The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

I’ve written about how I purposely proposed to Jill before Valentine’s Day, rather than immediately before it.

I’ve also talked about how for the first 10+ years of our marriage, we never spent this day together.

But today I’m going to do something different.

Don’t get me wrong, I still hate Valentine’s Day – or at least, the way it tries to shame people into engagement – but it’s time to write something that honours the day.

You see right now, I love my wife more than I may ever have loved her.

That’s not some rose-tinted glasses bullshit, it’s true.

Now of course I’ve always loved my wife … but we’re at a place where things just feel even more special. Of course we’ve had our ups and downs – mainly caused by me – but we’re currently in a place where I feel we’re stronger, closer and more united than ever.

I won’t lie, it feels wonderful.

Not that things weren’t great before, but there is a different calmness that now sits between us. I can’t quite explain it, but it even more special.

I don’t know how this happened.

Maybe it’s due to our age.

Or maybe where we live.

Or how we live.

Or maybe it’s to do with Otis.

Or – most likely – it’s more to do with the choices and priorities I’m making.

But whatever the reason … the foundation feels like it’s even stronger than ever and after almost 20 years together, that’s an amazing thing to feel.

I always knew I was going to marry someone from ‘overseas’.

Maybe it was because my Mum was Italian or because my parents kept reiterating a life of adventure existed just beyond England’s shores … but it always felt inevitable I’d end up with someone not from England.

To think we went from meeting in Australia to living together in Singapore in 6 weeks seems even more incredible as I get older.

Of course that was all down to Jill.

That she was willing to take a leap of faith for a bloke she hardly knew.

A bloke who needed an emergency operation within 3 weeks of meeting so the first time she ever spoke to my Mum was to say, “hello, Rob is in hospital”.

A bloke who said, “we’ll only leave Australia for 2 years” and then proceeded to move her further and further away every 2 years … forcing her to start again while I walked into a ready-made world, thanks to work.

It’s easy to give platitudes early in a relationship … but to still feel lucky and grateful so long into a relation is – at least to me – a sign of something special.

And that’s what Jilly is.

A incredibly special human.

I love her. Always have. But even more today.

And while I could go on, I know she would rather I didn’t.

Mainly because – unlike her husband – she hates being the centre of attention. So instead I’ll leave you with one of the most beautiful stories of love I’ve ever read.

I’ve written about it before.

And I appreciate many would think it’s incredibly sad.

But nothing captures what true love is, like the last sentence. However, just like the real thing, you have to go through a lot to really understand it and earn it – which is why I ask you to read the whole piece, rather than just skip to end for the one-night stand version of it.

Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone.

I hope you have found or known love like Dan Aykroyd has.

And if not, there’s always time.