Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Colleagues, Comment, Content, Context, Dad, Planners Making A Complete Tit Of Themselves And Bless
A while back, someone sent me the image above with the words, “you’re in a cartoon”.
While they didn’t specify which of the 2 characters they were referring was me, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to work out which.
I have an incredible knack of saying things that come out the wrong way.
Or can be interpreted as coming out the wrong way.
But believe it or not, I never intentionally do that.
OK, I 96.3% of the time never intentionally do that.
I swear it’s because of my Dad …
He had an incredible array of techniques, questions and words to put people either on the back-foot or to get them to reveal their true agenda … so I think I got it off him.
Of course, he was a brilliant prosecutor and I’m an OK advertising planner … so what he did was not only part of his job, but something he was revered for how he did it, whereas mine is, errrrrm … not any of that.
That said, some of his techniques are things I have used for years.
For example, when someone say’s something I disagree with – rather than just say “can you help me understand what you’re actually trying to say” [which I also occasionally do, hence the cartoon], I simply repeat whatever they’ve said to me, but in a slow voice and an intonation at the end that makes it sound like a question.
You’d be amazed how often this makes the other person back down or rephrase what they said in much more palatable way.
And while I am still learning at how to be a better person, the one thing I can honestly say is that at least I’m asking questions to learn and understand rather than just make corporate small-talk.
God I hate that stuff.
The attempt to bond over mutual superficial bullshit.
It’s not schmoozing … at least there’s a purpose for that, it’s pandering.
And while this could easily be read as an excuse, that sort of shit is – for me – far more insulting than anything I may accidentally or unintentionally aggressively say.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Creative Brief, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture
Congrats, you survived my first week back.
OK, so it was only 3 days, but I’m still impressed.
But I don’t want you to heading into the weekend thinking you’ve already mastered the art of dealing with my rubbish, so here’s something to test you.
Good news.
It’s not about Queen.
Or Birkenstocks.
Or Nottingham Forest.
Bad news.
It’s about gadgets and cats.
You see a while back, I had to fly to the US and it just so happened to coincide with Jill and Otis being in Fiji [as you do]
While they were coming back the day after I’d left, it did mean Rosie the Cat would be on her own for a night.
Now she’s been on her own for a night before.
Hell, she was on her own for 15 nights when she had to do her quarantine when we moved to NZ – and that was after a hellish 26 hours in the cargo hold of a plane – but I still felt guilty about it.
So despite leaving more bowls of water and food to keep an army going for a year, I still wanted to know she was doing OK … which is where my love of gadgets comes in.
Putting aside the fact my plane had wifi – which is incredible in itself – I was able to use that wifi to connect to a camera in the house and see this …
There she is.
In NZ.
While I’m 40,000 feet in the air, somewhere over the Pacific Ocean.
But seeing my cat in real time while being so far away, surrounded by nothingness is not even the most impressive bit.
You see the reason her eyes are glowing as she looks directly at the camera is because she’s hearing my voice as I talk to her. TALK TO HER!!! LIKE I’M IN THE BLOODY ROOM. And that’s after I used an app on my phone to lower the blinds so she could feel more comfortable.
Go back just 25 years and doing this shit would be considered witchcraft. But here we are, able to do this wizardry without much effort or expense.
Madness.
Now I appreciate this topic has been discussed before and by people more articulate than I’ll ever be – for example disgraced comic, Louis CK with his ‘simpler times’ speech – however when you experience it, you realise the impact is far more powerful than words can say.
I loved being able to still look out for Rosie while I was far away.
Or at least, feel I was doing that.
Which is why for all my love of tech gadgetry, convenience and weirdness, its real power is realised when it enables your feelings rather than celebrates its function.
I know this is not new, but it’s amazing how few companies get that.
Even Ring – who literally made this happen for me – don’t seem to get it, which gives me the chance to reuse my fave Lucille Ball quote [and Colenso strat team sticker] to kind-of highlight one of the great issues with a lot of people working in marketing. And tech.
And for people who don’t know what the hell I’m trying to say, it’s this:
Listen to your audience more than your ego.
And with that, congrats on surviving this week and have a great weekend. To make things a bit sweeter, there’s no post on Monday because – drumroll please – THERE’S A HOLIDAY IN NZ.
I know. I know. We just had the World’s longest break, but not only is there one this Monday, we had one last Monday as well. Personally that would be my government campaign to attract talent to the country, but maybe that’s just me.
Beter go. Jill and Otis are in Australia, and as much as I miss them, I have countless true crime documentaries to catch up on.
Have fun.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Australia, Brand Suicide, Comment, Corporate Evil, Embarrassing Moments, England, Influencers, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Perspective, Positioning, Pretentious Rubbish, Revenge, Social Divide, Social Media
The media – and marketing – have perpetuated all manner of stereotypes over the years.
They spend enormous amounts of time and money painting psychological beliefs into society so they can profit from others shortcomings or vulnerabilities.
They don’t care if it destroys lives, to them that’s just canon fodder in the quest of riches, so everything is justifiable.
Which explains why we see so many things being labelled by the media and marketing industries … because it’s the perfect way to achieve mass social psychological manipulation.
You name it and they’ll have given a name to it.
Superfast.
Superfoods.
Superhair.
Supersoup
They’ll use a label to sell anything … from kale to self-help books to gender roles.
And while that is a fucking horrible way to behave, there is one thing that is pretty impressive and that’s their ability to not just never stop doing it … but to never stop inventing new bullshit labels to fuck with people.
Take a look at this …
A CEO body?
A fucking CEO body?
What does that even mean?
Do all CEO’s share a particular physical format?
I mean, I know Elon and Jeff went from dweeb to muscle mountains, but I’ve still met a bunch of CEO’s with very different body shapes to them.
Also, what sort of CEO are they talking about?
A CEO of a big company? A start-up company? A fast-food company?
Do they lead 3 employees or 33,000 employees?
Are they heading up a profitable company or a crypto disaster?
Do they write thought leader pieces on Linkedin or are they living in a social media blackhole?
And why are you only showing a man?
A white man.
Is it because you think only white men can become a CEO?
Have you inadvertently just explained the real reason behind corporate racism, prejudice and the glass ceiling all in one go?
And while I’m at it, can you explain what you mean by the term ‘midlife’ in your headline?
What is that?
Is it a specific number?
Is it 30?
What about 40?
I bet it’s a mid-number like 45 or something … just to mess with us.
Come on, don’t keep it to yourself. Is there a standard ‘midlife’ no one told me about.
You can tell me. I know at 52 I’ve likely passed it, but I’d still like to know.
Finally – and I really don’t want to be picky here – but why are you telling everyone what the 16 foods ALL men should be eating are?.
Is it CEO food?
Don’t CEO’s eat fancy and expensive stuff?
And if all men eat it, does that mean all men will become CEO’s?
How will that happen? Are there enough CEO jobs to go round to make that happen?
And what about the women who are CEO’s? Do they eat that food as well? Is that how they got to the top … they ate like a man and had a body like a man?
I’m so confused.
In fact the only thing that’s clear to me is how you’re using marketing labelling bullshit to add even more expectation and judgement on people’s lives just so you can attempt to profit even more from making society question how they are supposed to look and live.
All this coming from The Times newspaper.
The fucking Times!!!
Once the pinnacle of journalism and standards, now a peddler of utter horseshit.
Even more so when you think what their CEO’s body is like …
Maybe I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure no one would want to look like that, let alone be like that.
And if The Times think they do, it may help explain why their readership keeps falling.
Dickheads.
Oh I really enjoyed writing that.
Tomorrow is the last post of this year.
The last post – bar the one I’ll write on Jan 16th in memory of my Dad – until Feb 1.
February 1!!!
You lucky, lucky bastards.
So I thought I should ensure this week doesn’t pass by without some genuine ranty shit, to keep you warm and miserable until my return.
Except I’m not going to write it because a while back, a friend sent me something that I just wish I wrote. It’s peak-grumpy, passive-aggressive, hater. And yet I find myself agreeing with a lot of it. Which means I still have a long way to go to be the miserable prick I have often been accused of being.
That’s right, I’m being positive thanks to misery.
I’m confused as well, but have a read of this and maybe you’ll work it out.
Then you can tell me what the hell is going on.
Till tomorrow my friends. Till tomorrow …
Filed under: Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Colleagues, Comment, Confidence, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture
I love this.
I know some would say that’s because I am this – and sometimes I accept that I am am – but that’s not the reason I love it.
No. My adoration just comes from the attitude of going all in.
No compromise.
No hedging bets.
No pandering or placating.
It’s all in or absolutely nothing.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not advocating being a prick. We have enough of those in this business already … but what is even more annoying with those people is they’re being a prick for their ego rather than the work. They’ve already played their ‘please the client at all costs’ card and now they’re throwing their weight around to look like they haven’t.
But we can see those people from a mile off.
They’re more transparent than a bloody greenhouse.
No, I’m talking about those who push for great. Who hold the line for standards and expectations. Who demand the right response not the easiest or least offensive. Who tell the truth when bending it would be a far easier course of action.
There’s not enough of those people.
And we need them.
Because while it may appear that approach is counterproductive to building relationships, loyalty and business – with great clients, it does exactly that for one simple reason.
Standards need stubbornness.