Filed under: Anniversary, Birthday, Bonnie, Childhood, Dad, Daddyhood, Family, Fatherhood, Jill, Love, Mum, Mum & Dad, My Childhood, Otis, Relationships, Respect, Rosie, Sky, Travel
Today is a complicated day for me.
Because on the positive it would be my brilliant Dad’s 87th birthday … but on the negative, it reminds me that he has been gone 27 years.
Or said another way … almost half my life.
HALF!
That seems both impossible and insane.
Of course, because I think about him so much, he has never truly ‘left me’, but I also begrudge the fact I’ve not been able to share so many of the experiences I’ve had in the intervening 27 years that I’d have loved to have shared with him to see, hear and learn his response and reaction to.
I never got to introduce him to my wife, my son, my cat, my dog and Otis’ bird – Sky.
I never got to talk to him about Singapore, Hong Kong, China, Japan, America, New Zealand.
I never got to seek his advice on dealing with challenges, loss, possibilities and tough choices.
I never got to watch his face as I told him about my career, clients, colleagues and work.
I never got to hear his laugh as I helped him enjoy the experiences, he always wanted to try but never had the chance to do.
But most of all, I never got to keep telling him how grateful I am for the person he is and the person he helped me become.
The irony – as I’ve written before – is that so many of those things I’ve not been able to share with him happened because I am driven by a desire to make him and Mum proud. To repay the love and faith they always showed towards me … whether that was when I was failing exams or when they told me I should still travel despite the fact Dad had experienced a terrible stroke.
So to my wonderful Dad ….
You may not be here but know you’re with me every day … which I know you’d be very happy about, even if I also know you’d also be telling me ‘that I have to get on with my life rather than be held back by yours’, hahaha.
So, with that let me end this post by reassuring you that you – and Mum – never held me back. In fact, you’re two of the biggest reasons why I’ve been able to – and want to – keep moving forward, because in many ways, it’s not just how I repay my gratitude for all you did [and continue to do] for me, it’s how I can say – and show – how much I love you.
And I do. A shit-ton.
So happy birthday Dad.
I send you – and Mum – a big kiss and hug.
I hope you’re holding hands and smiling at the life your son is living more than frowning,
On the bright side, while I still seem very capable of causing all manner of trouble, at least the stuff I get up to these days has a lot less ‘police involvement’ than my earlier years, which has to be a positive doesn’t it? Haha.
Miss you.
Rx
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Apathy, Attitude & Aptitude, Colleagues, Comment, Communication Strategy, Corporate Evil, Corporate Gaslighting, Culture, Management
Just a reminder that anyone who delivers feedback that’s purposefully designed to push you down while actively lifting themselves up, is an asshole.
No ifs. Just butts – so to speak.
Just to be clear, that doesn’t mean people can’t take feedback.
That doesn’t mean people can’t take tough feedback.
That doesn’t mean they’re being ‘woke’.
If anything, it’s how you ensure your feedback is understood rather than just heard.
I say this because far too many people use feedback like a sword and seemingly feel happy about it … which not only means they’re a prick, but that they have deliberately chosen to ignore the recipients feelings as well as where they may be complicit in what’s happened.
Which is why if anyone needs a reminder on why remembering this approach is not good – which is terrifying in itself, but so be it – check out the stories on Corporate Gaslighting.
And don’t think I’m not looking at HR departments for their role in allowing this to happen.
If I need to remind you, your job is to protect the people, not the C-Suite.
Thank god for the good ones out there … the ones who make is a worthy profession rather than the scapegoat department.
Happy Monday, hahaha.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Creative Brief, Creative Development, Creativity, Effectiveness, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Planning, Relevance, Resonance, Respect, Systems
Choices. Choices. Choices.
We’re surrounded by them.
Alternatives, options, added features … the choices are so endless that making any choice has become endless.
It’s why I spend so much time working out what the real problem is. Finding out what the real thing that that needs addressing … changing … challenging or owning.
Not just because that’s how the job is supposed to be done …
Not just because that’s how you make creativity, effective …
But because the more options we have, the more likely we are to see ‘Frankenstein-ing’ – where people want to take a little bit of one thing and shove it onto another, regardless of them being different ideas and by doing this, you literally dilute the potency of both ideas.
It’s the curse of people being blind, blinkered and seduced by features not focus.
Of abundance not sacrifice.
And that’s why I’m of the belief that the best way to make something great happen is not spend time creating endless options but instead, put all your energy into doing one thing fucking right and well. Or said another way, kick the shit out of needing ‘option B’.
Filed under: Chaos, Colleagues, Cynic, Death, Life, Love, Loyalty, Respect
Earlier this week, I – along with the rest of the cynic mob – received some terribly sad news.
Billy … known as Billy Whizz, and an old cynic colleague and prolific insulter in the early days of this blog … passed away.
He was 45.
He was a brilliant, talented, infectious maniac.
Writer.
Partier.
Trouble maker.
Mischief conductor.
Failed philanderer.
He was the storm that whipped up the best trouble.
And as much as he would do his best to hide his smarts behind his dumbass chic, he never could quite contain it.
Of course not, it was brigher than the sun.
Now 45 is far too young an age but to be fair to him, he used to tell us all he was shocked he was still here when he was 21.
Part of that was because he was always lived like he was driving at 100mph.
Along a narrow road.
On a sheer cliff
At night.
With the lights off.
In the rain.
And while he knew he was being dangeorous – always on the cusp of having a crash – it was also where he was his happiest, the beautiful idiot.
In many ways he was the glue that made the chaos of cynic produce infectious harmony … and while the photo above is not the typical ‘in memory’ pic, I know if anyone would approve of it, it would be Billy.
Taken at the cynic Christmas party in 2003 … it will be forever be known for being the precursor to what we called the infamous ‘vomit bucket’ incident.
He was so proud of causing that, which sums up every part of his manic, foolish brilliance.
I hoped I could be at his funeral in Rome this Saturday, but sadly my eye has put paid to that. I am devastated I will not be able to pay my final respects and say my last goodbyes, but I’m so glad so many of the cynic mob will be there to do it for the rest of us.
Which is why I want to leave this post with this.
Hey Billy. You asshole. Why did you go and die?
Well you have so I need to tell you something.
Some of my best ‘terrible memories’ revolve around you and your wild ways.
I hope that makes you happy and proud. It should, because the best lives have the stupidest stories and you were the author of more than a few of mine.
They say “you only live once but if you do it right, once is all you need”. Well, you definitely did it right … which helps me come to terms with why you left so soon.
I’m so sorry and sad you’ve gone my friend. I’ll think of you in every storm.
Till we meet again … probably in the back alleys of hell.
Love you.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Business, Collegues, Comment, Complicity, Corporate Evil, Creativity, Culture, Experience, Fulfillment, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Perspective, Process, Professionalism, Reputation
A few weeks ago, my beloved Nottingham Forest imploded.
Despite having the best season we had experienced in decades, I woke up to the news that our manager, Nuno – the best and most successful one we’d had in decades, was potentially going to leave the club after just one game.
One.
A game that we had won and that I’d written about here.
Add to this that Nuno had very recently signed a new contract and the whole thing made no sense.
Until it did.
Because while details were still murky at the time, it appeared that a new, senior executive had joined the club and in a period of just 2 months, they had caused huge rifts with his decisions, stubbornness and ego.
Now I am not denying that the way our manager raised this issue – via an interview – had a lot of room for improvement, however the real issue was that a club bursting with optimism had burst in a matter of weeks because of one, senior, leader.
In many ways, this is not a story of football, but of modern corporate behaviour.
Let’s be honest, we’ve all seen it …
Where someone comes in and thinks they know how to do the job of everyone else better than everyone else – regardless of the fact they’ve never done those jobs or being as successful as those in the job.
And rather than start by listening, learning, discussing and collaborating … they immediately turn it into a ‘big swinging dick contest’ and before you know it, they’ve destroyed everything that made things special before they came.
People.
Culture.
Process.
Standards.
Everything.
But if that wasn’t bad enough, they then blame it on the people they went out of their way to undermine which they’ll then justify using words such as “efficiency”, “consistency”, “modernisation”, “uniformity”, business demands” and/or “unlocking the power of our collective strength”.
I should point out at this stage, this is not always the case.
But I should also point out, it is often the case … as demonstrated by the fact that despite the owner of Nottingham Forest publicly stating he supported Nuno and would be holding ‘clear the air talks’ shortly, he ended up ‘clearing Nuno’s desk’ and firing him.
So why does this keep happening – both in football and in companies?
Is it because companies like hiring psychopaths?
Is it because companies only care about the cash?
Is it because employees are idiots when not controlled?
While it would be tempting to say yes, we all know that’s not the case.
However there is a reason why I think happens more and more – and to that, I point to this brilliant piece by the original manager of Guns n’ Roses – Alan Niven.
Put simply, he highlights how too many companies hire senior leaders from other industries – believing their ‘business knowledge’ will help them achieve greater success. And while that sounds all well and good, they forget that while business may have some steadfast principals … every industry works very differently from one another and if you fail to realise how a specific industry truly operates – or you try to make it work how your previous industry operated – you find many end up tearing things down, rather than building them up.
Pretty much nails it.
And while he writes about the music industry, we don’t have to look too far to see this happening all around us.
Where people who have never made the work, decide and dictate how the work should be made.
Placing more importance on scale, conformity and cost-saving than creativity.
Believing the only thing that motivates is money, rather than acknowledging the importance of standards, craft and respect.
Of course every industry can improve.
Every industry has things they can tighten-up and evolve.
But if you’re not from the industry, you often see the bits you don’t understand as the bits that need to be addressed and then before you know it, you’re killing the very thing that drove and defined your value.
And everyone suffers … except the people who instigated all the change.
Because the way their remuneration is structured, even when they lose, they win.
Experience matters.
Not just in terms of the roles you’ve had, but how you gained them.
Because while outside perspectives are powerful and beneficial, when there’s more people with that context than there those who have the knowledge and understanding of how everything actually works … then you find that many of their strategies end up driving a companies demise rather than their future.
Or as my mentor Lee Hill said:
“The greatest lesson I’ve learned is that when it comes to industry practice, logic is personal rarely universal”.