The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Spraying Ourselves With The Scent Of Sense …

So this is the last post for a week as I’m travelling for work.

I know … I know …

And while you may claim it’s another freebie holiday, it really is work. Albeit this time, it’s work that is mental in terms of crazy and exiting … which I hope I can talk about someday as it’s definitely one of those moments I’d like everyone to know about because its huuuuuuuuge bragging rights, hahaha.

Anyway, given I’ve probably already screwed my NDA, let’s get on with this post shall we?

A while back I wrote a post about the fragrance naming of Tom Ford. Specifically, the ‘Vanilla Sex’ variant.

Someone commented they found it interesting that I – and likely all men – would immediately interpret this as ‘boring/average sex’ when vanilla is the most universally accessible scent so it could easily mean the scent represented ‘sweet smelling sex’.

I responded by saying that while it is true vanilla is the most universally accessible scent, it is also widely accepted that using that word in association with ‘sex’ had very different connotations … and that interpretation had nothing to do with gender, but maybe age.

They deleted their comment.

I am unsure why they did, but I can guess and that is disappointing.

Of course, I appreciate men make A LOT of interpretations, associations, and confident claims about things they know little about. They are the undisputed champions of arrogant stupidity.

I also appreciate get utterly fucked that is … especially when they wade into subject matters that exclusively revolve around women, or more associated with women or people who identify as a woman.

You see it a lot – in fact, it happened to one of the brilliant members of my team last week – Meg – when she wrote something on Linkedin about a Bumble campaign … and was immediately hit with men not just telling her she was wrong, but then telling her what she should be thinking.

Which is why when that shit happens, they need to be called out.

But when that isn’t the case – or you realise it isn’t – then deleting your involvement doesn’t help.

Of course I get why people do it … but it doesn’t help build connections, understanding and bridges.

And frankly, we need more of that.

The divide in our industry is insane.

People are actively looking for the wrong in what others say or interpreting any alternative perspective as a personal attack.

OK, sometimes that is justified, especially on platforms like Linkedin … but not always.

The reality is people make mistakes.

We all do.

Hell, in the league table of misadventure, I would definitely be in the top 10.

But the key – at least for me – is about context and intent and my belief is the vast majority of people don’t want to be assholes. More than that, they want to actively learn and grow.

Now I appreciate it may not always seem that way … I get some people are trolls who, for reasons I will never really understand, get off on being violent with their words on all platforms of social media [though it confuses me even more when they do it on Linkedin, given we can see who they are], but I’m pretty sure most people aren’t like that. I think most people are decent but that can only be seen when there is an openness and calmness to debate and discussion. From both sides of the debate.

Sadly, men also find this incredibly difficult to achieve.

Especially men who seem able to permanently reside on the social media platforms.

And while some of them are egotistical, judgemental pricks – literally and metaphorically – the majority aren’t and that is why I feel the best way we can help the industry unite and evolve is if we lose the ego and apologise when we’re wrong and not gloat like dicks when we’re right.

To actively encourage and embrace the new, even if we don’t understand it.

To be open to challenges but in the spirit of curiosity and growth rather than destruction.

And to be open to be wrong and own it rather than try to disown it.

Of course, this is a two-way street, but given men are probably the reason for the vast majority of this behaviour – or ‘normalizing’ it – it’s only fair we take the lead in trying to change it.

Or said another way … take the lead in creating the conditions that let everyone else feel safe to discuss, debate and disagree.

And while that may sound very fucking Disney – especially from me – the reality is if we don’t do that, then for all the cleverness we claim our discipline offers– we’re showing we’re not that smart.

Worse, we’re acting as a barrier to brilliant people entering the industry, wanting to enter the industry or being able to thrive in it.

And yes, I appreciate how ridiculous the heaviness of this post is given it was inspired by a comment about a perfume called Vanilla Sex … but sometimes the craziest things create crazy outcomes.

Which is why maybe Tom Ford could launch a perfume for the strategy discipline entitled ‘vanilla debate … a scent designed to put our focus on creating work that leaves a lasting aroma rather than a discipline that’s starting to smell a bit like a sewer.

And with that, I’ll see you on June 4th, because – bizarrely – New Zealand has a day off on the 3rd for King Charles birthday. Which is great, but also stupid given what Colonialism did to the rightful people of this land. But before I digress into another rant, I’ll leave you with one teeny bit of information about the 4th June. And that is it will be 8 days before my birthday … so if you send your cheques now, they should reach NZ just in time for my special day.

You’re welcome.

See you soon.

Comments Off on Spraying Ourselves With The Scent Of Sense …


You Piece Of …

Whenever I am in the US, the thing that always shocks me – regardless how many times I’m there – are the pharmaceutical and lawyer ads.

Pharmaceutical on TV.

Legal on billboards.

They’re everywhere … forcing themselves on you like double glazing salesman who senses a moment of weakness in your resolve.

And while you tend to ignore the pharmaceutical ads – because they’re boring as fuck, long as hell and then filled with disclaimers that try to write-off ‘death’ as a casual side-effect – I am transfixed by the lawyer billboards.

Loud. Egotistical. Blustering in confidence.

They’re almost a parody except they’re deadly serious.

My Dad hated the US legal system … because according to him, it made a mockery of the law. Designed either to ambulance chase for quick wins or keep big cases going to maximise fees.

Anyway, recently on a trip to LA, I sat behind a bus with this:

On first glance, I just saw the URL and thought ‘Lemon Daddy’ may be a euphemism for some sort of sugar-daddy dating service. [I know, I know]

Then I saw the line ‘why are you still driving that piece of shit’, and it made me properly interested … especially when my taxi driver told me the guy in the pic was the basketballer, Austin Reaves, who plays for the Lakers.

Soon after that, I saw the name of the law firm ‘Drake’ and it all made sense – or should I say more sense – and by checking out the URL, I saw it was an ad for a law firm who specialise in taking on cases relating to faulty cars.

Frankly, the website reinforced what my Dad thought about a lot of American law … it’s a hard sell masterclass, but I still couldn’t work out why the NBA player was there unless:

1. It was just another way to try and get noticed.
2. Austin had a financial interest in the company.

So I did a bit of digging and – to be honest – the answer was more complicated than the most complicated law case. Have a read of this.

Now for someone who has been in this industry and worked in a lot of countries – including LA, where they’re based – but I’ve never heard of Black Llama creative. But that means fuck all. However – and I appreciate the snobbishness of this comment – I have been in this industry long enough to know what good work is and frankly, I have opinions about the claims they make about themselves:

Black Llama, a renowned creative advertising agency recognized for its innovation and expertise in brand development, played a pivotal role in the inception and execution of Lemon Daddy. Black Llama’s exceptional creativity, coupled with their strategic prowess, ensured that the Lemon Daddy campaign resonates with consumers, captivating their attention and generating engagement.

To be fair, they definitely achieved the latter part of their claim … but not by their innovation, expertise in brand development or exceptional creativity, but because they put a swear word in the headline and – for me – some random dude holding a basketball.

Look, I’m all for people having a go – and I appreciate everyone thinks they have something to offer that no one else has – but confidence means little when it’s so obvious you live in a bubble where you are the only one who judges what is great.

[One look at their website may highlight this is the case with them]

Good on them for making this happen.

Good on them for getting an NBA player involved.

Good on them for working with a client that seems to have a good idea.

But if I was Austin, I’d be online looking for SueMyManagementForBadEndorsementDeals.com

Comments Off on You Piece Of …


Dropping So Many Names, You’re Basically The World’s Worst Juggler …
May 22, 2024, 8:15 am
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Creativity, Culture, Luck, Music

When you’re as old as me, you learn life is about luck.

You also learn some people end up with a lot more of it than most others.

Might be their health.
Their looks.
Their families wealth.
Their connections.
The country they’re born in.

You name it, luck plays a big part in the life we all get to live – whether that’s good or bad.

But occasionally you meet someone who basically deserves all the luck they enjoy.

Not simply because they helped make it happen on their own, but because they operate at a different league in terms of their talent and capability.

I’ve met a few of those over the years and while it forces you to reconsider your own abilities, you can’t help be grateful to be in the company of someone who plays at a completely different level. Someone who opens up a whole new way of how you look at what’s possible – so even if you’re never going to be as good as them, you’ll be better than you thought you could be because of them.

It’s an honour and a gift to meet them.

What makes it even better is that in my experience, they’re pretty humble.

They know they’re good and they believe in their talent – but they never think that automatically means they’re better than others.

But this post isn’t about them …

No, this is a post about being born into luck.

The right family.
The right location.
The right bank account.
The right face in the right place at the right time.

Basically this is a post about Nick Laird-Clowes … the writer and singer of a song entitled, ‘Life In A Northern Town’ that was a worldwide hit in the mid-80’s.

This is the song:

Anyway, the reason I’m writing about him is that I recently read an article about how the song came about and in a relatively short article, I saw the most name-dropping I may have ever seen in my life.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m more than partial to a bit of that, but this is ridiculous.

Cop a load of this …

Musicians Paul Simon, Nick Drake and Pink Floyd’s Dave Gilmore.
Then record company boss Geoff Travis and Radio DJ, Kid Jensen.
Wrapping it all up with the TV show, The Tube, and presenters Jools Holland and Paula Yates

It’s crazy. Almost as crazy as realising that with his name, his privilege, his city of birth and his circle of friends [for example, the classical musician in the song was also a model] … he’s the last person who has any right to talk about ‘life in a Northern Town. Mind you, I’m impressed he is talking about Newcastle – even if it has a hint of bitterness towards the place given that was where he was fired from his TV job – because most people with his life and background equate anything outside the M25 as ‘the North’.

But in terms of luck – at least in terms of connections and associations – Nick is a winner, even if his music career didn’t extend past that one song.

To be mesmerised by the whole article, check it out here … and note that despite having that one hit single, Nick has just released a 7 CD box set.

SEVEN CD’S!!!

WTF?

Seriously, how many remixes of one song can anybody ever need, let alone want.

Proof you can a shit load of luck but still be deluded as fuck, hahaha.

Comments Off on Dropping So Many Names, You’re Basically The World’s Worst Juggler …


The Internet Is An Elephant …

You know those time capsule things that were all the rage for a while?

Where people bury artefacts from their life with the sole intention that it is dug up 20+ years later for people to marvel at. Or be confused by.

I always liked the idea of it but never got around doing it … mainly because I imagine the outtake is massively underwhelming unless you’re directly attached to it.

Well, I’ve been proved right … but in a way I love and am amazed at.

As many of you know, I was in a band called Bangkok Shakes.

Thee were 2 iterations of the band – with different singers and bass players – with the 2nd version almost becoming something of some note.

Till it didn’t.

Anyway, while I had a huge amount of fun – touring and recording – the fact it all ended when I was 23 or 24 means I only think about it when I occasionally pick up a guitar and play a few of the songs we wrote.

Enter my mate Sam.

I love Sam.

He’s a brilliantly annoying person … and I say that with utter love.

He also buys more ridiculous shit than me, and that’s saying something.

And yet despite his natural tendency for mischief and mayhem, he’s a wonderful, kind and caring human. Or he is until he gets something in his head, and then no one is safe.

Oh the stories I could tell …

In fact, I bet the people at Virgin Broadband are still counting the cost of trying to mess with him because he’s like a crime-fighting cockroach who won’t give up. Or die.

But his behaviour is not always acts of commercial terrorism, as I was soon to discover.

You see one day, he woke up and – for reasons only he will know – I was in his head.

Or specifically, Bangkok Shakes was.

So he decided to go on one of his legendary explorations resulting in me receiving a Whatsapp from him that said, “this is you, isn’t it?” with a link attached.

Ignoring all safety protocol, I found myself on Youtube, staring at this.

This shocked me for 4 very specific reasons.

+ The song it relates to was one I wrote in 1991.
+ It’s a song I didn’t know was anywhere near the internet.
+ It was a very early demo of a song we did, not the final recording.
+ The handwriting on the tape IS MY HANDWRITING. MINE! WTF?!

But wait … there’s more.

You see, I was so shocked that I put a screenshot of the Youtube page on insta regailing the whole story.

Enter Gareth Kay.

Now I love Gareth too.

He’s very different to Sam [thank god, ha] but as wonderful.

Gareth is a music obsessive so imagine my surprise when a day later – after seeing my instagram – he sent me an email with another link in it.

And yes, I pressed it without any consideration of network safety.

Except rather than take me to Youtube, it took me another site altogether … a fan site … a fan site featuring not just the stuff Sam found, but the ENTIRE GROUP OF SONGS FROM THE SESSION WE DID IN 1993.

Not only that, it also showed the inner sleeve of the cassette the demos were in … where I’d carefully written out all the song names and info of the recording. Including the ‘then’ phone number of our drummer, Jason!

Now I was properly flabbergasted.

How?
Why?
Where?

Of course I downloaded the tracks and while they sounded a bit pants – made worse by the recording coming from a tape that was obviously old and a bit screwed up – it was an utterly joyful experience.

A chance to revisit my past.
To be taken back to another time.
Where life was only about excitement, hope and energy.

And while I know we made a better version of this demo – and made a shit load of better songs after it – it was something very special for me. A reconnection to something that was incredibly important to me. Something I hoped would be the foundation of my entire life.

But how did this tape end up on this blokes website?

Well, it gets weirder … because this bloke is based in Perth, Australia.

He loves 80/90s rock and trades tapes from that era to build up his collection … which means that a tape that I helped create and wrote out in Nottingham, THIRTY ONE YEARS AGO in Nottingham, England, somehow ended up in the possession of a person literally on the other side of the planet who decided he liked it so much, he added it to the internet.

And I couldn’t thank him enough.

Not just for the memory and the connection to my home and history bu because I remember everything about that recording …

After spending a month in hospital because my retina in my eye continually collapsed, this was the first thing I did ‘back in the real world’.

It was a Sunday and I remember our singer – Joe – bitching about having to carry my amps into the studio as I was not allowed to lift anything heavy for a few months to ensure there was no strain on my eye whatsoever.

It was a quick session, designed to try out a few songs and be used to play to a few promotors we knew – but never for wider public listening – so if someone told me then that 3 decades later, I’d be listening to it on the internet from New Zealand, I’d have said you’re mad. And not just because no one would know what the internet was back then.

It was pretty emotional to hear it … and to play it to my family … because it represents a time where pretty much everything from that era has either gone or been left behind.

+ My parents were alive when we recorded that.
+ Dad hadn’t even had his stroke at that point.
+ So Mum was still working.
+ I lived in my family home.
+ I had no idea I was going to leave Nottingham.
+ I was working, but we were being courted by record companies so I thought things were about to change.
+ My wife – who was in Australia, a place I’d never been to at that point – would have been 17.
So Otis was -21, hahaha.

It was a chapter of my life that was wonderful, but I thought fully closed.

And while that door has not been smashed open, listening to those songs on that wonky tape cracked it open a little.

Which is why I laughed when Sam then came back again with another link … this time taking me to a page of old gig dates, where on Saturday 17th of some month and year, we played at the then iconic Narrowboat [RIP], scene of some of the best nights of my life.

We often look back at life with rose-tinted glasses.

Reimagining our history to be something more than it was.

But on this occasion, it was better than I remembered.

Not because of the music or my overly fancy handwriting … but because it allowed relatively new friends to walk around my old life … to let them inadvertendly know a bit more about the person they’d only casually heard about in convesation … to give me the gift of shining sunlight upon a time of my life I’d almost forgotten … a time of my life that was deeply important and special to me … one I never thought I’d be able to expeience again, let alone be able to finally share with the family I love.

And it’s because of that I want to say a huge thank you to Sam and Gareth, they may never know what they have done for me.

Just like that guy in Perth who somehow got a tape I wrote out in my bedroom in the early 90’s in West Bridgford, Nottingham.

They say elephants never forget, but neither does the internet.

And while that might be scary for some, it’s made me realise that maybe the time capsule is an even better idea than the worldwide web.

Comments Off on The Internet Is An Elephant …


Revealing the Artificial In AI …
May 20, 2024, 8:15 am
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Technology

Given the last few weeks or so have been quite serious and intense posts – at least by my standards – I thought I may lower the tone.

By lower, I mean ‘not about strategy’ because in terms of standard, it’s always questionable.

So one day last week, I was bored at work.

Don’t worry, I put it on the ‘bored’ job number.

Anyway, I decided to play Hangman with ChatGPT.

No … I don’t know why either.

Anyway, what I learned from our game was this …

I am fucking brilliant at Hangman.

“How brilliant?” I hear you cry … [Ahem]

So brilliant that I can beat it even when it makes up words.

So don’t worry about AI taking over your jobs, it can’t even beat an idiot like me at hangman.

Even when it cheats.

Though I am a bit concerned that it only admitted its mistake AFTER I beat it.

Following the belief that it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

Which is fine when we’re talking about a dodgy kids game played during office time, but maybe not so good when it launches nuclear weapons and claims they thought it was a firework show.

Comments Off on Revealing the Artificial In AI …