The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Feb 14th: Guilt-Trip Love Day.

So it’s Valentines Day and despite getting engaged a few days ago, I’ve left the missus behind and am in Hong Kong. What a nice man I am eh!

Let me start by saying I like flowers. Not enough to start doing any gardening I should add, but I do like them and that doesn’t make me a ponce!

Flowers are pretty, smell nice and make your home look great.

They come in all colours, fragrances and ‘designs’ plus they can make a woman ‘drop her pants’ in the blink of an eye. Unless you buy dead crocus’s of course .. then they buy a duffel coat and do all the buttons right up to the top AND fold their arms over their chest! Ring any bells Mr Vener?

Anyway, as flowers grow out the ground all over the World … even in my garden … I can only assume Florists use ribbon made of gold to tie the bunches up – because what other reason could there be for charging 8 million dollars for a couple of roses!!!

Hell, daffodils are almost like bloody weeds yet florists somehow justify charging a soddin’ fortune for them … especially horrible when I could ‘borrow’ them from a neighbours garden for free!

They even have the nerve to charge a few bucks for a card to write your message on.

Yes, yes, they do supply a ‘free’ card but this is either so flimsy thin or bad taste that by using it, you’ll be remembered for your lack of judgment than for giving a beautiful bouquet.

Then comes Valentine’s Day. The Day Of Love. Of Profit.

As if Florists weren’t charging enough already, they DOUBLE their prices to put that final nail into the coffin of exploitation. Can someone, anyone explain to me how one shop in Sydney can justify charging $150 [+$15 delivery] for 12 manky, thorn-ridden roses!!! AND THEN CAN’T EVEN GUARANTEE THEY’LL BE RED!!!

$150!!! 

You could [allegedly] hire a high class prostitute for that. Well, for at least 2 minutes, but lets be honest here, that’s about as much time as most blokes would need!!!

Valentine’s Day has lost its true meaning. Rather than showing love, it is a profit making exercise for Florist and Card Manufacturers.

How can women feel special when men are basically ‘pressured’ into participating. That’s not love … that’s nagging.

People should show ‘love’ 365 days a year, not once, and if some lady really thinks getting flowers on Valentine’s Day proves he loves her, then the alternative view is that he only did it because he didn’t want the insecure, dumpy bird he met and snogged while pissed at a nightclub 2 weeks prior, to get all moody on him when he wants a quiet night at home.

Normally I would send my ‘Valentine’ [read: Jill] a gift on a day other than 14th Feb … because it is something I wanted to do, rather than feel ordered to do [plus it would make me look even cooler to her work colleagues, ha!] … however, given I’ve just coughed up a small fortune on a piece of carbon to wear on her finger, she’ll just have to do without this year, ha.

Saying all that, we did a wonderful campaign for a florist in 2002 using the ‘circumstantial cultural evidence’ bollocks we bang on about. [or … as Andy keeps whinging about … as read in ‘Freakonomics’]

Anyway, we were approached by a rather well known florist chain to promote Valentine’s Day but rather than do the usual ‘Lovey Dovey’ stuff, we saw that around the World, the attack on the Twin Towers had dramatically changed the way people were living …

Classic ‘savings’ accounts at Banks had become popular again.

Love songs were topping the charts all around the World.

The cinemas were full of both romantic comedies and Arnie-esque ‘Tough Guy’ films for the first time in years

Home improvement expenditure had gone through the roof.

Family holidays were back ‘in vogue’ as were sit-down family dinners.

Church attendances had gone up. [But then so had Harley Davidson sales!]

There was lots more … but I think you get the idea.

Anyway, all this smacked of the World going through abit of ‘humanity-love-fest’ … a need to bond and re-connect … a need to get back to the important things in life … a need to feel emotions again … and so we advised our client to ‘change’ Valentines Day from ‘love of an individual’ to ‘love of all people who are important’ and [cue: drumroll] sales increased 596%

OK … OK … so we helped a client profit from a tragedy – but at least a lot more people felt good about life that day PLUS it was our first real foray into this ‘circumstantial cultural evidence’ area we now embrace in all we do.

Of course the client tried to use the same strategy the following year … but Bush had pissed the whole World off by then, so we were all back in our ‘materialism, greed and instant-gratification’ phase, so it bombed … however I do think the real power of communication is knowing/understanding ‘cultures and life issues’ rather than just focusing on soddin’ categories!

Anyway, you’ll be able to read all about it once Andy has finished our bloody book. Probably in 2057!

Hmmmmn, I’m going off on a complete tangent now aren’t I?  Well, at least I’m inkeeping with the people who post comments on here. 

Lets face it, I could write about Neo-Nazi’s and within 2 comments there would be comments about sausages, fuzzy felt or the colour beige. 

Oh well, toodle-pip for now and may you all get tons of cards, flowers and choccies.

33 Comments so far
Leave a comment