Filed under: Childhood, Dad, Daddyhood, Family, Fatherhood, Jill, Love, My Fatherhood, Otis, Parents
My dearest Otis.
I loved you before I even met you.
I love you more than you will ever comprehend.
And while you can get a teensy-bit exasperated with me, when I tell you that every single day, the fact remains I will continue to tell you. Every single day.
I can't help it.
I couldn't stop even if I tried.
But I don't want to try, I love every single thing about you.
Your kindness. Your cheekiness. Your ideas. Your laughter. Your mischief. Your curiosity. Your heart. Your emotions. Your love.
It’s breath taking for me to see and I am so proud of the boy you are and the boy you will be.
Actually it’s more than that.
I’m proud I’m your dad, full-stop.
So to my wonderful boy, happy 6th birthday.
I know it is a strange one this year with all that has happened in the past months, but I want you to know that spending so much time with you has been one of the greatest experiences in my whole life.
Keep being exactly as you are.
To your Mum and me, you are perfect.
Love you,
Rx
Filed under: America, China, Comment, Dad, Daddyhood, Emotion, Empathy, England, Family, Fatherhood, Jill, LaLaLand, London, Love, Mum & Dad, My Fatherhood, Otis, Parents
In many ways, this was a big year for Otis.
While he had moved from Shanghai to Los Angeles, he was so young that he probably didn’t take it all in.
But by the time we left Los Angeles for London, he had made some deep connections.
His friend Jack.
His love Elodie.
His school mates and adventurous life in the sun.
And yet he took it all in his stride.
Sad to say goodbye, but happy to explore somewhere new, boosted by the fact he would get to see his ‘Oddparents’ – Paul and Shelly – a lot more often.
And within days, he was a Londoner.
Sure he had a strange American accent.
Sure he kept talk about dollars rather than pounds.
But for all the upheaval he was going through, he embraced it all.
New home.
New school.
New friends.
New way of living.
It was here he started to identify what he loved.
We wanted him to experience a range of things so he could discover what he liked.
And while he liked being a ‘ninja’, he didn’t want to do martial arts.
And while he enjoyed watching football with his dad, he didn’t like organised sport.
Instead he loved acting.
LOVED IT.
Watching him practice his lines was a bloody delight … the focus, the commitment.
And while he would get a bit shy at the point of performance, you could see how much his whole being lit up when he was doing it.
I have no idea if he will continue to love acting or performance.
Right now, he’s into video games in a big way.
But whatever path he chooses in the future … as much as I don’t want him to have a life of struggle, the thing I want most for him is fulfilment.
Not comfort.
Not content.
But fulfilment … as my parents always drilled into me.
To be honest, I didn’t really understood the difference between fulfilment and contentment till I was in my 30’s. But now I realise it has a totally different imputes when you go from the ‘receiver’ of that intent to the ‘giver’.
I hope I can help Otis understand it.
But more than that, I hope I can witness Otis embracing it.
Filed under: Dad, Daddyhood, Family, Fatherhood, Jill, Love, Mum & Dad, My Fatherhood, Otis, Parents
So as I wrote yesterday, this week is dedicated to Otis because on Friday, he turns 6.
This post is all around this photo.
This was the moment Otis was handed to his Mum after his operation.
We had flown to Australia for this treatment because even though we lived in Shanghai – we were told there was a hospital in Sydney that specialised in the procedure he needed.
We had flown in a couple of days before so he could see his Gran and cousin and all he knew was he was having a whale of a time. This was good as we wanted that more than anything.
The night before he was being admitted, the hospital told us he should not eat and we should try to keep him awake as late as possible. While the evening went well with time spent at the park near our place in Balmain …
… things quickly took a turn for the worse when we had to deny him food.
While we knew it was for his own good, it was so hard – especially as he didn’t take it very well – and it made Jill and I even more anxious than we were already.
We didn’t sleep the whole night and were grateful when 6am rolled by as it meant that was the time we could leave our hotel in the City and drive him to the hospital.
Fortunately Otis was so exhausted he was asleep for the entire journey and that removed some of the tension that was in the air.
The check-in was fine and the doctors told us what they were going to do and then they asked if we could help them administer the general anaesthetic. In essence, they wanted one of us there so Otis would feel calm as they placed a mask over his face.
I couldn’t do it …
I wish I could, but the whole thing triggered the experience I had with Mum a year earlier when she had the operation that so sadly failed, so instead, my wonderful, beautiful, compassionate Jill went in.
She came back very upset and I remember being so worried, but she told me it was all fine – it was just the sight of seeing our son be put to sleep that had deeply affected her.
I can’t imagine how hard that must have been.
To put your child in a position where they are intentionally losing consciousness must be against every instinct a parent can have.
We then spent the next couple of hours trying to be calm while secretly shitting ourselves. Of course, compared to many parents – what we were going through was nothing. When I think back to all the challenges Andy and Maria had to deal with, with Bonnie, I feel embarrassed to admit how worried we were … but we were so you can imagine the relief we felt when Otis was brought back in and placed in his loving mum’s open arms.
Everything was fine.
The operation had been a success.
But nothing made me feel so at peace as when he was back in his Mum’s arms – watching the 2 people I love the most in the World be together. Providing each other with the comfort and love they needed to feel from each other.
I still love that photo, even though it commemorates a time that was very worrying for us.
It kind-of reminds me of the very first time Jill saw Otis.
He’d just been born in the hospital in Shanghai and the way she said, “Oh hello … you’re so beautiful”, when he was placed on her chest is burned in my mind.
Here she was, meeting the wonderful kid she’d been carrying around inside her for 9 months.
A child we had so dearly wanted.
It’s one of the greatest moments of my life and this photo reminds me of it.
The way she looks at him.
Wanting to see him while protecting him.
An instantaneous wave of the most intense love.
A calm voice to soothe him after his adventure.
The beginning of the next.
I always knew a child was a wonderful thing. I have always wanted them – I just wasn’t ready. And while I don’t regret that, I can say the experience is bigger and better than I ever imagined.
And while I am sure most parents feel this way about their kid.
This one is mine.
This is my Otis.
While I appreciate he hasn’t gone through as many challenges as other kids out there, he has faced his own version of them. Less medical and more emotional because his parents keep bloody moving country.
And while we were still living in Shanghai at that point, he gave me a big clue he was destined to take challenges in his stride, because 36 hours after the above photo was taken, he was at his grannies, like nothing had happened.
I love this kid more than I can ever properly convey.
Happy birthday for Friday son.
Filed under: Comment, Dad, Daddyhood, Family, Jill, Love, Mum & Dad, My Fatherhood, Otis, Parents
So on Friday, my beloved Otis turns 6.
SIX!
It’s gone in the blink of an eye and yet, when I think of all the things he’s gone through, he’s packed so much in.
Born in China.
The Californian life in LA.
The rush, bustle and noise of London.
The peace and tranquility of country-life.
And soon, another new adventure in New Zealand.
In-between that, he’s seen his Dad collapse when his Mum – Otis’ Nona – passed away. Learned to say goodbye to people he had grown to love. Discover how to deal with new environments like homes and schools. And explore the majesty of the World by visiting countries such as Italy, Canada, Japan, America, England, China and Australia.
For 6 years, that’s more than many fit into their entire and yet he has embraced it with a level of happiness, curiosity and excitement that takes my breath away.
I honestly feel it’s an honour to be his Dad and given this will be the strangest birthday he will [hopefully] ever have thanks to COVID, our goal is to try and make it one of the most memorable.
To commemorate that theme on this blog, every day this week will be dedicated to him.
No comments [except on his special day], just posts that attempt to put into words how much he is loved, focused on different periods of the life he’s lived so far.
Not because he’ll care – or even know – but because I want to celebrate a person who is everything to me. Someone who has taught me more than I’ve probably taught him and, in all honesty, is the absolute best part of who I am, who I’ve ever been and who I will ever be.
So this week is dedicated to Otis … the kid I loved before we ever met.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Brand, Brand Suicide, Business, Chaos, China, Colenso, Comment, Communication Strategy, Creativity, Culture, Deutsch, Diversity, Emotion, Empathy, Experience, Family, Imagination, Innovation, Insight, Jill, London, Management, Marketing, Martin Weigel, Metallica, Nike, Otis, Planners, Planning, Point Of View, Purpose, R/GA, Shanghai, Singapore, Social Divide, Sport, Technology, The Kennedys, The Kennedys Shanghai, WeigelCampbell, Wieden+Kennedy
When you’re my age, you get to look at your career and see the different phases that it passes through.
I remember one year at Wieden, we seemed to make more beautiful, highly-crafted physical books on culture than we did ads.
Now I’m a huge fan of these – and still do them – but that year I think we made about 10, which was frankly ridiculous.
Then there was the year I got told I’d spoken at more conferences than anyone at Wieden.
It wasn’t said as a diss, more a fact – though I do remember Luhr looking at me with the face of someone who couldn’t work out why anyone would want me to talk at their event.
He wasn’t wrong.
Then there was the year I seemed to be in every bloody Asian marketing book or article and then of course, The Kennedys.
It happens. It’s rarely an intentional thing, but the nature of the business means it can be like that … and while I’ll always prefer to be involved in creating stuff, it does let you feel things are evolving and that’s a good feeling.
Well this year is another one of those years.
Part of this is because of the situation the World is in and part of it is because of the situation I have found myself in.
However, whereas previous years have seemingly had singular focuses, this year has had two.
Icons of culture and podcasts.
Both have been pretty awesome.
Musicians … Fashion superstars … Gaming Royalty … Billionaires.
Frankly people who should know a lot better than to ever want me to work with them … and yet, for reasons I don’t understand but am utterly grateful for, they have.
It’s certainly very different to the work I’ve done in the past, but it not only is introducing me to a whole new world of creative expression – from developing new concert experiences to video game design to stuff that is genuinely almost impossible for me to describe as it’s just plain beautifully bonkers – it’s letting me work with people who are recognised as being the best in their field so to be in this position … and to have Colenso to look forward to in addition … feels like winning the lottery.
I know this all sounds like humble bragging – but that’s not the intent.
To be honest, it’s more about me writing it down so I never forget this feeling.
This moment.
Because as tough as it is for people all around the World, I am very, very fortunate so many good things have come my way.
But that’s not what this post is about, it’s about the other thing I’ve been doing a lot of.
Podcasts.
I’ve done a ton this year.
[Here and here and here for example]
Why people want to hear from me – especially when I write so much bollocks about my life on here – is another thing I don’t get … but it’s been fun.
Recently the lovely/stupid people at Colenso had chat with me for their Love This podcast …
We cover all manner of subjects … from running a planning gang to developing creativity in a pandemic to how to be a fucking idiot … so if you’re bored, an insomniac or are jealous of Colenso’s brilliance and are looking forward to the pain they’ll experience with me in the building, you can listen to it at one of these places.