Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Dad, Daddyhood, Emotion, Empathy, Family, Mum, Mum & Dad, Otis, Parents
So if this blog being back wasn’t bad enough for you.
I’m ending the first week of posts with something sad.
At least for me.
You see, tomorrow will be the 22nd anniversary of my Dad passing away.
Over the years, I’ve used this anniversary to write both good and sad memories about dad.
From his last days to reminiscing about some of my favourite ones.
Recalling moments burned in my heart and mind.
Some big, some so small … it could easily have got lost in a corner.
Except to me, they are everything.
Despite him being gone 22 years, I still feel an urge to make him – and Mum – proud.
I am pretty sure they would be anyway – despite the odd ‘episode’, which only Dad ever knew about – but it still is a driving force within me.
But here’s the thing, he – and Mum – never put any pressure on me regarding what job I should do. None at all.
Of course they wanted me to do well, but it was about my life, not theirs.
OK, so they would have loved me to follow in the families footsteps of law, but while I adored the idea, I just couldn’t stand the idea of ending one period of education and then heading straight into another.
Hell, even when I told them I didn’t want to go to university, they backed me.
Of course they wanted to know why.
They also wanted me to apply just in case I changed my mind.
But they never guilt-tripped me into doing something I wasn’t interested in.
That doesn’t mean they were passively interested in what I did.
Nor does it mean they were going to pay for my life while I worked it out. [We all knew there simply wasn’t the cash for that, even if they wanted to]
It’s just their focus was ensuring I never settled.
I don’t mean that in terms of being arrogant or picky.
I mean it in terms of them viewing contentment as a terrible waste of a life.
What they wanted for me more than anything was to feel fulfilled.
That whatever I did made me feel better because of it.
Not because of what it enabled me to do, but because of what it was, how I did it and how it made me feel.
I don’t know if I really appreciated how huge that was until much later.
To give me the time, space and backing to work things out on my own.
Of course they were there for questions, worries, challenges and failures … but they were steadfast in wanting this to be about what I wanted for my life, not what they wanted for it.
Because at the end of the day, all they really cared about was me being happy.
Of course they knew there would be bad days … challenging days … days where I would want to give everything up. But they trusted me – and the lessons they’d taught me in terms of how to deal with life – to be able to work it out and keep moving forward.
It’s possibly the most wonderful, generous gift anyone could give their child.
It’s behind most of the things I’ve done in my life … from where I’ve worked, where I’ve lived and what I’ve done.
It’s also – contrary to popular belief – why I work bloody hard.
Because apart from the fact I deeply enjoy what I do [most of the time], it’s my way of repaying the faith my parents showed in me.
Showing them it wasn’t wasted or lost on me.
I’ll forever be grateful to them for it.
And hopefully so will Otis.
So thank you Dad. I miss you. I wish you were here for us to chat about the adventures.
Give Mum a kiss for me while holding her hand.
Rx
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Culture, Death, Emotion, Empathy, Love, Loyalty, Metallica, Respect
Over the past 9 months, we’ve heard a lot from companies talking about loyalty.
Whether that’s loyalty to their staff, loyalty to their shareholders or loyalty to their values and commitments.
Sadly, in a lot of cases, this has been nothing more than a PR statement.
Something that looks good and makes the C-Suite feel good, without having to actually be good.
Of course there have been the exceptions, but in many cases, that’s all there is.
Now I am not naive.
I know in a commercial organisation, tough decisions need to be made every day … but the reality is, in many cases, it’s not that tough for them. Or it shouldn’t be given how often they do it. Though I do find it surprising how many companies are OK with letting people go but don’t like it when their employees let their employer go. Funny how they see that as an act of betrayal.
But that’s by-the-by, because this is about what real loyalty means and it revolves around Metallica.
So when the band started, there were 4 members.
James Hetfield
Lars Ulrich
Kirk Hammett
Cliff Burton
On September 27th, 1986, the band were in their coach travelling through a rural part of Sweden. They were there as part of their tour supporting their ‘Master of Puppets’ album.
It was a long and gruelling tour and sleep was in short reply. The band members had been complaining the sleeping arrangements on their bus were unsatisfactory so to decide who received the pick of the bunks, Hammett and Burton played cards.
Burton won and said to Hammett he wanted his bunk … leaving Kirk to sleep up front near the driver.
Around 7am, the bus flipped over onto the grass in Kronoberg County.
Cliff Burton was thrown through the window of the bus, which then fell on top of him, killing him instantly.
While there is debate on whether the accident was the result of black ice or the driver sleeping at the wheel, the reality is Burton – a much loved, highly talented musician – was dead.
So where’s the loyalty?
Well it’s true the band decided to continue rather than split up – like some other bands who had suffered the loss of a member.
And it’s true the bassist chosen to replace Cliff, Jason Newsted, faced a lot of tension from a band still grieving for the loss of their friend.
However, it’s the connection the band maintained with Cliff’s father – and the support Cliff’s father gave to the band – that is something to celebrate.
From the moment Cliff died, his Dad – Ray Burton – encouraged the band to continue.
Despite being in unbelievable grief, he was adamant the best way he could honour his son was having the band go on.
To play the music he helped create.
To let his name, talent and spirit continue even though he is no longer here.
And while the band probably didn’t need that endorsement to make their decision, they treasured it.
But more than that, they treasured Ray Burton.
In their mind, he was a part of the band because he had fathered the guy who helped father the band.
It was a mutual love … based on respect, compassion and a love of Cliff.
I know that sounds like the sort of cliched ‘bro’ statement you would hear from a band or brand in a desperate attempt for a PR headline, but in Metallica’s case, it’s true.
Demonstrated and proven by the duration this relationship has been celebrated, nurtured and expressed.
What’s wonderful is they always managed to do it in a way that was respectful yet positive.
Whether that’s having Ray join the band on stage to be conducted into the Rock n’ Roll Hall of fame, or just having him come to whichever band gig he chooses.
And then celebrating his attendance on stage.
But Ray also plays a big part in keeping this relationship healthy.
Because while he loves the acknowledgement the band and the fans give his beloved son, he also wants to ensure the memory of Cliff doesn’t overshadow or become a burden to his replacement. Or the band.
He loves the music and wants that to be the focus.
And that gives the band the freedom to keep moving forward.
Which, of course, makes them love and support him more.
Which is maybe why their loyalty is so strong and positive.
Because where many [read: companies] believe loyalty is about compliance regardless of situation, Metallica and Ray see it as being founded on openness, honesty and positivity.
They can’t change what has happened.
They can’t live in the past.
But they can celebrate where something they created is going.
Sadly, Ray died recently, aged 94.
The band’s loyalty to him still lives.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, China, Comment, Communication Strategy, Confidence, Corporate Evil, Creative Brief, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Distinction, Emotion, Empathy, Experience, Innovation, Insight, Management, Marketing, Nottingham, Nottingham Forest, Planners, Planning, Point Of View, Positioning, Relevance, Resonance, Standards, Wieden+Kennedy
Once upon a time, Nottingham Forest had a manager called Sean O’Driscoll.
He was an excellent manager. Someone who understood the game and got his teams to play attractive football.
Everything was going well until our then owner – the insane Fawaz – decided to fire him, despite us being at the top end of the table and having just beaten Leeds 4-2.
The reason I mention this is that I recently read an interview with him about how Forest are playing now and in it, he says something that really impacted me.
This is the piece:
The bit that really hit me was when he said:
“Bournemouth expect to win, Forest hope to win”
He’s right. But his point is far bigger than being just about football teams.
A lot of people mistake confidence with arrogance.
I get it’s a fine line, but there is a big difference between the two.
One of the things I found really interesting when I was at Wieden was how many people viewed us as arrogant.
People who often had no experience of working with us in any way.
OK, so there was the odd one or two like that – probably me [hahahaha] – but the reality is/was, it’s a pretty humble place … filled with good, talented humans who love creativity.
But here’s the thing.
When we went into meetings, we generally expected to win.
Not because we thought we were better than everyone else, but because the work we put forward was always what we truly believed was the right thing to do.
We didn’t let politics get in the way.
We didn’t let egos get in the way.
We didn’t weigh the work down with things that sounded good but ultimately just got in the way.
The only thing that mattered was allowing creativity to solve the problem in the most interesting, intriguing and culturally provocative way possible.
Some people found that hard to deal with.
They found our confidence in the work confronting.
But the thing was, it wasn’t because we were big heads, it was because everything we presented was something we had sweated and pushed. Every detail was in there for a reason. That didn’t mean we weren’t open to discussion. Or opinion. It’s just we wanted it to be a discussion, not a dictation … because to throw something out just because someone didn’t like it or misunderstood it meant we were dealing in politics not creativity and that’s not something we subscribed to.
Some misunderstood this.
They interpreted the belief we had in what we were presenting as arrogance.
But arrogance is when you expect to win without putting in the effort.
And that was never the case with Wieden – or countless other places of repute.
The reason I like that O’Driscoll quote so much is he shone a light on the difference between belief and hope.
Hope is when you have worked hard.
Belief is when you have worked hard based on a philosophy.
Not a purpose, a philosophy.
Something that is more than effort or direction, but a distinctive way to play. A style you believes gets better results. A philosophy everyone believes in and is committed to. A standard you all want to reach to show respect to where you are.
If some people mistake that for arrogance, then so be it.
Because the work born from those who play a certain way to win, is far better than those who hope they don’t lose.
Thanks Mr O’Driscoll.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Apathy, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Black Lives Matter, Business, Comment, Confidence, Corporate Evil, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Distinction, Diversity, Emotion, Empathy, Fake Attitude, Insight, Management, Perspective, Planners, Prejudice, Relevance, Resonance
So I know we’re only in day 2 of this blogs 2021 life … but I gave you a couple of weeks of peace to ease into the year and wrote an exceptional bad post – even by my low standards – to prepare you for the onslaught so I feel I’ve been very respectful.
Talking of respectful, here’s an example of people doing the absolute opposite of it.
OK, this happened last year – the year where everything was shit – but it still blows my mind this shit is still being spouted.
What’s worse is when I first saw it – and tweeted about it – a person I vaguely know stood up for it.
Went on about how it’s hard to hire people of colour people there’s not many out there.
That he – as a small business owner – had to go for the best person who is easiest to get because he can’t spend time searching.
Bizarrely, this was his attempt to show he wasn’t racist – because “he saw no colour, just wanted talent”.
Of course he saw no colour, he was just hiring white people.
But then this is not a new excuse spouted by people being racist – whether conscious or not.
Putting aside the fact people who ‘see no colour’ are basically admitting they define and judge others by their own standards or expectations, which – by the nature of corporate hierarchy – are white standards. And putting aside the fact that maybe their attitude to want ‘easy’ stops any person of colour applying because they think they stand no chance of being given a shot. The reality is this abdication of guilt, blame throwing and deliberate ignorance are classic signs of racism.
Talent is everywhere.
Open the door and you will see them.
If you claim you don’t, it’s either because you’re not looking or they know you won’t let them succeed.
Adland is so guilty of this.
A few months ago – when Black Lives Matter was on the front pages of the World’s newspapers – the industry was screaming about how they wanted to make a difference.
Create huge change.
Well, adland … where’s the fuck is it?
Where’s the leadership changes?
Where’s the over-indexing of people of colour being hired?
Where’s the shifts in pay and promotion structures to create fundamental change?
Recently I wrote a tweet:
“Given adland has stopped being vocal about the need to be better with D&I practices, have we solved it?”
One of the people who responded told me how many agencies had actively changed their policies.
How committed they were to changing things.
And while that was nice to hear, the problem is the person who said this was white.
White people do not get to say if things are changing.
White people do not get to say if things are working.
White people do not get to place the burden of responsibility on others.
The only people who can say things are changing – or working – are people of colour.
That we fail to see this shows how far we have to go.
And the really worrying thing is people of colour may just give up on us.
They may take their talent and just go work in totally different industries.
One that sets them up for success.
Values their authenticity not their complicity.
Respects their talent and remunerates them fairly for it.
I wouldn’t blame them for it.
In some ways, I just wish they all got together and started their own company.
My god how amazing would that be.
It would also be the one thing that almost guarantees change would happen in adland.
Because while agencies may have good intentions, they suck at making things happen.
It seems most of the time the attitude is ‘how do we get all the benefits without the effort?’
If the situation was truly as bleak as they – and bank CEO’s – seem to think, why aren’t they investing in development of talent and operational change to liberate this incredible talent pool? Why do they get to just ‘bemoan’ the lack of talent rather than actually do something to change that situation.
I believe there’s two reasons.
1. They don’t want the hassle – professionally or economically.
2. They know there’s talent out there, they just don’t want to hire it.
Please note I’m not saying investment in education and infrastructure change would be wrong.
We know that people of colour are continually disadvantaged by a system designed by white people, for white people.
By changing that, we would see the potential of millions literally being realised … people who could and would make a difference. Not just for other people of colour, but all people … because while they should be prejudiced to those who have held them back for centuries, they’re not.
We can only dream of being that decent.
But it’s important to note that only embracing that view dismisses the huge number of people of colour who have defied every obstacle placed in their way to be ready to make a difference.
I don’t mean are ready ‘to be trained’ to make a difference, I mean are ready to make a difference.
People already doing amazing things – creatively and commercially.
Who have worked twice as hard to get half the benefits.
Expressing their talent in ways that go far beyond just making ads, but literally adding and creating culture rather than – as many of us white people do – take from it.
If the industry is serious about change, then the best thing we can do is stop spouting shit like ‘we see no colour’ and do the opposite … because one of the best ways to change this situation is to actually start seeing it.
Openning our eyes to the talent that is on our doorstep. In our offices. In our communities.
Because while those who choose to deny their existence may like to think they’re making a statement of fact.
Or expressing some sort of superior standard.
We know the the truth is they’re admitting they don’t look because they don’t care.
Fuck each and everyone of them.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Context, Emotion, Hope, Imagination, Love
You know that old adage, "everything happens for a reason"?
Well I passionately believe it.
The thing is, that reason often doesn't become clear for years.
Sometimes the delay is because you are caught in a sea of pain.
So distraught at what is happening around you, you can't see what it's telling you.
Sometimes the delay is simply because clarity takes time to emerge.
That the effect of what occurred needed time before change became clear.
And while it is hard to see the positives in bad things that happen … sometimes, as the quote above states, it clears the way to reaching somewhere new.
That somewhere new could be a range of things.
From having the ability to literally go to a new physical place, to being able go to an abundance of new places in your mind.
It’s happened to me many times.
Where years after a storm, I saw clarity and everything became clear.
From what led to the storm to where I am because of it.
Life is often run at a frenetic pace.
Where our goal is speed rather than substance.
And that’s why storms are so important.
We might not like it at the time. We might feel the consequences of it for years. We might not understand it for decades.
But the storm slows us down.
It makes us think and re-evaluate.
Question what we're doing and who we are.
What we're working towards and where we're going.
I have faced quite a few storms in my life.
Not as many or as harsh as many people have had to endure, and some have been entirely of my own making … but one by one, they have all cleared a path for me, even if it has taken me years to realise that sometimes.
I appreciate some may say the clarity we eventually get is post rationalised. That we ‘invent it’ to feel better about it.
Maybe that’s true.
But what I know is that while life might not go in a straight line, it generally moves forward.
We might not like the speed.
We might not like the direction.
But we can generally deal with what’s thrown at us. Eventually.
And that’s one of the nice things about getting older. You get more comfortable with storms.
It doesn’t mean they don’t mess you up, but you know they rarely will kill you and you will eventually end up far from it.
Obviously we all went through a terrible time with COVID last year.
It whipped up one of the cruelest seas we’ve ever seen.
Many will face the effects of this storm for years to come … and while I am not in any way trying to dismiss the pain or suffering people expeienced – and continue to experience – I hope in time they see it has silently led them to a different place..
Because not all storms are here to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path.
That’s for you A.
Rx