So we’re halfway through November.
November!
How the hell did that happen?
Oh my god, 6 weeks and we’re in 2024 … where we can look forward to a year of price increases, mortgage rate increases … but not pay increases.
I’m almost in awe at how companies have seized the economic downturn as an opportunity to charge more for their product. To come up with all manner of reasons to justify why their prices are going up, despite [1] making good profits [2] paying their CEO squillions and [3] not innovating their product or service … meanwhile doing everything they can to not be so open-minded when others try and do the same thing to them.
Crazy.
As crazy as it being halfway through November.
And I’ll tell you another thing that’s crazy … I’ve been on a diet since September.
OK, I didn’t choose to be, it was because of a medical condition they’re investigating … but in essence, I’ve had to radically change how I live my life.
Few carbs.
Few sugars.
Less sodium.
Fewer calories.
Given I am a kebab and chips loving fool, you’d think it would have been a nightmare, but I am quite surprised at how quickly I embraced it.
That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t kill to ram that greasy magic into my mouth – and don’t get me started on how much I miss pasta – but because I have HAD to do it, my mind basically adopted the same mindset I had when I decided I didn’t want to drink … which is radical rejection and exclusion.
So for the past 2 and a half months, I’ve been eating a lot of Weetbix … a lot of chicken … too much lettuce and copious amounts of black tea.
Has it been hard?
Yeah … mainly because everything has to be pre-planned, but once I found ways to get flavour into the blandness being shoved in my mouth, I felt a lot better.
Whoever created ultra-low sugar ‘buffalo sauce’ deserves the Nobel Peace Prize.
And do I feel better for it?
I don’t know to be honest.
Obviously there’s parts of me that does … I’ve lost 18kg for a start … but it’s not like I suddenly have tons more energy or sleep better, as all the cliches go.
But one thing I do feel more informed about is how much sugar there is in absolutely everything.
For possibly the first time in my life, I’ve had to look carefully at the labels of the food I buy/consume and Jesus Bloody Christ … it’s everywhere.
OK, I know everyone knew this.
I probably knew this.
I just didn’t know how much of it was in every teeny thing.
So that has been a revelation …
Will it change me when these tests are done?
I’d like to think yes … but I fear no.
But what has been really fascinating to me is that my real love of dodgy food is the anticipation of eating it and the first 2 bites.
That’s it.
It’s why after I’ve eaten my latest chickenweetbixlettuce combo, I feel a bit confused.
Not that I’ve been able to eat the same thing for the 1000th time, but that I feel OK after it.
That my body seems OK being given fuel rather than taste.
Or said another way …
I feel just as fine after scoffing bland as I did after chips.
Of course I miss those salty vinegary pillows of crispy delight – it sometimes gets so bad that I’ve found myself watching all manner of food related stuff on Youtube from best burger hunts to most pizza slices eaten – but as long as I have had some food in my stomach, I’m over it.
Hell, I’ve even started to appreciate taste.
OK, not in my dress sense or music choice, but definitely in terms of what I put in my gob.
It’s all so bloody mind-blowing.
And while I’m under no illusion that as posts go, this is one of the worst I’ve ever written – and let’s face it, there’s a lot I can compare it too – I’ve written this less for you and more for me … so should I ever feel I cannot live another minute without a big bowl of cheesy pasta, I can read this again and remind myself I’ll survive.
Maybe only just. But I will survive.