Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Alcohol, Aspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Beer, Career, Childhood, Comment, Culture, Friendship, Mischief, My Childhood
I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since I was 15.
That means almost 40 bloody years!!!
And yet, over the years, I’ve been arrested for being drunk and disorderly all over the World … even though in reality, I was just being a stupid idiot.
A sober, stupid idiot.
For people who know me, that shouldn’t be too hard to imagine … however the reality is ‘being a stupid idiot’ is why I stopped drinking in the first place.
Not because I ever had a problem with how much I drank – if truth be told, I only ever got properly ‘drunk’ twice in my life and, being so young, meant I never had too much access to alcohol in the first place – but because I had a problem with feeling out-of-control.
I appreciate that may make me sound like a psychopath, but what’s even stranger is that I have a very addictive personality.
Over the years, that’s got me into a bunch of different types of trouble … which is why I am so glad my addictive side is offset by also being in possession of a stubborn-as-a-mule side.
What this means is that if my addictive side goes too far, my stubborn side kicks in and stops me dead.
I don’t just mean ‘stops me’ for that moment, I mean it stops me doing whatever it is I was doing, for good.
It’s like the ultimate flex … showing my addictive side that as influential as it thinks it is, it decides what I do and don’t do. And nothing proves that more by ensuring that when it stops me, it never ever lets me do it again.
It’s why I stopped drinking alcohol.
It’s why I stopped playing fruit machines.
It’s why I – eventually – stopped eating so much shit.
It’s also why I never tried drugs because it’s a given I’d have gone all in on them.
However, I am a bit confused why it hasn’t stepped in to stop me walking around like an idiot. But then, I guess I am choosing to do that rather than because I have a compulsion to – which is, arguably, even scarier.
Or sadder.
Anyway, I am writing all this because I read something recently that triggered all these thoughts.
It was something the actor/host Rob Brydon said this about the best time to be in a movie.
I love that. I love it for the objectivity, the vulnerability and the self-awareness.
Some people dream of being in a movie.
Some people dream of writing a hit song.
Some people – god forbid – dream of working in advertising.
And that’s great, until you let that define who you are.
Because the moment that happens, you’re no longer in control of who you are.
You are at the mercy of those around you.
Desperate for the acclaim. Hurt by any criticism. Doing all you can to stay where you think you are .. and yet, always craving to be something more.
Some companies actively try to cultivate this attitude …
Making you feel you’re special for being where others aren’t.
Letting you enjoy the trapping of industry success and clout.
Feeding your confidence with stories of acclaim and fame.
But while this is going on, they’re slowly changing the dynamic.
Shifting you from a position of strength to dependency.
Turning the screw until they’re the one in control.
Where you’ll be complicit to whatever keeps you in favour.
Because to be let go by them would feel like you no longer exist.
Until they decide you don’t.
Trust me it happens.
It’s kind-of why I started Corporate Gaslighting.
Because the way they win is creating the conditions of control. And shame.
But this post has taken a bit of a turn …
Because while that quote from Rob Brydon may be about the dangers of getting what you want, it wasn’t the point I was originally using it for this post.
The real reason was that when I read it, it reminded me of something The Chemical Brothers once said.
Something to do with alcohol consumption – which is where this post started, just to connect the dots in case you were as lost as I appear to have been.
You see, they were once asked, “What’s your favourite part of being drunk”.
To which they gave one of the best answers to any question I’ve ever heard:
“The second before you know you’re going to be sick”.
Those are the words of someone who has been there more than once.
Who has learned the lessons of excess the hard way.
Who’s personality is all addiction, and no stubborn.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Birkenhead, Community, New Zealand
Just when it seems everyone everywhere is talking about their big lives … big ideas … big successes … I passed a local charity shop – near where I live – that enchanted me for its small statement of genuine pride.
This.
I love it.
I love it is for a window display.
I love it celebrates it was commended, rather than won.
I love it was for the local Carnival event rather than a national competition.
I love it was signed by the head judge.
I love it because I know the people who run the store will be proud as punch for it.
Because it shows they have been recognised for caring about what they do and who they serve.
Not for likes or follows or to hype up their achievements to others in an invisible competition that doesn’t matter or count … but because they are simply committed to their community.
I’ve written about where I live before … and while it’s not big or cool, it’s real and true and has more sense of belonging than any organisations who loves to brag about their company culture or NPS scores.
Because ultimately my community knows what organisations don’t …
Culture is made not mandated.
Sure the top may enable, but it’s the people who create it.
Which is why big statements spouted on Linkedin and industry press may get the headlines.
But it’s the small acts of genuineness that gets the pride.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Apathy, Attitude & Aptitude, Bonnie, Childhood, Family, Food, Health, Holiday, Mental Health, Rosie, Walking
As many of you know, over the last year, I’ve got healthy.
Through exercise and a very regimented and controlled calorie/sugar/carb diet [except on Christmas and Birthday’s where I eat a whole loaf of Sourdough with salted butter and raspberry jam] I’ve lost over 46kg.
Or said another way, I’ve lost the equivalent of my 10 year old son.
Not only that, but maybe the first time in 40+ years, I am in the healthy BMI range.
Yes, I know the whole BMI system is currently being evaluated because frankly, it’s not fit for purpose, however this is still a huge thing for me.
But not the biggest thing. Oh no …
Because despite now eating well, dressing better and basically being in the best health of my adult life, the biggest difference in me is this:
Yep, that’s my walking chart for January. Or should I say, for most of January.
And full disclosure, of the days shown, 10 were during the festive break and another 10 days were when I was not allowed to drive due to my eye problem.
But, even then, I walked over HALF A MILLION STEPS in 28 days.
HALF A FUCKING MILLION.
That’s 19,000 a day!!!
And you know what, I loved every step of it.
I walk before work.
I walk on client calls.
I walk in the lunch break.
I walk when I get home after dinner.
I’m a fucking walking machine, and yet a little over a year or so ago, I’d have probably driven to the shower if I could.
Of all the things that have happened on my health journey, my love of walking has probably been the most surprising. But what it also has done is reveal how I used to manage stress.
Truth be told, I never thought I suffered with stress.
Sure, there were the odd times it was tough, but generally I thought it was all OK.
However when I decided to sort myself out, I would continually catch myself walking to the fridge. Not because I was hungry, but because I was looking for a distraction or a diversion from something related to work.
I’d deal with my ‘auto-pilot fridge visits’ by forcing myself to go for a walk instead … however over the weeks I realized how often I was out pounding the streets which revealed to me, arguably the first time, how much stress I was probably dealing with throughout my life.
I should point out that when I say ‘stress’, I don’t mean anything like so many people have to deal with.
For me, it was more mundane stuff … like how I was going to write a deck or how was I going to cram all my meetings in.
But here’s the strange thing …
Despite walking so much, I somehow am able to do so much more.
Not because I have more energy – I’m not really sure I do – but because I have more inner calm.
I call it ‘Zen Ferocity’ … which sounds far too new age bollocks, but in essence means by being calmer, I have been able to put more intensity into what matters rather than what distracts.
Of course this shouldn’t be a surprise as there’s so much evidence on how running helps the mind … but when you have gone from walking to the fridge to walking 19,000 steps a day, it’s still a gratefully received fist in the face.
But what this walking has also done is prepare me perfectly for welcoming this into the Campbell home:
Meet Bonnie.
Or to give her, her full name – courtesy of Otis – Bonnie Bourbon Biscuit. [But we’ll just be sticking with Bonnie, hahaha]
She was only 24 days old in that photo and we don’t get her until April … but we have a very excited household.
Even our beloved Rosie may have thought she was cute …
Maybe.
And while I know owning a dog is a very different proposition than owning a cat, I can be sure of one thing.
She’s not going to be wanting for walks.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Craft, Creativity, Culture, Emotion, Family, Love, Mum, Mum & Dad, My Childhood, My Fatherhood, Otis, Parents
As you know, I love music.
I play it.
I make it.
I listen to it.
I used to make my living from it.
I work with people who play to millions while they do it.
Music is, in many ways, a version of oxygen to me.
However, while I like all manner of music … from heavy metal to opera … there are some bands I don’t really connect to. One of those is Radiohead.
Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate their talent and there are music/songs they’ve written that I feel are genuinely masterful. But do I think they are worth the reputation that so many people hold them to?
Hmmmmmn, probably not … which I appreciate is entirely subjective rather than anything approaching a considered point-of-view.
And yet, I recently saw someone perform one of their songs – the admittedly iconic, ‘Creep’ – that has had such an impact on me, that I literally burst into tears at a specific point of the song, every time I listen to it.
And I’ve listened to it a lot.
I should point out that while I have always liked that track, it’s less to do with the song and more to do with who performs it and how they perform it.
It’s this [with my tears starting at exactly 2 minutes 8 seconds ]
Oh my god, I’ve just listened to it again as I am writing this and the tears are streaming down my face.
Now I should point out I have form at crying to music.
My Mum used to tell me that when I was very young – like 6 months old – I would cry at classic music that she’d put on the record player. Not because I didn’t like it, but because I was overwhelmed by the emotion of it.
And here I am, aged 54, still doing it.
There are many reasons for it.
First it’s just fucking beautiful. Proper, proper beautiful.
It’s both so simple and yet so layered …
But it’s also how two totally different musical styles bend and blend into some sort of harmonious rapture.
Where different orchestrations seem to be going on their own paths and yet, at some point, come together.
Not mechanically, but with almost a slow motion to them … making the impact of it even more majestic.
But, if I am being honest, as amazing as that is, what really hits me is this is Son and Mum.
It makes me emotional just thinking about it.
Not just because it makes me miss my Mum so much, but because both of them have come together to create something special for each other. And I do think it started that way.
The son believing his Mother’s voice was incredible. The mum wanting to support her son’s musical talent.
A genuine interest in what each other is interested in.
No judgement.
No criticism.
Just interest and openness while being able to stay utterly true to who they each are.
And by doing this, they’ve taken their separate world’s and created something together. Something special. Something that elevates their relationship because it has opened the door to new ways to share and express their love that maybe they previously never imagined.
But it’s even more than that.
Because running all the way through those 3 minutes, 25 seconds is a celebration of love.
Not just because they’re bonded by blood, but because you feel the deep sense of pride, respect and adoration of who each other is and what each other does.
It’s similar to when Pink Floyd guitarist, Dave Gilmour, turned up unannounced to a pub in Brighton to support – and sing – with his daughter Romany and yet it is also very different.
Because where Dave and Romany sang a song that was a relatively faithful rendition of the original [not to mention something you imagine they’d done together in private for years – which is said with love, not judgement] the version of ‘Creep’ is something else.
A mash-up of totally different musical styles.
A creation of something not heard before.
Something that not only takes the song to a completely new place, but demands all who listen to it open their eyes and ears to a musical style that they may of never heard before or most probably never considered would be something they’d like.
But how can you not like this.
How can you not be moved by it.
Because while the song is about low self esteem, loneliness, and the struggle to accept yourself, it inspires, radiates and ignites pure love.
The sort of love surely everyone hopes they will one day get to experience, create, share or remember.
And that is what my tears are for. And that is why I’m so grateful for them.
Remember to tell the people who matter to you, what they mean to you.
Have a good weekend.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Apathy, Attitude & Aptitude, Career, Colleagues, Comment, Creativity, Culture, Empathy, Football, Fulfillment, Leadership, Management, Nottingham Forest, Relationships, Relevance, Reputation, Resonance
One of the things I’ve always believed is that the role of a boss is to ensure that when their people leave – and they always will – they are going to a job that they didn’t previously think was possible for them.
A role where it is as much about who they are as what they do.
A position based on what they’ve made not just what they’ve written.
An opportunity created because they want to hire them rather than there’s a hire needing to be filled.
OK, there is one other scenario that makes me happy and that’s when someone leaves for love, family or to explore a personal passion … however in terms of ‘direct’ career moves, I feel I’ve done my job for my team when they leave for what I call, ‘a bigger life’.
Has this always happened?
No. No it hasn’t … however I am extremely proud that in the main, it has.
I should point out here I am in no way trying to take credit for my old colleagues success. The reality is they did it all by themselves … my only role was to ensure I created the conditions, environment and standards that let their talent and ambitions be expressed, pushed and celebrated.
This last bit is important because while the industry sometimes feels it rewards popularity more than experience, a career is built on what you do, not what you say.
Or said another way: What you’re willing to put in, not just what you want to take out.
Let me be clear, I am not suggesting you have to work to the extreme in terms of hours or workload.
Apart from that being completely counter-productive to enabling you to be the best you can be, who – apart from Tom in Succession – wants a career based on ‘being able to take more shit than someone else’?
That doesn’t mean you don’t have to graft – you do – but as I’ve written in the past, graft is very different to working to the bone or engaging in that other evil beast, hustle culture.
So what do I mean by graft?
Well, there are many interpretations, but for me – this quote by Nottingham Forest’s Taiwo Awoniyi, kind of captures it best.
The significant part is this: “I think I can make you who you want to be as a player. But it is your decision to come?”
Your decision to come.
YOUR decision to come.
The acknowledgement that to move forward, you have to choose to do it.
No shortcuts. No handouts. No guarantees. Yet you still have to show up.
But what I also love about that line is the bit that comes before ‘your decision to come’.
Because in just 14 words, the coach has told Taiwo they:
1. Believe in his ability but won’t make false promises.
2. Are focused on Taiwo’s ambitions and aspiration are, not theirs.
3. Will commit their energy to the pursuit of helping Taiwo achieve his goal/s.
Shared responsibility.
Shared commitment.
Shared effort.
In essence, he removed all the pressure being just on the player by saying to them, that they’re in this journey, together.
What this means is Taiwo knows the focus is on where he wants to be, not just what someone wants him to do.
That his graft will not be in vain.
That there’s a productivity to all he puts in.
And that success won’t simply be measured by what his boss achieves, but what his boss helps him achieve.
But, to have all that, the expectation is he demonstrates it through his actions and behaviours each day.
It won’t be easy.
It definitely isn’t a given.
But if you choose to take this chance – not just theoretically, but with everything you’ve got – then they will commit to helping you get where you hope you can be.
And maybe even beyond that.
Sadly I don’t know if that same attitude is embraced by our industry much these days. Of course it’s there with some people, but it’s unlikely to be the norm.
And why do I say that?
Because we’re seeing less and less training in companies these days … and what there is, is often outsourced to a ‘for profit’ individual/company who often are only doing it for self-serving reasons. And what this is resulting in is less independent thought and/or good people leaving the industry.
This kills me, because I love this industry.
Sure, it can drive me nuts but at its best, it’s something truly special.
Special work.
Special people.
Special possibilities.
It has also given me a life that – in all honesty – I never imagined was possible, however I had some bosses through the years who were like Taiwo’s and for that I am eternally grateful to them. [Just so you know, I also had some utter pricks, but I’m even grateful to them because they showed me who I will never want to be]
This post has gone on for far too long which is why I’ll leave anyone who has got this far with a gift.
If you want to know if you’re working for a company that really cares about your growth or cares more about their own, ask your CFO this simple question:
“What percentage of the companies budget is dedicated to staff training”.
Trust me, their answer will tell you all you need to know.
You’re welcome.