Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Effectiveness, Empathy, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Mediocrity, Planners, Relevance, Strategy
So the good news for you all is this is the last post for 2 weeks.
Yep, you’ve guessed it – I’m on a holiday, I mean a work trip.
Or should I say trips. Plural.
First to Europe. Then Australia. Then LA … I know, I know, I’m a prick.
Now given I pre-write my posts [for example today is the 25th Jan] I appreciate I could still cover this period, but let’s be honest – after 18 years, I’m running out of things to say so we could both do with the break from each other.
What that means is this is the last post until March 4.
MARCH!!!
How the fuck have we got there so soon? Oh, I suppose we haven’t yet have we … but anyway, March 4 is a Monday, so you get to have multiple weekends before I ruin your week again.
You’re welcome.
So now what do I do after writing that long-winded introduction?
Fuck knows.
But recently I saw a couple of things that I thought were particularly good and both revolve about intelligence in marketing rather than the egotistical commodification of it.
As I’ve written a few times before, I’m a bit fed up of the ‘hustle culture of commentary’ that our industry has got itself into. Where everyone seems to speak like they’re gods and gurus who have invented or reinvented the World.
That doesn’t mean they’re idiots – many say stuff that is genuinely interesting – but so much of it has an air of self-interest. Hijacking topicality for self-capitalisation.
Though the ones who claim they’ve got the answers to everything make me laugh – especially when they do nothing with it other than pedestal spouting. I mean, how stupid is that if they think it’s going to change the world. But maybe its because somewhere along the way, they’ve realised what they’re claiming is not ‘new’, just new to them and all they’re doing is reinforcing how little they know about their industries history or life outside their bubble.
That’s not wrong, we all do that to a degree, but it tends to lead to people changing their ways rather than doubling-down on their ego.
But even those people aren’t as annoying as the ones who claim some sort of ownership over something someone has actually done, because they spouted something vaguely associated with the topic on Twitter/X about 6 years earlier.
As I said a while back, it will only be a matter of time before someone makes a paper plane and claims they’ve invented flight.
Look, I’m all for thinking out loud – hell, I’ve been doing it on here for almost 2 decades – but when it’s conveyed with the confidence of a mediocre white man [copyright Chelsea] then that’s where the problems start. At least for me.
There are some brilliant people out there … genuinely brilliant. People who do stuff or try stuff with what they think and say. And a lot of them aren’t even on social media. But unfortunately there seems to be a lot more who are camped out on social platforms … churning out an endless stream of strategic myths, obviousness or bullshit … using a tone that suggests they’re innovators and anyone who dare challenge them, is a luddite.
It’s kind of the Trump strategy and sadly, like Trump, it works with many.
Which makes me wonder, ‘what if I’m wrong?’.
And you know what … I could be. And I’m open to be.
But popularity is not a sign of originality … or accuracy … or smarts … and I think those things are pretty important too.
That said, if we’re going down this imitation intelligence path, at least make people think rather than try to demand how they should think. And recently I saw two things that did just that.
The first was this:
Now I appreciate a strategist supporting a message of not getting lost in planning may sound a bit weird … but apart from everything else, it makes a welcome change from the overly complex schtick we seem to be celebrating and advocating for right now.
Of course thinking things through is important. But one thing we don’t seem to talk about a lot is the importance of knowing when to stop. So you can put things into motion rather than putting them into an endless loop of consideration.
I got given a piece of advice once I’ve held on to for a long time.
“Be rigorous as hell until you find something exciting …
… then stop and protect it at all costs.”
Now I appreciate the person who told me this was very successful so could afford to say that, but their point was that it was this approach that had got their position. In essence, they advocated for planning to show them the way not obscure it.
I like this view.
When I was starting out, strategy was valued when it was powerful simple … delivering a path to the bigger, better places with sharpness, potency and focus.
But now it seems we’re not like that.
The general narrative appears to be ‘we live in different times with different considerations’ and so we need a completely different approach to the work we do.
And while they’re not wrong about a lot of that … we’re forgetting what strategy is for so now we’re at this weird place where it appears the value is in the complexity rather than the potent, fierce, simplicity.
Please note I say simplicity, not simplistic – which is another thing some people do in an attempt to look like Einstein, when all they’ve done is reduce Liquid Death’s success to “a can that looks different to all other water cans”.
But I digress …
The reality is strategy that is all about complexity is harder to execute, easier for people to hide and more focused on what is done rather than why we’re doing it in the first place.
And that’s why I liked the clip above … because it was a reminder we need to protect what we want to do rather than only care about where the process will lead us.
Which is why I also liked this:

Sure, I get it’s a retrospective, observational view … but it’s interesting and simple.
And funny.
Plus if it was true, it would be a piece of fucking amazing reframing strategy.
Not that people would say that or see that.
Or at least not as simply as the originator articulated.
Which reminds me of the image we used in our Cannes Strategy Is Constipated, Imagination Is The Laxative talk with the image of all the different strategic frameworks that say the same thing in ever more complicated ways.
My Dad once said that people who want to show how smart they are, aren’t that smart.
That their need to demonstrate their brain is a demonstration of their insecurity.
I wonder what he’s say if he was alive today and saw how a lot of my industry was behaving.
Because I think he’d have a different view.
That their talk is not about insecurity, but distraction.
It’s why I loathe when I hear people say ‘we’ve done all the work so you don’t have to’.
Oh my fucking god.
But I appreciate this post is getting so long that I’ll be back by the time you’ve finished reading it. That is if anyone did read this, so I’ll just leave you with this …
There is no ‘secret’ to being good.
Even the most talented people work hard at developing it.
In a world promoting hustle, we need to give more value to graft.
I get that’s not a popular thing to say, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
So stay open to different views but be cautious of definitive claims.
Especially from people who can’t point to what they’ve done beyond how many people follow them. Because you just might find they value speed over substance and you don’t want their ego to be at the expense of your growth.
Huge apologies for the epic rant, a bit like old time – ha.
See you in March.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Communication Strategy, Confidence, Corporate Evil, Culture, Effectiveness, Linkedin, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Mediocrity, Professionalism
Did you have a good Valentine’s Day?
Did you get loads of cards … flowers … money?
Nah, neither did I and frankly, I’m still in shock at how positive I was about it so let’s get back to normal with a rant.
About Linkedin.
Specifically people on Linkedin who seem to think they can do whatever the fuck they want.
I’ve come to the realisation that Linkedin is full of people who used to write posts in early Facebook days that said, ‘like this post if you want to end World hunger’.
I say that because the modern equivalent is when someone stupidly accepts an invitation and within a second, they’re in your ‘inbox’ flogging their advice and/or services and expecting you to want to desperately book a meeting with them to hand over your cash.
Except their emails tend to have a couple of fatal flaws.
They often have absolutely nothing to do with what you do.
Or they have everything to do with what you do, but they don’t realise that.
And they are written with such an attempt at casual professionalism, you know the same email has been received by 10,000 people that day.
Recently I got one within minutes – LITERALLY MINUTES – of absent-mindedly accepting a request.
It said this:

God, I have so many issues with this.
Even the first paragraph pisses me off.
Yes … I do mind them asking me that question. Any question.
I especially mind that they don’t give a fuck because they just launched into it anyway.
And then there’s a matter of that question.
That patronising, overly-simplistic, bullshit question that’s expressed with the sort of casual confidence of an arrogant junior planner who spouts all over Linkedin that they know the answers to why every brand is/isn’t successful, despite having never worked on them, their competitor or their category and yet they still don’t find that a hinderance to talking like they’re the CEO of the brand and their ‘newsletter’ [which claims to be read by people working at major brands, despite the fact it’s likely the intern] holds the secrets to untold fortune so you really should sign up for it NOW.
Breeeeeeeeathe.
And then after that question is their follow up ‘facts’.
And I haven’t even started on the fact what they’re saying is literally my job and frankly, its more insulting than the time I met Phoebe Philo of Celine fame wearing a T-shirt with my cats face on it. Despite her being a bloody awesome and beautiful cat.
I cannot tell you how much I hate this shit.
How over I am of all this bollocks.
Because while I’m all for people having a go, at least put in a bit of effort.
By all means fail gloriously but don’t do it because you’re lazy as fuck.
Jesus, I’m more professional than these fuckers.
Me.
And I went to a meeting with Phil Knight wearing a pair of Birkenstocks.
And as laughable as that, it’s still not as funny as getting an unsolicited email from someone proudly proclaiming they can help me get ‘a deeper understanding of my customers’ while inadvertently demonstrating how they have absolutely zero fucking understanding of the person they’ve just peddled their bullshit too.
Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Culture, Family, Jill, Love, Valentine's Day

So today is Valentine’s Day.
Also known as the florist industries ‘profit day’.
Now I’ve written a lot about Valentine’s Day over the years and it’s never been that positive. Namely because I think it has far more to do with fear than love. Hell, I even asked Jill to marry me a few days before Valentine’s Day because I didn’t want to be a victim of the marketing.
However I am conscious that my opinion is not everyone’s opinion and frankly, with all the shit going on in the World, Valentine’s Day is at least more positive than a bunch of things going on out there – despite the undertones of fear – so with that, I thought I’d link to 3 posts that I think embody the true meaning of love.
At least to me.
And what is even more scary is I’m not being sarcastic.
So with that, let me introduce you to some love stories that I connect to.
First the beautiful romance of Martin and Mercedes, then the story of Arthur Thomas and how love can last beyond a lifetime. And finally, Dan Aykroyd and his acknowledgement that even when love rips you apart, you can want the other person to be happy and hope they know how you will be forever grateful for what you had and what they made you feel.
Just for the record, I was going to link to a post about my parents and my love for Jill – but the former felt a bit too indulgent and the latter would mean upsetting Jill as she hates being mentioned on here [for obvious reasons] so I just hope she knows she is my bloody everything and I’d be lost without her.
I appreciate this is strangely positive for me, so let’s just double down on it by saying that whatever your situation, I hope today is one filled with good things, even if that’s positive memories of past love.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
Except to the florist and card industry – those money-grabbing, exploitative fucks.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Colenso, Comment, Confidence, Culture, New Zealand

Late last year, I talked about a photo I was sent from when I was much younger.
I talked about how I looked like the mass murderer Chopper Read and that it scared the hell out of me because while I never was a looker – bar the photo above, on my first day at ‘big school’, albeit with a ‘school badge’ on my jacket that was the size of Africa – I never realised I was that visually challenged.
On one side that is to be expected, because there is a huge amount of research that has identified that our brain is designed to protect us from harmful truth – hence ‘rose tinted glasses’ is not purely delusional, but also biological – but still, it was pretty confronting.
However, once the initial shock passed, it was kind-of liberating because when you know that your youth wasn’t your golden age, you don’t really care about all that stuff and then you can embrace who you want to be rather than feel oppressed by who society expects you to be.
Which is my way of explaining – and justifying – why I recently went to work dressed like this …

I should point out that I thought I was going as Patrick Star … a character from SpongeBob SquarePants, however seeing this photo, I realise I went as the Pornhub version, because I am a giant penis.
I appreciate many of you have long thought I was a dickhead, but my god – this is bad.
HR violation bad … made worse by the purple ‘cow print’ lower half which, in a certain light, looks a big like old man testicles.
That said, I went to great effort to colour code my footwear to my outfit with pink socks and yellow Jordan’s, which may be the first time in my history I have been so co-ordinated. Just a shame I decided to save it for the time I dressed as the biggest dick since Elon Musk.
So to my colleagues, I wish to publicly apologise and – in my defence – point them to this post, to explain how they are really all to blame for this alarming lack of judgement.
Have a good day … that is, if you can burn that image from your mind.


