The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Eau De Toilet. Literally And Metaphorically …

The fragrance industry is fascinating.

I’ve written a bunch about this in the past [here, here and here for example] but nothing reinforces my view than the new fragrance bottle from Moschino.

Have a look at this …

On one hand I admire how the industry uses creativity to design distinctive bottles and packaging – mainly because the smelly liquid inside has little value – and I love the fearlessness they tend to embrace all they do, but there’s few industries as pretentious as the fragrance industry. Hell, they’re even more pretentious than a Swiss finishing school run by a Victorian father.

Now I accept some are being ironic – or have evolved to be that way, like Gucci for example – but the vast majority continue to have their heads so high up in the clouds, that even the biggest dope smokers couldn’t reach them.

I’m not sure which side Moschino are on, but anyone who makes a perfume bottle to look exactly like a disinfectant spray and proudly puts the words ‘toilette’ on it, suggests either the biggest misstep or act of fragrance genius I’ve seen in years.

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Venture Into The Internet Sea …
October 12, 2015, 6:15 am
Filed under: Wash Your Hands You Dirty Pup

… I’m back.

And guess what, I didn’t have a break. Nope.

Something ‘urgent’ came up that required a bunch of us to work through.

Though whether the the person responsible for making us work through the national holiday has the same definition of urgent as me is still under debate.

Actually it isn’t, but in the interests of still being able to pay my mortgage, I will shut up.

Not to mention the fact everyone has heard my POV on this situation. A lot. Ha.

What made it worse was poor little Otis got ill over the week.

What first seemed like a small thing got worse.

No where near as bad as some of my friends have experienced with their kids, but bad all the same and I felt utterly helpless.

I looked at him and he looked so vulnerable. Of course he did, because despite being a big, happy, bouncing boy … he is.

And what kills me is that when he looked at me, I knew he was doing it thinking he was safe because I am someone who loves him and will protect them and then there’s this moment where you realise that to do that, you will have to make him endure some things that are going to be horrible.

It’s the worst feeling of confliction in the World.

The good news is he’s on the mend and he’s going to be fine [and on a much lesser scale, the work we did is going to be awesome] so I’m going to take the week I missed out on very soon, which means you will all have another 5 days of blog freedom from me to look forward in the very near future.

Now I appreciate you may have got used to a higher standard of blog commentary while I was away … a higher standard of general sophistication … a higher standard of intellect … so because I’m so compassionate, I’m going to ease you back into the bottom of the barrel.

Until tomorrow.

And with that, I leave you with this.

Enjoy … if that is the right choice of word.

[Which is isn’t. At all]

Let’s Talk Sex …
July 17, 2015, 6:15 am
Filed under: Pornhub, Sex, Wash Your Hands You Dirty Pup

Don’t worry, I’m not suggesting I tell you about my sex life.

And to be honest, I’m probably not that interested in yours.

However Pornhub recently released data about the people using their site and it’s utterly fascinating.

From how Millennial’s suddenly stick with one thing longer than 2 minutes [9 minutes 10 seconds to be precise] to how ‘long nipples’ have lost their popularity.

No, I’m really not making this up.

The thing is – as I’ve said many times before – the best research is always about what people really do rather than what they say they do in the focus group environment and while this doesn’t always tell us ‘why’ they’re doing it, in the case of Pornhub, it’s not too hard to work out.

So turn your phone off, brew a nice cup of coffee, tell everyone you’re going to be in meetings the whole day, then find a quiet room and enjoy getting an insight on what actually is going on behind closed doors. I swear you will never look at your colleagues the same way again. Let alone want to shake their hand.