Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Audio Visual, Bangkok Shakes, Creativity, Music, Nottingham
So recently I went into a local cafe near the village that I live in to get a coffee.
As I walked in, I saw this …
When I saw it, I couldn’t help think about this scene – at 2 minutes 40 seconds – from the brilliant rockumentary, Spinal Tap.
What happens to their till when you use your phone?
Does it start coming up with random prices?
Does it write 54377017 … only the oldies will get that reference.
Bizarrely, I followed orders and didn’t use my phone for anything other than taking that photo … possibly because the Spinal Tap situation happened to me once.
Bangkok Shakes were playing a gig at a venue called The Mill, in Nottingham.
Carlsboro Sound had lent me their latest wireless guitar system to try out on stage and I was so excited about it … or I was until it picked up and broadcast the local taxi firm radio conversations.
Never used it again.
Which all goes to say Spinal Tap isn’t a comedy, it’s a documentary.
Filed under: Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Brand Suicide, Communication Strategy, Crap Campaigns In History, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail
Watch this.
Watch it all the way through.
And if you can genuinely guess who it’s for before the end – or even which category – then you are either an absolutely twisted bastard or … nope, just a twisted bastard.
Did you?
If you didn’t, go back and do it.
EVERY SECOND OF IT.
Seriously, what the fucking fuck eh?
I mean, maybe it could be a contrived bank ad.
Or some bullshit life insurance company.
But Subway.
SUBWAY!!!???
That said, I do admire how they identified and expressed so many of the little things young boys do as they grow up.
Not necessarily the perv stuff, but definitely the hygienically questionable.
Which is appropriate, given this 2016 piece from Brazil, is definitely questionable.
I can’t help but feel the people behind this, should have studied this chart before they went off and made this piece of insanity.
Seriously, this is the sort of stuff that gives advertising people a bad name.
That we’re out of touch and out of our minds.
And not in a good way.
Thank god we have Uncommon’s brilliant B&Q work to remind people we can be good. We can be really, really good.
Or how people of a certain age react to having a £1 Viennetta after 25 years.
But my god, this Subway ‘thing’ is bad.
Like destroy-the-industry bad.
And while I appreciate different cultures have different ways of communicating. And brands can be seen very differently by different cultures … this is Subway.
The 6″/Foot long sandwich makers.
There’s no place in the World where they are considered servants to humanities quest for progress and understanding. Though I must admit I would love to shake the hand of whoever sold this Subway idea to the client – as well as the client who approved it.
Not because I want to congratulate them on pulling off something so stupid, but because I want to wish them luck trying to get their next job.
Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Communication Strategy, Culture, Emotion, Family, Freddie, Friendship, Fulfillment, Honesty, Love
Yes, it’s another Kev Chesters influenced post.
However, where yesterday was on the power of eating a Viennetta with a teaspoon, this is a bit more intellectually valuable.
Just.
To be fair, Kev didn’t even write this, but I saw him post it and I thought it was great … albeit I doubt anyone really thinks this intensely about who they classify as a friend. Which might be the reason we get let down by so many of them, ha.
I remember years ago reading a story about the guy Mr Big – from Sex & The City – was based on.
He had been diagnosed with cancer – terminal cancer – and he talked about how, or more specifically, who he chose to spend the limited time left with.
In essence, he drew a giant dart board and placed him at the bullseye. From there, he systematically plotted where all the people in his life were, in relation to the centre.
Anyone outside of the core ring was told that as much as he appreciated them and knew they would like to see him, he was going to spend his remaining time with others – the ones closest to the bullseye.
It might sound harsh but nothing focuses the mind like limitation of time and when you think of the amount of energy we spend/waste on individuals or activities that are really nothing more than ‘playing the game’ rather than being emotionally fulfilling, maybe this is something we should all be thinking about doing.
Which leads to the piece Kev wrote.
I don’t know if I’d ever practice it, but it’s an interesting way to evaluate things …
Filed under: Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Childhood, Chocolate, Comment, Context, Craft, Crap Products In History, Culture, Emotion, Family, Fatherhood, Jill, Love, Otis, Parents, Premium
I remember when the ice cream above first came out.
It was 1982 and it was like nothing I’d ever seen before.
For a start it was sold as a lump of ice cream.
Oh no, Viennetta was a ‘dessert-cake’ … a blend of sophistication and excellence, crafted by experts for the most special of occasions.
I wanted to try it soooooo badly, but I remember having to wait an age before I could … but as it was light years from any other ice cream I’d ever had, when I finally got it in my gob, it absolutely lived up to the anticipation.
38 years later, and I know this ‘sophisticated dessert cake’ is only £1 at the local Co-op – which means it’s about as sophisticated as an episode of Tipping Point – however it still feels like I’m having a very, very special ice-cream experience whenever I have one. Which isn’t often because somehow, I still think it is only for rare occasions of celebration.
What’s interesting is that when I had it, I posted a photo on instagram and the response was of equal adoration.
And then people went into celebrating other low-rent, mainstream shite we thought was the height of sophistication.
Like After Eight Mints.
Or Ice Magic … the sauce you poured on to your shitty Asda vanilla ice cream [or Neopolitan, if your Mum and Dad were feeling extravagant] that then TRANSFORMED INTO A SOLID LAYER OF CHOCOLATE TO ELEVATE YOUR SHITTY ICE CREAM EXPERIENCE.
Incredible.
But of all the comments I got, my fave was from Kev Chesters with this …
And while I loved it for a whole host of reasons, the main one was his order of using a teaspoon.
Not a dessert spoon.
Not a table spoon. [Though this might be the same as a dessert spoon]
But a teaspoon.
Because regardless how old you are.
Regardless how many Viennetta’s you could buy and eat.
A teaspoon was the psychological way of making your favourite desserts last longer.
Smaller spoon.
Smaller amounts of food on it.
More spoonfuls to enjoy.
I still do it and it made my day to know Kev did too.
Which all should act as a reminder that advertising is an incredibly powerful force … especially when it’s targeting people who know no better but dream of being more than they think they will end up being.
Thank you Viennetta. For the memories, the experience and the taste.
Filed under: Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Corporate Evil, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Marketing Fail
Recently, I received this …
There’s all manner of reasons why this was a surprise to me.
First is the fact that they think my recommendation would do anything positive for their business.
Especially when the reality is it likely would do the opposite.
Then there’s the fact that in the email, they open the door to the possibility I had a bad experience with them. While I accept their attempt to ‘make it good’ is smart, it also means they didn’t specifically choose me as a client of repute, it means they’ve blanket emailed everyone and anyone they can think of.
Which leads to the last – and main – reason receiving this email was a surprise to me.
And that’s the fact I’ve never heard of this company.
More than that, I’ve never rented a teleprompter in my life.
Anyone who has ever seen me present – ie: ramble like a madman – would know this first hand, which means the reason I got this email is because I appear on some weird business database they bought.
So while I would like to help a small business, if they’re looking for shortcuts to success, then they need to know this sort of approach tends to make people enemies rather than friends.
Sorry Teleprompter Rental, maybe you need to change your own script.