Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Childhood, Creativity, Culture, Dad, Daddyhood, Fulfillment, Health, Home, Insight, LaLaLand, Mum, Mum & Dad, Otis, Parents
As I’ve mentioned many, many times, my parents drilled into me the importance of living a life of fulfillment not contentment.
It took me a long time to truly understand what they meant by that, but when I did, it was a revelation.
It is behind so many of the decisions I’ve made in my life.
From moving to so many different countries.
Starting cynic and Sunshine.
Right through to – hopefully – being the father and husband my wife and son thoroughly deserve.
This last one is especially important.
Not just because I love them and want them to know my love, but because at the end of the day – if the things I’m doing away from them doesn’t ultimately benefit them, it’s a waste of time.
When I was a child, my Dad would tell me why it was so important to love the work you did.
His basic premise was that if you’re going to be away from your family so much because of work, you better be doing something you love because nothing would be so insulting than to be away from them doing a job you hated.
That has stuck with me and while I’ve never hated any of the companies I’ve worked for – I’m always aware that once I have more bad days than good [or, in the case of Wieden, more bad polluted Shanghai days, than good] it’s probably time to start exploring what is out there that intrigues me.
Now, through a bunch of luck, these changes have come with greater titles and responsibilities … and I’ve never minded that, but it’s also never been my core motivation. Not because I don’t have ambitions, but I’ve always found the greatest joy being part of something that creates something.
I used to say that if I was to come back again, I’d love to be an architect because that way I could do work that outlived me … then I had my son.
Being a Dad has been one of the most amazing experiences in my life.
I’m ashamed to admit this was not something I was truly aware of, initially.
But now, thanks to the brilliance of my wife, I am able to see that I have helped bring something into the World that will outlive me. Something that can [hopefully] be testimony to the values we value and the things we love but with a life all of its own … a life that can grow and be shaped by the possibilities in the future we may never get to witness.
Which is why as much as I want a career that continues to creatively challenge and excite me at the highest level, my most important ambition is to be a husband and Dad that is present, engaged and full of love and support for the people at home.
It might have taken my wife and son to help me truly appreciate that, but I know my parents would be happy that I finally got there.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Chaos, Comment, Creativity, Culture, Emotion, Experience, Immaturity, Insight, Jill, Management, Marketing, Otis, Parents, Wieden+Kennedy
I’m old.
In fact by adland rules, I’m a bloody dinosaur.
That’s not because I’m switched off to contemporary culture – quite the opposite – but because the industry is ageist to the core.
The reality is anyone at my age tends to face an interesting dilemma in terms of how they are perceived …
Be old but think young and the industry sees you as a try-hard.
Be old and act old and the industry sees you as past-it.
Both things are wrong of course and it’s one of the reasons I always loved Wieden because they valued creativity rather than devaluing age. Of course, you have to keep the flow of new, exciting, dangerous talent coming into the place … but in my experience, when people have an open mind, the young learn from the old and vice versa and the end result is something even more potent than it would have otherwise been.
But maybe that’s just me trying to post rationalise my value.
The thing is, as I get older, I don’t want to subscribe to the ‘life’ I am supposed to have.
That doesn’t mean I aspire to living a long-term midlife crisis any more than I want to spend my time gardening, drinking wine or playing golf … if people want to do that, that’s fine, but I want to indulge in the things that continue to fascinate, intrigue and challenge me.
I wrote about this once before, but the best and worst thing about growing older is that you are continually discovering things you want to explore – in fact, the more you explore, the more you discover additional things you want to explore – but underpinning all this is the unshakable knowledge the time you have to do it is more limited than ever and so there will be paths that will be unexplored.
That’s quite the mindfuck.
Years ago a man I met said, “you know you’re getting old when you can’t feasibly double your age”.
At the time I remember laughing but now I’m in that situation, it’s confronting.
I have so much I want to do. See. Try. Explore.
Then there’s the things like seeing my son forge his own path.
While spending more time with my beloved wife.
More memories. Less dreams.
The idea that time is getting shorter can really fuck you up.
And that’s why for me, it’s about trying to ensure my family life a life of fulfillment.
I don’t want to subscribe to irrelevance.
Sure, one day I might be regarded as that for companies, but this is not about them – but me.
My Mum always had a desire live at the speed of contemporary culture.
She didn’t want to feel she was left behind.
That didn’t mean she did things she didn’t want to do, but she also didn’t want to live in a bubble where her context for life was far removed from the realities of life so she was open to the new and actively explored it … not in the bullshit way advertising portrays it, but in her interest in culture, from comedians and artists to music and politics.
That’s an amazing lesson to be taught – one I wholly subscribe to – which is why I think the industry is missing the point when it labels people over 40 as over-the hill. For me, rather than judge individuals by their physical; age, they should judge them by what they bring … what they challenge … what they change … because it’s the one’s who refuse to be labelled who can make exciting things happen.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Confidence, Culture, Dad, Daddyhood, Education, England, Family, Happiness, Innocence, Insight, Jill, Love, Mum, Mum & Dad, Otis, Parents, Relevance, Resonance, Standards, Unexpected Relevance
As I’ve written before, I didn’t go to University. I knew pretty early on that I didn’t want to continue my formal education.
That doesn’t mean I didn’t/don’t like to learn, it just means I find it far more powerful when it’s not in an academic environment.
I still remember telling my parents my decision and being slightly scared.
They desperately wanted me to go so I was worried they would see this as a slight on them – which is absolutely not what it was meant to be.
They asked for my reasons and when I told them, they said that they would support my decision as long as I applied in case I changed my mind.
So I did.
And I got accepted.
But I was still sure not going was the right thing for me, so my parents – while obviously disappointed – supported my decision and never brought it up again.
Looking back now, I feel that must have been very hard for them.
At that point, going to university was the fast track to a career and yet – as another act of their love and confidence in me – they pushed me to follow the things that genuinely interested and excited me and hoped it would all work out.
I’d say it did.
But now I’m a dad and while Otis is only 3, the thought of education looms large.
Would I do the same thing as him?
Of course I want to help equip my son in the best way possible for the life he wants to lead and one of those ways is to provide him with a good education. But the fact is I’m vehemently opposed to private education and while general access schools can be very good, the reality is private tends to offer better opportunities simply because of the funding and the facilities … which leads to an interesting conflict.
What’s best for my son versus what’s true to me?
Given Otis is so young right now, the decision will ultimately be mine and his Mum’s, but once he’s older, what do I do if he chooses a path I feel is not in his best interests.
Sure, it worked out for me, but the World was different back then and then I saw the ‘god’ instagram above – a sentiment that was absolutely reinforced by our recent America In The Raw research – and realised that by the time he has to make some choices, he will be far more aware of what he needs to do to increase his odds of success than his Mum or me.
But then I realised something else …
It’s not just about acknowledging their view of their World will be better than yours, it’s also backing your parenting.
When my Mum and Dad supported my decision, they were ultimately supporting how they raised me.
They believed the values and smarts they’d instilled in me were the right ones to enable me to make the right choices … and while I know they would have been there if it all fell down, that sense of confidence and belief probably enabled me to go to places I might otherwise not have done. Places I might not otherwise have felt I deserved to be.
And that’s why backing your team is everything.
Of course you have to instill values and standards into them, but once that’s done, you have to back them including what they think is right – even if you don’t – because if that doesn’t happen, you’re literally stopping their potential rather than liberating it.
Thank you Mum and Dad. Again.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Brand Suicide, China, Comment, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Deutsch, Differentiation, Food For Thought, Goodbye China, Hello America, Insight, Internet, Interviews, Marketing Fail, Martin Weigel, My Fatherhood, Otis, Paul, Planners, Planners Making A Complete Tit Of Themselves And Bless, Planning, Point Of View, Positioning, Pretentious Rubbish, Relevance, Resonance, Social Media, Standards, The Kennedys, The Kennedys Shanghai, Unexpected Relevance, Unplanned, Unprofessional Professional, Wieden+Kennedy
How is your 2018 going so far?
I know it’s still early days – but is it looking good or bad?
Well, if it’s looking positive, I’m about to ruin it for you and if it is looking dodgy, I’m going to help you solidify your opinion.
Why?
Well, a few weeks ago, a nice guy called Paul McEnany asked if he could interview me about my career.
While I’m sure his reasoning for his request was to help planners learn what not to do, my ego said yes even before my mouth did … and while the end result is the bastard love child of rambling randomness and base-level swearing, it’s the perfect way to justify your pessimism for 2018 or to ensure your optimism for the new year doesn’t get too high.
So go here and errrrrm, enjoy [if that’s the right word for it, which it isn’t] and after you’ve heard my crap, listen to the brilliant interviews with people like Gareth Kay, Russell Davies, Richard Huntingdon, Martin Weigel and the amazing Chris Riley because apart from being hugely interesting and inspiring, you’ll get the added bonus of [1] undeniable proof I’m a massive imposter and [2] the knowledge that if I can have some sort of semi-successful career in advertising, you certainly can.
You’re welcome.