Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Comment, Confidence, Culture, Education, Emotion, Empathy, Equality, Honesty, Leadership, Legend
I hate losing.
Absolutely hate it.
But I also understand there are benefits to it.
Well, if you lost despite giving your all.
Because losing is a lesson.
It forces you to take a long hard look at yourself.
What you did.
What you didn’t.
What you can improve.
What you need to improve.
What you can take forward with you.
And while there’s the famous Vince Lombardi quote:
“Show me a good loser and I’ll show you a loser”
… I’ve found those who take loss on the chin aren’t necessarily doing it because they don’t care, they’re doing it because they do.
But recently I found incredible quote from Muhammad Ali.
A new way to look at the role of losing … and I love it.
What a way to own loss …
Turning the narrative from despair to character.
Changing judgement into inspiration.
And to do that when you’ve lost the ‘fight of the century’ … incredible.
But then Ali always knew the role and responsibility he held.
He may not have wanted it, but he was not going to close the door on those who needed it.
Needed him.
Needed his direction, inspiration and articulation.
Needed to know there was a chance of a better life than the one others wanted them to have.
Which is why it makes everything even more perfect that he then went on to win that fight.
Twice.
Because honour in losing was just preparation for his honour is victory.
In a World of white, toxic machismo … how we could do with Ali’s majesty right now.
I’ve written a lot in the past about how Valentine’s Day is more about fear than love.
I’ve written about how I purposely proposed to Jill before Valentine’s Day, rather than immediately before it.
I’ve also talked about how for the first 10+ years of our marriage, we never spent this day together.
But today I’m going to do something different.
Don’t get me wrong, I still hate Valentine’s Day – or at least, the way it tries to shame people into engagement – but it’s time to write something that honours the day.
You see right now, I love my wife more than I may ever have loved her.
That’s not some rose-tinted glasses bullshit, it’s true.
Now of course I’ve always loved my wife … but we’re at a place where things just feel even more special. Of course we’ve had our ups and downs – mainly caused by me – but we’re currently in a place where I feel we’re stronger, closer and more united than ever.
I won’t lie, it feels wonderful.
Not that things weren’t great before, but there is a different calmness that now sits between us. I can’t quite explain it, but it even more special.
I don’t know how this happened.
Maybe it’s due to our age.
Or maybe where we live.
Or how we live.
Or maybe it’s to do with Otis.
Or – most likely – it’s more to do with the choices and priorities I’m making.
But whatever the reason … the foundation feels like it’s even stronger than ever and after almost 20 years together, that’s an amazing thing to feel.
I always knew I was going to marry someone from ‘overseas’.
Maybe it was because my Mum was Italian or because my parents kept reiterating a life of adventure existed just beyond England’s shores … but it always felt inevitable I’d end up with someone not from England.
To think we went from meeting in Australia to living together in Singapore in 6 weeks seems even more incredible as I get older.
Of course that was all down to Jill.
That she was willing to take a leap of faith for a bloke she hardly knew.
A bloke who needed an emergency operation within 3 weeks of meeting so the first time she ever spoke to my Mum was to say, “hello, Rob is in hospital”.
A bloke who said, “we’ll only leave Australia for 2 years” and then proceeded to move her further and further away every 2 years … forcing her to start again while I walked into a ready-made world, thanks to work.
It’s easy to give platitudes early in a relationship … but to still feel lucky and grateful so long into a relation is – at least to me – a sign of something special.
And that’s what Jilly is.
A incredibly special human.
I love her. Always have. But even more today.
And while I could go on, I know she would rather I didn’t.
Mainly because – unlike her husband – she hates being the centre of attention. So instead I’ll leave you with one of the most beautiful stories of love I’ve ever read.
I’ve written about it before.
And I appreciate many would think it’s incredibly sad.
But nothing captures what true love is, like the last sentence. However, just like the real thing, you have to go through a lot to really understand it and earn it – which is why I ask you to read the whole piece, rather than just skip to end for the one-night stand version of it.
Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone.
I hope you have found or known love like Dan Aykroyd has.
And if not, there’s always time.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Colleagues, Comment, Content, Context, Dad, Planners Making A Complete Tit Of Themselves And Bless
A while back, someone sent me the image above with the words, “you’re in a cartoon”.
While they didn’t specify which of the 2 characters they were referring was me, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to work out which.
I have an incredible knack of saying things that come out the wrong way.
Or can be interpreted as coming out the wrong way.
But believe it or not, I never intentionally do that.
OK, I 96.3% of the time never intentionally do that.
I swear it’s because of my Dad …
He had an incredible array of techniques, questions and words to put people either on the back-foot or to get them to reveal their true agenda … so I think I got it off him.
Of course, he was a brilliant prosecutor and I’m an OK advertising planner … so what he did was not only part of his job, but something he was revered for how he did it, whereas mine is, errrrrm … not any of that.
That said, some of his techniques are things I have used for years.
For example, when someone say’s something I disagree with – rather than just say “can you help me understand what you’re actually trying to say” [which I also occasionally do, hence the cartoon], I simply repeat whatever they’ve said to me, but in a slow voice and an intonation at the end that makes it sound like a question.
You’d be amazed how often this makes the other person back down or rephrase what they said in much more palatable way.
And while I am still learning at how to be a better person, the one thing I can honestly say is that at least I’m asking questions to learn and understand rather than just make corporate small-talk.
God I hate that stuff.
The attempt to bond over mutual superficial bullshit.
It’s not schmoozing … at least there’s a purpose for that, it’s pandering.
And while this could easily be read as an excuse, that sort of shit is – for me – far more insulting than anything I may accidentally or unintentionally aggressively say.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Creative Brief, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture
Congrats, you survived my first week back.
OK, so it was only 3 days, but I’m still impressed.
But I don’t want you to heading into the weekend thinking you’ve already mastered the art of dealing with my rubbish, so here’s something to test you.
Good news.
It’s not about Queen.
Or Birkenstocks.
Or Nottingham Forest.
Bad news.
It’s about gadgets and cats.
You see a while back, I had to fly to the US and it just so happened to coincide with Jill and Otis being in Fiji [as you do]
While they were coming back the day after I’d left, it did mean Rosie the Cat would be on her own for a night.
Now she’s been on her own for a night before.
Hell, she was on her own for 15 nights when she had to do her quarantine when we moved to NZ – and that was after a hellish 26 hours in the cargo hold of a plane – but I still felt guilty about it.
So despite leaving more bowls of water and food to keep an army going for a year, I still wanted to know she was doing OK … which is where my love of gadgets comes in.
Putting aside the fact my plane had wifi – which is incredible in itself – I was able to use that wifi to connect to a camera in the house and see this …
There she is.
In NZ.
While I’m 40,000 feet in the air, somewhere over the Pacific Ocean.
But seeing my cat in real time while being so far away, surrounded by nothingness is not even the most impressive bit.
You see the reason her eyes are glowing as she looks directly at the camera is because she’s hearing my voice as I talk to her. TALK TO HER!!! LIKE I’M IN THE BLOODY ROOM. And that’s after I used an app on my phone to lower the blinds so she could feel more comfortable.
Go back just 25 years and doing this shit would be considered witchcraft. But here we are, able to do this wizardry without much effort or expense.
Madness.
Now I appreciate this topic has been discussed before and by people more articulate than I’ll ever be – for example disgraced comic, Louis CK with his ‘simpler times’ speech – however when you experience it, you realise the impact is far more powerful than words can say.
I loved being able to still look out for Rosie while I was far away.
Or at least, feel I was doing that.
Which is why for all my love of tech gadgetry, convenience and weirdness, its real power is realised when it enables your feelings rather than celebrates its function.
I know this is not new, but it’s amazing how few companies get that.
Even Ring – who literally made this happen for me – don’t seem to get it, which gives me the chance to reuse my fave Lucille Ball quote [and Colenso strat team sticker] to kind-of highlight one of the great issues with a lot of people working in marketing. And tech.
And for people who don’t know what the hell I’m trying to say, it’s this:
Listen to your audience more than your ego.
And with that, congrats on surviving this week and have a great weekend. To make things a bit sweeter, there’s no post on Monday because – drumroll please – THERE’S A HOLIDAY IN NZ.
I know. I know. We just had the World’s longest break, but not only is there one this Monday, we had one last Monday as well. Personally that would be my government campaign to attract talent to the country, but maybe that’s just me.
Beter go. Jill and Otis are in Australia, and as much as I miss them, I have countless true crime documentaries to catch up on.
Have fun.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Apathy, Attitude & Aptitude, Brand Suicide, Comment, Corporate Evil, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Fake Attitude
I love new business.
I love the thrill of getting stuck into something new.
The inquisition into how a business runs.
The exploration of how others see it and the category it plays in.
The history of why it started not just what is is doing.
All coming together to help formulate a point of view for the discussions you’ll have.
I’m not saying it’s easy. And in this economy, it will not only be harder to encourage new ways to tackle old problems … they’ll be more companies trying to do the same thing, often using price as their leverage rather than rigour.
Oooooh, look at me being all judgemental. But I’ll stick with it.
Anyway, the point is, new business is the lifeblood of all business.
What you do and how you do it may alter, but bringing in new clients and projects is oxygen. Not simply for the financial strength of the company, but the ability to reinvent who you are with every assignment.
Now there’s lots of ways people and companies approach new business but one I loathe is the speculative letter. Blanket and blind correspondence trying to make you care about something that you didn’t ask for and don’t really want to consider.
But as bad as that is, there’s now one that is even worse.
The blanket and blind lazy letter.
I know … I know … what could be lazier than blanket and blind?
Well, I’ll tell you, this …
Everything about this is hateful to me.
+ The suggestion they know someone who has told them what I am looking to do at work.
+ The blatant disregard for who I am, what I do and what my company does.
+ The claims of experience and reputation, despite their previous sentences proving otherwise.
+ The idea that the only difference between finding entry level talent and senior level talent is simply the payment of an additional $15 an hour.
+ The desperate attempt to close with a call.
Does this approach work?
Does anyone take them up on this scam?
What makes it even more of a joke is the Clustox website claims they ‘build software that grows businesses and startups’.
What software is that exactly? Spam software.
I tell you what would help you Clustox … know who the fuck you are talking to.
It’s not hard.
At the very least, make sure the person you’re writing to has some relevance to what you’re flogging. Has some connection to the industry you claim to serve and can assist with.
In fact the only effective thing this piece of unsolicited communication has done is ensure I will never work with you – even if I suddenly want to hire oodles of tech engineers.
And that’s exactly what I’ll tell Patricia when we talk next week.