Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Age, Attitude & Aptitude, Childhood, Creativity, Mum & Dad, Parents
Coming to the end of the year is always a time for reflection.
This has been an interesting year for me … with more highs than lows, but the lows have been very low.
Getting older is often about that.
For all the ‘retirement’ cliches of ‘living your best life’, the reality is it is about transitioning to a new life.
One where your value and experience is no longer deemed important by the very industry who helped you define your value and experience.
It doesn’t just reinforce the narrowing of opportunity; it reinforces the sense of being discarded. Thrown aside. Left to be taken by the earth.
It’s a pretty good metaphor for the other thing you are exposed more to …
Death.
Of people you know, friends you had, colleagues you worked with.
Some the same age as you.
Let me tell you, nothing fucks you up like seeing people you grew up with start to die.
Hell, when I was younger, I thought it was crazy I knew people who were turning 40 … but death is a whole other level of age acceptance.
So let’s be real here … growing older sucks, but as my Mum taught me, age feeds on attitude and so who you are is ultimately determined by how you live.
Look, I know I’m not going to be going out all night and rolling in at 6am before going straight into the office. But that doesn’t mean my mind has to go to bed with a cup of hot cocoa and a hot water bottle at 8pm either.
You’re as old as the limits of your curiosity.
Not liking something doesn’t mean you shouldn’t bother knowing about something. Just like not knowing about something doesn’t mean you should close your mind off to wanting to explore and investigate what’s going on.
As my Mum also taught me, ‘being interested in what others are interested in’ is one of the greatest gifts you can have.
And I am … and I have to say, I bloody love it
Doesn’t mean I always understand what’s going on.
Doesn’t mean I always agree with what’s going on.
Doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate the privilege I have in being able to do it.
But it does mean I know that I am always better for the simple act of being exposed to it.
Talking of exposure …
It seems the desire to be exposed to things is dying.
Instead of exploration into the unknown, people prefer curating.
Living life through a metaphorical ‘greatest hits’ playlist rather than losing themselves in the deep cuts and histories.
Hey, that’s their choice and I respect that … but not only does it mean they miss out on the nuance, they never understand how people got to where they’re at.
Or where they may be heading.
It’s why I find it funny when I hear so many people talk about ‘culture’ without ever realizing what it means.
Thinking it’s all about knowing what’s going on rather than understanding where it’s taking us.
Looking down rather than up.
Looking narrow rather than broad.
Only focusing on the present rather than future.
Or having an appreciation of the past.
I swear this attitude is a deliberate act.
A choice to save themselves from having to face their increasing irrelevance.
A decision designed to protect their ego, knowledge and importance.
Of course, this is ironic as fuck given the absolute fastest way to being left behind is to choose to put on your blinkers.
But I get it … fuck, I’ve had to deal with this reality for years and in no way am I saying I’ve got all my shit together, the thing I know is while we’re all part of culture, sailing through it isn’t the same as swimming in it.
So while I get the energy to swim lessens the older you get, the reality is age has nothing to do with relevance. What it’s really about is whether you’re comfortable being uncomfortable or you want the cosy-zone.
And while it’s OK to choose the latter, doing this not only limits who you are, it limits who you can become.
Whether you’re 24 or 54.
Which is why the older I get, the more I understand something my Dad used to tell me:
“Get the most out of life or life will take the most out of you”.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Age, Agency Culture, Apathy, Aspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Delusion, Distinction, Diversity, Emotion, Inclusion, Love, Loyalty, Management, Marketing, Mum & Dad, Planners, Politics, Prejudice, Provocative, Relevance, Reputation, Resonance, Respect
I can’t believe next week we enter the final month of 2024.
How the hell did that happen?
My god, it’s been a whirlwind and while I’ll write my annual ‘wrap-up’ post in a few weeks, I have to say – bar three truly tragic events for me – a pretty good year.
I don’t take any of that for granted.
I know it could all fall apart in an instant.
Which may explain why I follow certain theories/behaviours/beliefs that – despite knowing they’re likely utter nonsense – help me feel I’m doing things that encourage ‘good stuff’ to happen for me and my family.
Or should I say, ‘extend’ the good stuff that my family get to enjoy.
That’s right, I’m talking about certain superstitions that I follow.
I won’t go into them in detail for fear of the men in the white suits popping around to put me in a jacket with no sleeves, but on top of working hard, doing what I promise and staying interested and open to stuff … they heavily influence and drive my actions and behaviours in equal measure.
Now I should point out the driving force of this is less about maintaining an income [though that is there, of course] and more about satisfying my curiosity and hunger.
You see, despite being 54, I’m still fiercely ambitious and hungry to do new, exciting and good things. In fact – given the stuff I’ve been fortunate to do over the past few years with moving countries and working with artists in the music, fashion and gaming industries – even more ambitious and hungry than I’ve ever been.
Of course I appreciate I’ve done a bunch of stuff but as I’ve written before, the more I do … the more I discover things I want to do. The problem is, the older you get, the more you know you won’t be able to do everything and so you want to try and ensure your time is spent on the stuff that fulfils you rather than drains you.
I get some people may read this and think I’m a fucking idiot. And I get it … because the basic narrative that is pushed out is the older you get, the less passion you have.
Hell, companies have used that as an excuse to get rid of experience for decades.
Worse, for a long time I believed that view too …
But what I’ve learned is that in many cases, it’s not the passion that gets tired, but the tolerance for bullshit.
The politics.
The processes.
The procedures.
The shiny-new-things.
The hang-on-to-the-old-things.
Corporate bullshit is endless.
And while I’m not suggesting people actively enjoy subjecting you to it – nor am I claiming all of it is pointless – I understand why so many people choose to walk away from it.
Which is all my way of saying how fortunate I consider myself …
Because while I have faced a bunch of bullshit in my time, the vast majority of my career has been working for – or with – people/companies and brands who value the work more than the politics. Who choose creativity over complicity. Who value what you do rather than devalue how old you are.
And that means at 54, the bullshit hasn’t won.
It may one day, but it hasn’t yet.
And that means I don’t just get to keep working with talent regardless of age, heritage, geography or discipline. Nor just get to learn, collaborate and create with people from all walks of life and from all fields of creativity – united by our desire to make something really fucking good, rather than something ‘good enough’. It means I get to keep enjoying it … being inspired by it and bringing my own energy and creativity to it.
So while there’ll be people out there who’ll make more money, have more things, possess bigger job titles or career positions than I’ll ever have … and while there may well come a time where the possibilities I see will be possibilities someone else has to realise … I can feel I beat the bullshit.
And while many won’t understand that.
Or even agree with that.
For a kid whose parents instilled in him the importance of living a life of fulfilment rather than contentment, it means that should I ever get to meet Mum and Dad again, I can thank them for teaching me stubbornness isn’t a fault, when done right, it’s an enduring gift.
Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Context, Dad, Jill, Love, Mum, Mum & Dad, My Childhood, Otis, Relationships, Resonance, Tattoo
So I’m back again.
Kinda.
I say that as by the time you read this, I’ll be off again.
On a plane, to a different country. But don’t get too excited because unlike the other recent trips, it’s only a few days so this blog – if anyone reads it – will be back on Thursday.
You’d think with all the time I’ve been away, I’d of had a chance to think up some new topics to write about. But quite frankly, the biggest news is the realization we’re now entering the last month of blogging for 2025.
How the hell did we get to this point of the year so quickly?
The thought that in just over a couple of months we enter the 19th year of this rubbish is mindblowing … though maybe I should say mind numbing, hahaha.
Anyway, this post is about tattoos.
Hang in there, it’s quite a personal post.
I got my first tat when I was about 41 years old.
I’d always thought about them but either was worried about the pain or not sure what I would want on me.
Things changed when I found myself in a tattoo shop in LA while on holiday with Jill, Paul and Shelly … and suddenly the opportunity to ‘go for it’ was just a head-nod away.
So, I did and almost immediately it made more sense to me than I ever imagined.
You see, for a sentimental fool like me, tattoos are a way to commemorate and celebrate all that is – or has been – important to me.
More than a reminder, but a way to keep these things alive in my consciousness.
Maybe that’s why I find having them peaceful.
Proper peace.
To the point I sleep through them rather than wince because of them.
So, while some can have any old shit inked onto their body, for me each is deeply personal and that’s why my arms are covered in a hotchpotch of weird personal references and deeply emotional significance … from toast with the Superman logo burnt into it to a mooncake, an owl, an octopus, a black heart with flowers and Ms Piggy right through to things like my old Nottingham post code and phone number, Rosie’s face, paw and nose and Otis birth date to name but a few.
But recently I had 2 more added that had a bigger impact on me than I imagined.
While going through some old photos, I found my parents passports.
As I looked through the pages, I saw their signatures and it really got to me.
Part of it was I’d not seen them for a long time.
Part of it is knowing they won’t ever write them again.
Part of it is because they’d written them with their own hand, so I felt close to them again.
It was an emotional moment and decided there and then I wanted them tattooed on me.
Now I have tattoos for Mum and Dad already [the Owl and Ms Piggy] but this was different and so when I talked to an artist near our house about it, she readily agreed and created scans she could use as a template to ink.
And this is the result.
They’re perfect.
Both in terms of how they look and where they are.
But more than that, they’re perfect in what they mean and represent.
I was gobsmacked when I first saw them because it felt so surreal to see their signatures written new again.
Yes, I know I’d asked for them, but these were ‘fresh and new’ and given Dad has been gone 25 years – and Mum 9 – it felt like they were part of my present, not simply my past.
Being able to look at my wrist and not just see their names, but their actual signatures is very special to me as it means they are now living in my world … but more than that, I’m taking them with me. Showing and sharing with them how I live and what I do. Having them on the journey with me rather than just in my memory.
I appreciate not everyone will get this and some may think I have finally – or officially – cracked, but I hope some people get it, because the point of a tattoo, at least for me, isn’t about branding, but living.
Ensuring things of significance in life are not consigned to ‘memory status’, but liberated to be oxygen for where you go. Not because you can’t let go or are frightened to … but because the energy of what they are helps take you further. In the now. In the present. In the forever.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Apathy, Attitude & Aptitude, Complicity, Content, Context, Creativity, Culture, Curiosity, Effectiveness, Egovertising, Emotion, Empathy, Mum, Mum & Dad, My Childhood, Parents, Perspective, Point Of View, Positioning, Provocative, Purpose
In many ways, this post is a continuation of yesterdays … except this was written 3 weeks ago and yesterdays – in an alarming moment of relevance for this blog – was written yesterday.
So let’s get on with it shall we?
Oh the 80’s.
The decade of excess.
Excess living.
Excess spending.
Excess movie stars.
Excess fashion styles.
Excess exuberance. Excess. Excess. Excess.
But as is always the case, too much of one thing causes a correction and different nations and generations have been dealing with the byproduct of that for the last 40 odd years.
However, over the past few years, there has been a narrative coming from the industry that suggests all this economic instability has changed attitudes and behaviour.
More frugalness.
Less materialism.
Higher levels of thrifting
Greater emphasis on life more than work.
Increased importance on values and purpose.
And while this is absolutely true for millions, to suggest everyone on the planet thinks and acts this way, highlights how the marketing and advertising industry loves to jump on bandwagons and then conveniently ignore – or fight againt – any voice that challenges their view.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’d be less annoyed if people acknowledged there were multiple segments but they were deliberately choosing to focus on one for reasons that suit their values/product/ego … but I am amazed how many orgs and experts talk in absolutes and not even acknowledge there are other groups/ways/approaches.
Nothing highlighted that more to me than this …
Yes, it’s a company that will take your everyday credit/debit card and make it look like an AMEX Centurion – also known as the AMEX ‘black’ card.
For those who don’t know what the Centurion is, it’s a credit/charge card for AMEX’s most wealthy customers.
And while it comes with a host of ‘perks’, you only get to apply for it if your annual spend/payment on another AMEX is US$500,000 per year … and even then, you have to pay thousands of dollars per year as an annual fee.
Except this isn’t an AMEX Centurion is it. It’smore likely a Natwest Debit card with an overdraft facility of £500 … so you may well be asking why would anyone do it, especially because when you use it, I imagine it tells the retailer it’s absolutely not an AMEX card whatsoever. Add to that, more and more people are using their phone to pay for goods, which means no one even see’s what card you’re using and you have to wonder what’s the point. Except it doesn’t take much looking around to see there’s millions of people who see the fake [reframe: replica] and/or toxic [reframe: alt/anti-woke] materialism lifestyle symbols, an investment.
An investment in their ego.
An investment in their belonging.
An investment in their status.
An investment in their ‘in-the-know’.
An investment in their delusion.
An investment in their taste.
An investment in their ambitions.
An investment in their quest for equality.
An investment in their need to not feel being left behind.
An investment in their connections.
An investment in their truth.
An investment in who they are or want to become.
And while we may not understand all of them … agree with all of them … even like all of them, it doesn’t mean they don’t exist or that their views and opinions don’t have any validity [even if it’s just to them], so dismissing them, ignoring them, judging them or being deliberately ignorant to the reality of them doesn’t help anyone, including yourself.
Because nothing sets you up for failure than only choosing to see, relate or value the people who are the same as you, which is why I find it so funny that for all the research companies invest in, so many of them only focus on what lets them them feel better about themselves rather than what reveals the truths and reasons they need to know.
Or at least acknowledge.
And that’s why the older I get, the more grateful I am to my Mum for instilling in me the importance of “being interested in what others are interested in”.
Not because you’ll always agree with them … or even end up liking them … but because when you make the effort to understand how – and why – they see the World, you better understand how you see it too.
We could all do with more of that … because being blinkered often stops you seeing who you can be, not just who others are.
Don’t get me wrong, taking a position is very important … but it only has value if the journey towards that point of view has come from understanding, rather than arrogance and ego.
Talking of 2024 being like the excess of the 1980’s …
There will be no posts next week as I’m off on a ridiculous trip.
Los Angeles.
Sydney.
Melbourne.
And errrrm, Hobart in Tasmania.
I know … I know …
But as I pointed out at the beginning of this post, for every action there’s a reaction … which in this case means you’re free from a week of my blogging rubbish, so if anything should highlight the benefits of acknowledging the different sides of situations, it’s this.
Filed under: Corona Virus, Dad, England, Family, Italy, Jill, Love, Mum, Mum & Dad, My Childhood, My Fatherhood, New Zealand, Otis
So on Sunday, it would be Mum’s 92nd birthday.
Now of course, she has been gone 9 years … however despite that, I still feel deeply connected to her birthday so for me, that number still feels very real to me.
I often wonder what life would be like if she was still here.
I say that, because had she still been alive, I don’t think we would be in NZ.
When COVID happened, we would have brought her to us in London … so she would be kept safe, cared for and loved.
I would imagine it would have been quite the challenge to get her to agree because she was always fiercely independent … but apart from the fact Otis would have been the major draw card, the fact is that towards the end of her life, she had accepted she needed some help. Not much, but a little. Even if that was just so she had someone to talk to every now and then, despite loving her own company.
And if that was the case there is no way we would have left the UK.
If anything, we would have been more likely to move to Italy … so she could be back in her homeland, near her sister and nieces.
Not that she would have expected us to do that – oh no, she was adamant I had to live my life, not look after hers – but that was a [gentle] tension we endured throughout our time together.
Her wanting to look after me by never demanding anything of me.
Me wanting to look after her by being protective and supportive.
Fortunately, towards the end we had found a calmness in how we dealt with it.
She’d accept what I sent her, and I’d accept she’d do nothing with any of it. Hahaha.
I know that might sound like some weird kind of ‘truce’, but it worked for us and I presume many other families work in a similar way. Acceptance, compromise and convenience … not because it ‘keeps the peace’, but because ultimately, you know the other person is doing it with love, even if it’s not exactly as you wish/hoped they’d act.
My Mum was the master of seeing the love.
Or dealing with challenges with love.
I can’t help but feel we’d all be better off if we followed her way of living rather than the self-serving, myopic, populist, egotism that the world is riddled with these days.
While I’m glad Mum didn’t have to endure the challenges of COVID, I’d have been so happy if it had meant she would be with us. I’ve written before how one of the worst of times was – thanks to my huge privilege – very special for me. By that, I mean in terms of COVID allowing me to be with my family 24/7.
They may have been sick of it, but I utterly loved it. Treasured it even.
But the reality is Mum had died years before, which meant NZ became a real option for us. And what a move it has turned out to be for the family. And while we won’t be here forever, we have valued and enjoyed every minute … which is why on top of thanking Colenso and the country for making it what it is [which is Otis’ FAVE EVER country, hence I’m going to ruin his life again one day in the not too distant, but not close, future] I also need to thank my Mum for kinda making this happen.
Or said another way … thank her for looking after my best interests even when I don’t fully realise that until later.
What a human. What a Mum.
Happy Birthday Mum, I love you.
Big hugs to you and give Dad a big kiss from me.