Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Birkenstocks, Colleagues, Confidence, Culture, Daddyhood, Death, Doctor, Effectiveness, Emotion, Empathy, Family, Fear, Happiness, Health, Jill, Love, Mum & Dad, My Fatherhood, Otis, Perspective, Socks
Back in November of last year, I wrote about how I was eating healthy.
It was quite a big thing for me to talk about – which is weird, given I have absolutely no problem writing about death, unemployment or the size of my best friends appendage, to name but a few of the subjects I’ve waxed lyrical about that many smarter people would rather shut-up than share.
But since then, more things have happened and while I genuinely feel uncomfortable to write it, I am also quite proud of myself, so here we go.
You see what happened was back in August, my doctor asked me to spend 3 months focusing on my health. To try and retrain my habits. To make different choices about my diet. To see what might happen by doing it.
And while I’ve been a helpless – and willing – slave to the seductive powers of pasta and sugar for basically my whole life … I decided this was the time I was going to go all in.
So I did.
65g of carbs a day. 25g of sugar a day. 1700 calories a day.
Every day.
And while it was hard at first, once I knew what I could do – and eat – it was satisfying. Well … more satisfying than I imagined. And that only grew when the results of those first 3 months came in.
I’d lost 22kg.
I’d dropped 4 sizes in clothes.
I saw every one of my health measures hit ‘healthy’.
My doctor called to ask if I was OK as the results were so extreme, he thought either the original results were inaccurate or I was doing a different sort of damage to myself.
[For the record, he was wrong on both counts – I was just in a very intimate relationship with chicken and spinach]
And as good as all that was – and it was very good – the biggest change was that I have started to like myself for the first time in a long time.
Yes, I appreciate that sounds tone deaf and dramatic given there are people who face real challenges and problems, whereas I have an amazing family, a wonderful life and lifestyle and a rewarding and fulfilling job … but it’s true.
In my defence, I didn’t really realise it until I started coming out the other side. Mainly because I think the impact was over time … slowly but surely, bit by bit … until at some point, it found a way to settle permenantly just under my surface.
And while it only popped up to mess with me at certain times and moments – and I suspected what may be behind it all – it is only recently that I was able to confirm my concerns about my health, maybe more than my actual health, was the cause of it.
Or should I say, the concerns about my sub-optimal health.
Just to be clear, what I’m talking about is self-esteem.
God it’s a weird thing.
It’s in your power and yet you’re also powerless to it and I felt I was in its grip.Putting me in a corner that I didn’t think I could get out of so I adapted my ways and choices to try and counteract it, without realising I was just giving it more power over me in more ways.
Which is why as I have got more in control of my health, I have felt a bit of a rebirth.
A bit more confidence about what I can do.
A bit more happiness about who I am.
From the superficial to the deeply, deeply personal.
Part of this is because I’m now wearing smaller sized clothes than I have in literally decades and I’m almost ashamed at how much that has affected me. Of course, it’s also bankrupting me as I have to basically buy new t-shirts that no longer look like I’m wearing a man tent dress … but it has changed more than just the size, but what I choose. Because frankly, more things are now available to me and so I’m experimenting with clothes like I’m a 10 year old kid. Well, I say experimenting, but it really has come down to a few t-shirts in colours that aren’t black and some socks [which is, let’s be honest, already a shock given my Birkenstock obsession] in a range of ridiculous colours. Fuck, I even colour coded my t-shirt and socks once … something never ever done in my life. And – to be honest – never to be done again.
But it is in terms of my family that I am the most indebted.
Because I’ve likely increased the time I’ll be here for my wife and son.
OK, so there wasn’t a identified risk that was going to cut it short … but health is always going to make it last longer and that means everything to me.
Because I love my family.
Love every little thing about them.
Of course they can annoy the fuck out of me, but I am sure I am far worse to them – even though this shocks me as I’m obviously a saint.
But as my son is just 9, I want to be around for as long as I can. I want to see the life he builds, I want to be there for the choices he wants to make. I want to just be in his life and have him in mine for as long as possible. With my wonderful wife by my side. Building new adventures and sharing them. Together.
Now I appreciate that all sounds very Hallmark card … but I do, that’s maybe all I want in some ways … and I’d be denying the truth if I said I hadn’t wondered if this was going to be as possible as I hoped it would be.
And yet … I felt it was an impossible situation to change.
I wanted it.
I knew what could help it.
But I didn’t have the skills or the energy or the willpower. Always having an excuse why I couldn’t dedicate the time and energy to it. Which is mad given I have a fuck-ton of energy and willpower to do a bunch of other stuff … but I had convinced myself that I’d met my match and so that affected me deeply in my head. Loving my family but not knowing how to make sure that love could be around for longer.
I know, it sounds pathetic, but I bet I am not the only one who has faced this psychological prison. And just to be clear, it’s not that I hadn’t tried things to change it. I had. And failed … over and over again. Which not only made me feel a bit more shit about myself, but also convinced myself I was not going to win this battle.
Which is why the pride Otis has in what I’ve done that makes me almost cry with joy. And what breaks my heart is that he obviously had the same worries about how long I’d be around. Not overtly. Not daily. But he tells me how proud he is of me and how happy he is I’m ‘healthy’ … and so while no one knows when the ‘end day’ will come, removing some of the more blatant concerns that it could be sooner than you hope, is a psychological gift in itself.
Now I am not going to say if I can do it, anyone can.
I couldn’t do it for 53 years and you don’t have to be healthy to be happy.
I hate that attitude.
And I was happy … I’m just saying I’m happier now.
With myself.
Of course, that doesn’t mean I don’t have issues – I do, bloody loads of them – but it means I have less than I’ve been carrying, which is nice.
In fact, as of today, I have 30kg less problems I’m carrying – ha.
But let’s not ignore the reality that doing this is really fucking hard – especially at the start – and I needed a Doctor to basically scare me into it and needed to actively choose to not make excuses for not sticking with it. Which is why if anyone resonates with my story and wants to chat about their situation – or what I did to try and get out of it – then just get in touch and I’ll listen and share.
While there is a conscious mental decision to be made, at its heart it’s simply about food choices and portion choices. Oh, and investment … both in time and – sadly – money.
Because it’s a privilege to be able to do this, because – ironically – eating less costs more. Or it does if you want to make it easier.
But the good news is there’s choices that actually are good … and you’re talking to someone who thinks kebab and chips is fine dining. So if you want to know more, I’ll tell you what worked for me and how I did it and then you can decide what’s right for you.
Which leaves me to say a huge thanks to my family, doctor, clients, colleagues and whoever the fuck invented 99% sugar free buffalo sauce … because they made this happen. They made this possible,
And while I may fuck up occasionally, I now know I won’t fuck up every single mealtime and that’s a win in my book, because this journey has taught me things about myself and my habits that have been a revelation.
In fact the only thing I am disappointed about is I’ve still not used the overpriced bloody treadmill I bought. Though I’m glad I got the cool, foldable, wifi and bluetooth enabled one … which means there’s some things about me that will never change.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Agency Culture, Apple, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Craft, Creativity, Culture, Experience, Positioning, Resonance, Standards, Status, Stubborness
Over the years I’ve written a lot about the importance of craft.
About taking pride in doing the right thing, not the easiest.
Sweating the details, not just the obvious stuff.
Caring about how you do something as much as what you do.
And yet, despite so many companies talking big about how they’re a ‘premium brand’, it is amazing how a closer inspection, their actions and values reveal something else.
At least where craft is concerned.
Instead, everything they do is evaluated purely by their ability to design, manufacture and scale down to a price point rather than up to a definitive and differentiated standard.
It’s like their attitude is craft is vanity, cost is sanity.
And while the cost element is important, the irony is craft attracts profit, rather costs it.
Even more ironic is that it can do this without needing to make a big deal out of it … because to the people behind it, it’s not a big deal. For them, it’s simply about living up to the standards their brand deserves/expects through the professionalism and passion they live by.
Now I appreciate that may sound – at best – counter-intuitive and – at worst – pretentious as fuck. But the reality is that to the people who buy what they make, they can sense it.
And I say ‘sense’ because sometimes it’s literally a feeling.
A feeling everything has been deliberate, considered and fussed over.
It might be the materials.
Or it might be the packaging.
It may even be a tiny detail they don’t even see until someone else notices it.
A great example of that last point is this from PlayStation.
I love this.
I love it with all my heart.
Many would never know it. Many may not even feel it.
But when they eventually discover it … it will change how they feel about it.
Reinforcing what makes this brand special. How much it cares about standards. And who it is.
But even if that doesn’t happen, it is OK.
Because often this is not done to benefit the end customer, but to satisfy the values and standards of the creator.
And far too often, that attitude is viewed as an indulgent expense when the reality is, it’s the greatest investment you can make in helping create who you can become.
Which is why Steve Jobs talked about the importance of ‘painting behind the fence’.
Or in the case of Playstation, texturing behind the controller.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Corporate Evil, Creativity, Culture, Cunning, Respect, Revenge
I appreciate the last couple of posts have been quite heavy – especially for the start of the new year – so I thought I’d lighten the mood with an act of mischievous revenge.
As many of you know, I am quite a big fan of this sort of thing.
In my time, I would like to think I’ve done some stuff worthy of note.
I don’t mean the stickers at W+K or the badges at Deutsch or the mountain of other shit I’ve done over the years, because in all those cases, they were a sign of the love I had for the company and/or the people at the company.
No, what I’m talking about is some other stuff that some may view as petty, but I see as a way to give a little poke back to people/companies for previous shitty behaviour – whether to me or others – without ever being malicious, damaging or hurtful.
And no, I did not write that last bit to protect me from any legal implication.
Probably.
That said, compared to stuff I’ve seen others do, I admit, I’m a massive amateur.
Things like the guy who brought an ’emotional support clown’ to his redundancy meeting …
… or the guy who recorded telling his boss the reason his performance had declined over the past year – from being one of the companies top rated performers – was because he’d decided to only put in enough effort to match the salary he had been kept on for over two years.
But recently I came across something that, for me, is evil genius.
Evil in its brilliant mischief.
Genius in its ability to hurt without leaving scars or evidence to lead back to them.
Or at least until they posted about it under their name.
It’s this:
Amazing. Effie and Cannes gold worthy amazing.
Daniel, I may never hire you, but I’ll always salute you and be in awe of you.
So this is it. Last post of 2023.
And while we don’t break up till mid next week, It’s time.
For you and for me.
A month of peace, quiet, overeating and underwhelming presents.
So I was thinking how I could end this year of blogging before realising there’s a whole other year of it to come – so instead I’ll end on two things.
First of all is thank you.
Thank you to all the people who read my rubbish. Who get in contact because of my rubbish. Who send me emails telling me it’s rubbish.
I do miss not reading comments on the blog, but removing them has let me become a hell of a lot more productive given I don’t have to continually check what has just been written. [Though the daily emails I get from John, Andy, George and – occasionally, Lee, keep me questioning how to fill in my weekly timesheet]
The other good thing with the blog silence is that I don’t have to deal with the couple of assholes who kept sending me shit. And by ‘shit’, I mean threats and attacks that were far more personal than the threat and attacks everyone else used to write every day.
So it’s a win:win.
Secondly, thank you to everyone who has made this year special to me.
From my family … to my friends … to my team mates and colleagues … to my clients … to the conference organisers who stupidly invited me to be a part of their event … to Nottingham Forest for staying up … to basically everyone who added to the year rather than took it away.
Because I’m in NZ, I get an amazing break where everything and everyone shuts down. As I wrote here, it’s probably the greatest example of protecting mental health than anywhere I’ve ever lived.
But while NZ is a wonderful place, don’t go thinking it’s perfect.
It’s not.
Not even with it’s amazing beauty – as demonstrated in the photo immediately above, which is from the bottom of my street.
And for the record, I don’t mean it in terms of ‘Dream Small’ sense – where too many of the younger generations here feel tolerated rather than welcomed.
No … what I’m talking about is in the alleged kindness and politeness of the people.
Now before any Kiwi reads this blows their gasket, bear with me …
You see on face value, when you arrive here you can’t help but think the people are the nicest bunch of kind, happy, considerate folk you’ve ever met. Always smiling. Always accommodating. Always calm and casual.
You may think they must be heaven sent given the aura of wonderful that radiates out of them.
Then one day you’re in a workshop and a client asks you to write what you think of their brand personality and someone writes something that makes you realise that under that soft skin of compassion and encouragement lies a bubbling cauldron of utter evil bastard.
And while this should make you like them less, it makes you love them more.
Especially when it came from our ever-lovely CCO, Simon Vicars.
Did he say?
He said this:
How amazing is that?
Better yet, he read it to everyone in the meeting.
Which is why I cannot think of a better way to leave this blog for the year, especially as his words could be as much about me and this blog as it was about this brands personality.
[For the record, the client agreed … and it was why they came to us to help them with it]
So to all of you … have an amazing break wherever you are and whatever you do and may you embrace truth over harmony like Si embraces truth over harmony.
Thank you again. For everything.
Till next year … specifically, Jan 15.
Love ya.
Rx
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Creativity, Culture, Family, Hotels, Technology
A long time ago, I was working on an innovation brief for a prestigious car brand.
As I sat there, listening to all the engineers talking, I realised their focus was more on optimising and evolving rather than innovating.
By that I mean, they were more focused on what they do and how they could make it better and more useful than embracing issues that were bigger than just the industry that they’re in.
So I said it.
Silence and incredulity.
“So what would you suggest?” one of them asked.
Now in these situations, it can only go one of three ways.
1. You go blank.
2. You say something they’ve already done/thought about.
3. You say something that makes them stop and think.
In the vast majority of cases – let’s be honest – it tends to be numbers 1 or 2, but on this occasion, I said something that fell into the last bracket.
“What if you made the car the most private, personal space they could be?”
That shut them up.
They weren’t expecting that.
To be honest, either was I … but while they came back at me with all sorts of technological and legal reasons why this couldn’t be done or wouldn’t be wanted – from car data through to our desire to be always contactable through our digital devices – the chief engineer was suitably intrigued for him to ask me to work with them on exploring what it could mean and who it would appeal to, most.
Which led to a year of one of the most interesting projects I ever worked on.
I should point out that when I talked about privacy, it was not about ‘isolation’ … though there is a value in that … I was talking literally about privacy.
Or said another way, ‘what goes on in your car, stays in your car’.
And while there was a bunch of fascinating research and explorations that went on in the quest to see where this could end up, it never got to where I hoped it would. And it certainly never manifested into an actual product I thought it could become.
Which is why this graffiti I got sent recently, hit home:
To me, this encapsulated where my head was at.
The desire to have a place where we are assured privacy and/or solitude.
A cross between a hibernation and a cultural vacuum, if you will.
To be honest, this was all influenced by work we did for Taj Hotels back in 2007 … where we blocked all mobile access at certain Taj resorts.
Back then, it was less about social media and more about the intrusion of work on family holidays … but the premise – and benefit – was the same.
[For the record, it was only possible because of where technology and the law was at back then. Plus all customers opted into this experiment with the acknowledgement there were alternative contact methods available, even if not as convenient]
Of course, I appreciate that was slightly different to what I put forward with the car idea. That was more about having a ‘social kills switch’ when the car was more a mobile ‘black hole’ … but I do believe the value of privacy – even momentary privacy – will soon rival that of FOMO.
We’re already seeing it.
From VPN’s to quiet luxury.
Not because we don’t want to be connected with the world around us.
But because we want to feel we have greater control over it.