Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Children, Complicity, Culture, Daddyhood, Dance, Emotion, Empathy, Experience, Family, Fatherhood, Generosity, Happiness, Love, Loyalty, Mum, Mum & Dad, My Fatherhood, Otis, Parents, Respect
A few years ago, I wrote about how some people think they have the right to judge your kid.
And your parenting.
I also noted how I’d been suckered into validating their commentary.
Until I came to my senses.
The story is Otis was – and still is – an energetic kid.
When we lived in Shanghai, LA and London, we would go out a lot and he would be a whirlwind of excited, happy energy.
It was – admitedly – relentless.
Whether 3pm or 3am, he seemed to always want to play, smile, laugh, do things with his adoring parents.
Often, when we were out, we would see people looking at him running around the park, shouting to himself … and then saying to me, “he’s got a lot of energy hasn’t he?”
And while they weren’t saying it as a diss, they weren’t saying it as a compliment either.
What makes it worse is I would reply with a weary, “you better believe it”.
Then one day I realised what I was doing.
My son … my wonderful, brilliant, joyous son was being judged by his Dad.
Worse, he did it to let perfect strangers feel justified in their fucked-up judgement.
What the hell?!
Otis wasn’t doing anything wrong … plus he was 2 or 3 years old for fucks sake.
More than that, he has always had a very strong sense of justice and fairness and so the last thing he would ever want to do is cause others discomfort.
And he wasn’t, he was just running around … exploering and experiencing the World.
I felt an immense amount of anger – more at myself, but definitely at the ‘critics’ as well – and vowed that would never happen again.
And it didn’t and it doesn’t.
Because when anyone said/say’s that to me about Otis, I now reply … “I know, isn’t it great”, and they always look at me before slowly nodding, either because they feel they have to or because they realise the problem isn’t my kid, but their increasingly small mindedness and old-person energy.
I say this because I recently watched this …
I am sure there will be people out there who will say it’s unprofessional.
That her actions are encouraging her child to be more ‘needy and demanding’.
That she just made a huge career limiting move, undermining all the hard work she has put in.
And they’re entitled to their opinion except it doesn’t matter.
Not in the slightest, however much you think it does or tell yourself it does.
Hell, even if you were one of the judges critiquing her dance, it doesn’t … because while you may have a certain amount of power in your hands in terms of what the implications of her actions will be, the reality is they won’t care.
Because whatever you think is more important than their child, you’re wrong.
They may do things you wouldn’t.
They may value things that you think they shouldn’t.
Their child may need things you would never consider.
But it’s NOT YOUR CHILD so it literally doesn’t matter.
In fact, unless you think the child is in real danger – or a cause of real danger to others – you should be minding your own business. And even if they are in – or causing – danger, your actions should be pointed to people who can legally or professionally help, rather than think you have unconditional rights.
I love what this gymnast did.
For me, it was beautiful both in terms of her talent and her love.
Even more so, at a time where Linkedin is overflowing with people acting like ‘winning justifies any sacrifice’.
With AI impacting our lives in increasingly dramatic ways, ‘family’ is the one thing AI can never replace.
It will try.
But it will fail.
Because while family is universal, it’s deeply personal and individual … which is why the best advice for anyone thinking of discussing/judging/commenting on the innocent actions or behaviour of a child that isn’t yours, is this.
“Are you the parents of the child?”
If not, SHUT THE FUCK UP.
You’re welcome.
Good news: I am away until Friday so you can enjoy a few days peace after that rant-fest.
You’re welcome. Again.
Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Emotion, Empathy, Experience, Humanity, Love
One of the members of my wonderful gang of misfits – James [Bennett, not Tucker] – recently showed me a website that is a testimony and celebration to the best of humanity.
Not because it’s slick.
Not because it’s academic.
Not because it’s beautiful.
But because it’s pure.
A place where you get to watch clips that few people have ever witnessed. One after another.
There’s a couple of reasons why the ‘watch count’ is so low.
One is because what you see is nothing more than an everyday moment that someone captured and decided to upload. The other is because the people who uploaded them didn’t even think [or know] how to name the clip … so you end up watching a stream of stuff that have titles like: IMG 4856 or DSC 3957, basically the number given to the clip by whatever recording device they filmed it on.
So with that in mind, when I said it was ‘pure’, you’re assuming I meant ‘pure shit’, aren’t you?
And if you do, you’d be wrong.
Because in this world of bombast, hype, clickbait and superlatives, these clips pull you in because they’re none of that. They are a celebration and testimony to humanity at its purest because they capture something innocuous that meant something important to whoever uploaded them.
We all have those things …
Memories that would mean nothing to anyone else but to us … they play on an endless loop in our hearts or minds.
A first bike ride.
A school sports day.
A cuddle with your pet.
A plastic bag in the wind.
A stupid race in shopping trolleys.
Cycling down a hill to get the speed so you can jump over your mates.
A Sunday where everyone is in the same room, doing different things and yet together.
Every clip is a different moment. Someone else’s moment. And yet it is yours too.
The reason the title of this post – and the website it refers to – talks about astronauts, is because when you go to it, the experience can feel like you are one. Miles up in the sky … peering through the little window of your rocket down onto the planet you left behind.
Except they don’t mean the planet you left literally … they mean it emotionally.
Because we fill our lives with noise, distraction, acceleration and, far too often, bullshit … meaning we often forget, miss or ignore the fleeting moments that ultimately make – and made – our lives, ours.
The things that are seemingly small, but ultimately made a big impression on us – regardless how long it lasted.
All the videos come from YouTube and were uploaded in the last week or so.
Each one is unnamed, unedited, and unseen by anyone, except you.
It may only last a few seconds, but the feeling may never leave.
Humanity has never needed us to be astronauts so much. Enjoy your trip.
Your journey into space commences in …
10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Apathy, Aspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Auckland, Community, Effectiveness, Efficiency, Emotion, Empathy, Environment, Experience, Humanity
I appreciate that in the first month of 2026, I have enjoyed 2 national holidays … which is on top of the almost ONE MONTH Festive Holiday than many in NZ get to enjoy.
Which leads to the title of this post.
The good [for you] is I don’t get any more national holidays for almost 6 whole, bloody months … so you can revel in my obvious pain and discomfort.
Which leads to the Bad News, again for you.
As I don’t get any more national holidays for almost 6 whole, bloody months, there’ll be no break from blog posts.
See, be careful what you wish for.
Talking of what you wish for, recently I stopped in a small town and and saw this:
I have to say, not only did it catch my attention, it made me feel quite emotional.
Given I had never been to this place in my life, that might sound a bit weird – it IS a bit weird – but it was also lovely to see a community looking out for its greater good.
For someone who feels he can only breathe – and find peace – in the chaos of big cities, I’ve increasingly come to appreciate the value, importance and warmth of community.
Maybe it is the relatively small size of NZ, but I’ve really come to understand it – and its role – here than anywhere else I’ve ever lived … including the very small village we moved to in England during COVID, a place so small that it consisted of 2 pubs and an [in]convenience shop – so named, as it never had any fixed opening times so it was always a lucky dip.
Don’t get me wrong, people looked out for each other, but you knew that their needs always came first.
Maybe that’s the same in NZ, but it doesn’t feel like it. Not with everyone, anyway.
And that’s why I liked this sign – or what this sign was trying to do.
To help the town evolve, innovate and be more useful to more people.
Both in terms of those who live in the town and those who could come visit.
At a time where it feels governments and business are increasingly seems out-of-touch with people’s reality – or worse, actively not giving a shit about it – it was just a nice reminder that ‘hope and optimism’ is born as much from feeling you’re not out on your own, as it is about seeing a path forward.
Maybe certain ‘marketing science experts’ would be better encouraging practitioners to see audiences and communities on their terms rather than as walking wallets who are waiting to hand over their money as soon as you have exposed them to the same efficient distribution of formulaic brand assets that they’ve told every brand to blindly bombard them with.
Just a thought, especially on Super Bowl day … where we will see tens of millions spent on sponsored [Dad] jokes and celebs-for-hire appearances.
Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Business, Childhood, Clients, Comment, Confidence, Creative Development, Creativity, Dad, Effectiveness, Emotion, Empathy, Experience, Family, Friendship, Loyalty, Marketing Fail, Mum, Mum & Dad, Tom Stoppard
First of all a huge thanks to all the people who got in touch about my good eye news yesterday. Given how much your support through the challenge of last year meant to me, you just added the icing on the top.
So back to the post …
A while back, the great playwright, Tom Stoppard, died.
His death affected me because he was someone my family didn’t just respect highly, but knew well.
Especially my Auntie Silvana, who first met him when they worked at the iconic Aldwych theatre, London.
If truth be told, I’d not thought about Tom for years but on hearing he had died, I realized the people in my life who would be the most upset at this news – namely my Mum, Dad and Aunt – had all gone, and somehow that made the news the more potent.
Unsurprisingly, news of Tom’s passing led to many stories about him being told in the international media.
Stories about his talent.
Stories about his stories.
And stories about his integrity.
The word integrity is one that is often overused and incorrectly used.
Too often used to justify a one-off decision and/or a small act of consciousness within a big pattern of complicit acts.
But Tom wasn’t like that.
Even those who would label his decisions as ‘stubborn’ would grudgingly acknowledge – and respect – he was simply being Tom. Doing what he said he would do, regardless of opportunity, pressure, money or fame.
At a time where people and companies will seemingly destroy any relationship, promise or agreement for the ability to squeeze out $1 more than they had before … it’s beautiful Stoppard would never entertain doing such a thing.
Nothing sums this up more than this story of when Spielberg wanted him to write the screenplay for Jaws …
Isn’t that amazing?
It was also smart … because not only did it make Spielberg want to work with him even more, it had the same effect with the people at the BBC.
As I wrote a while back, our industry loves to talk about integrity and relationships but rarely seems to understand what those words actually mean, let alone how deeply entwined and interconnected they are.
As I wrote a while back about a private client of mine – the biggest street fashion investor and most profitable retailer on the planet – powerful, valuable and sustainable relationships aren’t built on convenience, but on inconvenience … and how your actions, honesty, transparency and focus continually demonstrate how you never lose sight of what you’re building together, how you want to build it and what each other is able to do because of it.
Also known as integrity.
Thank you Tom. We need more people like you … or at least acting like you.
Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Clients, Colleagues, Comment, Communication Strategy, Community, Confidence, Conformity, Content, Context, Contribution, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Differentiation, Distinction, Education, Effectiveness, Equality, Experience, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Marketing Science, Otis, Parents, Research, Respect, School, Standards
As many of you know, Otis has dysgraphia.
For those who don’t know what that is, it’s a condition that means – while his capacity to learn is the same as everyone else’s – the way he learns is different.
I’ve written about how his school has tried to accommodate him and how grateful we are for that, but the reality is – understandably – most schools are designed to cater to the masses, not the edge … so as much as Otis did well, it still meant he was being taught [and measured] to a standard more than his potential.
Anyway, this year – because he was due to change school having turned 11 – we decided to take the plunge and enroll him in a specialist creative school that follows an educational model that has been specifically designed for kids who have ability, but learn differently.
I am massively against private education, but within minutes of walking in – I got very emotional because I knew this is what he needed. What would help him thrive. Not to be better than others, but to be better for himself.
Within a few days of attendance, he proved we were right.
On about the 3rd day, he came home and told us why he knew this school was right for him.
It wasn’t because there’s only 90 kids in the entire school
[when previously there were 70 just in his class]
It wasn’t because the building feels more fun ad agency than place of studious education.
It wasn’t even because it’s next to a beach which the whole class goes to every day.
No, it was this: He doesn’t need to charge his laptop every day.
Now you may think that means he’s not doing much learning … but you’d be wrong. In fact, you couldn’t be more wrong.
You see, at his old school, all he ever did was use his computer.
Part of this was because dysgraphia affects your ability to write with a pen, so he did everything on a laptop. But the other part of this is because his teachers – in a bid to keep him busy while also needing to give attention to the rest of the class – gave him endless worksheets to fill in.
In essence, his education was more about data entry than learning.
That’s not a diss, we understand the situation they were in and were very grateful for the genuine interest in trying to help … however in just a few days, Otis has discovered what education really is about … what it really means … how it really feels.
And while he has stated he finds this harder … he’s not just happy about it, he’s happy about how he’s being encouraged to approach it.
Learn not follow.
Think not repeat.
Experience not reference.
Inclusive not exclusive.
Engaged not left to type.
Which is why the fact his computer only needs charging once-a-week rather than everyday is so noticeable and powerful.
Not just to him, but to his Mum and Dad as well.
It reminds me of the time I was doing a project for Coca-Cola in Indonesia.
We’d launched the Open Happiness work and I’d been sent to Indonesia to talk to kids about what optimism meant to them.
I remember talking to some kids – about 15 years old – when one of them took me to the other side of the street and pointed into the distance.
All I could see was a skyline filled with tall buildings and cranes that were building even more tall buildings so I asked him what I was supposed to be looking at.
“The cranes”, he said. “I’m seeing my future being built in front of my eyes”.
I loved it. I loved how they’d just communicated something pretty fluid and morpheus in a way that suddenly was clear-as-fuck. Something I didn’t just understand, but felt … while somehow also ensuring I was very aware of the context, conflict and challenge they’d gone through leading up to that point.
Like with Otis’ and his use of the battery % on his laptop to help me truly appreciate the journey he’d been on, the comment about the cranes made a lasting impression on me.
Which highlights a really important point.
People very rarely connect, project, express and see meaning in things in ways that reflect how we want them to communicate to us.
That doesn’t mean they lack ability, it means we lack the ability to translate them.
Some of that’s because we’ve become an industry that values convenience over nuance. Some of that’s because we’ve become an industry that values answers over understanding. Some of that’s because we’ve become an industry that values the functional not the emotional.
Some of that’s because we’ve become an industry that values what the clients want to say more than what the audience want to hear. Some of that’s because we’ve become an industry obsessed with the ‘science’ of marketing, not the people it’s for. But most of it’s because we’ve become an industry that places greater value on audiences repeating a specific set of words based on our communication than having them express its impact on them through their individual feelings, emotions and behaviours.
My son … and that kid in Indonesia … not only helped me understand what education and optimism meant to them in ways that no focus group or data set could ever achieve, but they gave me access into their world.
How they see it.
How they interpret it.
How they live within it.
How they cope inside of it.
How they hope to experience it.
The more we open our eyes and ears to what is going on in our audiences world – rather than focus on what we want them to specifically repeat in their world – the more we not only can make a bigger difference to our clients in the work we create, but the more our clients will make a bigger impact on the people they need.
Or as my friend Andy once said:
“Just because someone repeats what you want to hear, exactly as you want to hear it … doesn’t mean they believe a fucking word of it”.