Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Anniversary, Attitude & Aptitude, Childhood, Comment, Dad, Daddyhood, Death, Emotion, England, Family, Happiness, Home, Jill, Love, Loyalty, Mum, Mum & Dad, Otis, Parents, Paul, Respect, Shelly
Hello there.
I hope you all had a wonderful festive season.
I hope 2022 rewards us with all the opportunities and possibilities that the past 2 years took away.
I hope we can see our friends.
See our families.
Be healthy.
Be happy.
Live with hope and optimism.
Now I said this blog wasn’t going to be back until Jan 31st … and it isn’t.
And frankly, after the December I had – which included the death of a dear friend, an unexpected hospital visit for me and an emergency operation for Otis [who is fully recovered, thank god] – I need all the time I can get to recuperate.
However on Sunday, it is 23 years since my Dad died.
In just 6 years time, he will be gone as long as he was in my life.
And in 9 years time, I will be the age he was when he died.
They will be two very significant moments in my life and – if I’m being honest – I’m nervous of one and scared of the other.
Nervous because it just seems impossible he will have been out of my life more than he was in it.
Of course he is still in my life, but you know what I mean.
Scared because the reality of death comes ever nearer.
Now I know no one knows when someone is going to die – but the idea that it could be when I’m 60 – like he was – is an irrational thought that just sits there. Coming out when I least expect it.
And when it’s quiet, another ridiculous idea enters my mind.
Because Mum died at 83 and Dad died at 60 … I can also convince myself I’ll die between those 2 ages.
So 72.
Now I get 72 is quite a way a way, but it feels a fuckload closer when you’re 51 and your son is only 7.
But all this could be the melancholy of this being Dad’s anniversary, because the reality is I’m happier in my life than I’ve been for a long time.
Not that I was unhappy, but there were moments … but right now, I am in a truly good place and my parents would be so happy to know that.
Which is why I want this post to be about something that would make Dad smile.
A few weeks ago, Jill and I were talking about books that made us laugh to the point of pain.
While we both had a few, her major one was Catch 22 and mine was the first Adrian Mole book – The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole aged 13 ¾.
Adrian Mole’s ‘diary’ came out in 1982 but I got it in the summer of 1983 … which means I read it at the same age as Adrian was.
I loved it. It was hilarious, poignant, tragic and uplifting.
It covered so many issues so many kids were going through.
Family. Friendship, Girls. Sex. Arguments. Parent and Grandparent arguments.
It was, in some ways, the diary of every kids aged 13.
I loved it and still love it when I revisit it every 5 years or so.
But the reason I’m telling you this is because of when my Dad read it.
I think Mum had told him how much I enjoyed it so he decided to check it out.
Anyway, one morning I came downstairs and Mum asked me to ask Dad about what happened in the night.
She said it with a smile, so I knew it wasn’t bad.
I went in the lounge and he was there in his favourite rocking chair.
“Mum told me to ask you what happened last night”
As soon as I said it, he looked at me. His face lit up, a big smile came on his face that allowed his gorgeous dimples to come into the spotlight.
“Oh Robert …” he said, “I was reading your book last night and the bit about the Christmas turkey not being defrosted made me howl with laughter.”
“It was 2am and I had to come downstairs to try and calm down”.
“The bit where they’re trying to thaw the turkey under the hot tap in the bath …” to which he he burst out laughing again with tears in his eyes.
Of course, seeing my Dad like this made me laugh too and then I heard Mum laughing from the kitchen at the state of both of us.
While I never really understood why that bit tickled him so much, I have an idea.
Whether it was the time Mum invited a really miserable elderly couple to our Christmas dinner but only announced it a few days before Christmas and we already had a house full booked … to Dad’s terrible first ever experience with a microwave that literally carbonised sausages … to drunk family members causing scenes … to buying a turkey so big it didn’t even fit in our over … to a not-very-funny-but-very-funny episode with a glass of water when his Mum came to visit.
Who knows. Maybe it was some of that, maybe it was none of it.
But regardless of the reason, I will always remember how that paragraph revealed the child in my Dad and that is why I will always love that book.
It might also explain why I love the Plenty Christmas ad from a couple of years ago. Because watching it again, it’s basically that scene made as a commercial.
I miss my Dad.
I miss him so much.
I would give anything to be able to talk to him and discuss what I’ve done in the last 23 years.
Introduce him to his daughter in law and grandson.
Tell him that Paul and I are still inseparable and mischievous.
Show him all the places I’ve visited and lived and then tell him about all the things I’ve done and still want to do and try.
Watch him try to take it all in and then hear all his questions.
But as I can’t, I’ll honour him by sharing the paragraph that made him roar [which is at the very bottom of this post] and say this:
Dad. I love you.
I think about you all the time.
I am almost overwhelmed with the things I want to say and share.
I hope you’d like [most] of the decisions I’ve made. I know a few would raise eyebrows, but hopefully not too many.
All I’ve ever wanted to do is make you and Mum proud.
I hope I’m doing that overall.
A kiss to you and Mum.
And a lifetime of my love.
To the rest of you, give your loved ones a hug and see you on the 31st.
_________________________________________________________________
The Secret Life Of Adrian Mole Aged 13 ¾ by Sue Townsend
Friday December 25th (1981)
I went up to the bathroom and found my mother crying and running the turkey under the hot tap.
She said, “The bloody thing won’t thaw out, Adrian. What am I going to do?”
I said, “Just bung it in the oven.” So she did.
‘We went down to eat Christmas dinner four hours late. By then my father was too drunk to eat anything.’
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Brand, China, Colenso, Comment, Confidence, Creativity, Culture, Effectiveness, Emotion, Empathy, End of Year, Fulfillment, Goodbye England, Imagination, Jill, London, Management, Marketing, Martin Weigel, Mum, Mum & Dad, My Fatherhood, New Zealand, Otis, Paul, Paula, Resonance, Respect, Rick Rubin, RulesOfRubin, Shelly
So this is it, year 15 of this blog is officially over.
YEAR 15!!!
Christ, this might be the most I’ve ever been committed to anything. What a shame this blog is basically worth nothing, hahahaha.
But we’re here.
A year that the World hoped would represent huge, positive change after the hell of 2020 … but ended up being more of the same.
For us, of course, this was a year with a huge difference – namely we now live in New Zealand.
Moving countries can be a pain in the arse at the best of times, but doing it in a pandemic adds a whole lot of stress that no one needs. However, despite that … despite saying goodbye [or should I say, au revoir] to the beautiful house we had just bought … despite not being able to physically see my beloved Paul and Shelly before we went … despite the hassle, broken furniture and time to get settled in … it’s been amazing.
There’s many reasons to that.
From the 2 week quarantine we had to do, which let us – and Rosie, the cat – get acclimatised to the obscene time difference to the kindness and generosity of the people here. To the fact we had bought our beautiful home – and cars – before we arrived, which made things so much easier. To the covid vaccinations we received. To the community we have found ourselves in. To the outdoor life – excluding the insane rain and 4 month lockdown – we have been able to enjoy.
So much.
But it would be wrong for me to not mention the role Colenso and, specifically my team, have had in it.
Everyone of these talented souls has been wonderful.
Not just to me, but Jill and Otis as well.
Plus there’s the fact my team have [generally] put up with my ‘ways’ … and we all know how painful that can be. I’ve always been incredibly fortunate with the teams I’ve been a part of and this lot are no different.
Sure, they’re mouthy bastards with no end of opinions, ideas and considerations but that’s – as you probably could guess – is exactly why I love them.
We’ve only been together 7 months but I’ve seen enough to be excited about what damage we can do in 2022 – reinforced by the fact we finished this year being named Agency Of The Year by the Effies organisation for a whole host of work that solved problems in interesting ways.
So to Lizzie, Henry, Teresa, Emma, Gi, Augustine, Amy and Liam … thank you for everything.
You’ve given me laughs, headaches, pride, lessons and things to ponder … and I couldn’t be more grateful for all of it.
[And extra best wishes to Lizzie who gets married during the holidays. Made extra perfect because she had to postpone it due to Covid and this way she gets to make the holiday season even more wonderful for all her family]
But while NZ has been the major change in my year, there have been some other notable moments.
In some respects, it was a year of music.
From my Rick Rubin project to getting fired by the Red Hot Chili Peppers to the best passive aggressive endorsement ever seen in the history of mankind.
Given I’ll be working for The Black Keys, Muse and – weirdly – Journey in 2022, I can only hope the musical rollercoaster will keep me on my toes as much.
Talking of celebrity …
I met Noel Edmunds at a business ‘do’ in Auckland – which surprised him as much as it did me – and I got to hug Jacinda Ardern, albeit committing social faux pas when I interrupted her during a dinner she was having to say hello.
That I’m still allowed in the country is testimony to New Zealand’s humanity.
Then there was the Tokyo Olympics …
An event a year late from its original plan … met with global apathy, especially in their home country … only to win us all over and turn us back into fans.
Seeing young kids win medals in skateboarding will stay with me for a very long time.
In fact, having skateboarding in the Olympics may have just done more to get kids wanting to do sport again than any number of NIKE ad campaigns.
That’s how good it was.
Best ad of the year goes to the amazing MacMillan cancer ad.
I must have watched it a couple of hundred times now – hell, I’ve even built a presentation around it that I give clients – and I still cry when I see it.
Not because of sadness – though there’s plenty in it – but because of the human emotion it triggers.
As I wrote at the time, it has this incredible ability to take me back to the times I lost my parents but make me feel closer to them. Extraordinary.
I could go on …
I could talk about certain posts I wrote in the year, like Toxic Positivity, but let’s face it … you can’t be bothered to read it and I can’t be bothered to write about it.
So I want to say some thanks …
To everyone who reads, writes and insults me on this blog … I am eternally grateful – and surprised – you come here. Many of you have been coming here for almost as long as I’ve been writing it and I have to say I find comfort in knowing that whatever I’m facing in life, I can come here and all of it just fades away. So for that, thank you … I really appreciate it.
I also want to say thank you to everyone who has reached out to check on how we’re doing. You didn’t have to, but you did and that means a ton.
Extra special thanks go to Paul, Shelly, Martin, Paula, Amelia, Martin B, Meg, Rach, Mike, Sam, Mr Ji, Peter and Cliff … who all made me feel like you were just around the corner, even though you were thousands of miles away.
And finally, a special thanks to Jill, Otis and Rosie.
None of this would be possible without you and I wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else.
You make me a happier, better person than I believed was possible … and while you may rightfully think I can be a total pain-in-the-ass, I can just tell you I’d be even worsr without you.
So thank you.
For everything,
I can never fully tell you how much I love you and am grateful for you.
The way you handle all this change is extraordinary …
Nothing sums this up more than something Otis chose to do recently.
As you all know, Otis has beautiful, gorgeous, stunning long hair …
Well a few weeks ago, he suddenly announced he wanted to cut it off so it could be donated to kids with cancer.
We asked if he was sure as it was a big thing and he said, “he wants to and is determined to”.
Then he added he will continue to do this until he’s 18.
Grow his hair.
Donate his hair.
Grow his hair.
Donate his hair.
So that evening, his Mum got scissors and a hair razor out and starting cutting 35 CENTIMETERS OF HAIR.
THIRTY FIVE!
Throughout the cutting he kept saying how excited he was.
How it was changing his life.
How much ‘lighter’ his head felt.
And afterwards, the little champ looked like this …
A new sort of rock n’ roll.
I thought it was impossible to love him anymore. I was wrong.
To have the capacity to be so compassionate and considerate at 7 years of age is incredible.
Even more so when he has had so much change in his life.
Four countries in 6 years.
New homes, new schools, new friends.
Almost 18 months of lockdown.
And yet he still has it in him to think of others.
Definitely his Mum’s son.
But proudly mine too.
Hell, he even offered me a chance to remember what it was like to have hair …
… though it could also have been to take the piss out of me.
So to Otis … Jill … Rosie … everyone I know and people I don’t but somehow have still come into my life this year, I wish you a wonderful festive season.
I really, really hope 2022 is much better for everyone than the previous 2 years.
I hope we have a year where everyone can have hope for the future.
I don’t know if it’s possible with the machismo bullshit of politicians, but let’s hope so.
Thank you again for everything, have a great time … just not better than me. Please.
See you on January 31st.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, China, Colenso, Comment, Corporate Evil, Creativity, Culture, Distinction, Emotion, Empathy, Management, Nike, Otis, Perspective, Relevance, Resonance, Wieden+Kennedy
Lot’s of companies talk about doing good.
Sadly, of those who do, many have both eyes fixed on what’s in it for them.
A headline.
An award.
A chance to win favour with someone they want to connect with.
An opportunity to distract attention from all the bad stuff they’re doing.
Now there are some companies who mean it.
Who have a set of values that truly is reflected in a set of behaviours.
However, in my experience, I’ve found it’s often more to do with the character of an individual within the organisation rather than the organisation.
Not always, but often.
What I’ve found is the best way to identify the real motivation behind an act of generosity is to see how inconvenient it is for them to execute.
The more inconvenient, the more they care.
I’ve seen some amazing examples of people going out of their way …
There was the time Simon Pestridge – when he was CMO at NIKE – got me a signed Wayne Rooney, Manchester United shirt so I could give it to a random taxi driver I’d met in Atlanta. Or the time San – also from Nike – humoured me by getting me green M&M’s [my attempt at reliving the Van Halen ‘brown M&M trick‘] when they asked me to pull a global preso together at the last second.
That’s proof of people who give a shit about others.
But I’ve seen the other side.
The food brand who ‘donated’ $100 to a group collecting food for victims of an earthquake.
Or the travel company who gave schools a 3% discount for train tickets so city kids could see a beach.
Or the international conglomerate who talk about purpose and their desire to help humanity but continue to profit from cultural exploitation and acts of prejudice.
But where you would normally expect me to leave the post there – with a bad taste in your mouth – I’m not going to.
I know, who the fuck am I?
You see a while back I got asked by Coca-Cola if I’d give a presentation to their Asia-Pac marketing team.
I decided a while back, that I’m going to start ‘exploiting’ my so-called position by trying to do things that can positively change things for more people.
So I told them I’d do it if they agreed to hire a young woman [full-time or a long-term paid internship] who hadn’t gone to university and came from a more humble background.
Then – proving I’m still a selfish, blagging bastard – I said I’d also like some Coke Zero for me.
Amazingly … brilliantly … awesomely they agreed and were nothing but kind and open about making it happen – which also helps explain the photo at the top of this page showing Otis with an outdoor furniture set made of Coke Zero supplies.
They didn’t have to do it.
They could have just asked someone else to do the talk.
But they did … and while there are many things people could throw stones at them for, this was more than many and more valuable than most.
Which leaves me with this …
If you’re asked to do a presentation or a talk or even a panel for someone, maybe you could consider doing a similar thing to me.
Let’s face it, if they would do it for me, they’ll DEFINITELY do it for you.
And if they say no, then you’ll know exactly what you’re dealing with.
But maybe they’ll say yes.
Maybe it won’t be an internship, but it could be something else.
A partnership with a school.
An introduction to one of their partner companies.
Some mentorship.
A donation.
And while it might not change millions of lives, it could change one.
And that is most definitely better than none.
Just a thought.
Thank you Coca-Cola..
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Anniversary, Attitude & Aptitude, Colenso, Comment, Death, New Zealand, Otis
I can’t believe we have hit December.
DECEMBER!
More than that, I can’t believe we’ve hit December and I’m still in lockdown … albeit in a totally different country to the one I was in last year.
Madness.
Given the last 365 days have basically been Groundhog Day, I’m amazed how quick this year has gone.
You’d expect it to have felt slow … but far from it.
For us, it’s been a huge year filled with huge changes – and I’ll be writing a huge post all about it in the next few weeks [don’t roll your eyes, ha] – but before that, we have Otis’ 7th birthday to celebrate and we need to find a way where he can feel the love and attention of his friends and family, as this will be the second year he’ll be experiencing it on his own.
I remember when birthdays were such a big thing.
A sign of growth … independence … power.
Of course, when you’re my age, you tend to look at them as indicators of getting old, irrelevance and impending death [hahahaha!] which leads me to something I read recently from Tom Goodwin.
It was this:
I have to say, it stopped me in my tracks.
Yes, it’s obvious, but when you see it written like that, you tend to re-evaluate what you’ve done and what you still want to do.
I am increasingly becoming aware of my mortality.
I’ve written about it before … but while I am not in a depth of depression, there is a part of me that acknowledges I am approaching the final 1/3rd of my race, despite having the hunger, energy and ambition to go a lot further.
It’s quite unnerving.
You look at everything with fresh eyes.
You ask yourself if you’ve done enough or are doing enough.
I don’t mean in terms of career – though there is a bit of that – I mean in life in general.
I look back on what I’ve done – and I acknowledge, I’ve done a bunch – and sometimes wonder if it was all a dream.
So much of it seems like it belongs to another person’s life.
Or another version of mine.
China. America. Singapore. Australia. Japan. Hong Kong. London.
So many places over such a long period of time.
Each one filled with experiences, stories and memories that defined who I am.
You’d be amazed how often I have to remind myself these happened to me. Seriously.,
The life I’ve lived is beyond anything I could ever have wished for … and while I appreciate my privilege, seeing that quote from Tom made me think about what I’m going to do with what I have left. What I want to do with what I have left.
On one hand I don’t want to sit back … I want to chase after the things that intrigue me with even greater speed and determination. But on the other, I want to make sure I am making time to enjoy and embrace all that’s going on. I don’t know if I’ve been as good at that second bit as I should have.
The problem is, the more you do, the more things you discover you want to do and – as has been the case with me – you find yourself on a track, travelling 100mph without having the ability to really enjoy the journey and the experiences you’ve had because you’ve seen something else you want to investigate.
I guess I’m living proof it’s not just millennials with short attention spans, ha.
That said, I’ve got a lot of expectations for 2022.
I did for 2021, but apart from NZ, that did not work out that way at all.
But now – with vaccinations and a world opening up – there’s a chance things could really change. A chance to embrace and explore what the world has to offer.
And I must admit I can’t wait.
Having been on only one plane in the last 18 months – to get us to NZ – has been very strange. I love travelling and exploring and have spent the last 25 years doing a ton of it. Hell, I did 100 flights in 2019 alone.
So as we enter the last month of 2021, I can look at next year with a different sense of optimism than I’ve had in a long time. A year where I want to learn how to balance ambition with enjoyment … because nothing makes you value the possibilities of the future like the acknowledgement you don’t have as much of it left as you probably would like.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Agency Culture, Anniversary, Attitude & Aptitude, China, Colenso, Comment, Creativity, Culture, Effectiveness, Environment, Family, Jill, Love, New Zealand, Otis, Rosie
A year ago today, Jill, Otis, Rosie and I left our beautiful family home – that we only had bought and moved into 6 months earlier – to get on a plane for the first time in over a year and fly to the other side of the planet to start a new life in New Zealand.
Now of course, because Kiwiland is so fucking far away from everywhere, it took us 2 days to get here which means we’ve not officially been here a year … but if you will excuse the early anniversary, it still something I wish to celebrate.
Despite having moved countries more times than anyone should be allowed to … the build up to this move was the most stressful we’d ever had.
Of course, the reason for that was bloody COVID … but with changing rules, changing flights and changing timelines, it felt like an impossible dream when we boarded the plane 12 months ago today.
Then there was the 2 weeks of quarantine we had in Hamilton.
While it was restrictive, it was actually an amazing way to settle in a country because whether we liked it or not, we were not allowed to do anything.
Normally when we land in a country, it’s mayhem trying to learn the areas, find a house, buy a car. But this time it was easy, mainly because – in a moment of madness – we had bought a house and a car when we were in England.
While that might sound mad, the car was easy because it was simply the latest version of the car I bought in the UK. Which was the same as I bought in the US. Even down to the colour.
As for the house … OK, that was bonkers, but sadly for our bank manager, that wasn’t the first time we’d done it.
But it all worked out.
Not just in terms of house and car, but life.
We’re settled.
Otis loves his school.
Jill loves we live in the trees.
Rosie loves she can watch birds all day.
I love the talented mob I get to work with each day.
Colenso has done some lovely stuff – but it’s only the start – but we’ve won some global business, awards and a bunch of friends [not to mention the odd bitter enemy] but even more importantly, is that I’ve lucked in with the people I get to work with each day.
What a top bunch they are … with a special mention for my wonderful team who are a bunch of beautifully opinionated, creative and interesting assholes.
Just as I like them. [Most of the time, hahaha]
In fact the only thing that has been horrible has been the timezone … which means when I’m doing my Metallica duty or Gentle Monster duty, it ends up being so early or late I could cry.
Actually, for the first few weeks I probably did in shock … but now it’s second nature and they’ve all been ace. Hell, even the 4+ months of lockdown didn’t dampen our spirit.
Sure, we had travelled half way around the World to end up back where we started … but COVID here was very different to COVID in the UK.
Here there was a plan with clarity and communication.
And while people here say there’s a bunch of stuff the government could have done better – which, in some cases, is fair – compared to what we experienced in the UK, it’s all A+.
While we know we won’t be in NZ forever, we do love it here.
We are so appreciative of the chance we have been given … even more so when so many Kiwi’s have found it so hard to come back. NZ has been generous, supportive, open and encouraging. Hell, not only did they let me meet Noel Edmonds, James Cameron and brilliant Jacinda, they even looked after us when we all individually found ourselves having to go into hospital. In terms of ensuring you can deal with the sadness of not seeing friends and loved ones, NZ did it with absolute bloody panache.
I hope in our time here, we are seen as contributing to the nation. We want to do that so much. Celebrate it. Honour it. And – where possible – help it. Not just so we can learn and know more about this special place, but so we can say thank you for letting us be here.
Happy [almost] anniversary NZ.
You might wish it hadn’t happened, but we’re glad it did.