The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Marketing Kills Meaning …

One of the worst things marketing has done is destroy the meaning of the English language.

I don’t mean with their desperate attempts to make their slogans and tropes part of popular vernacular – though that is also true – I mean it in terms of them literally and consistently destroying the meaning of words.

Over the years, I’ve seen all manner of examples …

From positioning a new brand of toilet cleaner as an innovation.

To claiming a new flavor of ‘Chicken Tonight’ is revolutionary.

And just recently, the most 80’s of 80’s band, being promoted as a symbol of rebellion.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Duran Duran.

Hell, back in my session guitarist days, I even played with Simon Le Bon … but even when they went through their ‘Wild Boys’ macho phase, they were about as dangerous and rebellious as Paddington Bear.

What the hell are the people behind this thinking?

Do they actually think Duran Duran are a badge of rebellion or is it more a case of them suggesting you’re a rebel if you actively choose to wear a shirt that does not feature the name of a modern music icon emblazoned all over the front?

If that’s the case, then I must be Satan personified. Or I was, prior to losing weight – hahaha.

But regardless of the reason, they’re either gaslighting, exploiting or as delusional as fuck.

What next, the color beige gets branded as controvertial?

Or maybe green ‘Starbursts’ get called confrontational?

Or possibly the entire marketing industry claims they are dangerous-as-fuck?

To paraphase Ronald Reagan and Lee Hill [who made his comment in relation to companies who have to overtly state and explain why their company, product or campaign is revolutionary/innovative/rebellious or even effective] …

“If you have to explain it, you’re probably not it”.

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Anything Is Easy For Those Who Have Never Done It …

I don’t struggle for things that fuck me off, but what is currently top of the charts on my personal ‘shit parade’ is people who talk in definitive and absolute terms.

Actually I need to be more specific. I mean the people who talk in definitive and absolute terms that blatantly attempt to elevate their position by putting others down via some pseudo-intellectual or utterly subjective horseshit.

It’s happening more and more, especially on – surprise, surprise – Linkedin.

And while I’m all about having a point-of-view, it only has value if you have an appreciation of what others think or do. So you have some real context to evaluate your viewpoint. And it would be even better if you also had some actual experience in the area – or on the issue – you’re being condescending about. Not ‘in theory’. Not ‘by association’. Not some ‘short-term, low-level’ employment experience from 20 years ago. Actual experience. So – you know – you can show you have an actual idea what the fuck you’re talking about, including what it takes to actually make these things happen and who is complicit when it doesn’t on an on-going basis.

Because nothing screams egotistical, blinkered, privileged, arrogant asshole – desperate-for-attention-or-notoriety – than saying “This is shit as is anyone who disagrees with me”.

Topped off by then ignoring, deleting or blocking anyone who dares challenge their view, even if they are well placed to have a perspective and are expressing it with respect and politeness.

It’s like they’re the bastard love child of Andrew Tate and a shock-jock talkback radio host. Immediately dismissing anything that doesn’t suit their narrative but throwing praise on anyone or anything that acknowledges it. Even better if it specifically acknowledges them. By name.

The thing is, these people have smarts. They’re not stupid. But their ego refuses to accept or acknowledge any other possible way of thinking or working. So when someone or something achieves a level of success that sustainably outstrips their approach, they either attack or try to claim some sort of ownership of the success. A bit like all those people who suddenly updated their Linkedin profiles to say they were NFT/Metaverse/AI experts.

It’s pretty incredible to be honest.

Which is why I find it kinda-ironic some of the worst offenders seem to be those who reside – or are associated with – academia. Not all of course, just the ones who seem to think that because they’re highly qualified in one area, they are qualified to speak about all areas.

Which is why, whenever I see these men [and it’s typically men] peacocking on social media, it reminds me of Lucille Ball’s brilliant quote. A quote I made into a sticker that I’ve given to members of my planning teams for decades.

A sticker permanently stuck on the front of my laptop …


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When Recognition Is An Insult …

We all love recognition.

Whether a compliment from a colleague or an award from your industry … recognition is a wonderful reward for your efforts.

Not that it is always done with that objective or intent, but if feels good and – in certain circumstances – can lead to a whole host of opportunities, from relationships to promotions.

But there are occasions where recognition sucks.

I don’t mean that in terms of the type of recognition Liz Truss achieved when she became the shortest serving [and economy destroying] Prime Minister in the history of the UK, I mean in terms of this …

‘The Most Innovative Leaders Transforming The Future of Energy in 2024’ …

What the fuck???

I’m not saying that simply because of their attempt to associate me with it, I’m saying that because it’s ego-filled bullshit.

“Innovative”.
“Transforming”.
“Future”.

My god … are they trying to play corporate buzzword bingo???

But that aside, why am I getting sent this email?

Yes, I worked with FFI – where we did our Rick and Morty collab – and yes, they are very innovative, but they don’t mention them in the email so I can only assume they have decided to specifically and deliberately ‘target’ me.

But what is even more hilarious is how they’re desperately trying to insinuate I’m connected to ‘the most innovative leaders transforming the future of energy in 2024’ … when in reality, all they’re trying to do is get me to advertise in their magazine.

Except there’s 2 problems.

1. I know I’d never be nominated to be in that group, because …
2. I don’t work in the industry of that group.

Which suggests either their database of information is more flawed than a Tory Politician or they’re just utterly stupid.

And here’s the thing …

While pandering to ego – either overtly or suggestively – can work, you better make sure you have your facts and context right because otherwise the bubble of delusion you’re trying to get people inside will pop and ne replaced with a great big spotlight that shines bright on the bullshit of it all.

Given Sam – the author of the email – has failed to recognise this fact from my continued disregard for his email, I’ve replied to his email with a link to this post.

So Sam … if you’re reading this, 10/10 for persistence. 1/10 for believability.

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Who Are You?

OK, I’m back.

Again.

And this time, I’m not going to be going away for …. hmmmmm, actually let’s not go there.

Let’s move on shall we?

So before I start, there’s 2 things to say.

1. Some may have seen this before, because I accidentally put the wrong publish date on it.

2. This is a week of long and – for me – serious posts. So don’t say I didn’t warn you.

The good news is that on Friday, you’ll be rewarded for it, with some news that benefits you as much as it does me.

Kinda.

Maybe.

OK, so one thing that drives me nuts is when brands talk in totally different voices to different audiences.

But there’s something that gets to me more, and that’s when the brand in question has tried to position themselves as some sort of ‘brand of the people’.

Case in point, Reddit …

I really like Reddit.

I think their ‘front-page of the internet’ is a brilliant place to play.

And then I saw this …

‘Where Engagement Meets Results’.

What the fuck is that about?

Oh I know what some will say …

“They’re trying to reach business people who discount Reddit as a commercially valuable platform”.

And maybe they are. But the irony is the easiest way to discount Reddit as a commercially valuable platform is having clients on there who only can communicate in the corporate monotone of the meaningless mission statement.

How insincere is a brand who speaks to their customers one way and business another?

How crazy is it that some think business people are a different species to ‘normal’ people?

How badly will Reddit’s audience react to work from companies who only speak business?

Now some may think I’m going over-the-top … they will remind me that we all ‘change’ our tone and personality dependent on who we are talking to.

And that’s true … to an extent.

But this isn’t a tonal change, this is character.

I read that and it’s a brand I don’t recognise …

Feels more like they should be called Beigeit rather than Reddit.

The ability to adapt your voice to different audiences shouldn’t mean changing who you are.

People who play golf have a dramatically different view to sport than those who play football … but Nike still do it in a way where you know and feel it’s them. Just like CTO’s in major corporations has different requirements to those who want a laptop for home … but you never feel Apple changes who they are to communicate with them.

Brands who fundamentally change their personality in a bid to engage different audiences literally don’t know who they are. Worse, their customers may start to question that too.

Reddit are amazing.

Their audience is diverse, engaged and productive.

And while I appreciate some in business may not understand that, if you have to alter who you are, do you want them anyway?

Years ago I was doing work for Triple J … a government funded, youth radio station in Australia.

Unlike other ‘government funded’ media, Triple J was someone with real credibility, driven by championing and breaking new artists, discussing topics commercial radio wouldn’t touch with a barge pole and absolutely no advertising.

So when they came to us asking for help, we knew straight away that whatever we did had to ensure their current audience didn’t feel Triple J was selling out by advertising for more listeners.

While you may think this meant we went niche, we did the opposite.

Built off an idea we called, ‘enemy of the average’ … we went into mainstream media with messages that challenged audiences about the mediocrity they were engaging with.

Radio.
Newspapers.
Cinema.
Magazines.
Nightclubs.
Television.

Wherever mainstream audiences were, we were there too.

And while many hated our work [it was even discussed in Australian Parliament] it not only attracted the largest audience increase in Triple J’s history, it reinvigorated their existing audience because they saw the brand they love stay true to who they are, despite wanting what they didn’t have.

I get we’re in different times.

I appreciate the idea of any risk is unpalatable for so many.

But nothing is as dangerous as changing who you are to attract people who aren’t your audience.

The brand voice is more than how you talk. Or look. It’s how you look at the world … and if you’re consistent with that, then you can express yourself in a million different ways and always be yourself.

But too many brands, despite what they say, don’t want to be distinct.

They see it as having the potential to alienate an audience.

To which I say this …

While you may think being something to anyone means you can engage more people, the fact is, the most power to build the value of your brand is when you are everything to someone.

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Listen To The Terrible Tones Of The Corporate Toady Choir …

First of all, this is the last post for a week.

I’m away next week for a talk – I know, I know – and not back till Thursday evening so you can go into the weekend with an extra big smile on your face. Assholes.

Anyway, back to the post.

Over the years, this industry has shown an alarming lack of judgement in how it presents itself.

However, of all the terrible ideas, the absolute worst has to be when they decide to show how ‘fun’ they are through the art of song.

There’s been so many examples.

Sapient Nitro – remember them? – started it with something I can’t remember.

Then Mindshare Amsterdam got in the act saying they ‘work hard for your money’.

Not to be left out … Leo Burnett Sydney did – I think – a Sister Sledge song for a pitch.

Then Ogilvy Athens wrote a ‘ballad’ dedicated to David Ogilvy.

And then – one of my car-crash favourites – the Singapore Media Development Authority did a rap that, rumour has it, almost stopped Eminem wanting to continue his career. Maybe.

Despite having written a few times about these symphonies of shit, the reason there are so few links is because over the years, the guilty parties realised it made them look like a bunch of lunatic impersonator ‘entertainers’ appearing on a revival of Stars in Their Eyes.

Which is why I’m so happy that someone has decided to revive the trend with an epic re-write of Elton John’s ‘I’m Still Standing’ … filmed where the original video was shot. Cannes.

Better yet … at Cannes while I believe the festival was on.

Now, to be fair, it is way, way better than the other films mentioned and shown in this post.

That doesn’t mean much given they were worse than the worst musical duo on Britain’s Got Talent musical duo in history, but beggars can’t be choosers.

But I still can’t grasp why anyone would do this.

Don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to take yourself seriously while still taking what you do seriously … but to decide you have to ‘show’ you’re fun outside the context of how you’d actually interact with a client seems crazy. Almost as crazy as thinking this shows you’re ‘fun’.

And remember, this is coming from me … who did iPod Singing and wear birkenstocks!!!

So with that, let me send you off to your weekend with this rendition of I’m Still Standing … which still you might think is a joke but I can assure you isn’t as bad as sitting in the Majestic during the festival and watching people pour 2 grand bottles of champagne down their throat while publicly banging on about the economic crisis facing them and their clients.

Happy weekend.

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