The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Why I Wish Today Revealed We Were All Fools, Rather Than Victims …

God, that’s a heavy title for a post isn’t it.

Especially when it’s not about the state of the World, but the fact it’s April 1.

A day – like International Women’s Day – where brands put out work in an attempt to show another side of them.

The human side … as defined and written by the AI system they outsourced thousands of people’s jobs too.

Anyway, with all the shit going on around the world, I don’t know if any joke is suddenly going to make humanity feel better … unless of course, they reveal we’ve all been living in a real-life version of that episode of 80’s TV show Dallas, where – after a whole series exploring ‘who shot JR Ewing’ – they revealed it was all just a bloody dream.

[Look it up, it’s wild]

Soooooooo … instead of going through the effort of trying to write an April Fool post that won’t fool anyone and certainly won’t make anyone care, I thought I’d just point you to the best one I ever wrote.

A post that not only fooled a few people – who obviously didn’t read it all the way through – but was picked up by some international media as a ‘new methodology to the planning discipline’. Hahahaha.

It was even more pleasing than the time The Times newspaper in the UK quoted the fictitious research company we set up – Halibut Fisher – to highlight how badly Chinese society was being represented and understood by Western media. You can read some of the ‘insights’ we wrote about on Asian Yang – the blog we set up to commemorate how blinkered, gullible and lazy so many organizations are when dealing with cultures outside of their own.

Anyway, with that, have a great April Fool Day and enjoy reading about Leon and his introduction to Method Planning™

For the record, Leon still – amazingly – talks to me.

Even more amazingly, he has an important gig at a tech company.

Which means [1] even my best efforts couldn’t undermine his talent and [2] tech companies don’t check all the data they steal from everyone. Haha.

Oh, and if you’re so inclined, you can waste even more of your time reading some of the other April 1st posts I’ve written which some people also fell for … which I’d love to think was due to my brilliant writing, but was likely due to the fact I was in a totally different timezone to them so it wasn’t April 1 for them. Damnit.

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How I Scammed Myself Thanks To This Bloody Blog …

A few weeks ago, I received this email.

I know it’s small – and blurry – so out of the kindness of my heart, let me replicate what it says:

Hi Rob, I hope this message finds you well.

My name is Thomas and I am a recruitment consultant working on behalf of a large marketing firm.

I found your Linkedin profile and was impressed by your background and professional experience.

We are currently recruiting for several positions and would like to know if you a opportunities with us. We are looking for innovative and forward-thinking people who are passionate about building the future.

I think you would be an excellent fit for this organization, It you’re ready to take the next step in your career, we’d love to hear from you.

Please apply directly through our Careers portal.

Warm Regards.
Thomas Ryan
Recruitment Consultant

I’ve got to be honest, it really pissed me off.

Not just because it was speculative.
Not just because it was unsolicited.
Not just because it was ambiguous.
But because it was also presumptuous – exemplified by the ‘book a call’ link at the bottom.

I am fed up of how lazy some recruiters are – especially as some poor company is paying them for their ‘expertise’ in finding talent – so this time, instead of ignoring them, I decided to reply to them.

So I sent this:

Hello Thomas, thank you for reaching out.

I hope you will forgive me, but I receive many of these emails so to ensure we’re both on the same page, could you let me know what it is about my experience you feel is especially relevant for the opportunity you represent?

In addition, it would be good if you could tell me a bit about the actual opportunity – from industry, to geography, to level of position.

Thank you so much.

I know, polite eh?

And why – given I was so pissed off?

Well, because I wanted Thomas to respond so I could prove he hadn’t actually read my profile and was just ‘talent farming’ … by that I mean sending out copious amounts of emails to all and sundry to see who bit so they could tell their client about their extensive search and charge their fee.

And did I get a reply?

Not exactly. A few hours later I got an email saying my response had not been sent as the email it was sent to didn’t work.

I should have known given so many of these type of emails are sent out with the sole goal of ensuring they don’t have to deal with any direct contact … however I was still pissed at the lazy and impersonal approach, so I went back to the original email to see if there was any way to contact them.

Having looked again, I realized there wasn’t any except that link to ‘book a call’.

At this point I’d decided to write a blog post about Thomas and how horrid and presumptive his approach was – so in a bid to try and find out more info on how to reach him for the content of the post, I clicked on the link and …

Well, at this point I should be showing you an image of what I found, but I forgot to take a photo, so instead … maybe this will give you a good idea of what I discovered:

Yep, I was caught in a phishing scam. Except they weren’t trying to steal my data, they were ‘teaching me’ that I needed to be more careful before I click on links sent on email because this ‘scam’ was from our own IT department.

Now I appreciate I work for an Omnicom company. And I appreciate security is rightfully very important to them and they understandably want all their people to take security seriously too. And I acknowledge I’d just demonstrated that I need to be extra vigilant because these things can – and do – happen all the time, even though it was the first time I’d fallen for something like this in my 5 years with the company. Which I will. And finally, I also acknowledge that on closer inspection, the email was riddled with little tell-tell spelling mistakes that I should have noticed … though the reality is not only did I miss them, I only saw them when I replicated the email above for legibility and corrected them for ease of reading this post.

However – and maybe it’s just me – the way they approached this ‘lesson’ feels a bit yucky.

Not because I was caught out – it was definitely an effective way to remind people to keep on their toes where company internet security is concerned – but because their approach could be read by some as a way to scare people into fearing – or staying clear – of any genuine recruitment enquiry they receive from any outside party.

Now you might think who cares, it was effective. And that’s fair.

Or you may think that couldn’t happen … but imagine you’re new to the business and have never experienced dealing with a recruiter before? Add to that the endless rounds of redundancies they’re hearing about – and most probably fearing – and let me tell you, I can absolutely see this sort of thing potentially putting someone off who is young in the industry from responding or replying for a long time.

As I said, I get why they do this sort of thing and I hold my hands up in acknowledging I was caught out by it – albeit for reasons they probably hadn’t anticipated which is namely some bloke with a blog suddenly wanted name and shame the sender for their lazy and sloppy professionalism. And it’s because of that I would like to take this opportunity to genuinely congratulate the Omnicom IT department for their devious and – all credit to them – creative way to teach an important and valuable lesson.

[As an aside, I wonder if they send similar sorts of things to different CEO’s of different Omnicom companies? Except instead of Thomas being a fictional recruiter with ambiguous job openings, he’s now a potential client with a billion dollar advertising budget he wants to talk to them about, via a ‘book a call’ link]

But for any younger person who has never been in the position of being approached by a headhunter and was caught out by this exercise – and looking at Reddit and Fishbowl, there were – let me ease your paranoia by saying should you ever end up wanting or needing to explore new opportunities and don’t know where to start, who to turn to or what to do, seek out Lea Walker or Lesley Cheng, who are both based in Australia but work internationally.

Not just because they’re brilliant humans who happen to be incredible, smart and deeply knowledgeable experts in talent, careers and roles … but because they will never send you an email that could be an Omnicom IT phishing test in disguise.

I will now never be responding to any email, let alone make the stupid mistake of clicking a link … even if its in the quest to write a scathing blog post.

Consider myself properly ‘chastised’.

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Who Do You Think You Are …

I have good news for you …

This is the last post for a week. Yep, a week!

You see I’m off to my beloved China for the week so you can rest in peace while I fill myself up on Din Tai Fung, haha.

What a way to end the week eh?

By pure coincidence, this post is about Taiwan – specifically mocking their tourism campaign – which I assure you has nothing to do with me going to China and hoping to have my visa renewed. After all, that’s where Din Tai Fung comes from and there’s no way I’d ever do anything that could harm my ability to keep scoffing down their dumplings.

So over the years, I’ve written a lot about tourism campaigns. Like here. Or here. Or here.

The upshot being that apart from the original 100% Pure NZ campaign – and Mauritius clever idea to bring more foreign income into the country – most are more likely to keep you away than to pull you towards them.

In fact, the only positive of these campaigns is they demonstrate the danger of committee thinking … where the end result is an act of political appeasement than audience understanding.

It’s why I find it hilarious how we keep banging on about all the data we have and yet we still end up scoring own goals.

Why?

It is because we have the wrong data?
Is it because we have people that can’t read the data.
Or is it because people hide behind the data to outsource their responsibilities and decisions?

Well, given this tourism campaign from Taiwan, it may be all 3.

Have a look at this …

What the hell?!!!

My god … Taiwan is a beautiful land full of rich history, heritage and cultural texture and they think this will make people come?!

Who the hell has their ‘data’ told them is the future of their tourism audience … urban architects and local council town planners?

Seriously, what is this supposed to convey … that they have shopping centers?

And they have the audacity to then say ‘Enjoy Now’.

For fucks sake, Taiwan is where the incredible – and my absolute favorite – Din Tai Fung started … that alone could attract more people than this campaign. But no, instead they decided the best way to invite millions to visit is to use the most generic photo ever taken … a photo that could be for literally any place in the whole, wide World … and then shove the words ‘Waves of Wonder’ on it.

What the hell is a ‘wave of wonder’ … because unless it’s a clever ruse to make people wonder out-loud why they should give-a-flying-fuck about a photo of a generic shopping centre, then this work is nothing more than tourism terrorism.

Years ago, I was staying in the W Hotel in Taipei when an earthquake woke me up in the middle of the night.

It was pretty strong and the whole building shook for ages.

And even that is a better tourism campaign than this horror show.

Taiwan is a wonderful place. You should go visit. But don’t go anywhere their tourism department recommends.

See you in a week!

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Why The Worst Thing That Can Happen To Any Company Is When It’s Led By People Who Value Everything Except What You Do …

A few weeks ago, I found myself in Melbourne, Australia.

I had some time free so I went to the National Gallery where I saw seeing their excellent Westwood/Kawakubo fashion exhibition.

While walking around, it struck me how fashion designers talk about their point of view on society [and how they use their creativity to shape/change it] whereas modern advertising increasingly only talks about their systems and ‘proprietary’ models that drive efficiency and cost savings.

With that in mind, it’s both amusing and sad that for all the business rhetoric we spout on our stages, news pages, and LinkedIn feeds, fashion continues to have greater cultural influence, resonance, and economic impact.

And why is that?

Well, there are many reasons for it, but as someone VERY successful in fashion recently told me: “the top end of their industry is still led by people who love fashion, whereas too much of ours is run by people who crave the love of business”.

Of course, it wasn’t always this way. Go back a little and most of our advertising leaders spoke like fashion designers. And while business will always be essential to our survival – and thank god for that and them – perhaps we’d be better served championing the power of what we create, rather than only focus on the process of how we create it.

Or better yet, let the work speak for us. But not this work.

And if you think I’m being an asshole, spare a thought for all the marketing professionals who attended their MBA course at Imperial College London, when they found I was their guest lecturer. Hahaha.

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If Every Solution Is Bespoke, Why Do You Present Them All In Exactly The Same Way?

There’s not many things I am anal about, but presentations are one of them.

The story.
The design.
The details.
The feeling.
The editing.
The clarity.
The craft.
The point of view.

Ask anyone who has worked with me and it’s fair to say, they’re going to say I’m a fucking nightmare about it.

Part of it is because I believe it’s a sign of respect towards whoever we’re presenting too.
Part of it is because I believe it’s a sign of respect to the work you’ve developed and crafted.
And part of it is because I believe it’s a demonstration of the standards you hold, value and expect from whoever you work with.

I appreciate it’s not the most ‘efficient’ approach, but there are moments in a process, where ‘efficiency’ should never be the objective, because it either encourages – or invites – lazy thinking and/or lazy application.

This does not mean I don’t care about brand guidelines or toolboxes, I do … however far too often, they’re developed with the sole goal of enabling the ‘lowest form of consistency’ throughout an organization, as opposed to delivering the highest. Of course, this approach is not limited to simply brand guideline development … the same can be said for things like ‘brand experience’ and ‘brand transformation’ … where the language implies ‘executing excellence’ but the reality is often just playing ‘catch up’ to competitors who have been doing the basics better for years.

Look, on one level I get it … especially in big companies, where it’s bloody hard to make everything work seamlessly to a unified level … however if a companies ambition is to identify the ‘minimum standard they can get away with’, then surely that raises questions regarding the standards of the organisation, the people they hire and the aspirations – not to mention, taste – of the company leadership.

Now you may be thinking, “that’s a big call based on how a company creates presentations”, but for me this stuff matters and I’m over people saying it doesn’t.

That’s its ‘overkill’. Fuck off …

Put simply, ‘good in, encourages good out’. It really is that simple … and if you can’t be bothered to do that for a client, why do you think they would want to do good things with you?

And please don’t give me ‘but the content is all that matters’ argument.

Maybe in a Hollywood movie that works … but in real life, how you present is as important as what you present.

Not because ‘pretty wins’, but because design helps convey an argument in a way that can be more powerful felt.

And understood.

And remembered.

Now I completely appreciate not every presentation requires this level of craft and consideration, however at the very least they should all feel people have given a shit about its development. That they’ve sweated over the details. That they want the recipient to feel seen, challenged, understood and helped.

But that’s not happening nearly enough these days.

A creative director at Wieden – the wonderful Paul Stechschulte – once gave me a brilliant piece of advice about presentations.

He said, there’s only two reasons to ever have one: To convert or to conflict.

You’re either there to convert an idea/decision into action, or you’re there to conflict the recipient so they don’t choose or make the wrong idea/decision.

That’s it.

But too often, the goal of a presentation is to have another presentation. To kick the can further down the road. To give permission for people to not make a decision while looking like they’re being productive.

Look, I get some things take time but a lot of this is because too many companies only empower their people to say ‘no’, so the result is nothing gets made and so the focus of the endless presentations ends up being whether the ‘minimum standard guidelines’ have been adhered to, as opposed to can we create a compelling argument that demands they say ‘yes’.

Which leads to the point of this post …

TL;DR Why I will never work for Morgan Stanley. And why I’ve never been so happy about it.

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