Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Audio Visual, Brand Suicide, Comment, Communication Strategy, Confidence, Corporate Gaslighting, Culture, Cunning, Equality, Experience, Fake Attitude, Honesty, Insight, Loyalty, Management, Perspective, Point Of View, Prejudice, Social Divide, Social Media, Standards
I know what you’re thinking …
Or should I say, I know what you were hoping.
That hitting 50 and having 10 days off would make me re-evaluate what I’m doing?
That I’d start to value afternoon naps versus writing stupid blog posts.
Well, if I was smart, maybe that would be the case … but I’m not, so here I am.
To show my age has done nothing to extinguish my pain-in-the-ass spirit, I thought I’d post about a little project I have going on.
It kind of comes out of the Corporate Gaslighting work I’ve done and basically relates to what seems to be the skills, modern management values most.
Now there are plenty of very, very good leaders out there …
But, and this is only personal opinion, it seems there are far more bad.
Now I appreciate some will view what I’m doing and say the people I’m describing are not bad, they are simply ‘optimising’ their position. However, managers should achieve their success based on what they enable their people to achieve rather than trying to ensure the spotlight falls just on them … so because of that, I stand by my view.
What’s scary is these attitudes and behaviours are so common that someone thought – when I posted one on social media – that I was celebrating them rather than mocking them.
That scares the crap out of me.
But not as much as the idea employees are being trained – consciously and subconsciously – to do this to further their career.
But I would like your help …
What am I missing?
What are terrible management practices that are being sold as ‘sensible’.
For example, with the blame thrower at the top of this post, I added the following:
If you don’t own your mistakes, let someone else own it. #LessonsFromModernManagement
And for this …
… I added this ‘lesson’:
It’s more effective to manage up than manage your standards. #LessonsFromModernManagement
But what else is there?
I’ve got one regarding the benefits of doing whatever someone wants you to do as well as destroying others careers is it proves you were made for success … but as I really want to turn this into some sort of alternative management book type-of-thing, I need a ton of them.
I know they’re out there.
I know I can come up with a lot myself.
But if you have any suggestions, I would be so grateful.
It may help someone not become the sort of manager that appears on Corporate Gaslighting.
Or allow someone who is suffering from this sort of ‘leader’, to realise they’re not to blame.
So I hope you can help.
Over to you …
Filed under: Anniversary, Birthday, Comment, Daddyhood, Emotion, Family, Friendship, Jill, Love, Loyalty, Otis, Paul, Shelly
I know I’m on holiday and there should be no posts this week, but today – like yesterday – is a moment that needs to be celebrated, even if I’m not around.
June.
1970.
2 amazing things happened.
The first was I was born … hahahaha.
But the second occurred 4 days later, when Paul Hill popped out.
Though some of you in Nottingham will know him as the Frothy Coffee Man.
Since that day, we’ve basically been inseparable.
From discovering we lived on the same street – at least initially – to going through every school class together, every drama and hardship together and every exciting adventure together.
From kindergarten to college … divorce to death … mortgage to marriage … we’ve always been together.
Always.
And now my parents have passed away, he is the person I’ve known – and who has known me – the longest my life and that might be part of the reason why I genuinely regard him as family.
Hell, I haven’t bought a full page ad in a newspaper for anybody else … and that includes my wife and son!
I don’t know what it was, but we just clicked from the second we met.
A bond that has remained to this day.
And I genuinely mean a bond.
Even when I spent 25 years away from the UK, Paul was always my best mate.
We could go a month without talking – or a year without seeing each other – but the moment we were back together, whether in the flesh or on the phone, it was there.
The bond.
Solid as all fuck.
Like no time had been between us.
Now if you ask my wife, there is one thing that defines this … our immaturity.
You see, while life has changed for both of us, when we’re together, we return to being cheeky, mischievous 10 year olds.
OK, some of that is because Paul has done some momentously stupid things that makes me cry with laughter … and some of it might be that we have a lifetime of memories and experiences we’ve built up … but generally, when we’re together, we get younger.
Or more precisely, act younger.
I can’t tell you how grateful I am that our wives put up with it.
Just like I can’t tell you how happy I am our wives adore each other.
But there’s something even better than that, and that’s how Otis talks about his odd-parents.
Having my son see my oldest friend and his wife as part of his family is such an amazing feeling.
Maybe part of this is because Paul and Shelly don’t have kids of their own …
Maybe part of this is because Otis has spent so much time with them …
Maybe part of this is because Paul acts younger than Otis …
But whatever the reason, I am so happy he see’s ‘Uncle Paul and Auntie Shelly’ as being important in his life because I want all of them to know how important they are in ours.
To reach 50 with my best friend is a wonderful thing.
I would love to just sit down and talk about all the things we can remember together.
And while I could do that today – when I go to see him – it would take a long time.
But there are some things that stand out to me …
From him ALWAYS picking me as the ‘dog’ in the song ‘Old McDonald’ … so all the kids in kindergarten would smack me on the head.
To the time he came back from a family trip to Hong Kong with the first digital watch I’d ever seen with a calculator in it.
When we bumped into each other in LAX, not knowing our wives had spent 6 months secretly planning a trip for us all to go to Vegas and renew our vows with an Elvis impersonator.
That year he came back from the school 6 week holidays about 10 feet taller than when he left.
When we stayed up all night in Sheffield so we could get to the front of the stadium to see Queen – only to learn they weren’t coming and we got Five Star instead.
To Mr One Eye, Round Table Christmas Tree, shoes on the wrong feet, the girls at Glens, BMX petition, the ‘Jessops’ mirror, Duchess, the ‘Denmark’ incident, wheelie competitions, a coach reversing up his parents driveway at midnight, Rock City on Friday night, Bangkok Shakes tours, sawing my finger off, his insanely large appendage, Passport to Pornland …. he has been involved or connected to every single event in my life.
Good. Bad. Happy. Sad. Big. Small. Fun. Stupid.
And yet in all this time together, we have only ever had one falling out.
One!
And all I can remember is that it was about a local radio DJ who had committed murder.
God knows what we disagreed on but all I know is we were waiting for the number 45 bus to take us into town from Greythorn Drive … we had an argument … and I walked off in a huff.
I think I rang him the next day in tears to apologise and he was like, “what are you apologising for?”.
And that’s him.
Kind. Generous. Stupid. Lovely.
The reality is, Paul and I have a friendship based on enjoying life rather than worrying about it.
That doesn’t mean we are immune from pressure, troubles and hardship.
We both have had – and will have – situations that have been challenging and devastating to us. And when they happen, we are there for each other. But when I think of my relationship with Paul, I think of happiness.
That I still think that 50 years down the line is both incredible and testimony to his character.
I am proud of who he is.
I am proud of what he’s doing..
I am proud I get to call him my best mate.
Happy birthday beautiful.
Can’t wait to see you.
Here’s to the next 10.
Rx
_________________________________________________________________________________
Oh hang on, I’ve forgotten the best part.
As you know I’m a sentimental fart.
When Paul turned 40, I wanted to get him something that would show him how much I adored him and so – as I mentioned earlier in this post – I bought a full page ad in the Nottingham Evening Post newspaper.
The ad is the picture showing Paul at different stages of his ‘development’.
What’s funny is the paper then interviewed me to find out more about my ridiculousness gift and for some reason, they kept referring to Shelly – his wife – as ‘second wife, Shelly’.
They even printed it!
Fortunately she took it in good humour, which is handy as I then bought her mugs and tea towels with it proudly emblazoned on them.
But 50 is a whole different age …
So while I wanted to get Paul something that celebrated his birthday milestone and showed how much I love him … I wanted it to be more subtle, more respectable, more in keeping with people of our age.
So I got him this … I hope he like it, it took me an age to edit it all together
Happy birthday big fella.
Filed under: Anniversary, Attitude & Aptitude, Birthday, Comment, Jill, Love, Otis
Yes, I’m on holiday.
Yes, I know I am not supposed to be writing any blogposts.
But today – and tomorrow – are exceptions, because it’s special people’s special days.
Starting with today, where it’s my wonderful wife’s birthday.
I am conflicted about it.
I love that we are growing old together.
I love that we have memories together.
I love that we have ambitions together.
But I hate how quickly it’s all going.
I am so grateful for all she is in my life.
For all she’s done … supported and encouraged.
I just wish it wasn’t happening so quickly.
For all the horror of COVID, it has been very special for me.
I get the privilege in that statement, but to be with Jill … to spend more time with her than maybe I have ever spent has been incredibly special.
Of course I wish it wasn’t at the huge cost that it has been for others, but I do look at this period as one I will remember for the worst and best of reasons.
Happy birthday my love.
You’re wonderful in every way.
You make everything better, including who I am.
I love you.
So much.
Rx
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, America, Anniversary, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, China, Comment, Dad, Daddyhood, Family, Friendship, Honesty, Jill, Love, Loyalty, Otis, Parents, Paul, Relationships
So this is it.
Today I’m 50.
I’m also on holiday.
Well, I say holiday, but I’m just going to be hanging out with the family for the next 10 days.
Yep, I’m going to be doing exactly the same as I have for the last couple of months thanks to quarantine.
Christ, this is the weirdest holiday I’ve ever had.
Literally doing more of the same, albeit without the zoom calls.
But I’m happy – as I know you will be given there won’t be any blog posts for all that time.
OK, as I wrote last week, I’m not exactly ecstatic about reaching my half century … but the fact is, I know I have little to complain about.
The life I have is one that is totally different to the one I imagined. Even aspired for.
When I look back at what my ‘goals’ were when I was in my late teens, it’s unbelievable how mundane they were.
How unambitious.
There are some reasons for that which reflect the times my family were going through – but even so, they’re pretty beige.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong for that, but when I compare it to the life I’ve had and the life I intend to have … they’re about as different as you can get.
That’s not meant to sound some ‘bigging up’ of myself, simply a reminder that your ambitions are a reflection of the World you live in which is why I will be forever grateful to my parents that they were so supportive of me going on an adventure when they could have so easily encouraged me to stay … especially as Dad had his stroke just as I was about to leave and basically the entire family was thrown into disarray.
Dad couldn’t talk or walk.
Mum had to leave her job immediately.
She didn’t drive and so for months, she had to catch the bus to the hospital.
And then, when he did come home, she had to do the majority of the care on her own.
In fact, when Dad got ill, I immediately said I was staying but Mum and Dad insisted I go, because as much as they loved me and would miss me, they were worried if I didn’t take this opportunity after months of planning, I may never go.
And they were right. I wouldn’t.
I’d have stayed in England forever.
Possibly never even left Nottingham.
And while there would be absolutely nothing wrong with that, they knew exploring the World would help me discover who I am.
To encourage that at the very worst time of their life is the definition of unconditional love and I hope if I am ever in that situation with Otis, I would do the same.
To be honest, it’s their encouragement to go explore and discover that became my biggest driver in life.
Basically, if I was going to go away – leave my family to deal with the terrible hardship of Dad’s illness – then the least I could do was embrace the opportunity they gave me. To never take it for granted and chase down the things that interested, challenged, intrigued and inspired me.
I’d like to think I did that and do that but I know I went through a lot of soul searching when came I back to England after they had died. I kept asking myself why did I do it then when I could have come back when they were still here.
Of course there’s many reasons for that – and there’s a good chance we won’t be in England forever – but I know for a fact that as proud as Mum was about all the places I lived [Dad only knew I was going to Australia and he would have be blown away if he knew all the places I’d lived and seen] she would be so happy I was back. For however long that may be.
From seeing others turn this age, it appears this is the moment where they tend to evaluate where they’ve been and where they’re going.
And while I’ve done a little bit in this post, the fact is I do it on a daily basis.
It’s as much about what pushes me towards the unknown as it is that keeps me focused on what matters to me.
Hence the title of this post …
Because when you don’t look for security in everything, you remain open to anything.
So now it’s time to wrap this post up.
You will be relieved to hear I am going to resist the urge to be overly nostalgic and sentimental, so will leave with this:
While they will be in my heart and mind throughout the day, I don’t mind admitting that I wish Mum and Dad were here to celebrate with me.
That said, I am so happy my beautiful wife and son are here to share my special day with me.
And I genuinely feel so lucky that the most important person from my earliest days – Paul – is still the most important friend in my life today.
As I said, overall, it’s been a pretty fucking amazing run so far – and while I have worked hard for it [contrary to what many will say] I’ve also been bloody lucky along the way too … and I intend to keep that run going – at least in terms of adventure and exploration. I still owe that to my Mum and Dad.
So happy birthday to me and I’ll see you in 10 days …
Older, but not wiser.
Exactly as I like it.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Brilliant Marketing Ideas In History, Comment, Context, Creative Brief, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Empathy, England, Marketing, Parents
Look at that ad.
Look at it.
Isn’t it marvellous?
Simple. Clear. Charming. Engaging.
Sells the product feature through a human benefit.
A simple story that works for kids and parents alike.
The photo and the headline do all the heavy lifting, namely because the photo isn’t a stock image and the headline isn’t a piece of generic twaddle. And yet it’s not like it has high production values, it is just a good piece of advertising.
It’s also from a bygone age.
Not just because this ad ran years ago, but because advertising has become about selling features rather than benefits.
Explaining rather than communicating.
Describing rather than imagining.
Telling rather than inspiring.
It’s not advertising … it’s a product brochure designed to please the board of directors rather than actual human beings.
Despite my music and clothes taste, I hate looking backwards … but maybe the industry needs to do that. Not because we should aim to replicate what has gone before, but because we seem to need to remember it was stories, ideas, creativity and craft that once made us so valuable, not being able to churn out cultural landfill at the lowest price per execution.