Relationships Build Business Better Than Models …
December 12, 2024, 7:15 am
Filed under:
A Bit Of Inspiration,
Attitude & Aptitude,
Authenticity,
Billionaire,
Business,
Colleagues,
Comment,
Contribution,
Creativity,
Culture,
Distinction,
Effectiveness,
Emotion,
Empathy,
Equality,
Imagination,
Leadership,
Loyalty,
Management,
Marketing,
Relationships,
Relevance,
Reputation,
Resonance,
Sentimentality,
Success,
Teamwork

After the joy of yesterday’s post – which is more because of Otis celebrating his 10th birthday than anything I wrote – I thought I’d seize the good vibes by writing possibly the longest post I’ve ever written in the near 2 decades of writing this rubbish.
Of course I don’t assume anyone will read it – because who reads any of my stuff anyhow – but it is about an important lesson I learned recently and I wanted to document it – for me, if no one else.
So, one of the private clients I work with is worth an inconceivable amount of cash.
As in billions of dollars. Tens of them in fact.
Now I totally agree that having that amount of money is obscene, but what makes it easier – at least for me – is that:
They’re entirely self-made. They’re a true entrepreneur … taking on all the risk, rather than expecting others to cover it. They’re a patron and advocate for creativity. Not just in terms of their business, but creativity as a whole.
And if you think this all reads as being very ‘corporate toady’, you’d be right … because I am most definitely a fan.
But what’s interesting is how they make their money. Or should I say, how they create the conditions to be able to.
A few weeks ago, they asked me if I could fly to another country to meet someone for dinner.
Not just any person, but a bona-fide superstar. And no, I am not being hyperbolic.
Now there’s obviously a backstory as to how I found myself in this situation and why I was asked to do this by my client rather than [1] them or [2] someone more obvious and suitable – and the reason for it is more bonkers than you could imagine – but within a couple weeks, there I was, sitting opposite this world famous star, chatting about life while trying to act like it was all completely normal for me.
Of course, the person in question had done their homework so knew this meeting was legit, but at one point, they asked why I thought they should consider it.
After reinforcing I was the last person they should listen to, I simply said this:
“All I can tell you is everything they’ve done – and do – is built on wanting a long term relationship not a short term, quick-win”.
That was it. That was all I had.
Now there were 2 reasons I explained it this way.
One is because it’s true and the other is I wanted to convey that their ‘business model’ is playing the long game because it would be easy to assume anyone worth that amount of cash must be ruthless in how they operate and that could be very off-putting for someone who values their creative freedom and integrity.
What I mean when I say ‘long game’ is they invest in the individual, rather than ‘short-term opportunities’ … which means they not only are they happy to give the artists/partners the creative freedom – and control – that made them want to work with them in the first place, but they also don’t expect or demand a return on their investment in the shortest time possible because they see this as a relationship that will be measured in years, not projects.
Now, of course, there is method to this ‘modern-business-practice’ madness.
First is they believe that by investing in trust, transparency and relationship consistency, everyone will achieve a much greater return over a much longer period of time. Secondly is they obviously have no problem in knowing how to make money out of what they do so they know they’re not going to lose out being patient. And to top it all off, they’ve done a similar thing with many other high-profile celebrities/partners which – as they are all still engaged and involved years later – kind of proves they mean what they say.
Which leads to the point of this post.
Relationships matter.

I’m not talking about the sort where one person serves the whims and demands of another – which is how a lot of business today operates, especially in adland – but the type where the relationship acknowledges and values the skills, talent and benefits that each person brings to the table.
No short-changing or undermining. No downgrading or threatening. A relationship where the focus is on ‘what we can make create together’ rather than ‘what I you make out of you’.
How refreshing eh?
Except it shouldn’t be … it should be obvious, however thanks to procurement departments and corporate short-termism – we don’t see a lot of it these days.
At best, it’s a quick collab. At worst, its commercial exploitation.
In this case, my client wanted to work with this individual because they believe in them.
They like what they do.
They believe in how they think.
They’re excited by what can be made possible if they enable them to express their creativity at a different scale and through different art-forms than the ones they normally operate in.
But what makes this work is their appreciation of the artists mind.
The vulnerability of the creative process.
The need to explore before you commit.
The acknowledgement that when you try to create something no one has done before, it will fail before it wins.
And they’re there for it.
All of it.
They understand that to get to something great, the first step is to create an environment of encouragement and faith. Not just at the beginning of the process … but ongoing. Over and over again.
That doesn’t mean you pander. Nor does it mean you hold your opinions to yourself. But it does means you start off from a position of true alignment. Not just in terms of what your hopes and ambitions are, but how you want to realise them in terms of approach, expectations and responsibilities. Meaning everything you do comes from a position of shared responsibility and authority.
The other element is they also understand the adage of ‘it’s business, not personal’ is bullshit.
Business is personal.
Always.
The people who try to claim it isn’t are trying to justify bullshit behaviour.
It’s why my client spends a lot of their time connecting and committing to the other person. To make sure they’re not just in it together, but feel it.
Does that make ‘personal’ approach make things challenging at times?
Probably.
However by ensuring transparency and clarity from the beginning of the relationship – they not only build a relationship based on openness and honesty, they ensure the barriers that often get in the way of focusing on doing great things, get removed.
It all makes perfect sense, except we live in times where people choose to ignore it.
Preferring to optimise interactions.
To put themselves in positioning of authority.
To approach the relationship in terms of ‘what I can get out of them for the least amount of effort or loss of power’.
We’ve all met people like that.

Over the years I’ve had a bunch of people I’ve not heard from in years – or [thanks to Linkedin] never heard from in my life – get in contact wanting me to do something for them and I can literally feel the distain when I tell them, “I’m so sorry, I won’t be able to do that for you”.
I should clarify I have always tried to help people who ask for it … especially in terms of advice or a listening ear. However, when their ask is for me to connect them to friends, colleagues or clients for a shortcut to personal gain … unless they’re an old friend or someone I’ve had a long and personal experience of working with/alongside, they can fuck off.
It might sound harsh but I learned this the hard way.
One person in particular did this to me for a few times.
Continually contacting me under the guise of connecting with me but really wanting me to do something for them.
Contacts.
Introductions.
Feedback and advice.
And I did it, until I stopped.
Because I finally realised they were never contacting me for any other reason than to get something from me. They never just got in contact just to say hi. They never told me how my friends/colleagues had helped them. They never got back in touch to ‘ask me’ the questions they claimed they wanted to know – mainly because that was their ruse to get me to help them with other introductions.
I felt a bit stupid it took me so long, but I got there. And I cut them out my life because who needs that toxic shit.
And I get that sounds harsh, but I don’t care … especially as they still tried to use me until when the point they realised I wasn’t going to … so they went on a public rant about me that reinforced their ego, delusion and fragility.
Which gets to the final point of this post …

The word relationship is badly used, mis-defined and treated with ignorant flippancy.
It’s not about interactions or benefits, it’s about generosity, openness, understanding and trust.
You build it over time by investing and putting time into it.
Time to listen, share, discuss, engage, and give a shit.
It’s an act of consistency, equality and consideration … through good and bad.
And while I appreciate in these optimised, maximised, never-stray-from-the-process-or-rules, big-yourself-up-at-all-costs times, that may sound inefficient … but I have first hand proof, it’s much more effective.
In fact, it’s more effective than every marketing guru with their proprietary process/hyped-up, self-serving academic ‘degree’ – can ever imagine, let alone deliver.
Waving To The Comet …
December 10, 2024, 8:15 am
Filed under:
Australia,
Authenticity,
Colenso,
Colleagues,
Comment,
Creativity,
Culture,
Dad,
Death,
Emotion,
Family,
Fatherhood,
Friendship,
HSBC,
Love,
Loyalty,
Management,
Relationships,
Relevance,
Reputation,
Resonance,
Respect

As you read this, I am in Sydney for the memorial of Lisa – the wonderful client who tragically died recently.
It is believed there will be a lot of people attending.
I mean 4-figure levels of attendees … which is testimony to the impact she made on people.
While I didn’t know her long, we bonded pretty deeply and I saw first hand her ability to connect to people. It was in many ways, her superpower. Not in the sense it was some sort of manipulative trick, but in the sense she saw the good in others and wanted to help them realise it in ways they may not have seen was possible.
But she did it time and time again.
Different people.
Different cities.
Different jobs.
We need more people like that.
People who give rather than just take.
People who share rather than just keep.
People who view success as helping others achieve, not just elevating their own glory.
But what made her truly special was that she didn’t play down to populism, she lived up to a standard.
She wanted to do great, she wanted others to be great and she had the experience and taste to know what both were.
That’s the essential ingredient missing from so many people in the industry – especially the Linkedin guru’s – but she had it in her droves.
I’m still utterly distraught about her passing. We all are.
She didn’t just make the work better, she made you want to be better and as talents go, that’s a pretty amazing one.
Relationships are strange.
You can know some people for decades and not really be impacted by their presence and there’s some you can meet for what seems like a moment in time, and be impacted by them for years. Decades even.
Lisa was in the latter and that’s why, from a purely selfish level, I feel robbed.
Robbed of the time I was going to have with her.
Robbed of the conversations and lessons I’d have learned with her.
Robbed of the possibilities and opportunities I’d have created with her.
I appreciate it feels crass to say this when there are people who have lost so much more with her passing. My intention is not to offend and if I’ve done that, I apologies wholeheartedly. This is just my very clumsy attempt to say that if Lisa could make a relative stranger feel so strongly towards her – as a person and a professional – in just 4 short months, then I cannot imagine the sense of loss the people who knew her … worked with her … and loved her for much longer are feeling.
And to them, I offer my deepest and sincerest condolences.
She may be gone, but my god … she won’t be forgotten.
I’m back tomorrow to celebrate my dear Otis’ 10th birthday.
Death and birth …
A reminder the circle of life is real, even if it feels cruel.
And with that, I say goodbye and thank you to Lisa.
For everything you did and all that you were.
I feel very fortunate to have known you.
Rx
Ambiguous Mediocrity …
December 9, 2024, 6:15 am
Filed under:
A Bit Of Inspiration,
Agency Culture,
Apathy,
Attitude & Aptitude,
Authenticity,
Comment,
Complicity,
Corporate Evil,
Creative Development,
Creativity,
Culture,
Marketing,
Marketing Fail,
Mediocrity,
Relevance,
Reputation,
Research,
Resonance,
Respect
This is a month or so old, but I am finding it impossible to get out of my mind.
Like a car crash. Which this is.
Have a look at this.

What you’re seeing is part of a research report a company put out recently in NZ.
Look at it. Look!
This is where a bunch of ‘for profit’ research companies are these days … spouting ambiguous rubbish that [I assume] they believe is insight gold.
What makes it worse is some companies will no doubt have read this … been amazed by it … and then paid them handsomely for more of this … resulting in everyone [and I mean everyone, bar the company flogging it] losing.
Not just losing in the present, but in the future.
Which begs the question, how bad/ignorant/blinkered/out-of-touch are some organisations that they’re ‘informed’ by this? Worse … how bad/ignorant/blinkered/out-of-touch are some organisations that they’re satisfied with this level of superficiality?
For me, this sort of thing is an act of social criminality.
Actually, that’s not harsh enough, it’s an act of commercial criminality.
And the reason people are getting away with it is because too many companies have leadership who value ‘scalable convenient answers’ rather than truth, context and real commercial understanding. Only wanting news that paints them and their plans in the most positive light, regardless of what the reality may be. In other words, they seek ‘information’ that feeds and/or reinforces their God-complex … and far too many companies are happy to oblige because it’s an extremely profitable business approach for them.
But even this isn’t enough for some, with many now aspiring to become their clients strategic consultancy … meaning the work they do is as much about their future as their clients … and that’s why I’m so grateful for the researchers and research companies who believe in the craft, role and truth of the discipline.
The people who want to reveal rather than package-up.
Who see people as more than just walking wallets.
Who understand nuance rather than the optimisisation of efficiency
[to maximise their own profitability].
Who look for the why, not just the what.
Who are more interesting in exploring truth than flogging their ‘proprietary system’ … which more often than not, involves using bots and AI that are – to paraphrase Top Gun – are writing cheques reality can’t cash.
In other words, I’m grateful for people/companies like Ruby Pseudo, ON ROAD and a few others who play up to a standard not down to a convenience.
Research is important as hell, but only if it’s good research and there’s far too much out there being peddled that falls far short of that standard. And that’s why the discipline – and us, as an industry as a whole – need to expect more, demand more and most importantly, respect real stuff more. Because witnessing mediocrity is one thing, but when we let it undermine what we do – and can do – is another thing altogether.
Why We Need To Remember Growing Old Does Not Mean Stop Growing …

Coming to the end of the year is always a time for reflection.
This has been an interesting year for me … with more highs than lows, but the lows have been very low.
Getting older is often about that.
For all the ‘retirement’ cliches of ‘living your best life’, the reality is it is about transitioning to a new life.
One where your value and experience is no longer deemed important by the very industry who helped you define your value and experience.
It doesn’t just reinforce the narrowing of opportunity; it reinforces the sense of being discarded. Thrown aside. Left to be taken by the earth.
It’s a pretty good metaphor for the other thing you are exposed more to …
Death.
Of people you know, friends you had, colleagues you worked with.
Some the same age as you.
Let me tell you, nothing fucks you up like seeing people you grew up with start to die.
Hell, when I was younger, I thought it was crazy I knew people who were turning 40 … but death is a whole other level of age acceptance.
So let’s be real here … growing older sucks, but as my Mum taught me, age feeds on attitude and so who you are is ultimately determined by how you live.
Look, I know I’m not going to be going out all night and rolling in at 6am before going straight into the office. But that doesn’t mean my mind has to go to bed with a cup of hot cocoa and a hot water bottle at 8pm either.
You’re as old as the limits of your curiosity.
Not liking something doesn’t mean you shouldn’t bother knowing about something. Just like not knowing about something doesn’t mean you should close your mind off to wanting to explore and investigate what’s going on.
As my Mum also taught me, ‘being interested in what others are interested in’ is one of the greatest gifts you can have.
And I am … and I have to say, I bloody love it
Doesn’t mean I always understand what’s going on.
Doesn’t mean I always agree with what’s going on.
Doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate the privilege I have in being able to do it.
But it does mean I know that I am always better for the simple act of being exposed to it.
Talking of exposure …
It seems the desire to be exposed to things is dying.
Instead of exploration into the unknown, people prefer curating.
Living life through a metaphorical ‘greatest hits’ playlist rather than losing themselves in the deep cuts and histories.
Hey, that’s their choice and I respect that … but not only does it mean they miss out on the nuance, they never understand how people got to where they’re at.
Or where they may be heading.
It’s why I find it funny when I hear so many people talk about ‘culture’ without ever realizing what it means.
Thinking it’s all about knowing what’s going on rather than understanding where it’s taking us.
Looking down rather than up.
Looking narrow rather than broad.
Only focusing on the present rather than future.
Or having an appreciation of the past.
I swear this attitude is a deliberate act.
A choice to save themselves from having to face their increasing irrelevance.
A decision designed to protect their ego, knowledge and importance.
Of course, this is ironic as fuck given the absolute fastest way to being left behind is to choose to put on your blinkers.
But I get it … fuck, I’ve had to deal with this reality for years and in no way am I saying I’ve got all my shit together, the thing I know is while we’re all part of culture, sailing through it isn’t the same as swimming in it.
So while I get the energy to swim lessens the older you get, the reality is age has nothing to do with relevance. What it’s really about is whether you’re comfortable being uncomfortable or you want the cosy-zone.
And while it’s OK to choose the latter, doing this not only limits who you are, it limits who you can become.
Whether you’re 24 or 54.
Which is why the older I get, the more I understand something my Dad used to tell me:
“Get the most out of life or life will take the most out of you”.
It’s Not Hidden In Plain Sight, It’s Your Sight That Is Hidden. [Be A Viewfinder Not A Screen]
December 3, 2024, 7:15 am
Filed under:
A Bit Of Inspiration,
America,
Attitude & Aptitude,
Camera,
Colleagues,
Creativity,
Culture,
Curiosity,
Emotion,
Empathy,
Fast Food,
New Zealand,
Perspective,
Photography,
Planners,
Planning,
Relevance,
Resonance,
Social Divide

A few weeks ago, I bought a camera.
To be honest, I never imagined I’d buy one again … but after my ridiculous 12 US/Canadian cities in 12 day tour, where 2 of my colleagues were using one, I realised the images they captured felt – not just looked -better than the images I’d taken on my, albeit impressive, iPhone 16 pro.
So I off I went and got one.
A compact SONY one.
And it’s lovely.
But while it has features galore – features I’ll never know, let alone use – it has the 2 things I wanted most.
1. A viewfinder.
2. A good lens.
The viewfinder became strangely important to me.
Sure, the camera has a big LCD screen I could use, but the viewfinder forces me to focus – literally and metaphorically.
The viewfinder demands I am present … insists I am aware of the moment I want to capture, even if it is for as long as it takes me to press the shutter.
It’s been wonderful because on top of everything else it’s let me experience, it’s reminded me the value – and importance – of patience and sacrifice.
The ability to be able to wait for what I want, rather than get whenever I can have.
God, I sound like the most spoilt only child don’t I … but in this technological world, abundance is at our fingertips. And while that can also happen with a digital camera, the viewfinder tempts you to play by its rules rather than have you make it adhere to yours.
And you know what? It makes you notice more.
Despite being closed off from the world when you look through the viewfinder, your eye sees more.
More of your context.
More of what you’re surrounded by.
More of what draws your attention and emotion.
The photo above is an example of that …
[You can see it in all its glory, here]
I took it on one of my daily evening walks..
I really like the way the Macca’s ‘M’ is peeping above the tree. As if it is ashamed to be seen near the KFC logo. Like it’s trying to hide from view. Worried how it must look to passers-by.
It’s different to how this scene would look if it was in America.
There, fast-food logos are all chest out, screaming “look at me … I’m important”.
A tussle for attention.
But where I live in NZ, it’s a bit different.
Not just because NZ is a very different place to America – though if truth be told, NZ bloody LOVES fast-food – but because these places only opened about a year ago.
Where I live it’s all family restaurants and small businesses, so when Maccas and KFC turned up, the kids in the neighbourhood saw it as the ultimate symbol of ‘progress’. Hell, the Maccas is open 24 hours – which even by general NZ standards – is a revelation.
And maybe that’s what I love about the photo …
The way it captures the tension of change.
Showcasing how fast food restaurants try to look like part of the community it invades.
Wanting to fit in but unable to help itself in wanting to tempt people into its temptations.
The bright coloured logos standing out against the evening blue sky.
I’ve probably passed this location at least 50 times, probably more … but I only noticed what it says about where I live, today.
Because of a viewfinder.
And a camera that doesn’t just let more light in, but also the imperfections.
Because vision isn’t about the ability to see everything, it’s the ability to notice what matters.
Which is a pretty good metaphor for both the art of strategy and the true definition of creativity.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Billionaire, Business, Colleagues, Comment, Contribution, Creativity, Culture, Distinction, Effectiveness, Emotion, Empathy, Equality, Imagination, Leadership, Loyalty, Management, Marketing, Relationships, Relevance, Reputation, Resonance, Sentimentality, Success, Teamwork
After the joy of yesterday’s post – which is more because of Otis celebrating his 10th birthday than anything I wrote – I thought I’d seize the good vibes by writing possibly the longest post I’ve ever written in the near 2 decades of writing this rubbish.
Of course I don’t assume anyone will read it – because who reads any of my stuff anyhow – but it is about an important lesson I learned recently and I wanted to document it – for me, if no one else.
So, one of the private clients I work with is worth an inconceivable amount of cash.
As in billions of dollars. Tens of them in fact.
Now I totally agree that having that amount of money is obscene, but what makes it easier – at least for me – is that:
They’re entirely self-made. They’re a true entrepreneur … taking on all the risk, rather than expecting others to cover it. They’re a patron and advocate for creativity. Not just in terms of their business, but creativity as a whole.
And if you think this all reads as being very ‘corporate toady’, you’d be right … because I am most definitely a fan.
But what’s interesting is how they make their money. Or should I say, how they create the conditions to be able to.
A few weeks ago, they asked me if I could fly to another country to meet someone for dinner.
Not just any person, but a bona-fide superstar. And no, I am not being hyperbolic.
Now there’s obviously a backstory as to how I found myself in this situation and why I was asked to do this by my client rather than [1] them or [2] someone more obvious and suitable – and the reason for it is more bonkers than you could imagine – but within a couple weeks, there I was, sitting opposite this world famous star, chatting about life while trying to act like it was all completely normal for me.
Of course, the person in question had done their homework so knew this meeting was legit, but at one point, they asked why I thought they should consider it.
After reinforcing I was the last person they should listen to, I simply said this:
“All I can tell you is everything they’ve done – and do – is built on wanting a long term relationship not a short term, quick-win”.
That was it. That was all I had.
Now there were 2 reasons I explained it this way.
One is because it’s true and the other is I wanted to convey that their ‘business model’ is playing the long game because it would be easy to assume anyone worth that amount of cash must be ruthless in how they operate and that could be very off-putting for someone who values their creative freedom and integrity.
What I mean when I say ‘long game’ is they invest in the individual, rather than ‘short-term opportunities’ … which means they not only are they happy to give the artists/partners the creative freedom – and control – that made them want to work with them in the first place, but they also don’t expect or demand a return on their investment in the shortest time possible because they see this as a relationship that will be measured in years, not projects.
Now, of course, there is method to this ‘modern-business-practice’ madness.
First is they believe that by investing in trust, transparency and relationship consistency, everyone will achieve a much greater return over a much longer period of time. Secondly is they obviously have no problem in knowing how to make money out of what they do so they know they’re not going to lose out being patient. And to top it all off, they’ve done a similar thing with many other high-profile celebrities/partners which – as they are all still engaged and involved years later – kind of proves they mean what they say.
Which leads to the point of this post.
Relationships matter.
I’m not talking about the sort where one person serves the whims and demands of another – which is how a lot of business today operates, especially in adland – but the type where the relationship acknowledges and values the skills, talent and benefits that each person brings to the table.
No short-changing or undermining. No downgrading or threatening. A relationship where the focus is on ‘what we can make create together’ rather than ‘what I you make out of you’.
How refreshing eh?
Except it shouldn’t be … it should be obvious, however thanks to procurement departments and corporate short-termism – we don’t see a lot of it these days.
At best, it’s a quick collab. At worst, its commercial exploitation.
In this case, my client wanted to work with this individual because they believe in them.
They like what they do.
They believe in how they think.
They’re excited by what can be made possible if they enable them to express their creativity at a different scale and through different art-forms than the ones they normally operate in.
But what makes this work is their appreciation of the artists mind.
The vulnerability of the creative process.
The need to explore before you commit.
The acknowledgement that when you try to create something no one has done before, it will fail before it wins.
And they’re there for it.
All of it.
They understand that to get to something great, the first step is to create an environment of encouragement and faith. Not just at the beginning of the process … but ongoing. Over and over again.
That doesn’t mean you pander. Nor does it mean you hold your opinions to yourself. But it does means you start off from a position of true alignment. Not just in terms of what your hopes and ambitions are, but how you want to realise them in terms of approach, expectations and responsibilities. Meaning everything you do comes from a position of shared responsibility and authority.
The other element is they also understand the adage of ‘it’s business, not personal’ is bullshit.
Business is personal.
Always.
The people who try to claim it isn’t are trying to justify bullshit behaviour.
It’s why my client spends a lot of their time connecting and committing to the other person. To make sure they’re not just in it together, but feel it.
Does that make ‘personal’ approach make things challenging at times?
Probably.
However by ensuring transparency and clarity from the beginning of the relationship – they not only build a relationship based on openness and honesty, they ensure the barriers that often get in the way of focusing on doing great things, get removed.
It all makes perfect sense, except we live in times where people choose to ignore it.
Preferring to optimise interactions.
To put themselves in positioning of authority.
To approach the relationship in terms of ‘what I can get out of them for the least amount of effort or loss of power’.
We’ve all met people like that.
Over the years I’ve had a bunch of people I’ve not heard from in years – or [thanks to Linkedin] never heard from in my life – get in contact wanting me to do something for them and I can literally feel the distain when I tell them, “I’m so sorry, I won’t be able to do that for you”.
I should clarify I have always tried to help people who ask for it … especially in terms of advice or a listening ear. However, when their ask is for me to connect them to friends, colleagues or clients for a shortcut to personal gain … unless they’re an old friend or someone I’ve had a long and personal experience of working with/alongside, they can fuck off.
It might sound harsh but I learned this the hard way.
One person in particular did this to me for a few times.
Continually contacting me under the guise of connecting with me but really wanting me to do something for them.
Contacts.
Introductions.
Feedback and advice.
And I did it, until I stopped.
Because I finally realised they were never contacting me for any other reason than to get something from me. They never just got in contact just to say hi. They never told me how my friends/colleagues had helped them. They never got back in touch to ‘ask me’ the questions they claimed they wanted to know – mainly because that was their ruse to get me to help them with other introductions.
I felt a bit stupid it took me so long, but I got there. And I cut them out my life because who needs that toxic shit.
And I get that sounds harsh, but I don’t care … especially as they still tried to use me until when the point they realised I wasn’t going to … so they went on a public rant about me that reinforced their ego, delusion and fragility.
Which gets to the final point of this post …
The word relationship is badly used, mis-defined and treated with ignorant flippancy.
It’s not about interactions or benefits, it’s about generosity, openness, understanding and trust.
You build it over time by investing and putting time into it.
Time to listen, share, discuss, engage, and give a shit.
It’s an act of consistency, equality and consideration … through good and bad.
And while I appreciate in these optimised, maximised, never-stray-from-the-process-or-rules, big-yourself-up-at-all-costs times, that may sound inefficient … but I have first hand proof, it’s much more effective.
In fact, it’s more effective than every marketing guru with their proprietary process/hyped-up, self-serving academic ‘degree’ – can ever imagine, let alone deliver.