The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


The Best Award Submission Template You’ll Ever See …

I posted this on LinkedIn a while back, but I thought I’d post here too. Not because I couldn’t be bothered to write an original post [when have I ever done that?] but because I think it is actually valuable for anyone working in addend.

If you work in an ad agency – especially in the planning or strategy department – you’re going to have a time in the year, where you’re writing award submissions.

Effies.
Warc.
You name it, you’ll be writing it.

And while I often judge these awards, the purpose of this post is not so I have an easier time reading the countless submissions … it’s so you can see how to make your case more persuasive.

The basic rule is this.

When you’ve written your paper and think you’ve got it “just right” …

I want you to read this article and then start again.

Yes, it is a food review.

Yes, it’s from the Birmingham Mail newspaper.

And yes, it’s from someone who describes herself as ‘common as muck’.

But when you read it, you’ll learn what wonderful writing, proper insight, real appreciation of the role of creativity and actual honesty looks like.

It’s a magnificent article.

One filled with appreciation and wonder when it could so easily have been a judgemental hatchet job.

I was so taken by it, I even wrote to the journalist offering to pay for their meal … and I don’t even do that for my team.

[For the record, she replied and said she couldn’t accept it. So I asked for her charity of choice and made a donation under her name instead. It was this one if anyone else feels inclined]

So if a food review in the Birmingham Mail newspaper can do it, you can do it too.

I’ll be watching.

And judging.



Money Can Buy You Luxury But It Can’t Buy You Decency …

There’s an old saying that goes, ‘money talks but wealth whispers’.

It’s a nice turn of phrase, but if it was ever true – and it probably was, at least in terms of old school rich – wealth is talking much more loudly these days.

Many years ago I wrote a post about it and how I was how wealth was moving from expressions of success to acts of arrogance.

Since I wrote that post waaaaaaaaay back in 2006, we have seen this shift become more and more common, to the point where the characters in the brilliant Succession … are seen as aspirational rather than despicable.

But this situation is not new …

I remember reading an interview with Michael Douglas where he couldn’t work out why people liked his character in Wall Street, when he was supposed to represent everything wrong with the times.

However the reality is if you revisit his famous ‘Greed Is Good’ speech … it sounds very similar to the toxic, machismo, ego-bullshit Musk and Bezos – let alone the Roy family in Succession – spout on a disturbingly regular basis.

Have a look …

So when you consider this – and the hero status Jordan Belfort achieved with his ‘Wolf Of Wall Street’ persona – you start to realise that rather than learn from the mistakes of the past, we’re running right back at them.

Or said another way, it’s like the 80’s all over again.

Nothing reinforced this to me that this ad I recently saw on insta …

What the fuck?

For all the vulgar displays of wealth I’ve seen – and I’ve seen a lot having lived in China and America – I don’t know if anything beats the utter arrogance of travelling to one of the most environmentally fragile places on the planet simply so you can then piss on it by using mass carbon-emission producing boats, helicopters and submarines.

Fuck the environment.

Fuck the planet.

Fuck humanity.

All that matters is doing what you want and money lets you do whatever that is.

I honestly don’t know who I hate more … the company who put this on or the people who will happily pay to be a part of it.

That they have chosen to advertise this disgrace on instagram shows how much the company knows ‘alienating people’ is part of the appeal for the rich.

It’s sick.

As sick as all those companies who try to profit from the environmental crisis by making products that are ‘less bad’ rather than ‘more good’ and then try to place the burden of responsibility on the population rather than the corporation.

But then, as Joel Bakan wrote way back in 2005 with his book Corporation – companies, like the ultra wealthy – are fucking psychopaths.



Is This The Ultimate Metaphor For Modern Creativity?

I recently saw this very disturbing video.

When I say ‘disturbing’, it’s not bad … in fact the person in it has CHOSEN to be in this situation … however watching it absolutely freaks me out.

I find it hard to watch.
I find it hard to breath.
I find it hard to comprehend.

In fact, every time I watch it, I start jiggling my arms and neck because I need to feel I am free to move rather than be trapped in the most contrived of spaces.

Have a look at this …

However after forcing myself to watch it a few times, I realised it could be seen as more than just a deranged man wanting to increase the odds of death. It was a perfect metaphor for so much of working in the modern creative industry.

Yes, we could talk about the quest for craft and rigour. The painstaking approach we take to find an idea that will unlock a whole world of change and opportunity. The commitment to doing the right thing rather than the easiest.

I could talk about that, but …

1. I don’t know if that is true for a lot of what goes on these days.

2. It feels far more a reflection of dealing with corporate politics, committees, toxic positivity, arrogance and ego or – worse of all – workshops, specifically those designed to let people ‘feel part of the process’ despite the fact they created the problem you’ve been asked to solve.

I know all this sounds massively arrogant of me.

It’s certainly not the case all the time.

But the fact that when it isn’t, it’s like a revelation means it’s far more present than many like to admit. And that’s horrific. Not just in terms of the wasted energy and time … but in lost opportunities. Which is why the best relationships are built on people who want the same thing.

That doesn’t mean they will always agree on how to achieve it … but it does mean you trust and respect each others opinion, talent and expertise rather than thinking the other party is out to screw you over. Though the way the procurement process is often handled, it’s not hard to see why that happens.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

Not if you really want something to be great.

Not if you truly value the work the other party brings to the table.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t care about costs – of course not – but as I wrote a while back about how Metallica’s management dealt with me when we started working together, their view was when you pay someone well, you’re not just showing respect for what they do, you’re ensuring they want to give you their best in all they do.

Which makes an even more cost effective arrangement.

A more trust-worthy relationship.

A more productive partnership.

Who knew?

Oh yes, the people who understand the value of living up to quality, not purely down to a price.



Cowards Are Oppressors …

Many years ago, I did a campaign for Australian ‘youth’ radio station, Triple J.

Triple J was a government funded radio station, but what set it apart was that it had a mandate to play new artists, preferably Australian, who were definitely not part of the mainstream crowd.

Think John Peel, but Australian.

What I loved about them was how much they divided opinion.

To some they were hope. To others they were noise.

But as we delved deeper, it became apparent the people who thought it was noise were basically proud the followers of the mainstream. The focus-group designed. The beige and the blunted. The average.

Now I appreciate that sounds massively judgemental … but what I found interesting was how companies had basically messed with the meaning of average in a bid to make more cash from customers.

In the old days, average was an achievement.

The meeting point between quality and cost.

Democratisation.

Progression.

Access.

But now average wasn’t that at all.

It was mainstream mediocrity.

Designed for easy, passive appeal. Mindlessness. A strategy of making beige act like gold.

Which led to the point of view of the work: The enemy of average.

Directly targeting anything that had been designed to dumb down rather than lift up.

We got into all sorts of mischief …

From placing warning stickers on all ‘easy listening’ artists in HMV [that saw us being threatened with legal action] … to running ads during mainstream TV to tell viewers they’re being murdered by averageness … to images of mainstream mediocre products being placed in public toilets so you could literally piss on them. [Beige Volvo anyone?]

And while this may all sound madness – and this was the 90’s so tastes were very different – we knew the only way to attract more listeners was to ensure we did it in a way that made our existing fans see we were fighting for what we believe, rather than pandering to popularity.

The old reverse psychology trick.

And it worked because ultimately this was just an extension of who they truly were.

Stubborn, opinionated, mischievous, audacious and uncompromising.

A teen who was very comfortable in playing with the uncomfortable.

And what this did was help build the cult of the brand … helping Triple J enter a new phase of growth while never looking like they were chasing fame.

Of course, they’re not the only ones who have pulled this off.

Playstation did it … NIKE have done it … Supreme do it … but the key to pulling this off successfully is knowing who you are and knowing who you’re for and frankly, not many can brands – or agencies – say that, especially these days.

What makes this even more amazing is how many agencies and companies bang on about their authenticity and purpose … but the problem is they can’t see what they’ve become: a mediocrity pleaser machine.

Of course the signs are there if you just scratch the surface.

Generic, mass audiences.
An aversion for sacrifice.
A desire to remove any sharp edges or opinion.

And while many think making a brand as easy to buy is the greatest way to achieve success, the thing they need to remember is the future goes nowhere in the hands of cowards.



A Deadly Error Of Judgement …

I’ve been at Colenso almost a year.

I know … where the hell has the time gone?

Anyway, recently I got the above message from our IT department which helped me discover that up until that moment … not only had I NOT been on the ‘all agency’ emails, all the agency had not been getting mine either.

What the hell?

And while it meant that I suddenly had 800+ emails to catch up on – not to mention feeling a sense of disappointment that work had missed out on the 8000+ stupid/insulting/inappropriate ‘all staff’ emails I’d written over my time here – I must admit to feeling a deep sense of joy that for all the IT training we’ve had in relation to ‘safe protocols’, someone within that department inadvertently released the most annoying virus they’ll ever see.

Me.

Cue: Evil laugh.