The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

The Best Thing To Happen To America Since The Invention Of The Hamburger. Probably.

For all the shit America is going through and – let’s not forget – creating for itself, it’s still a pretty awesome country.

The warmth we have receieved from people has been amazing.

Kindness. Consideration. Welcoming.

To be honest, it’s more than we’ve experienced in any of the other countries we’ve lived in – at least in terms of the speed we got it – and so once I got over my initial skepticism, I really started to embrace it.

Of course there’s some things I’ll never get used to.

Not using a ‘u’ in so many of their words.

Calling it soccer instead of football.

Actually using the word “Y’all”.


But in most cases I’ve been able to get past it mainly because I’ve chosen to ignore it.

A big part of my ability to do that has been due to the amazing lifestyle LA has given my family.

I have to say, living near the beach, with almost daily sun and cleanish air is an amazing thing to have.

It’s probably as close to paradise as you can get.

However there is one thing I can’t deal with.

One thing I cannot ignore.

That’s right, it’s Otis developing an American accent.

Worse, a Californian accent.

Saying “Mom” will never be acceptable.

Ending the alphabet with “zee” can never be tolerated.

Which is why at the end of August I’ll be leaving Deutsch and on the 5th September, we will be leaving America to go and start a new life in London.

No, that is not a joke.

OK, blaming it on Otis’ American twang is, but the reality of our impending move is not.

It’s definitely not been an easy decision …

The thought of taking my family away from paradise so soon after we got here is horrible.

The thought of moving Otis away from his beloved Elodie breaks my heart.

The thought of saying goodbye to so many people who I now regard as friends, is horrible.

But, for a whole host of reasons, it’s the right thing to do.

More than that, it’s something we’re looking forward to doing.

OK, I admit, when we were thinking about the idea, there were a few moments where I went through a range of emotions I didn’t know were there.

Or said another way, a whole range of emotions I’d obviously been doing a good job of keeping hidden deep down inside for years and years.

Part of it was a sense of guilt about moving ‘home’ after my parents had passed away.

I kept thinking that if I was going to go back, why didn’t I do it when they were alive?

Of course there were many reasons for it – reasons my parents both knew and encouraged – but underpinning them all was this belief I was never going to move back to the UK.

Except I am.

And while it’s been over 24 years since I last lived there – so it will probably feel like a totally new place – I’m excited about it, even though insane stuff like brexit is [allegedly] just around the corner.

Part of this is that I’ll be living in London for the first time in my life. [As opposed to just commuting there]

Part of this is because I’ll be physically closer to my beloved Paul and Shelly than I’ve been in over 2 decades.

Part of it is because it is another chapter of adventure for my wife, son and cat.

Part of it is because I will be closer to my Mum’s sister – my Aunt – in Italy.

And part of it is for what I’m going to be doing, which I’ll talk about another time.

But all that said, I’m incredibly grateful to Deutsch, my [new/old] colleagues and friends and Los Angeles for giving me an experience that has been an honour to experience and enjoy. I’ll write a proper goodbye to them all soon, but what they need to know is they made a huge impact on me and my family.

Both good and bad, hahahaha.

When Jill, Otis, Rosie and I came here, we never imagined we would leave so soon, as demonstrated by the acquisition of houses and cars and a whole host of electronics that will only ever work on US power supplies [the most epic garage sale will be happening soon], but – as we all know – sometimes life gets in the way of our best laid plans and when that happens, it’s better to embrace it than fight it.

So to everyone who has made our time here so memorable, thank you … we will miss you, even if you won’t miss us.

Or – more specifically – me.

London. I’ll see you soon.

Start making your excuses to avoid me now.

44 Comments so far
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This almost makes me believe Donald Trump is making America great again.

Comment by DH

I think this news will make the UK forget about Brexit.

Comment by DH

Or it will want to make the ‘leave’ voters reconsider in the hope I can become one of their neighbours problems.

Given my track record of moving countries, they might not be wrong – except Jill has said, “no more moving for at least 5 years”.

Comment by Rob

Seriously, can’t believe you’re moving back after so long. I know the reasons and it means you’re a good man who does good things but let me deal with you going home after so long first. Espexially as you’ll crush it there and make me hate you even more.

Comment by DH

Rob! This news has blown my mind. We need to catch up, especially as Dave seems to know everything and I don’t.

Comment by Bazza

Story of your life.

Comment by DH

if you came to drinks rather than flogged iphone shit you would know what the fuck is going on.

Comment by andy@cynic

Yes Baz, we do. Tomorrow?

Comment by Rob

youre going back for the perfect fucking opportunity for you campbell. selling scarfs at the forest ground might be a stretch for you skills but i think you can pull it off. with 10 years of fucking practice.

Comment by andy@cynic

Andrew. You are incorrigible.

Comment by Lee Hill

youre welcome.

Comment by andy@cynic

Until my asylum claim is granted by North Korea, I shall do my best to reduce your bank account at every opportunity.

Comment by John

we are fucking counting on you doddsy.

Comment by andy@cynic

but dont be surprised if the fucker gets you to pay for everything. he makes bernie madoff look like the fucking pope.

Comment by andy@cynic

I can’t wait to buy you a packet of Maltesers John. Make them last though, they’ll be the only packet you’re getting.

Comment by Rob

In that case, I am going to commission a huge pack of giant diamond-encrusted 24 carat-gold Maltesers.

Comment by John


Comment by Billy Whizz

Trump gets elected then Rob moves to America.
Trump visits England then Rob says he’s moving to England.
Can’t wait for Trump’s visit to Uranus.

Comment by Billy Whizz

and donf blame otis for this move. even a californian, over energized or weed smoking voice that shouts “dude” every 2 fucking minutes is preferable to whatever you call your fucked up hybrid shit voice.

Comment by andy@cynic

You know it was a joke don’t you.
You did read I said it was a joke.
But you’re right about my accent, I watched a video of me from my time in Australia and I couldn’t believe how much my accent has changed. I may be going home, but I certainly won’t sound like I have.

Comment by Rob

I never thought this day would happen but I am so glad it is. I very much look forward to meeting Jill and Otis. America’s loss is England’s gain.

Comment by Lee Hill

I know you don’t think you made the impact you hoped you would while you were here, but to get the words Maya wrote on your Facebook in only 12 months of being here proves otherwise. (though that would be an achievement and honour for anyone even if they had been in America 100 years) It’s a huge loss for America but I’m excited for you and jealous of your new colleagues.

Comment by Pete

his present colleagues are throwing a fucking freedom party. and that maya is happy as fuck as those lies likely got her a big pay rise. i like her conniving except she did it in a way that gave campbell an even bigger fucking head.

Comment by andy@cynic

I’m very sad to hear you’re leaving America so soon, but if I moved here at this time, I’d want to leave too. I think your commitment to creativity and family is brilliant and Europe is very lucky to have you. I know where you’re going but is it official yet?

Comment by George

Comment by DH

Well there’s a bunch of reasons – and the lifestyle in LA is amazing – but at the end of the day, if that was the most important thing I’d have stayed in Australia. I will miss it though – and certainly a bunch of the people and a few of the things I’ve achieved – but sometimes the best laid plans don’t go to plan. While you know – and the article kind of says it – the details of where/what I’m going to be doing not out yet [excluding the Metallica thing and the weigelcampbell thing] and I don’t really want to talk about it as that would be disrespectful to my department and Deutsch.

Comment by Rob

You were never this considerate when we worked together.

Comment by George

I bet you still find excuses not to meet me. I would if I were you.
I any case, Birkenstock UK must be rubbing their hands with glee.

Comment by Northern

under no fucking circumstances meet that prick or your life is going to be worse than being born up north.

Comment by andy@cynic

But I can ruin his life…………..

Comment by Northern


Comment by andy@cynic

I moved from Lithuania to London two and a half years ago and I absolutely LOVE the place. This feeling I have could be partly because it’s my first move away from home(which is a very boring place) and just experiencing new culture, things and finding out more about myself in the process is a fascinating thing alone, but no it’s not only that. There’s something going on here, that I really like. Is it people,climate or nature or just the way this city is built – I don’t know, probably everything combined, but it’s so so good times being here. I think Otis and Jill, you and even Rosie will like living here very much.

Funny thing is I’m getting my US visa in a year or so and I’m really stuck with my thoughts on should I take a risk and go on another adventure again or stay where I really like.
Still have some time to decide though.

Can’t wait to see your next banner :]

Comment by toto

Well I look forward to seeing you in London.

And while the US has its issues, the whole point of life is adventure so don’t do something because it scares you, do it for that very reason.

Comment by Rob

It would be a pleasure to meet you Rob, let’s do it.

Of course, how could I expect a person who is jumping from Country to Country to say anything else ?
But you are right.

Comment by toto

Already? You’re running out of nations to leave.

Comment by Wayne Green

your blog is always nice to read. Glad to hear the USA made a positive impression on you and best luck in London.

Comment by william.h

I’m genuinely excited about this, Robert. It feels like we will finally meet sometime soon, which is something that I am very much looking forward too. It will be interesting to hear what it will be like for you to go back to Britain as it is something I’m 100% sure that I will never do (although I’m completely smitten with Edingburg). Take care. Hope to see you soon

Comment by Marcus

Yay! you’re coming to London 🙂 (my home town) I’m looking forward to hearing what opinionated sodishness London holds for you.

Comment by Chelby10

Only just saw this. Like Marcus I hope it means that we shall get to meet. Best of luck with the house hunting.

Comment by Phil

Thanks Phil, super excited I could finally meet you and Mr Marcus.

Comment by Rob

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