The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

I know … I know … you’ve known this for years, but I genuinely didn’t.

Sure, I got I was opinionated, persistent and refused to accept someone’s opinion I disagreed with – even if they were senior or important – but my intentions were always for good.

Good for the work.
Good for the audience.
Good for the clients ambition.

That didn’t mean I always pulled it off – after all, I have a spectacular track record for disaster and stupidity in the quest for doing something brilliant – but it did mean I always gave my all, learnt from [most] of my mistakes and pushed myself to keep finding ways to be original.

And yet, despite that, I still couldn’t help being a cheeky bastard.

Or – in the words of Andy and countless other colleagues and clients – an annoying bastard.

Talks.
Articles.
Client presentations.

You name it, I would find a way to mess with it.

Never maliciously … but because I hate the industries pomposity.

I should point out that doesn’t mean I don’t take what I do seriously.

Nor does it mean I don’t respect the industry that I have worked in my entire career.

It’s simply that I don’t think I have to take myself so seriously in doing it.

Now at 52 you’d think I’d have got my shit together.

But I don’t. In fact, I was recently called by the management of Metallica, ‘resistant to maturity’.

I think they meant it as a compliment … I mean, they renewed my contract again. But while I do believe that there is some benefit to not taking everything so seriously – both attitudinally, creatively and enabling a team to feel free from judgement – I also now appreciate it can be fucking annoying as well.

Which is all my way of highlighting the 2 articles that helped me see what a pain in the ass I may be.

Yes … yes … I appreciate this should have been obvious ages ago.

After all, I once was quoted as saying ‘wank’ on the front page of Campaign … closely followed by me saying I was an ‘annoying’ prick’. And then Campaign got in the act by accusing me of having an affair with a reindeer. But despite that and – let’s be honest – a fuckton of other episodes, including getting drunk on cough sweets and then inadvertently insulting a client [Sorry Lee], I was still none the wiser.

First is this in Little Black Book … where they asked a few planners to comment on some research about people’s habits/trends in Australia.

When it came out, I read it and saw all the other planners being thoughtful and considerate, whereas I go in with 2 guns blazing, blatantly taking the piss out of the whole premise and approach of the research.

Nice one Rob.

In my defence, I did think the research was questionable … both in terms of approach and in findings … but I could definitely of handled my response with a greater level of professionalism, let alone maturity.

And yet it gets worse …

You see every year, BBDO global do some sort of questionnaire to strategists about the trends they think they’ll see coming in the upcoming year.

While Colenso is part of BBDO, we never think – or act – as if we are and, to be fair to BBDO, they never ask us to be and generally leave us alone.

This is all my way of trying to explain why I used a tone in my answers that sounds so piss-takey you’d imagine they’d want to have me buried in a dark whole, let alone my answers.

And yet they then went and ran it all over social channels.

All. Over.

Which means I admire their lack of judgement but question their standards.

Unless, of course, it was an attempt to get me sacked … which would totally make sense.

I So to anyone I’ve ever worked with – or for – I am sorry.

I know it’s too late.

I know I should have known.

I know I’m not going to change.

But – finally – I appreciate I am a fucking nightmare.