Filed under: Airports, Brand, Brand Suicide, Comment, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Names, Singapore
I was in Singapore recently, when I passed this shop …
Now I’ve written a lot about naming protocols and systems in the past – and while some have proven to be very smart, far more have been unmitigated bollocks.
And while I appreciate Kaboom doesn’t seem too bad a name, I should point out this was at Singapore Airport and so in terms of associations … giving your shop a name that references the sound a bomb makes – just as you are about to board your plane – probably is not the best choice you could have made.
Hell, even their logo looks like how cartoons show an explosion.
What next, 7-Eleven change their name to 9-Eleven?
OK, I’m taking the piss … but for all the naming protocols and processes I’ve been taken through over the years, not one has talked about ‘location geography’ which reinforces what I have often felt is wrong with many of the processes out there.
They give you everything you don’t need, but not enough of what you do.
Happy Monday.
A few weeks ago, I wrote about a male scent that was based on the movie, Friday The 13th.
In the post, I’ve waxed lyrical about how the scent category makes absolutely no sense and yet [1] it kinda does, given what it’s ultimately selling and [2] as much as I laugh at it, I also kinda love it.
I say that because recently I saw the name of a Tom Ford scent …
Noir Extreme!
NOIR EXTREME!!!
Hahahahahaha …
When I saw it, I couldn’t help think of this scene from the mockumentary, Spinal Tap.
I can just imagine the scene at the naming meeting.
Boss:
“We need it to sound dark and mysterious”.
Overly keen exec:
“What about ‘noir’ … that seems it fits the bill”.
Boss:
“Yes, but we need it to be more emotive … more masculine … more dark”.
Overly keen exec:
“What about Raw Noir?”.
Boss:
“Not dark enough”
Overly keen exec:
“What about Noir Noir?”.
Boss:
“Sounds too much like an 80’s pop band”.
Overly keen exec:
“I’ve got it … I’ve got it … what about Noir Extreme?”.
Boss:
“I love it … there’s nothing more noir than extreme noir”.
Which is why as much as strategy likes to talk about ‘laddering’ … to get to push ideas to new places, there’s no one more adept at it than the scent industry. Which is why it can only be a matter of time before we can look forward to a range of male scents with names like ‘Vicious Death’, ‘Hardcore Evil’ or – potentially the most extreme of all – ‘Pong Like Putin’.
You heard it here first. Ahem.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Audio Visual, Marketing, Names
So I saw this beverage fridge a week or so ago …
I can’t help but wonder if the ‘effi’ of efficold is meant to mean ‘efficient cold’ or ‘effin’ cold’.
Or maybe it’s the most genius name ever …
Letting cafe owners who have the fridge on their premises think it’s for efficiency so they don’t worry about the increase in their electric bill while letting hot, thirsty Londoners believe they’re about to consume a beverage that is fucking cold and will quench their thirst once and for all.
If only all brand names were so multi-interpretive because quote frankly, that is a better naming strategy than anything I’ve seen from any of the brand consultancies …
Have a great weekend. I know I will, it’s a long weekend here.
See you Tuesday.
So I was in a toyshop recently when I saw this …
Now I appreciate this might say more about how my brain works rather than the manufacturers, but does this sound dodgy to you?
Woodman?
WOODMAN?
OK, so the thing is made of wood, but come on …
Look at the pose of that ‘icon’.
Hands on hips.
Thrusting groin.
Shit-eating smirk on its face.
This is pure filth masquerading as innocence.
Then there’s the fact we’re talking about a toy that is a big, steam engine that is thrusting itself into a deep, dark tunnel and the manufacturers may as well just slap a ‘Pornhub’ logo on the box and be done with it.
I know … I know … I’m talking utter shite, but it’s Monday morning so what do you expect?
Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, America, Asia, Auckland, Authenticity, Bonnie, Cats, China, Comment, Content, Context, Craft, Creativity, Dad, Daddyhood, Death, Design, Emotion, England, Family, Freddie, Happiness, Harmony, Jill, LaLaLand, Love, Loyalty, Mum, Mum & Dad, Music, My Childhood, My Fatherhood, Names, Otis, Queen, Resonance, Respect, Rosie, Shanghai, Tattoo
I got my first tattoo when I was 42.
I was holidaying in LA, saw a tattoo shop and – after some encouragement from my friend Paul – went in and had a big one on the underside of my arm.
Hey, nothing like jumping all in eh.
But from that moment, the tattoo became something very important to me.
To be honest, I’d always wanted one but chickened out because of the fear of pain – but not only did it not hurt at all [in fact I fall asleep when I have them] I discovered it the ultimate way to express my sentimentality towards people, dates and things that held a very significant place in my life.
Since that day way back in 2012, I’ve had loads of tattoos.
Birthdays.
Postcodes.
Phone numbers.
Signatures.
Names, pictures and paws of pets.
Honoring Mum, Dad, Jill, Otis and China.
Personal philosophies and heroes.
Nottingham Forest and Queen.
Some weird shit for some friends.
And nods to LA, UK, NZ and Italy.
There’s not one that I regret because each and every one of them is there for a reason.
No ‘moments of stupidity’.
No ‘this would be good for a laugh’.
No ‘tribal or badly translated rubbish’.
Each tattoo represents something deeply important and significant to me – even if to the causal observer, it may look like I have a bunch of random and weird stuff across my arms.
I say all this because recently, Otis asked if I had any tattoos for him, to which I proudly pointed to the one of his name and his date of birth.
And while he seemed moderately pleased with this, it apparently wasn’t enough because he asked if he could design one … a tattoo that captured who he was and what he believed. And I stupidly said ‘yes’, which is why I am currently in negotiations with him to decide which of these will be inked upon my body in the next few weeks.
For the record, the reason the potential designs are all in type is because I don’t have any room on my arms for a picture and he wants to ensure it is something that can be – and will be – seen at all times, haha.
Now before you think I’m blindly pandering to my son’s whims and wants … he genuinely loves rice. In fact he has it every night for dinner which he claims is because he was born in China … so while his tastes may well change or evolve over time, ‘Rice Is Life’ does capture who he is and what he believes, which means – for me – it ticks all the criteria boxes needed to go out and make it a permanent symbol on my body.
The ad industry could learn from kids for their powers of persuasion.