another reminder of how wonderful it is.

I was in Edmonton, in Northern Canada.

It’s the most northern city in the World with a population of 1 million.

I’d never been there before. I’d never even heard of it before. But there I was … in a wonderful restaurant called Ridge Rd, with some clients … when I received this:

It’s a message from someone I knew in China. Someone I last spoke to probably 10+ years ago. But here I was, in a city I’d never been to – far from pretty much every other city I’d been – having an old friend say they were there too. I can’t tell you how lovely that was. How wonderful that an isolated city had brought me closer to someone from my past.

Now you may think that’s kinda-crazy, and I guess it is … but it’s happened before.

It happened when I took my Mum to the North Pole to see the Northern Lights.
It happened when I was in a small town in Brazil.
It happened when I was in Russia.
It happened when I was in Finland.

It has happened a lot because I’ve lived in a lot of countries … and every single time, it’s made me feel incredibly fortunate for the experiences, places and people it has brought into my life.

I get it’s a privilege and I don’t take that for granted.

But that privilege is far more than simply being able to live in different countries or earn different amounts of money – if you’re lucky. It’s about the ability to connect to different people, cultures and contexts. Their backgrounds, their viewpoints, their ambitions, their fears, their issues, their opportunities, their hopes, their references, their perspectives … that’s what the privilege is really about.

It makes you a bigger and better person for it.

Not just in terms of your own knowledge, but your own place in the world.

Which is why, when I got that random SMS from someone I knew in China while sat in a small restaurant in a small city in Northern Canada, I was so happy. Because that could only happen because I said ‘yes’ to opportunities when arguably, it would have been easier to say no.

I get it’s hard. I get not everyone has that chance.

But if you do, grab it. Because nothing lets you feel you’re living life than hearing from people you would have otherwise never met in places you never imagined you would ever go.

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